WENDYJM4   170,976
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update on my last blog.

Saturday, May 04, 2013

When I just reread my last blog, I think my brain was scattered and this one might be the same. I hope not.

Should have said that my Nephrologist has made arrangements for me to see a surgeon on Thursday to have a operation in near future to raise the fistula that I had done 13 months ago.

As you all know all I wanted and had planned my life around not going on dialysis. I did fight a long hard battle and until this I know I was winning. Wanted to lose the weight so I could get a chance to go on the kidney transplant list. All I needed was another 2 years cancer free. I was told that for the best chance you needed to be under 60 to make this list, that probably will not happen now. I actually only had 22 months to go to make said list.

Another thing I was going to do, I have been under the Obesity Clinic for 2 1/2 years to have a gastric bypass at a public hospital. I was on the 1 year waiting list, the year is up at the end of next month. It is only in the last month that I got excited about this course of action. Probably another thing I cannot do now. The reason I made the decision to take this action was solely to make the transplant list and to keep me off of dialysis. I am so slow losing my weight and I told that I needed to lose another 40 kgs to make this list and I felt I was running out of time.

I have been through cancer before both times I was lucky and did not have to have chemo. I time was about 14 or 15 years ago when I had a complete hysterectomy. Then just over 3 years ago I had kidney cancer and they did a partial nephrectomy. This was when I went from Stage 3 (moderate kidney disease) to Stage 5 (end stage) and I have been fighting this ever since. I had been sitting on 28 or 29 creatinine level and went down to 14. This is the Australia levels.

I honestly believe the doctor's know, my own doctor made the comment that he was devastated when he got the report, then mentioned that he feels gutted because of all I have been through in the last few years and also somewhere in this he had said it is not good news. He also had tears in his eyes as he was telling me.

Then with what the said Nephrologist in my last blog.

Yes I need answers but I think it is all heading in the same direction with whatever is in my kidney, as I said in my last blog this was not there last July and now it is 21mm round or nearly 1 inch round and in the middle of my kidney. At least last time it was on the top so they could just take a bit of kidney. I think the end result will be dialysis, the one thing I said I would never do. But I have no other options.

Now I guess I make a new phase of my life and stop thinking about the past and what I have been trying to win. That has probably gone.

Now I need to get on with the rest of my life whatever that may be. I have been awake for hours, not sleeping very well but talking about this on here has cleared my mind and it has helped so much. I really don't like talking to my family as I want to protect them. Yes I know I shouldn't but that is the way I am which I think I have proven many times on here. I have got a niece that I do talk to, we have been through so much together. She is so supportive and I have one friend that I can talk to.

Wow 7 am, I think I will go back to bed. LOL.

Thank you all again for your support.

cheers
Wendy


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1BEACHWALKER 5/8/2013 12:18AM

    So sorry Wendy things are not looking well for you, but have faith that the Dr's. will give you the best care possible. Keep doing what you have been doing-stay positive and get plenty of rest. And be active when you can.
We are here for you. emoticon emoticon

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HAVETOGETITOFF 5/5/2013 8:33PM

    First of all, you need sleep. Do you remember being told when you were young and upset about something that 'it will seem better after a good sleep'? It does, promise you. What you have to deal with is a huge load for anyone to handle, but at least you have a few people in your life you are able to talk openly with about your worries and concerns. Just remember that, apart from the kidney problem, you are a lighter, healthier woman than you were a few years ago, and that definitely helps when facing a big health concern. You have the love and support and the prayers of so many of us here on Spark People, and that too has to have a positive effect in some way.
Keep eating as you have been, keep up with whatever you are able to do as regards exercise, and you will be doing the best you can to help your body to cope with what's to come. Most important of all though - sleep. Sleep not only allows you to get all those random thoughts, questions and worries in perspective, but it is such an aid to healing our bodies as well
Take good care of yourself Wendy, put yourself at the top of the 'to do' list for at least a few hours every day.
Love, prayers, and good wishes,
Chris. xx emoticon

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TOTHEFUTURE1 5/5/2013 8:53AM

    emoticon I know being positive isn't easy but do try

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EFFIEANNIE 5/5/2013 7:32AM

    Wendy,
So sorry to hear about all this. Take it one day at a time and have faith. People lead a fairly normal life on dialysis. Keep us informed. I will be thinking of you.
emoticon

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POPSY190 5/5/2013 6:10AM

    So very sorry you have such a lot to come to terms with. I'm glad you do have some people you can talk to as well as your SP to support you as best we can. emoticon

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ARTJAC 5/5/2013 2:23AM

    emoticon emoticon

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APED7969 5/5/2013 1:42AM

    I'm sorry to hear you got such bad news. I hope you are getting lots of support and good care from your doctors and of course support from everyone on spark. Every kg you lose can only help you fight this. Sending positive thoughts and prayers.

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PHEBESS 5/5/2013 1:35AM

    Wow - I'm not sure I understand all the medicine of your situation, but I hope there are some things you and the doctors can do that help you with your condition - at least to buy you another 10-15 years. Or more.

Big hugs!!! And someone is always here!

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CLAIRE_LEFT_SP 5/4/2013 9:35PM

    I admit I was confused when I read it but could definitely tell you were very distressed about bad kidney news. I am so sorry it has come to this.

HOWEVER! This is no reason to stop working on your weight and other proactive things! Every kg off improves your situation. You are so strong and you must be feeling so tired and disconsolate. Have a well deserved pity party for a couple days and then get back to readying yourself for surgery.

I'm so glad you have someone to talk to face to face. We just can't really give you everything you need as much as we'd like to. Virtual hugs aren't the same.

We love you, Wendy. Your grandies need you.

FIGHT! fight! Fight! FIGHT!

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MOTLEM 5/4/2013 9:12PM

    I am sure you will get the best of physical care, Wendy.
Mental care .. well, that's what friends are for, eh!
Always here for you, girlfriend.

emoticon emoticon

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RDEE22 5/4/2013 8:45PM

    We are all thinking of you Wendy. I'm glad blogging helps. We are all there to listen. emoticon emoticon

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FELINEBETTER 5/4/2013 8:25PM

    OK Girl -- Get yourself to bed and get some rest. Things always look a little better when you've got some sleep under your belt! I'm happy to be a part of this wonderful support network called Spark. No need for thanks -- just keep looking after our friend Wendy!

emoticon emoticon

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GOANNA2 5/4/2013 8:08PM

    My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you Wendy.
I hope you can get some rest and a good sleep even
though it's daylight.

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SUSIEPH1 5/4/2013 7:21PM

    Wendy darling, know that we are with you 100 percent.
You know where to find me if you need to talk .
I know the prognoses is not good,but we must look to to future.
I am sure your doctor and specialists will do their very best to help you.
You have already been through so much,and I know this is not going to be easy.

You are a strong,wonderful caring woman my darling and I know you will fight this ..
All,my love . Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 5/4/2013 6:26PM

    Oh my gosh Wendy, I have read both your blogs and there just are no words adequate. I am so very sorry. You certainly have been through enough. . . MORE than enough. I cannot even begin to understand your level of disapointment . . . to put it mildly!

Know you're thought of and in my prayers daily, my dear Wendy. I am just devastated for you.

HUGS -- wish I was there to personally deliver them. **SIGH**

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MEGANAMENANA 5/4/2013 6:20PM

  Likewise i don't really know what to say except i'm very sorry to hear all this. You poor thing. Thinking of you during this tough time. Bad things always seem to happen to the nicest and kind hearted people. It really doesn't seem fair. X

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ROZOZ68 5/4/2013 6:06PM

    Wendy, I don't know what to say....
My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. I just spent the last 3 yrs taking care of my daughter and being there for her because of illness. I know what it like to see someone you love hurting in this way and you can't do anything except be there.
Keeping positive helps, but hard when you aren't feeling well.
emoticon Best wishes for you!

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thank you

Saturday, May 04, 2013

Hi thank you for all of your support and your goodies, it means so much to me.

There is so much going on, I am really just keeping my head above water. I spoke to my Nephrologist on Wednesday and when I read the report out to him all he said was "oh, now we need to organise dialysis". I did think that but it is still a shock as you all know I have done everything I could to stay away from dialysis but I cannot stop this from happening now. This is what has shocked me more than the 21 mm x 21mm solid cyst and mentions the word septation. This was the word when my Nephrologist reacted. This was not there when I had a scan last July.

Sad part is that I did think something was wrong that is why I had the scan early but not with my good kidney. By good, this kidney does not give me pain like the other one. I was supposed see the Urology team last month for my 3 year check up, this was cancelled and made for this month, unfortunately this one has also been cancelled until further notice. So I really don't know what is happening. I don't even know if they know the results, although my Nephrologist was going to ring them on Wednesday to inform them but I have not heard from them. This is the trouble with dealing with different hospitals.

This is a long slow process, if I didn't travel to Whyalla yesterday I would still be waiting to have my CT scan that was scheduled for 9 more days here where I live.

I have been on the Net and typed in certain words for the results and it all indicates the same thing, I do hope I am wrong.

I cried for many hours late yesterday, before this I would start but then stop myself, but feel slightly better today because I managed to speak about to you of you, this has really helped that I have all of your support, I don't really think I would have coped without your support.

thank you one and all
Wendy emoticon emoticon m

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAVETOGETITOFF 5/5/2013 8:35PM

    Bigs hugs, beautiful Wendy.
Chris. emoticon

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ARTJAC 5/5/2013 2:22AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MOTLEM 5/4/2013 9:05PM

    emoticonHeaps of love and light going your way, Wendy. emoticon

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FELINEBETTER 5/4/2013 1:26PM

    Wendy - the support doesn't waver. We're here for you. Let yourself cry, swear, stomp, or vent, as you're not alone. Know we're thinking of you and sending healing energy your way. Take care. emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 5/4/2013 10:05AM

    Darling Wendy.
You knowI am here if you want to chat .
I love you like a daughter and wil support you all the way.
If you want to come and have some time with us you are most welcome xx
Thinking of you and still sending Healing Vibes ..
Love Colin, Susie and our family xx
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FATHINSN 5/4/2013 8:28AM

    emoticon
Hope everything will turn up much better soon!

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GOANNA2 5/4/2013 7:47AM

    Sending love and good vibes to help you at this
time. There's no point saying "if". Stay strong.
emoticon emoticon


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RDEE22 5/4/2013 7:39AM

    Sending you as much energy as I can to help you get through all of this Wendy.
emoticon

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update

Friday, May 03, 2013

Hi everyone, a update from my last lot of blogs. I did increase my intensity of my exercising but only do this 3 to 4 times a week. The other days I just do my normal exercises. Also have increased my strength exercises. Very pleased with myself. I have lost 1.5kgs about 3 lbs in the last fortnight. Things were looking really good.

Now for the bad news, I had a renal scan last week and got the results on Tuesday, not looking too good, hasn't been confirmed as yet. Had a CT scan today and get these results on Monday afternoon. I think you can all guess what it might be.

I am going to need to need lots of support for a while. I lost it today and had a good cry. I need lots of positive vibes, prayers and love to get through this time.

I am so glad that I have lost the 22 kgs since I started, I hope it helps me in the next few months. I know I am fitter, stronger and healthier than I was when I had my partial nephrectomy just over 3 years ago.

Just needed to write about this.

x Wendy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POSITIVEMARINA 5/4/2013 7:52AM

    Wendy, so sorry to read that you are going through such a tough time right now. you are in my thoughts and prayers. we will get over this hurdle together.
you have always been so nice and caring as a leader in Sparkies Down Under and i just wanted you to know that you are very much appreciated.
remember, when you are down, the only way is up.
good luck with your results tomorrow. we are thinking of you
lotsa love to you xxx emoticon

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GOANNA2 5/4/2013 7:44AM

    Wendy, you are in my prayers. You have all of us
here to support you. Just take one day at a time.
You have gained strength by eating and exercising
and your good habits will help you in the coming days.
Lots of hugs and prayers to you Wendy. emoticon

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POSITIVEPAULA8 5/4/2013 6:12AM

    Wendy, don't get to down! At least you have lost weight since last time like you said and you are still losing the weight so that is a good thing. Keep on with the weightloss, it will only help you more. Keep up with the exercise but remember not to over do it, sometimes what we think is a good thing can actually be a bad thing if we have or do too much of it!

I will send you lots of positive thoughts and prayers that all will be fine for you!

Take care emoticon emoticon

Paula. emoticon

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CLAIRE_LEFT_SP 5/4/2013 4:34AM

    Wendy, you've been preparing yourself for this for a long time, both emotionally and physically. I know that, even though you are down right now, you will get through this as you have everything else. Once you know the results for sure, you will feel better because the fear of not knowing will be gone.

I'm rooting for you!

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HAVETOGETITOFF 5/4/2013 2:30AM

    In the short time I've been a member of the Sparking in Oz team, you have continually brightened my day, helped me believe in myself and my inner strength, and given me some wonderful advice when I've needed it.

Now it's your turn, you're the one needing support, love, prayers and lots of positive vibes from all those you have helped. You have shown what a strong, determined lady you are, and I know those qualities will stand you in good stead to face the challenges ahead. Yes, there will be some times when it's all you can do to hold it together, but you've put in all those months of improving your eating patterns, exercising, and lowering your weight. Those things will pay off, I'm sure, and will give you a head start with whatever you need to cope with once your results are back.

You and your family will be in my prayers, and I know in the prayers of many, many of your fellow Sparkers. Let these prayers and all the love help you.

Hang in there, beautiful lady.
Love Chris. emoticon emoticon emoticon


Comment edited on: 5/4/2013 2:31:49 AM

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MOTLEM 5/3/2013 8:38PM

    Whew! Didn't enjoy reading that your renal scan results aren't so hot shot. emoticon

You've got my support always Wendy, whether on Sparks or in private, I am here.

Sending loads of love and light your way today and always, girlfriend. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 5/3/2013 5:56PM

    Oh my dear Wendy . . . I lost it reading this news. I am sooo very sorry BUT hopeful for you really ARE a fighter and that's the #1 thing for recuperation . . . no matter what the obstacle to be conquered.

Sending you all good wishes, hugs and many, many prayers. Know you're not alone in this. We're walking with you, sweetie.

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LIFE-FAITH 5/3/2013 10:46AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Wendy I am keeping you in my prayers. Please keep us posted!
You have worked so hard to maintain your ckd and to build a stronger healthier you - I pray the best for you!

May God surround you with people who love and support you.

I love you Wendy! You are such an inspiration to all of us with ckd!

Jean

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FELINEBETTER 5/3/2013 10:32AM

    Hi Wendy!
Just remember that whatever you encounter -- they have to reckon with a stronger, fitter, healthier Wendy!

I'm sending positive healing thoughts your way. We're all behind you, here!

Take care. emoticon

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ORCHIDLADY56 5/3/2013 8:46AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GEORGIAK25 5/3/2013 8:15AM

    Thinking of you and sending prayers for good outcomes. You are a positive person and that will help you get throught is tough time. That and all our suport right behind you. Hugs and more hugs.

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KAYELENE 5/3/2013 7:28AM

    Thinking of you. Sending positive vibes your way emoticon

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RDEE22 5/3/2013 7:14AM

    Sending lots of positive vibes your way Wendy. emoticon

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LAVENDERTEDDY 5/3/2013 6:05AM

    Hi Wendy :)

I am sending my love and prayers to you, to ask that you are surrounded by healing and nurturing angels to be by your side for now and of course for always. I do believe that thought can help to heal so I'm sending healing thoughts and angels your way and a great big hug.....even though I don't know you...were all beautiful women universally connected, it's undeniable how powerful women can be together :).

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MEGANAMENANA 5/3/2013 6:04AM

  Thinking of you Wendy. Hope you are ok x

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MELROSE13 5/3/2013 6:04AM

    You have healing and positive thoughts coming your way from all over the world with your friends at SparkPeople, and you definitely have them coming from Adelaide. Keeping you in my thoughts Wendy! emoticon

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APED7969 5/3/2013 5:56AM

    I can understand losing it now and again with what you're dealing with. I hope the news isn't as bad as you think. Sending positive thoughts your way!

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SUSIEPH1 5/3/2013 4:59AM

    Hello Darling.
I am not surprised you are so unhappy.. It is a lot to take in especially when you are doing so well in other ways ...
This is one of the many times I wish we lived closer, then I could give you a cuddle and be there for support..
Know that I am sending Love and Healing Vibes and I can also speak for the rest of my family ...
Try to be positive my love.. I know it is so hard to have this looming over you...
You have been so brave though all your previous problems.
I am sure your doctors will do the very best for you ... Much Love Colin and Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ARTJAC 5/3/2013 4:39AM

    THINKING OF YOU WENDY emoticon

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POPSY190 5/3/2013 4:18AM

    You have been going through such a lot so losing it now and again is understandable. It isn't good news from the sound of it but remember that all your efforts have put you in a much better place to deal with whatever is thrown at you. You are truly amazing. In my thoughts. Love, Penny

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ANZAC Day 25th April 2013

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

ANZAC Day 25 April is probably Australia's most important national occasion. It marks the anniversary of the first major military action fought by Australian and New Zealand forces during the First World War.

The Australian and New Zealand Army Corps was a World War 1 army corps of the Mediterranean Expeditionary Force that was formed in Egypt in 1915 and operated during the Battle of Gallipoli.

The corps was disbanded in 1916 following the evacuation of Gallipoli. The corps is best remembered today as the source of the acronym ANZAC which has since become a term, "Anzac", for a person from Australia or New Zealand.

Another term we use is Digger. Digger is an Australian and New Zealand military slang term for soldiers from Australia and New Zealand. It originated during World War I. This term is still used today with our troops.

This is the day we honour our fallen ANZACS and Diggers, past and present.

Lest We Forget.

I have had many rellies who served in many wars, starting with the Boer War, 1st World, 2nd World War, Korea and Vietnam.

1.bp.blogspot.com/-XmqRoenZqlM/UJ9cI
NbHxYI/AAAAAAAABjQ/q-MKf9-le1E/s1600/l
est-we-forget.jpg



  
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HAVETOGETITOFF 4/27/2013 8:30AM

    LEST WE FORGET!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/27/2013 8:34:34 AM

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1CRAZYDOG 4/25/2013 8:55PM

    (((HUGS))) Definitely a day to remember.

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GOANNA2 4/25/2013 5:32AM

    Thanks Wendy.
At the going down of the sun, and in the morning,
we will remember them!

LEST WE FORGET !! emoticon emoticon emoticon


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ARTJAC 4/25/2013 4:49AM

    emoticon emoticon

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POPSY190 4/25/2013 3:19AM

    They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;
They fell with their faces to the foe.
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old . . .

In Remembrance emoticon emoticon emoticon

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POSITIVEPAULA8 4/25/2013 1:16AM

    emoticon I have been to many dawn services in years gone by I have even marched in the parade in full Girl Guide (Brownie Leader) uniform. emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 4/25/2013 12:41AM

    My husband is a Canadian soldier and he honours Australian and New Zealand soldiers on Anzac day as do I and many of the Canadian officers and troops we know !

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SUSIEPH1 4/24/2013 11:58PM

    I too have many relies that served in the Armed Forces ..
Some of them gave their lives so that we can be free .
They served in many countries and some are still buried there.
My father and grandfather also great grand father and great great great grandfather all served their Country .
May they all rest in peace .
At the going down of the sun,and the morning, emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon We Will Remember Them.
Lest We Forget .

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MOTLEM 4/24/2013 11:38PM

    At the going down of the sun, and in the morning, we will remember them!

LEST WE FORGET !!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LEESHAK_ 4/24/2013 11:17PM

    Lest we forget. emoticon

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