WHITELILLY225  
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A word with you Please

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I spent of alot of time thinking lately about what God's plans might be for me. I am but one small part of this world and yet I play a large part of some kind I know that he has bigger plans for me. Isn't this world full of the idea that more is better bigger toys bigger houses more food for your money. More More More and haven't we sold ourselfves to this idea of more so that we are always wanting more, more out of life more out of a partner, more out of our kids more everything. Well I think that we have been sold a bill of goods. When all we really need is just to be happy and work with what we have some of us feel we were cheated because someone else got the long legs and the abilty to to walk with grace and seem to be looked at by everyone in the room. And we look into our mirrors and see something very different then what God gave us. We tell ourselfves that we are less because we are not those things and yet we don't work with what we were given we do not see that when we look at ourselves we want more more of this more that alittle less here alittle less there But we never really see who we are, So when someone asks us who we are or what best things do we have to offer we don't really see what is inside but what is on the outside. If someone ask you today what makes you different what would you say? You really don't know do you what to say if someone offering you a job would say why should we hire you over someone else what would you say? And yet when someone says name all the things wrong with you isn't that easier don't you start ticking off all the bad things about you. I just think if more of us spent more time on who our hearts leads us to be we would find that we are all winners we all of the abilty to be more then we are, We all have the drive to push harder to get out and do what we know has to be done God gives you the abilty to stand up strong speak out show what you are made of you can do anything you set your mind to do even if it looks as if there are mountains to climb that you don't think you have the ablity to climb when times like those come let the power of his word be strong in your heart let him God of your heart take over and you can reach the top of the highest mountain. And when you get there you can look back and say I did that I really did that all on my own it was inside of me all along. I never thought when I started sparks that I would ever weigh under 200 pounds again and now I there so I know it can be done. So in good times or bad push through remember God is just waiting for you to show up on the other side. Be all you can be and if you don't feel like doing it do it anyway it feels even better when you do it and don't really want to. I am saying to myself beging today there is no montain high enough to stop me I will be on top I will be healthy and I will love myself along the way. Change is never easy it takes growth and growing is hard change is even harder. But you can do it! emoticon

  


Like waves on the sea

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I am in a boat just me the sea is rough today I'm having trouble getting control of the boat it seems to roll with every wave of the sea I feel sick so I lean over can't be sick try to ride it out. I know the tides will turn the storm that I feel down to my very soul will change once I get over the rough part. Many times I have rode in this boat in the sea I think I have it inside of me to make it to shore, I don't know for sure feeling weak and tired I don't think people really know just how rough the sea of life really is just when you think you have mastered it the tides change. I need to run I need to scream I need to get away I need to find my safe harbor before this boat turns over. I can't find the harbor I can't find that safe place they say is home where is it every place I run to who am I running from what am I running from what am I running to, why can't I see the safe place the peace of the Blessed God his arms where are they I need them wrap them around me give me peace oh my Father tell me what a good child I am. No don't leave me Father I need you now my soul needs you. To me says the Father lead this boat to the safe harbor but Father I can't not without you don't leave me Father. No child I have not left you it is you who have left me now lead the boat to the harbor, There I take my ores and I lead that boat to safe water and to the Blessed peace that I know waits for me and once again I am safe in my Father's arms.

  


When I started sparks I wasn't sure

Friday, February 19, 2010

When I first started coming to sparks I wasn't sure about the program I mean I thought it might work but I just did not know if I could do the work. I never really sat any goal just in case I fell off the wagon as it were because I have done that before. Set to high of goal I could not reach them that is why I told myself this time I would not do that, I told myself weight lost was my main goal and if I could do that then I would set other goals later. Small steps at a time so that was what yesterday was about for me. I know now if I lose the weight that some of what is wrong with my body will become better blood pressure and sugar and those kinds of thing. And that is the whole idea in a nut shell for me. Today 11 days since I joined and I have lose seven pounds I am now under 200 pounds for the first time in a year or more. My advice to myself and other is this take care of today and let tomarrow take care of it's self. Don't set your goal so high you can not reach them. For anyone who reads my blog today just trust and work the plan and you will get what you put in, and your life will change. Hang in there and I'll be see you on the flip side. emoticon

  


Today is just set aside for me.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I have thought about how I wanted to spend this day! So here it is I am taking this day to myself I have been very good about coming to sparks everday and I have began to into many groups where the people are wonderfull everyone of them. Right now however I am not only dealing with one thing I have bi-polar/depression and mania, RA which is a very disabling problem as it is the worst kind of artho. that one can suffer from there isn't just joint pain it can cause orgen damage as well lungs heart and a whole group of other things. High cholesterol we all know what that is High blood pressure and we know what that causes. Low thyroid and High sugar. The way I have coped with these things is to joke about them it was easier then facing them. But since joining sparks and getting to know people here I am coming to terms with those problems. All the odds are stacked to where i won't lost weight at a very fast pace if at all. That is where sparks comes in I came to learn to lead a healther life as you can see I need this but sometimes I just feel overloaded. That is where today comes in I took this day to look up some of my disorders and learn about meds which I have not done since I got sick back in the earily 90's I will track my food today and I may or may take a walk to the libaray. We will see just what I can handle today. I do want to work on myself because giving up is just not something I can do, where there is a will there is way. Don't know who ever said that but it is the truth. I have the will I know sparks and all it's people are the way but now I just have to make it fit me and then just jump in and do it. Today is a free day for me to set some goals make some plans get to know the sparks web better and get my house in order. So for all of you who might or might not read this page I wish you luck and ask that God wrap you in his loving arms to find Peace. It is there and that too is my quest. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCYLEE46 2/18/2010 11:09AM

    You are right on track my friend
Must keep you first
I can get so wrapped up in being leaders of 3 teams - I forget about me and if we are not filled, we have nothing to give.
You have been a great example and a blessing to me.
I know GOD sent you here.
Nancy

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Felt in a fog

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Today has been one of those days I feel as if I am in a fog and I can not find my way out I feel sick to my stomach and just not feeling like myself. I made myself go work out this AM got through it full 30 mins. tracked my food ate pretty well took a nap about one to about two fourty five or so still felt tired wanted to sleep more made myself go to pick up my son at school. Went through e-mail returned messages but it all seemed as if it was somebody else doing these things. I was forgetfull all day kept having to go redo things that I had already done. It was like I almost had this manic stage and I just woke up from it like I could not get myself together at all. Alittle worried about that I am on new meds and I wonder if they are have an ill effect on my body. Well I see my Doctor next tuesday so I will go over all this with him maybe we can shead some light on what might be going on. Well I am going to let this go because I don't understand it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCYLEE46 2/18/2010 9:13AM

    We do have days like this my friend
It takes time for the medication to work and our body time to adjust.
I am glad you persevered.
You are a true inspiration to me

Nancy

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