WENDYJM4   161,765
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9th May 2013

Thursday, May 09, 2013

Been to Adelaide and arrived home at about 5.30 pm. A long day and I am very tired. Will write more tomorrow. As I am going to bed in a few minutes.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAVETOGETITOFF 5/13/2013 12:34AM

    Hope you slept well and woke feeling much better. emoticon

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ARTJAC 5/10/2013 1:25AM


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MOTLEM 5/9/2013 9:24PM

    STDLTBBB emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 5/9/2013 6:09PM

    Glad you're back safe and sound. Sleep well, my dear! HUGS

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GOANNA2 5/9/2013 7:50AM

    Goodnight and I hope you get a good rest. emoticon

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SWEETNEEY 5/9/2013 7:47AM


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RDEE22 5/9/2013 7:40AM

    Sleep well! emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 5/9/2013 7:38AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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POSITIVEPAULA8 5/9/2013 7:37AM

    Have a good sleep! emoticon

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    I hope you had a very restful night.

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ZENRYAKU 5/9/2013 7:32AM

    Pleased to hear that you are back home. Sweet dreams.

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7th May 2013

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

hi everyone, yes I am taking your advise, I am looking after myself. The other day I went back to bed at 7am and woke at 11am. But the last 2 nights I have slept well.

Eating is good but not enough calories but I am trying to look after the nutrients.

Exercising is going okay now I have got over my pity party. Did 30 minutes of upper body strength yesterday and today I did 30 minutes of lower body strength.

Today I have had a lovely day, got out of bed about 9am, got my brekkie and went out the back and sat in the sunshine, did the exercises, read, listened to music, did some crocheting, Dwayne and Lisa came down and saw me this afternoon. 3pm came and I thought it was time to come inside and check out what is happening on Sparks.

So one perfect day. Still losing a bit of weight, now lost over 22kgs (just over 49lbs).
Gee that looks nice. Bragging.

Next goal is the 25kgs lost. "Be gone with you weight"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAVETOGETITOFF 5/13/2013 12:33AM

    I haven't been on SP for a few days, so am trying to catch up on what everyone is doing.
So happy to read about your wonderful day - isn't it amazing how just sitting outside in the sunshine can make your day feel so much better? Always works for me, too.
Pity party? No, definitely not, just coming to terms with the news, and the adjustments you will have to make. You have done so well, and deserve to be proud of how you are handling the whole situation.
Great news about the weight loss, and I'm so happy you are trying to stay focused on your body's nutritional requirements. You've put such a lot of effort into losing each of those kilos, so you have every right to feel proud.
A positive attitude can work wonders, so hold on to your's. You are such a role model for so many people!
Big hugs, prayers, and love
from Chris. xx

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ARTJAC 5/8/2013 2:33AM

    emoticon WENDY emoticon emoticon

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1BEACHWALKER 5/8/2013 12:09AM

    That's good you are looking after yourself! And good for you on the weight loss! It isn't easy! But, keeping up with the ST and what exercise you can do is important for the weight loss to continue! Sounds like you are doing that! emoticon Brag all you want-we all love to do that here at SP-that is what we are here for...and it inspires us all to see ones keeping with it and making progress! emoticon

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STEPBYSTEP_ 5/7/2013 11:53PM

    you are getting very close to that 25kg gone, wow! great job wendy emoticon this time of year is so nice with the sunny - but not hot - days!

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ROZOZ68 5/7/2013 11:27PM

    emoticon emoticon Glad to hear you are having a better day! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LIFE-FAITH 5/7/2013 10:35PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ORCHIDLADY56 5/7/2013 9:58PM

    Sounds like a wonderful day!

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EFFIEANNIE 5/7/2013 8:39PM

    Good to hear you slept better and had a good day. Keep it up!

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FELINEBETTER 5/7/2013 1:00PM

    emoticon Wendy!!!

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1CRAZYDOG 5/7/2013 11:51AM

    HUGS to you. glad you had a good day.

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RDEE22 5/7/2013 7:21AM

    Congratulations on the 22kg loss. That is so good and such a lot of work. emoticon emoticon

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POSITIVEPAULA8 5/7/2013 7:01AM

    That is great Wendy that you have had a good day! Keep on keeping on and looking after yourself! emoticon

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POPSY190 5/7/2013 5:48AM

    Pleased you have had a good day. Well done on the weight loss!

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APED7969 5/7/2013 5:44AM

    Sounds like a nice day. I'm glad you're getting back to your routines. 22kg is awesome!

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SUSIEPH1 5/7/2013 5:31AM

    Glad you had such a lovely day Wendy love.
Not a pity party darling, just a huge shock and you are dealing with it.
Great you are still losing weight .. it will all help .. Try to think positive darling .
I am confident it will all be ok ...
Love you xx Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOTLEM 5/7/2013 2:32AM

    Certainly sounds like a lovely day. It's been pretty nice here too, but your day sounds as if it was really great. I love those days where you can feel at peace with the world, well mostly... you know what I mean, Wendy. emoticon

emoticon 22kgs down the gurglar!! emoticon emoticon

You have BRAGGING rights, girlfriend!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CT scan

Monday, May 06, 2013

hi everyone, I got the report from the CT scan I had on Friday. I could not have the contrast because of the kidney function, so they could not see inside the kidney so really none the wiser. They could see the cysts on the outside but these are only small.

I have a appointment at the Urology department in Adelaide on the 7th June so I will have to wait until then.

This now is a total of 3 appointments in the next month all in Adelaide.

I do feel a lot more positive today. I did my strength training, worked in my vegie garden and did some walking and saw my grandchildren, so all in all a good day.

Now I have another month to lose more weight LOL. Whatever comes out of this I am using this to motivate me for the next month, Then we will face what happens then.

Except for the last few days (I had my pity party) I have been doing 30 minutes of weight training about 4 times per week, I plan to increase this by at least 5 minutes per week. I need to be stronger.

cheers for now

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEPBYSTEP_ 5/7/2013 11:52PM

    hi wendy, great job on all you are doing with the strength training and using the next month to the best use you can before the next appointment. Sorry the scan was unable to give more information though emoticon

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GOANNA2 5/7/2013 4:12AM

    That sounds like one perfect day Wendy.
I'm glad you are taking time for yourself.
You are a true inspiration and my feeling is
that you will get to say 'lost 25 kg' soon.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHEBESS 5/7/2013 12:47AM

    Wendy, I'll be in Adelaide from 24-28 May - If you'd like to meet up, please let me know and we can do that. In fact, if you need or want someone to go to an appt with you, I can do that too. Okay? DH and I have already spent 2 weeks there, enjoying the city, and other than another trip to the museum and visiting my friendly pokie, we have nothing planned. I'd love to meet up, and if you need some extra support I'm available!

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ARTJAC 5/6/2013 11:38PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 5/6/2013 9:49PM

    Hugs and prayers. Do take good care of yourself, as you are doing!

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MOTLEM 5/6/2013 9:16PM

    Yes, proper exercise, good nutrition, lots of sleep.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LIFE-FAITH 5/6/2013 6:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

You are truly an inspiration! Take care of yourself!


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SUSIEPH1 5/6/2013 5:13PM

    emoticon Thanks Darling for the text last night ... Disappointing that you don't know any more and you have to wait so long for further results .. Great that you are feeling more positive and getting on with your exercise and healthy way of life xxx

It's amazing what can be done these days to compensate for loss of kidney function.
I know you will face this bravely and positively ...
We love you my friend, and will be with you all the way xx
Much Love xx Susie

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FELINEBETTER 5/6/2013 9:05AM

    Atta Girl, Wendy!

Your strength and perseverance is truly amazing! You Go Girl!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RDEE22 5/6/2013 8:51AM

    You are one strong lady Wendy. I love your positiveness (is that a word?) and motivation. emoticon

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GOANNA2 5/6/2013 8:26AM

    You are so courageous Wendy. Really admire
your strength. I hope the appointments go well
for you. Keep going with the healthy regime.
It will help to keep you motivated. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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update on my last blog.

Saturday, May 04, 2013

When I just reread my last blog, I think my brain was scattered and this one might be the same. I hope not.

Should have said that my Nephrologist has made arrangements for me to see a surgeon on Thursday to have a operation in near future to raise the fistula that I had done 13 months ago.

As you all know all I wanted and had planned my life around not going on dialysis. I did fight a long hard battle and until this I know I was winning. Wanted to lose the weight so I could get a chance to go on the kidney transplant list. All I needed was another 2 years cancer free. I was told that for the best chance you needed to be under 60 to make this list, that probably will not happen now. I actually only had 22 months to go to make said list.

Another thing I was going to do, I have been under the Obesity Clinic for 2 1/2 years to have a gastric bypass at a public hospital. I was on the 1 year waiting list, the year is up at the end of next month. It is only in the last month that I got excited about this course of action. Probably another thing I cannot do now. The reason I made the decision to take this action was solely to make the transplant list and to keep me off of dialysis. I am so slow losing my weight and I told that I needed to lose another 40 kgs to make this list and I felt I was running out of time.

I have been through cancer before both times I was lucky and did not have to have chemo. I time was about 14 or 15 years ago when I had a complete hysterectomy. Then just over 3 years ago I had kidney cancer and they did a partial nephrectomy. This was when I went from Stage 3 (moderate kidney disease) to Stage 5 (end stage) and I have been fighting this ever since. I had been sitting on 28 or 29 creatinine level and went down to 14. This is the Australia levels.

I honestly believe the doctor's know, my own doctor made the comment that he was devastated when he got the report, then mentioned that he feels gutted because of all I have been through in the last few years and also somewhere in this he had said it is not good news. He also had tears in his eyes as he was telling me.

Then with what the said Nephrologist in my last blog.

Yes I need answers but I think it is all heading in the same direction with whatever is in my kidney, as I said in my last blog this was not there last July and now it is 21mm round or nearly 1 inch round and in the middle of my kidney. At least last time it was on the top so they could just take a bit of kidney. I think the end result will be dialysis, the one thing I said I would never do. But I have no other options.

Now I guess I make a new phase of my life and stop thinking about the past and what I have been trying to win. That has probably gone.

Now I need to get on with the rest of my life whatever that may be. I have been awake for hours, not sleeping very well but talking about this on here has cleared my mind and it has helped so much. I really don't like talking to my family as I want to protect them. Yes I know I shouldn't but that is the way I am which I think I have proven many times on here. I have got a niece that I do talk to, we have been through so much together. She is so supportive and I have one friend that I can talk to.

Wow 7 am, I think I will go back to bed. LOL.

Thank you all again for your support.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1BEACHWALKER 5/8/2013 12:18AM

    So sorry Wendy things are not looking well for you, but have faith that the Dr's. will give you the best care possible. Keep doing what you have been doing-stay positive and get plenty of rest. And be active when you can.
We are here for you. emoticon emoticon

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    First of all, you need sleep. Do you remember being told when you were young and upset about something that 'it will seem better after a good sleep'? It does, promise you. What you have to deal with is a huge load for anyone to handle, but at least you have a few people in your life you are able to talk openly with about your worries and concerns. Just remember that, apart from the kidney problem, you are a lighter, healthier woman than you were a few years ago, and that definitely helps when facing a big health concern. You have the love and support and the prayers of so many of us here on Spark People, and that too has to have a positive effect in some way.
Keep eating as you have been, keep up with whatever you are able to do as regards exercise, and you will be doing the best you can to help your body to cope with what's to come. Most important of all though - sleep. Sleep not only allows you to get all those random thoughts, questions and worries in perspective, but it is such an aid to healing our bodies as well
Take good care of yourself Wendy, put yourself at the top of the 'to do' list for at least a few hours every day.
Love, prayers, and good wishes,
Chris. xx emoticon

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TOTHEFUTURE1 5/5/2013 8:53AM

    emoticon I know being positive isn't easy but do try

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EFFIEANNIE 5/5/2013 7:32AM

So sorry to hear about all this. Take it one day at a time and have faith. People lead a fairly normal life on dialysis. Keep us informed. I will be thinking of you.

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POPSY190 5/5/2013 6:10AM

    So very sorry you have such a lot to come to terms with. I'm glad you do have some people you can talk to as well as your SP to support you as best we can. emoticon

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ARTJAC 5/5/2013 2:23AM

    emoticon emoticon

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APED7969 5/5/2013 1:42AM

    I'm sorry to hear you got such bad news. I hope you are getting lots of support and good care from your doctors and of course support from everyone on spark. Every kg you lose can only help you fight this. Sending positive thoughts and prayers.

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PHEBESS 5/5/2013 1:35AM

    Wow - I'm not sure I understand all the medicine of your situation, but I hope there are some things you and the doctors can do that help you with your condition - at least to buy you another 10-15 years. Or more.

Big hugs!!! And someone is always here!

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CLAIRE_LEFT_SP 5/4/2013 9:35PM

    I admit I was confused when I read it but could definitely tell you were very distressed about bad kidney news. I am so sorry it has come to this.

HOWEVER! This is no reason to stop working on your weight and other proactive things! Every kg off improves your situation. You are so strong and you must be feeling so tired and disconsolate. Have a well deserved pity party for a couple days and then get back to readying yourself for surgery.

I'm so glad you have someone to talk to face to face. We just can't really give you everything you need as much as we'd like to. Virtual hugs aren't the same.

We love you, Wendy. Your grandies need you.

FIGHT! fight! Fight! FIGHT!

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MOTLEM 5/4/2013 9:12PM

    I am sure you will get the best of physical care, Wendy.
Mental care .. well, that's what friends are for, eh!
Always here for you, girlfriend.

emoticon emoticon

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RDEE22 5/4/2013 8:45PM

    We are all thinking of you Wendy. I'm glad blogging helps. We are all there to listen. emoticon emoticon

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FELINEBETTER 5/4/2013 8:25PM

    OK Girl -- Get yourself to bed and get some rest. Things always look a little better when you've got some sleep under your belt! I'm happy to be a part of this wonderful support network called Spark. No need for thanks -- just keep looking after our friend Wendy!

emoticon emoticon

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GOANNA2 5/4/2013 8:08PM

    My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you Wendy.
I hope you can get some rest and a good sleep even
though it's daylight.

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SUSIEPH1 5/4/2013 7:21PM

    Wendy darling, know that we are with you 100 percent.
You know where to find me if you need to talk .
I know the prognoses is not good,but we must look to to future.
I am sure your doctor and specialists will do their very best to help you.
You have already been through so much,and I know this is not going to be easy.

You are a strong,wonderful caring woman my darling and I know you will fight this ..
All,my love . Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 5/4/2013 6:26PM

    Oh my gosh Wendy, I have read both your blogs and there just are no words adequate. I am so very sorry. You certainly have been through enough. . . MORE than enough. I cannot even begin to understand your level of disapointment . . . to put it mildly!

Know you're thought of and in my prayers daily, my dear Wendy. I am just devastated for you.

HUGS -- wish I was there to personally deliver them. **SIGH**

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MEGANAMENANA 5/4/2013 6:20PM

  Likewise i don't really know what to say except i'm very sorry to hear all this. You poor thing. Thinking of you during this tough time. Bad things always seem to happen to the nicest and kind hearted people. It really doesn't seem fair. X

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ROZOZ68 5/4/2013 6:06PM

    Wendy, I don't know what to say....
My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. I just spent the last 3 yrs taking care of my daughter and being there for her because of illness. I know what it like to see someone you love hurting in this way and you can't do anything except be there.
Keeping positive helps, but hard when you aren't feeling well.
emoticon Best wishes for you!

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thank you

Saturday, May 04, 2013

Hi thank you for all of your support and your goodies, it means so much to me.

There is so much going on, I am really just keeping my head above water. I spoke to my Nephrologist on Wednesday and when I read the report out to him all he said was "oh, now we need to organise dialysis". I did think that but it is still a shock as you all know I have done everything I could to stay away from dialysis but I cannot stop this from happening now. This is what has shocked me more than the 21 mm x 21mm solid cyst and mentions the word septation. This was the word when my Nephrologist reacted. This was not there when I had a scan last July.

Sad part is that I did think something was wrong that is why I had the scan early but not with my good kidney. By good, this kidney does not give me pain like the other one. I was supposed see the Urology team last month for my 3 year check up, this was cancelled and made for this month, unfortunately this one has also been cancelled until further notice. So I really don't know what is happening. I don't even know if they know the results, although my Nephrologist was going to ring them on Wednesday to inform them but I have not heard from them. This is the trouble with dealing with different hospitals.

This is a long slow process, if I didn't travel to Whyalla yesterday I would still be waiting to have my CT scan that was scheduled for 9 more days here where I live.

I have been on the Net and typed in certain words for the results and it all indicates the same thing, I do hope I am wrong.

I cried for many hours late yesterday, before this I would start but then stop myself, but feel slightly better today because I managed to speak about to you of you, this has really helped that I have all of your support, I don't really think I would have coped without your support.

thank you one and all
Wendy emoticon emoticon m

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Bigs hugs, beautiful Wendy.
Chris. emoticon

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ARTJAC 5/5/2013 2:22AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MOTLEM 5/4/2013 9:05PM

    emoticonHeaps of love and light going your way, Wendy. emoticon

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FELINEBETTER 5/4/2013 1:26PM

    Wendy - the support doesn't waver. We're here for you. Let yourself cry, swear, stomp, or vent, as you're not alone. Know we're thinking of you and sending healing energy your way. Take care. emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 5/4/2013 10:05AM

    Darling Wendy.
You knowI am here if you want to chat .
I love you like a daughter and wil support you all the way.
If you want to come and have some time with us you are most welcome xx
Thinking of you and still sending Healing Vibes ..
Love Colin, Susie and our family xx
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FATHINSN 5/4/2013 8:28AM

Hope everything will turn up much better soon!

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GOANNA2 5/4/2013 7:47AM

    Sending love and good vibes to help you at this
time. There's no point saying "if". Stay strong.
emoticon emoticon

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RDEE22 5/4/2013 7:39AM

    Sending you as much energy as I can to help you get through all of this Wendy.

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