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WHITNEY0814's Recent Blog Entries

Things I love about myself

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

This week I picked the challenge to fall in love with yourself again. The idea is to write a blog everyday about things you love about yourself or things you've accomplished.

1. In the last year and a half, I have become an independent woman. I used to literally not pay my bills. I would go from job to job or even go months without working. Now I work full time, plus over time. I have paid every single bill on time and have a plan to reduce debt and get my life financially on track. I put money in a credit union savings and I'm putting money into a 401k that has investments. May not seem major but I was very very irresponsible and dumb when I was younger.

2. I have strong legs.yes I have hated them for so long but I've come to terms with them. They most likely will not get much smaller. I don't want to be ashamed of the body part that I use most. I need to be happy and thankful I have strong, beautiful, muscular legs that carry through life and get me to where I am going.

3. I have beautiful eyes. I have one blue eye one green eye--naturally. I can see everything I love with these eyes. My family. My friends. My boyfriend. The mountains. The sky. Flowers. I can do my favorite things-- read, write, cook, enjoy ..yes I know.. TV and movies.


I love myself and this week is going to remind me how strong these feelings are. More to come

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REENSKI 1/31/2014 12:47PM

    emoticon
Love to see you are doing so well-Hugs!

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LINDAKAY228 1/29/2014 9:08AM

    You are doing awesome!

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LOVINGLIFE43 1/28/2014 11:07PM

    Nice blog.

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UNICORN212 1/28/2014 10:47PM

    "I was very very irresponsible and dumb when I was younger" LOL - You are still so young Whit! This is a huge thing to learn when you are young, though! You will do very well!

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Blog 1. Blood Test Results.

Thursday, November 07, 2013

I'm not sure what to title this blog, but I want to start writing more. It's always been therapeutic. And it will track my progress! So... just warning you now!

I was debating on if I want to go over test results of a blood draw that I had a few weeks ago for work. I didn't want to because 1. I'm terrified and 2. I am disappointed and embarrassed. But thinking of all the love and support of everyone that I have from Spark, so I thought.. What the hell. Why be in the dark besides.. these are for me right?

According the results, I am close to being pre diabetic and if I stay at this weight (222 as of this morning), I have a 90% chance of 1.getting diabetes and 2. having a stroke. For those of who are not aware. I am 23. Very scary results. I need to make a change... NOW. I don't feel as if I eat a lot of sweets and I only drink like... ONE soda a week (LITERALLY!!) . My problem is carbs. We eat a lot of bread (wheat for the most part), we eat a lot of pasta, we eat a lot of potatoes. I know what I need to change. I know I need to exercise more, make better decisions. And if this doesn't get me off my ass and make me work harder then.... I am just.... pathetic. lol I don't know how else to describe it. But I seriously think I would be pathetic for letting these things happen to MY body... MY life. If I can't take care of myself and show enough love for MY WELL BEING.. Then how can I care for anyone else? How can I take care of everyone around me except the only thing that really matters. Yes family is important (hell I'd say my doggy is right up there in importance since he is family) but what good is my family if my family can't enjoy ME?

On a lighter note. Everything else in my test results were amazing. My protien was a lil on the low side, but it reached the minimum. My blood pressure was perfect, my cholesterol was perfect.
So I am very proud of myself for that.


Goals for this week: (Thurs 11/7- Thurs 11/14)
Jump rope 4x
Go hiking on Sun
Aerobic DVD 4x
Eat more freggies
Suck it up and take a before pic

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMALLERMELORIE 11/9/2013 7:35AM

    I am proud of you for posting this on your blog. That is the hardest part to admit that you need to make a change and not saving it for another day.

Carbs are hard for a lot of people, maybe start out slow. If you like spaghetti try spaghetti squash and sauce, that is what I made for dinner last night for us it was great.

Try one sandwich a week with lettuce wraps instead of bread, I didn't think I would like it but the crunch is wonderful.

You can do it Whitney, this is your warning, now do something for you!!!

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SCOTMAMA 11/8/2013 1:03PM

    You've made the first step of admitting and realizing you need to make changes. I would say if you are drinking only ONE soda per week, why not just skip it altogether as it can't be that important to you. And whatever you do drink, make sure it is not adding to your sugar/carb content.

Portion control is important too. It's surprising how little bites during the day can add up. Probably way worse than you ever meant it to.

Good Luck on your journey!
Hugs, Eve

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SGTSUNNY 11/8/2013 12:30PM

    Proud of you for posting. You can turn it around and by doing it now you can enjoy lots of healthy living! Stay with your plan. Will be looking for a future blog where you list your success! emoticon

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UNICORN212 11/7/2013 7:01PM

    Add to your list: Work on portion control & count carbs

You can have whole wheat bread, potatoes and pasta (whole wheat pasta exists, but I don't like it), but have smaller amounts. Pay attention to the serving size and allow yourself a serving. And see how it goes. Most people eat a plate of spaghetti - and eat 4 servings of pasta... I think a potato serving is 3 or 4 ounces. Many baked potatoes are 8 or 9 ounces - 2 or 3 servings! And yeah - I have the same problem with carbs!

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Need to relax

Thursday, August 15, 2013

I don't really know why, but last night during dinner my bf and I got into an argument. I had made him angry twice and I thought I was just trying to support his decision, but i had said two things that got under his skin. One we just kind of dropped but then like an hr later and I had said something again and we had gotten into an argument.

It was awkward after that.. He took me out for my bday and we didn't talk much in the car. When we got there we ordered and had more awkward silence. We left and we got into another argument. Like to the point that he said he didnt know if he wanted to be with me if this was what his life was going to be like. I didn't know what to say. He then ripped me a new one and i returned the favor. He told me that I used to be fun and now i'm a b**** or i'm b****y all the time and he feels like nothing he does is good enough.. and i'm too stressed out or worried, or i struggle to joke around. Don't get me wrong he was a complete jerk last night.. but i laid into him too .. but what he said made me think..

Why can't i just enjoy life? He's right, i do get super duper stressed out... i never know what to say to him... i do have a hard time joking around and being fun...

I don't know how to not be a bitch like i was before.. I do think i have changed :( i want to go back to the way i was before i lose the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWFLABULESS 8/16/2013 2:48PM

    Relationships are hard. It's give and take on both sides CONSTANTLY! You two have to decide what is more important - working on being together or working on being apart. Either decision is work. I'm sure you can be a B*&^%$ sometimes but I'm sure he cas be an A$$ sometimes, too. Not everyone is perfect all of the time. It's when you feel stressed and out of control that he needs to recognize that what you really is support and friendship - not someone to point out all your faults. I would suggest making a list of pros and cons, sitting down and decide what outweighs the other. If you are truly meant to be together, you will work through this and become closer than ever. Hang in there....

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UNICORN212 8/15/2013 11:12PM

    You might try asking yourself "is this a deal breaker" and "will this matter in 5 years" when something makes you mad or stresses you out. They say that 80% of the things we worry about never happen. Try to pick your battles - not everything is worth the argument. These are things you learn as you get older and life knocks you around....

Maybe you can have a heart to heart with yourself and pinpoint what is making you feel this way...and either find a way to deal with it or fix whatever it is.

OK - I'll take the "MOM" hat off now... :)


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SGTSUNNY 8/15/2013 2:47PM

    I struggle with the same issues, it is like I take things too seriously. But at the same time you need to be you and don't want to tiptoe around trying to be different to please him. The best advice I can give is to try to talk it out with him and explain your feelings and stress level! Best of luck! Hugs!

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LINDAKAY228 8/15/2013 12:17PM

    Hope you can take some deep breaths, relax, make up, and feel better soon.

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Take 3... maybe 4? I lost count..

Thursday, June 13, 2013

I've seriously lost count on how many times i've given up and restarted... And said that this time I was going to do it.. I'm so sick of the failure and the embarrassment. I signed in today and say that my goal a few months ago was to be 180 pounds by July 18. And here it is June 13, and I'm five pounds heavier than what I was.
Rather than getting upset and making up reasons to why I haven't been even attempting. I'm just going to move on.

I need to start with small goals.. so the goals I chose are:
1. More water/no(less) soda [after I finish this coke zero]
2. I work in a call center which means I sit on my butt, so I wanna take a walk every day.
3. Tomorrow I'm going grocery shopping. Vegetables and fruits here I come!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMBER281 6/23/2013 6:29PM

    You can do it!
The important thing is that you got back up and tried again!

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LINDAKAY228 6/14/2013 8:34AM

    Fall down 7 times, get up 8. I've started over, or picked up the pieces to get back on track, more times than I can count. But the important thing is that we keep getting back up and working on ourselves again. In my past, I would give up for years at a time. I don't give up entirely now, but I don't work as consistently as I should at times, especially with food. But the periods when I slack off are overall shorter and I feel hope rather than the hopelessness I felt in the past. You're doing the right thing by coming back. It's kept me sane so many times, even when I wasn't doing well. So glad to hear from you!

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SGTSUNNY 6/13/2013 11:22PM

    You are getting some excellent advice. And I have to agree with it all especially : never give up! I have a feeling this time it will 'take' and you will be losing weight and working out. emoticon

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RABBITART 6/13/2013 11:20PM

    Moving on from the past is a good start and sometimes just making small goals is better than making one big goal. You can do this.

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CONFUZZELD 6/13/2013 10:45PM

    Way to keep your head up!! I could currently sign my name to the bottom of that post!! Let's keep each other motivated!! You can do this!!!


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UNICORN212 6/13/2013 10:43PM

    At least you are not giving up! There is no failure as long as you keep trying.

Welcome back! A new challenge is starting if you wanted to jump in!

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PRETTYPITHY 6/13/2013 10:40PM

    Awesome for you for taking control. Grocery shopping is going to give you a great start. Also rid the house of the old, not-so good stuff you may have on hand!

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JO88BAKO 6/13/2013 10:30PM

    Good for you! NEVER NEVER NEVER give up. Can't begin to count how many times I've started over. You can do it. One day at a time, one good choice at a time. You have a good plan!

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So unbelievably happy.

Monday, September 24, 2012

And no it isn't just because of Dylan (new boy toy/bf whichever lol) I've realized a lot about myself since my ex has been gone. He text me today the first time in a few weeks. Last time I let him tell me what he wanted. He called me names, said things about my family, said things about our two year relationship. And today... finally I told him how I felt. I wish I could have been meaner just to get even with everything that he has ever said to me. But I couldn't stoop to his level. So this is what I said as my closure:
(he told me he would leave me be so I said)
'Okay but just know I'll never forgive you.. And I'll never take you back... And I'll never love you again. I wasn't perfect but I tried so hard to make you happy and now that I'm happy I've realized how insecure you've made me.. And how stupid I was for taking everything you ever said.. I don't regret being with you but I think I'm stupid for letting it go on for so long... You were an a$$hole.. You hurt me constantly... I'm not mad at you but please, don't text me again...' and Dylan helped me block him on a feature I got through AT&T right away so I have no idea if he tried to reply.
He was very verbally abusive and there are a lot of things that people don't know about our relationship. But I've told Dylan and my best friend.. and getting everything off my chest has been very therapeutic.. anyway.
I know how he works. After he sent me all those messages, he stopped talking to me for a few weeks, well I thought I had blocked him but I put the wrong number. So today he apologized, he thought I would accept his apology then work towards taking him back even though he tried to tell me he is back in NE. Lies. All lies. And I turned him down.. and stood my ground. Such an incredible feeling..
And to know that I've been hanging out with the sweetest guy ever..(so far ha knock on wood!!)
Plus getting a FULL TIME job. Plus BENEFITS that start in Dec. Plus saving for a CAR in a few months! Plus FINALLY LOSING WEIGHT. Oh goodness. It is simply amazing. I can't explain my feelings. I catch myself smiling all the freaking time!

Time to keep the progress moving!! FULL SPEED AHEAD!!

I AM going to get in 20 minutes worth of step ups in every day, as well as take a walk since I'm working in a call center. I am also planning on doing ST mon/wed/fri.
Non-negotiable :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMBER281 10/1/2012 10:41AM

    I am so happy for you!!
You deserve to be happy. You are an amazing person and don't let anyone tell you anything different!


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NORWOODGIRL 9/24/2012 5:21PM

    Up, up, up - with your morale, with your self-confidence, with your life! emoticon


Down, down, down with all the negatives in your life - like your ex. emoticon

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LINDAKAY228 9/24/2012 10:17AM

    Good for you! I stayed in a marriage for 16 years to a man who was verbally abusive before I finally left him a number of years ago. I changed so much after I got out of the relationship and found out more about who I really was. We don't need that! Glad you've got someone now who treats you well. Congratulations also on all the wonderful other things happening in your life!

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TIME4TRACY 9/24/2012 3:39AM

    Good for you. I had such a guy who treated me like dirt and then left me via text. But you know what? When the hurt heals you realize you are BETTER off without them. Good for you. emoticon

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