WENWASHING67   16,291
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Frustrated

Monday, January 07, 2013

I want my son's baby pictures.

They are all on my ex-husband's computer and he refuses to burn them for me. I am "not a priority" . He won't talk to me unless it's about our son. I have been really reasonable and respectful towards him and I am constantly treated like crap. I'm so tired of the games and this whole situation. There is no way I can "make" him give me the photos and that makes me feel very frustrated and powerless. I feel like he gets to call all of the shots and I just have to sit here and take it. If I push the situation I get nowhere, he just freezes me out. We are raising a son together and we need to communicate but he absolutely refuses. With the way he acts, you'd think I was the one who left. I just don't know what to do or how to handle him.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SVELTENSASSY 1/24/2013 10:01PM

    Take a deep breath . . . then take some new pictures of your son. Baby pictures can never be replaced by something new, but what if you never get them? The frustration and anger will be like poison to your soul. I like what HK 1628 said, "Take the high road so you never get lost". May I add what I've said about the "high road" when life forced me up there? "I may be on the high road, but the air is getting pretty thin!" Meaning I've had about all I can take, but I'll keep at it.

You told me, "You can do it . . . I just know you can".

I know YOU can. emoticon

Patience.

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DRAGONFLYGALS 1/8/2013 11:27PM

    I am sorry he is behaving that way, I understand and have been where you are, it sucks super bad. divorce you seem to waste away or blow up. I hope things work out.

Also I love your pic.

Comment edited on: 1/8/2013 11:28:35 PM

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HK1628 1/7/2013 10:41AM

  the only person you can control is you. Unfortunate that he is behaving that way, but always take the high road so you never get lost :)

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New week

Monday, November 05, 2012

Well, it's another week into my Spark experience. I've been doing this steadily since early August and I have to say, there are times when I get so tired of the routine. I am losing the weight, want to KEEP losing the weight but sometimes, I just get so tired with measuring and planning everything out in advance. I do it because I want to be successful but there are times when I think "What's the point?". I guess everybody feels that way every once in a while. This past weekend I didn't track. I didn't really eat anything I shouldn't eat...didn't even try, just didn't feel like tracking so I chose not to. That's the first time in a long time I've felt like that or even DONE that. Now I'm back on track for the week, just wish it wasn't such a chore.

Sometimes I hate thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner. And there are some days when I get home that I don't even feel like cooking. I have my son with me every other week and cooking when he's there isn't a problem but when he's at his dad's, that's another story. I hate having to deal with all of the leftovers.

I need to turn this bad attitude around and get out of my "diet funk". I'm not usually this negative but I guess everyone's entitled every now and then as long as it doesn't become a habit. It's just, how do I get out of it? What do I need to do? Any suggestions?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SVELTENSASSY 11/8/2012 11:47AM

    First of all, I want to tell you what a special person you are. I've noticed the spark goodies you've been sending to encourage other people . . . including me.

Secondly, I understand not logging your food. I'd been so busy during the day . . . and getting home later in the evening that when I went in after a few days to plug in my meals it was overwhelming. So I said, "What the heck!" and just let the past go and started fresh today. I decided that if it became a burden, then it would just bog me down and discourage me, making it too easy to quit. Just can't do that.

Thirdly, meals. I was just thinking about coming up with a few simple meals to add into my Groupings. Melas that I could do easily by keeping things on hand. Then I could just come home, pick one of the groups, plug it in and go make it. Or vice versa.

Like you said to me, "You can do it . . . I just know you can!"

emoticon

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No sleep...AGAIN!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I wish I could turn my brain off at night. This is the second night in a row that I could not fall asleep. The night before last I went to bed at 9:30 and didn't actually fall asleep until around 11. Last night was worse...went to bed at my normal 9:30, the last time I looked at the clock it was 1am! I have tried reading, journaling...nothing helps. I have too many things on my mind and just can't shut it off. I really wanted to work out this morning but ended up missing my alarm when it first went off so didn't have time. Maybe tonight when I get home? We'll see how tired I am. Maybe working out would make me tired enough to fall asleep? I sure hope so!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEWELMAKER1 10/30/2012 1:16PM

    Have you cut down on your caffine? It helps a little. Sometimes nothing helps.

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DABLUECAT 10/30/2012 9:38AM

    I've had to get something from my doctor to tone down my anxiety just so I could stop the whirling mind at night. It just got too much for me. I hope you find rest soon. It's so important for our health. emoticon

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YOGAWITCH 10/30/2012 9:33AM

    If it continue get help from a doctor, I've been doing the insomnia thing a long time.

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My Goals

Thursday, October 25, 2012

So I just saw a video that told me I should write down my goals for better success at reaching them. Here goes:

1. I want to lose weight to be healthier and to look better
2. I want to sleep better at night. Currently I get a minimum of 8 hours of sleep but they are not always uninterrupted. Most nights I wake up in the middle of the night. I think exercising will help with that.
3. I want to eat healthier. I have been doing a good job with that...measuring my food, tracking it and making good, healthy meals.
4. I want to exercise more. This one is my biggest goal because up until recently, I have hated to workout. I have found some really fun things to do though so I'm encouraged that this will be easier to accomplish now.
5. I know this is not necessarily a "healthy" goal but it's a goal nonetheless...I want to look thin and great so that I can show my ex-husband that I look better than his current wife...my former "best friend". Like I said, not necessarily a "healthy" goal and it's really "in your face", but it's how I feel and it's something I want.

I think these are all obtainable goals and I am pretty excited to fulfill them. Once they are accomplished I know I'll have to think of more but this is a good start for now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPECIFICITY 10/25/2012 2:13PM

    If it makes you feel good about you it's healthy for your mind so go for it on #5. I have a kind of "weight loss bucket list" on one of my blogs and I won't lie, as much as I want to feel good about myself and be healthier for my family, I most definitely want to look sexy, to be able to flaunt my thinner self in front of people and say, "Yeah, this is me, don't I look GOOOOOD?" -laughs- And the work I'm putting into changing my body, hell if I don't deserve to feel that way. -laughs- And I don't mean it in a mean spirited way where I'd actually SAY that but just in my head talking.

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LOOKINGUP2012 10/25/2012 2:06PM

    Loved your blog - hope you tell us more about your exercise. emoticon

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TORAMPAUL 10/25/2012 1:48PM

    #5 made me laugh. It's just so "real"! Although I don't normally condone jealous, vengeful attitudes, you gotta find your motivation!!

Re: #4 -- Would you be willing to share with me (on my SparkPage) your new, fun ways of exercising? I, too, hate to exercise, and am having a hard time coming up with new ways to keep it interesting.

Thanks!! emoticon

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