Thursday, October 20, 2011
"When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past.” - this is a quote I just read on HS1056's profile. WOW! Perfectly true in every way - this really epitomizes my thoughts lately. I have been both depressed and anxious recently over such thoughts.
I realized the other day that I have not stayed on track eating-wise and exercise-wise for more than a couple of days in a row for YEARS. It seems like the more often I have tried to go on different "diets," or rather, healthy eating plans (whether I include exercise or not), I have always gone back to my old ways immediately. I haven't stayed on a diet for a whole week in YEARS. Talk about a self-esteem blow.
What makes this time any different? I don't know. I have started over on this website so many times; I come on Sparkpeople for a week or so, even if I don't stick to my diet, and then I disappear for one or more months. The past few months of my inconsistency are about the most consistent I have been on here. The only thing different is that I have still kept doing some sort of exercise every day for almost two weeks. Plus, this is day 4 of me sticking to my diet! I have already made it about twice as long as usual.
The crux of this situation is that tomorrow, I am having my wisdom teeth surgically excised and I won't be able to get out and exercise tomorrow. I am being put completely under for the surgery and I really won't be able to eat tomorrow either. Soft foods only for a few days following. I am super nervous. The procedure is horrifying to read about, and I am a big baby when it come to bone saws. God help me.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Well, this is my second day back on the eating plan. I am a weekend muncher, as my hub is home and I do nothing but loaf around with him and eat for two days. But yesterday I stuck to the plan! I ate toward the lesser end of my calories, which excites me.
I plan an equally satisfying day today, and I have already worked out! Here's to day 2, may it be as glorious as yesterday and beyond! I am hoping my new resolve will help the go down toward my goal!
Today is also the first day I am completely I am eating right for my high cholesterol, and nothing can stop me!
My new goal is to be around my short-term goal weight by - November 23rd, actually. It is October 18th today, and that gives me 5 weeks and a day from today. I'd like to be at least in between my first and second "small goals." If I lose 2 lb. per week, I can be around 126 or so, which would be excellent! I can almost feel the future success coming on. Wish me luck!
Friday, October 14, 2011
I did really well on my diet for the past two days - until last night. My husband was starving an hour after dinner and I wasn't hungry, but I craved anyway. We got a large pizza (16") with extra cheese, green pepper, onion, and pepperoni, thin crust, as well as some pepperoni cheese sticks. I ate a stick and then went on to eat who knows how many pieces of pizza. They were square pieces, about 2 x 2 in. I think I ate like 3 with most of the crust and then two to three more of just the toppings (meaning the cheese and veg). I wanted to throw it up. I was worried I'd aspirate on the cheese if I tried to do that. How sick is that? I am so upset with myself, and I don't understand why, despite this health scare, I continue to do this to myself. I can't control myself.
I am happy to report, at least, that I did go for a walk today and have started back on the healthy eating. It's just so depressing to have done this for years - I was able to diet on Weight Watchers once a few years ago for 3 weeks and lost the weight and kept it off, and I can't hardly stay on one for 3 days anymore. It's always been one day on, a week or ten off, trying over and over and over. It has really taken a toll on my self-esteem.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Talk about a wake up call! I had the results from a physical done a month ago arrive the day before yesterday --I have pretty high cholesterol for a 24-year old girl with a BMI of 24-ish. I mean, it's almost 200, with HDL ("good" cholesterol) at 42 (under the optimal level by quite a bit). My triglycerides are off the chain for me. It seems that a couple years ago my cholesterol was around 100 or lower.
So, yesterday I started really sticking to my diet and I did it. I reached all of my nutrition goals, and didn't binge on bacon, sausage, or cheese, like I normally do. Today, so far, I have done well and on my food log I still have dinner to eat as well as a few sugar-free popsicles. I walked 1.7 miles yesterday and today. I hope I can stick to it and do it this time; it appears heredity is not on my side as far as cholesterol is concerned, my Mom's is 274 and my Dad's is 220-ish.
I hope this health scare is enough to tip the motivation scale in my favor.
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