Sunday, February 10, 2013
A couple things - first, hello again after a long absence! I am mainly on PEERTrainer these days, but I'll be checking in here occasionally too.
Second, I've finally started actually losing weight! First I gained some - was up in the mid 180s and not feeling well. But since starting to log all my food and measure my weight every day, I've gotten down about 10lbs - lowest was 171.0 a couple days ago. I am excited about this success!! :)
Third, I am quite discouraged though in the past few days - I was sick 3 times in as many months, and when I am sick, all bets are off! It is my Achilles heel of weight loss. When I feel like crap, I just don't care about anything except trying to feel better NOW. (Result: I eat whatever crap my body craves, to soothe myself and also in the hopes that indulging might heal me faster!)
So despite the recent BIG successes (10lbs in about a month is amazing for me!!) - all I can see is how AWFUL I feel, and how I will do anything to make the AWFUL go away! How do I handle this??
The only thing I can think of, is to realize that for now, I will feel like sh*t no matter what!!! Comfort foods don't help. So at least I can eat healthy foods while feeling like sh*t - that way the damage might not be so bad, once the illness finally passes.
Saturday, April 07, 2012
...but so is sitting on the couch at home. Let's go!
Thursday, April 05, 2012
Be warned, this one's kind of a downer.
I like to use my blog to record A-ha moments and lessons that I am learning. I wish I could say that all of my posts were positive and inspirational. But sometimes the best that can be said about them is that they're honest.
In the past few days, I've seen myself losing motivation and falling off the wagon. I could chock it up to many things, but ultimately, it is not "why" you did it, but "what" you did that matters. Even a good excuse is still an excuse. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
I also started to see evidence of self-doubt. I had made a nice, motivational list of rewards for reaching certain small goal weights. Well I reached the first one, but I have not cashed in on the reward yet. It's as though I don't trust myself to maintain the loss. Hopefully with continued effort and progress, I will trust myself more and this hesitation will start to go away.
Time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and.... I don't like to see it as "starting all over again", so I'll say "continue where I left off". :)
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Woke up, bad mood, tempted to skip the gym out of laziness, tempted to PURPOSELY skip the gym out of spite.
Got dressed anyway, instructed feet to start walking.
At yoga class, asked myself, This is hard, can I give up now? Small voice said, No, don't give up, make me stronger. Did not give up.
Just did it.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
I tried a new cardio class the other day, and observed two friends having a conversation. The one friend didn't really seem into the class, but the other one really seemed to love it. At the end of the hour, eager friend was dripping in sweat, while hesitant friend looked more or less dry and NOT having just come from the gym. The eager friend asked the hesitant friend how she had liked the class. Hesitant replied, "Well it's okay, but I didn't get a good workout, because I don't really like this teacher's style." Eager replied, "Yeah, I know, I don't really like her style, either."
So it turned out that they both felt the same way about the class, yet got very different results. The sweaty girl, who had been working out with such gusto, did it NOT because she loved the teacher, or she loved the routine. She did it because she loved exercise, I guess, so she found a way to make it work for her. I think that's a pretty cool attitude. I can cross "don't like the teacher" or "don't like the class" off my list of excuses.
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