A Shred of Much Needed Light

Thursday, July 28, 2011

A couple of days ago I picked up my journal and wrote out all my frustrations with my lack of real effort...pretty much all my failures. I am notorious for creating challenges (100 day challenge, 12 week challenge, blah, blah) but not even completing a full day. I proceeded to make an attempt at moving forward and promising myself the next day would be totally on-track... Fail.

Yesterday I was so down with myself about it. I was trying to analyze (as I know we all do) why, why, why do I do this to myself? Why can't I even go one freaking day without messing it up? Why do I have to keep changing my start weight because the scale keeps going up and not down? Ugh...it was depressing.

But then my spirits lifted a bit - a little light (or spark, ha, ha) in the dark clouds that were over me yesterday. I filled up a baggie with crushed ice and started icing my shins - oh, yay, right? Shin splints in only the 2nd week of C25K (I was running 4 miles back in February before an injury). But then I realized I was secretly a little happy or proud maybe, that I NEEDED to ice my shins. I have actually been working out with CONSISTENCY this week! Three days in a row and today will be four. It's something, and I REALLY need something right now to keep me positive and to keep me TRYING. I won't give up. Maybe today will be the day when I get my food act together.

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Reset Button, Please!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

I have always hoped that one day I will get to a point where I don't have to "start over" again. I wish when I messed up I would just be able to put it aside and move onto healthier eating again. But alas, that day is not today.... So I am hitting the reset button!

My previous blog posted some pretty major goals, and I think the comments were right as far as I had a LOT up there to follow. So instead of a 12 week challenge I'm focusing on the first 30 days. I weighed myself and I am not stepping on the scale for 30 days - my husband is putting it in his car so I can't cheat! However, I did reserve the right to sneak a peek after two weeks if I have been doing well! (Trust me, going just a week without the scale is MAJOR for me!) I'm tracking my food and setting my exercise goals. I am SO excited to get back into running again! I am starting the C25K program over... I had worked myself up to 4 miles at the end of winter while I was training for a half marathon, but I screwed up my leg because I was running in old shoes:( Won't make that mistake again!

I am so excited to get back to feeling better and PROUD of myself. I miss that feeling of accomplishment. I can't wait to see how much better I feel in the next few days...

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My 12 week Challenge!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hey everyone! In order to get refocused and actually stay on track for more than a few days at a time, I've created a 12 week challenge for myself. Today is the official start day!

My 12 week challenge includes the following:

* Food Journal everyday

* 80+ ounces of water

* Cardio 5-6 days per week

* Strength training 3-4 days per week

* Stay within calorie range

* Burn 500+ calories per day

* Plan ahead for eating out

* Visit Sparkspeople daily

* 110+ grams of protein

I'm hoping this challenge will help me stay focused and motivated. I have a little vacation planned at the end of these 12 weeks, and although this is not the main reason for the 12 week challenge, it will be a huge motivator!

I've been so guilty of the whole ugly cycle of doing well for a couple days, blowing it, then just giving up after one bad meal....it has turned into two weeks of poor choices and I'm so sick of the depressing feeling that comes along with the guilt. This challenge is going to be my weapon!

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