WHATIF4   1,150
1,000-2,499 SparkPoints
WHATIF4's Recent Blog Entries

disaster again

Friday, October 12, 2012

last night was a disaster. i hurt my arm trying to do push ups. lots of pain. stress at work. stress with son. result in mcdonalds for dinner. then veggie dhips with dip. then big bowl of honey nut cheerios with whole milk. very little sleep. try try again. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUE42DOWN 10/12/2012 4:41PM


Definitely try try again. Our roads are not flat and smooth and paved. We will trip and stumble. We will go down dead-ends and fall off the wagon. Our success isn't measured in those, however. Success is measured in whether we get back up, get back on track, and keep going.


Report Inappropriate Comment
AMANDA-CA 10/12/2012 3:41PM

    No worries. That was yesterday so leave it behind you. Keep your head up!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLUNDQUIS 10/12/2012 3:20PM

    Just get back on track today and try to learn from your night, that way it's a step toward success and not failure.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Feeling Better

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Woke up this morning and was grateful that I did not over eat. I went to sleep without eating. My son woke up a couple of times and I still didn't eat. I feel grateful that I didn't have to suffer through it too. I didn't have a strong desire to eat and I didn't have hunger or cravings. What was different about last night? I even watched Survivor, which is usually a trigger, watching hungry people get food rewards and enjoying it so much. What I did differently yesterday is I kept working toward my goal. I went for a walk and played with my son at the park even though I was in pain. I tracked my food. I tracked my calories before I ate dinner so that I knew how much I would go over if I ate. I ate more during the day so that I wasn't hungry at night. Today I will eat the food on the food plan, track my food , put my son in the stroller and go for a 30 minute walk. Download some new music to keep me motivated. Oh yes that is another thing I have been doing is listening to music. I haven't been listening to songs that really move me since my husband left me. But I have been listening to our old love songs and allowing myself to feel some of the feelings I used to feel for him. Then allowing myself to feel sad that he is not with me. Then feel a new kind of love for him. A love that is unconditional and forgives and appreciates who he is as a man and my sons father. I am putting aside the anger I feel toward him. It serves no purpose. I want to model for my son how to accept Daddy the way he is and recognize the flaws but not let that get in the way of feeling love for him. To my son Daddy is a super hero. That is how it should be. As my son gets older and sees Daddy is human and has flaws he will need to know how to forgive and love his Dad.
Wow, I started writing this about food and the difficulty I have with night cravings and then it turned into a blog about forgiving my husband. The food and cravings are just the symptom of burried difficult feelings.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MADDIEMOM27 10/11/2012 7:33PM

    You can do it!!! Just take it one day at a time!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Feeling doubtful

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

I am wondering if I can do this. Why do I have such a strong desire to eat? I am feeling really hungry and not the least bit sleepy. Last night I only got an hour of sleep. As soon as I finally fell asleep my son woke up (with the sun). If I don't do this now then when will I ever do it. I have tried so many things. Most of them work, like counting calories, writing what I eat, exercising, banning TV, doing yoga and meditation. I have lost weight doing all of these things, but I always fall back into the habit of using food to fall asleep. I am great all day, but when I try to sleep I go crazy. I have white knuckled it and made it through a few nights, but then something stressful happens and I allow myself to eat and watch tv. I have tried hypnosis, tiring myself out, sleep music, sleeping pills (those only gave me night eating and munchies). Still the best thing I always want to do is turn on mindless tv and eat. I have tried saving calories for this specific reason, but that doesn't last long. Before I know it I am adding a little more cereal, then whole milk instead of fat free, then graduating to cookies and milk, just a few, but then that turns into whole packages. I keep trying. Every few months I start fresh and give it a go. That is where I am tonight. I am hoping that SP will be the thing that makes me stick to my plan. As I am typing there is such a strong voice and desire to go eat. This is awful. I am tired of fighting . I want to eat.....I am going to.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOHGLO2011 10/2/2012 9:11AM

    My best advice to you is to talk to yourself as you would to a good friend who needs encouraging. It is hard - I've been off and on diets my entire life. Somehow this time is different - I think it is because I talk to myself in a positive manner every day. The spoken word is very powerful, so put it to good use by talking to yourself right! Focus on the positive instead of the negative - do your best and good things will happen. Enjoy the journey! :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUDYAMK 10/2/2012 8:12AM

    In your first few words on your blog you are already doubting your self emoticon TODAY you are starting fresh forget all about the yesterdays & about all the tomorrows to come it is TODAY you are working on, the before & afters always get us we think oh well I never made it before why try so hard. emoticon
one day at a time. We are all in this together, & we are all hear to encourage each other someone from all over the world is on this Spark any time day or night just post & start blogging reach out & someone will be there to encourage you on. I know you can do this throw that word doubt out of your vocabulary & say I can do this!!!! Take care & keep blogging to help & motivate the rest of us!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOSIN_IT4GOOD 10/2/2012 2:25AM

    I hope by looking around spark, and finding others with the same struggles, you will be able to find some new ideas that can help. I work 3rd shift...so I know how important sleeping is!I wish I had some miracle words of wisdom for you...but all I can offer is to take things a step at a time and seek out help wherever you can. Good luck and keep searching until you find what does work for you.

Report Inappropriate Comment