WHITNEYLD   34,381
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I'm Fat and Miserable.

Thursday, November 08, 2012

Just a quick blog to let you know I'm still here.

I have basically been trying to watch what I eat and failing miserably every day. I did OK yesterday, but I have gained back the 4 lb. I lost. I have stopped participating in the fall 5% challenge, too. Perhaps these two things are related, but I can't seem to get back on track.

My latest problem is eating snacks at work. I am eating junk off the snack cart and it is costing me in pounds... I can't stop; it is almost like binging. I am doing it daily. I don't know how to stop. I have to be around the snacks, and I can't seem to leave them alone.

In other news, still don't know if I am pregnant and just getting over a bad cold. I am miserable on all fronts. I wanted to lose a few lb. before I got pregnant, but it looks like a far away dream at this point.

Sorry to be such a downer. I just feel terrible about my lack of commitment. I want this, why can't I just STOP self-sabotaging?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALLIEALLIE2 11/13/2012 1:30PM

    emoticon I have been having the same issue with the halloween candy:( So you are not alone. And I agree with the others lets take it one day at a time :) emoticon

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DONNACFIT 11/9/2012 10:17PM

    Everybody's been there..we just have to get back on track once in awhile..happens to everyone..starrt with basics.. we're glad you're still here..you can do it..Spark can help

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RECREATING_ME 11/9/2012 4:30PM

    emoticon I know how hard it is when things feel like they have gotten derailed. But even when we are succeeding, it's still a matter of baby steps.

I have been participating in a virtual conference all this week, and the final speaker said something that made me think about my journey to health -- "What one thing can you change to be more effective?" That really resonated with me because it focused on the positive outcomes that result from looking at just one thing. Once I have that down, then I can go to another thing. Get that going well, and then look to one other thing. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Over time, there are lots of things that I am doing to work toward my goal and they add up to an impressive effort. But it all starts with just one thing.

You can do this. You are worth it!

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MOONSTORMER 11/9/2012 12:14AM

    so sorry you're feeling down emoticon

it might be worthwhile to remind yourself why you're doing this. the 'good' and the 'bad' reasons. could be time for a vision collage of some form to make to re-evaluate why you're on this path in the first place.

i agree with the other comments - slow down and take some baby steps. just track everything you eat, even if you don't worry about range. or just focus on getting your water intake up. or just focus on eating 5 servings of veggies each day. one step at a time, and you'll be back in no time!

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LUCKEYRN11 11/8/2012 8:30PM

    I haven't been at my best this week... We all get there at times... Last night I planned a menu for the next few days, today I went to the store, worked out, made breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I am so thankful I did these things today. I feel like I'm back on track, just after one day, and sooo ready to keep it going tomorrow.

Start back RIGHT NOW! It is never too late!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BLUENOSE63 11/8/2012 7:46PM

  You need to step back, take a breather and go back to basics. Bring your snacks to work...great suggestion. Also are you drinking the water?
I am sure you have heard it all before but just remember -- we hear ya, and we have been there and come through the other side.

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LOVESLIFE48 11/8/2012 6:38PM

    So sorry to hear you are feeling down. I have been there many times. First of all you need to have healthy snacks!! Bring a bunch from home!! Nuts, fruit, veggies, string cheese, snack crackers. Read the labels!! You can find a lot out there!!
You need to break the cycle with the junk food. They say the more you eat the more you crave it, and I believe it!! If you are pregnant you need to eat healthy too for the baby!!

Don't forget to get some kind of activity!! Walking, even down arm circles is activity!! Keep moving!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/8/2012 6:39:25 PM

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    I agree with SHANNADC. Let me suggest you take the focus off weight loss for now and shift to eating healthy foods. Lots of healthy foods. Don't focus on limiting your calories right now. Focus instead on eating lots of veggies, lean protein and complex carbs. Eat until you are fully satisfied and bring healthy snacks to work. Keep them with you so that when you see the snack cart you can say, "Oh, I brought a yummy ________ with me to snack on today." I think it's important to break our "addiction" to the taste of unhealthy foods. Don't forget to get your water in. Healthy foods are what your body will need to grow a healthy baby.

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KOKITTY 11/8/2012 1:30PM

    Have you thought about why you're eating snacks so much? Is it stress? Are your regular meals not filling you up? Could it be to console this negative voice telling you you're fat and failing? (Which is not true! Remember to treat yourself with love & respect!)
Take some time to relax and think on it. Once you can find the root of the issue you can definitely work towards overcoming it!!
Hang in there!!!!!!!

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HOPEFULHIPPO 11/8/2012 1:28PM

    You will find out what makes you tick....you will move forward. This is not a "quick fix" journey but a lifestyle. Losing weight and getting healthy is over half mental.

Everytime you feel like giving up....start again. If you want it, it will happen. You will find what works for you. Good job on blogging this though...getting your emotions out. Like I said, a lot of this is mental and we will get through this together


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RAINBOWCHOC 11/8/2012 1:25PM

    this too shall pass

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MIPALADY23 11/8/2012 1:10PM

    Shake things up!!! You can do this!!

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SHANNADC 11/8/2012 12:31PM

    I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Feb_Showers is right about taking things one day at a time, and sometimes, on my very worst days, I have to slow it down even more and say "I really don't know if I can make it through a whole day just yet, but I KNOW I can make it through the next (meal/interval/hour/fifteen minutes)" and feel better about even tiny accomplishments because they really do add up. You CAN do this. Have a good cry if you need it, then take a deep breath and pick just one thing or time-frame you know you can manage. Then pick another. And keep going. ::Big virtual hugs::

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BEATLETOT 11/8/2012 12:27PM

    Hey, girl! You can start up the challenge again TODAY. You're still on the team after all! And this week's challenge is staying in-range. If you won't do it for you, do it for us! =) emoticon

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FEB_SHOWERS16 11/8/2012 12:08PM

    I'm so sorry you're feeling like this right now emoticon

I have been where you are so many times. I remember being so frustrated that I would literally look in the mirror and punch myself. I was angry and every day I would fail.

Until finally one day I snapped. I had enough. Please remember that all it takes is one day to turn things around. Just one day. Make it through one day and stay on track and you'll be amazed at how great you feel when you wake up the next morning! It will motivate you to make it another great day!
It's still early and it's not too late to make this your day. You can do it! emoticon

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I'm Back, with Scary & Exciting News!

Monday, October 15, 2012

So, I have taken a week off Spark and actually lost 3 lb! emoticon

My scary and exciting news is that my husband and I are going to try and get pregnant now. I am taking some time off school and we are going to start a family. I am super scared but excited, too. Wish me luck!

This means that I will no longer be dieting to lose weight. I am going to try and lose a bit here before we get pregnant, but I'll be gaining 20-30+ lb. (I hope the lower end, not 50+).

If anyone has any experiences to share on pregnancy, I'd appreciate it. I'm nervous!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESSIEJACKS76 10/30/2012 9:00PM

    Awesome. I know someone who is continueing using myfitnesspal to track food. It has a setting for pregnant.

I would say continue to eat healthy. If u feel like it check and see if sparkpeople has the same option. Or ask your doctor for a appropriate calories range and try to stick to it. (Although I wouldn't sweet it to much)

Pregnancy and new babies are wonderful. Babydust to you!!!!

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DAUGHTEROFTWIN 10/30/2012 6:46PM

    Congratulations on your decision! The other posters have given you great advice. Eating healthy and moderate, low intensity exercise is important to a healthy baby, a healthy you.

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FITGRL124 10/30/2012 5:47PM

    I do NOT know how I missed this blog! BUT, how exciting!!! I can't wait to hear the news! :)


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RECREATING_ME 10/19/2012 9:40PM

    That is exciting news! Good luck with it all :)

I don't have any advice on the pregnancy front since DH and I adopted both of our children, but what you have already gotten sounds like it will put you on the right path. Parenthood is quite the fun adventure!

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KOKITTY 10/16/2012 12:16AM

    Congrats! That's so exciting!

Keep in mind for pregnancy everyones weight gain is different 20-30 is usually all most doctors recommend for the average woman. And you'd be surprised how little you need to up your daily calorie intake! I'll give you a clue (it's not double)

Utilize all the tools and people around you and I'm sure you'll make it through this scary and exciting change! Good luck!

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BARCLE 10/15/2012 8:24PM

    Woohoo - all the best.

The advice I give (and wish, wish, wish, wish I'd known and done before I got pregnant) was to walk for at least 3 times a week for an hour or thereabouts. It doesn't have to be anything strenuous but it does make such a difference. I reckon if I'd known and done that I wouldn't have such a battle to lose the weight and shape up.

Hope that helps :-)

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DALID414 10/15/2012 12:57PM


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KANSASROSE67 10/15/2012 11:16AM

    Best advice to is relax, live your life and enjoy every moment. And don't use pregnancy as an excuse to eat badly...great, nutritious food will help you and baby be healthy.


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DSHRUBS3 10/15/2012 10:50AM

    Good luck!! That is great news!!!

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OPERATIONSIZE6 10/15/2012 10:49AM

    check out www.halfsizeme.com - she talks alot about diet / exercise and pregnancy. I love all her podcasts!

Good luck to you!

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SQUIRRELLYONE 10/15/2012 10:40AM


They've got a lot of great articles about getting ready to get pregnant, and most of the same tools (although according to some of the comments everything's not exactly the same with the nutrition tracker)

Good luck!

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GREENBEAN17 10/15/2012 10:37AM

    Awesome and exciting news! Congrats.

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LADYJ6942 10/15/2012 9:46AM

    That is great news, just go for it. Do all you can to eat healthy and exercise now and through out your pregnancy and you'll be fine. Most of the people who gain 50lbs, isnt just because of poor diet but they were mostly likely undernurished to begin with and for the body to be level it had to gain excess.

Hang in there and good luck!!!

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MOONSTORMER 10/15/2012 9:21AM

    very cool! enjoy every moment!

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ALLIEALLIE2 10/15/2012 8:52AM

    emoticon Awesome News Girlie!!! emoticon

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LOSE4LIFE47 10/15/2012 8:43AM

    emoticon emoticon

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The 5% Fall Challenge.

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Today is emoticon of the fall 5% challenge. I weighed in at 157, having eaten fair food for the past two days. I am so ready to get back on track!

I walked for 25 minutes this morning, so off to good start!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALLIEALLIE2 10/13/2012 12:48PM

    emoticon emoticon

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RECREATING_ME 10/8/2012 11:30AM

    Definitely a good start! Wishing you continued success as the week goes on :)

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LADYJ6942 10/8/2012 10:07AM

    Good luck on your challenge. I'm currently in two challanges. One with a goal to drop 5lbs this month and the other with a goal of dropping 19 over 3 months, we'll see what happens.

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HOPEFULHIPPO 10/6/2012 1:53PM

    Rowr! Which team are you on? I'm on the doggies, but I know we all support each other...Let's do this and ROCK this challenge!!

woof woof!

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LOOK2LOVELIFE 10/6/2012 10:15AM

    emoticon emoticon You got this girl!

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FITGRL124 10/6/2012 9:32AM




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New leaf.

Thursday, October 04, 2012

I think I have finally turned a corner: I have started exercising. This week, I have exercise 3 or 4 days for at least 20 minutes. I just went for a walk. It was glorious to watch the dark turn to dawn. I walked very briskly for me, and even did a couple minutes of jogging! emoticon I have also lifted weights for the first time in a long time yesterday and today. Just 10 lb. dumbbells. emoticon

I am going to a greenhouse today and going to buy some hardy mums to plant around my porch! I love love love fall. The air smelled so good this morning, and it was beautiful with a thin fog floating in the air, making everything seem magical.

I am going to the fair tonight and my mom is invariably going to try and get me to eat something from there. Fair food is not healthy. However, I think I am going to eat a gyro. I looked it up in the tracker and it is 600-some calories. I fit it into my plan for the day. I am not going to get the cucumber sauce to save some calories in case that calorie count was wrong. I picked the one with the highest calories, though. I know those gyros with the cucumber sauce can really pack a calorie punch! Of course the sauce is *yogurt based...and they don't use light *yogurt! I am really looking forward to going, though. I will be going with my hub and my mom and step dad.

Hope you all have a great day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESSIEJACKS76 10/30/2012 9:11PM

    Goodbjob. Everyone deserves a treat sometimes.

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JESSIEJACKS76 10/30/2012 8:55PM

    Goodbjob. Everyone deserves a treat sometimes.

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JESSIEJACKS76 10/30/2012 8:54PM

    Goodbjob. Everyone deserves a treat sometimes.

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SHRINK_U 10/5/2012 1:29PM

    Great job with the exercise.. I hope you had fun at the fair!

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MAGGIE101857 10/5/2012 7:13AM

    Hope you had fun! My weakness at the fairs is the funnel cakes - haven't been in ages so that's probably a good thing!!

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RECREATING_ME 10/5/2012 1:34AM

    emoticon with the exercise! It really does make a difference. I hope the fair was fun!

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MONAKIN314 10/4/2012 12:13PM


Love Gyro's! Especially the chicken varity.

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SCOTMAMA 10/4/2012 12:03PM

    You are moving in the right direction. Walking is basically the only exercise I get during the summer months, aside from yard work -- and it works! There is also a lot you can do with the weights.

Have lots of fun at the fair -- and think of all the walking you will get in while there!
Hugs, Eve

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WHITNEYLD 10/4/2012 11:05AM

    It is yogurt-based. Oops.

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ADARKARA 10/4/2012 10:03AM

    eww if it's mayo based I wouldn't want it either. I make my tzatziki with fat free yogurt though

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BEATLETOT 10/4/2012 8:38AM

    Wait, isn't the tzaziki yogurt-based? Maybe not at the fair, but...

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RIDLEYRIDER 10/4/2012 7:45AM

  Congrats on taking these great steps to better health!! emoticon

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AJB121299 10/4/2012 7:45AM

    great job, keep it up

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Excuses: A 5% Challenge Assignment

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Give 3 or 4 reasons and for each (reason/excuse on why my diets and exercise plans have not been well-executed in the past) write a strategy that will keep me on track for 8 weeks.

I read this on BEATLETOT's blog and decided it would behoove me to do it.

emoticon Diet emoticon
Excuse #1
"I am craving something sweet."
Strategy: Chew sugar-free gum. Buy the yummy dessert-flavored gums.

Excuse #2
"I am craving pizza/cheese sticks/pure fat."
Strategy: Eat a piece of cheese, not 10 mozzarella sticks! I am going to have to outlaw pizza entirely, because I can't eat it in moderation. The craving comes from that salt-fat phenomenon. When I eat salt and fat together, or sugar and fat together, I want more of both! It's like food crack.

Excuse #3
"We have nothing to eat that is on my diet."
Strategy: Be prepared to shop consciously at the grocery store. I need to focus on the periphery of the store, where the meats, fruits, vegetables, and *fresh* foods are.

Excuse #4
"I really want a drink."
Strategy: I need to get over this one. It is not a healthy way for me to manage stress. I have to remind myself that nothing (especially alcohol) tastes or feels as good as being at my goal weight will feel after all of this trying and starting over.

Excuse #5
"Free (insert calorie-dense snack or treat here)!"
Strategy: People at work make things all the time and bring cake and whatnot in constantly. It is almost daily that I face temptation. Just because it's free doesn't mean I should eat it.

emoticon Fitness emoticon

Excuse #1
"I'm tired and I don't feel like exercising."
Strategy: I'm committing to at least ten minutes of exercise per day. I can walk around the block (.5 miles) at least daily, and I want to make my goal to do 20-30 minutes of walking and exercise of any sort at least 5 days a week.

I use that excuse not to exercise almost daily. I have what is clinically known as "tired all the time" syndrome.

Anyway, that is the assignment and I am crediting BEATLETOT with the idea to write a blog about it. I have a lot more diet excuses than exercise excuses. I usually blow my diet before I don't exercise.

I hope you all are having a great October! I, for one, am taking charge of my life!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRI_BABE 10/3/2012 7:43AM

    Nice strategies! emoticon

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MONAKIN314 10/2/2012 1:43PM


Go emoticon !!

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RECREATING_ME 10/2/2012 10:47AM

    Nice! Outlining your obstacles and your strategies for dealing with them is an excellent way of defusing their effectiveness at tripping you up. You can do this!

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BEATLETOT 10/2/2012 10:22AM

    Aw, shucks, thanks, Whitney! But it wasn't me, it's the Challenge Leaders that make up those assignments. =)

I need to make sure I read through my excuses a lot so when I make one, I can recognize it for what it is. After posting that blog, I was good at it for a few days, but I've also been getting into the sweets and stuff more often yesterday and today.

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FITGRL124 10/2/2012 10:09AM


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