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WENDYJM4's Recent Blog Entries

11/1/12

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Thank you everyone for all your comments and concerns.

It has been hard work trying to clear all this up. Not sleeping very well either. It is emotionally draining. Just trying to help my son because he is not coping either. Such a hard and sad time. It has been made worse because my ex has no money to bury himself. Plenty in super but it will take up to 6 months to get that money.

Bit teary myself today because of all the emotional stress has been heaped on me. Starting to feel angry because of what is happening. I know he couldn't help it but why didn't he have funeral cover.

Oh well hopefully by this time next week it will all be over.

Hopefully there will be good news next time I blog. Sorry for unburdening myself but I felt I had to.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_HERMIT 1/12/2012 3:42AM

    Wendy I am not sure if you are aware but there is financial assistance- I think about 500 dollars available to help towards costs if you contact Centrelink your son might be able to access it.

Having money in the bank and paying up front for a funeral is the way I plan on doing things- funeral cover is very iffy from what i have heard people have had problems with funds that up the money cost as your age goes up and then someone in there 70's could have paid out money for years for nothings if they miss one payment.

Having something saved away means I know for the bank I am with that my executor is allowed to have up to 3,000 dollars straight away towards costs. that is with anz bank in australia

Comment edited on: 1/12/2012 3:47:44 AM

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1CRAZYDOG 1/11/2012 5:12PM

    Hugs to both you and your son. You are feeling things that are normal, normal, normal and venting here (or anywhere!) is healthy, so dear, keep doing it1 It helps. And we're here to listen.

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CTEMPLE 1/11/2012 4:26PM

    So sorry dear Wendy that you have to go through this, when there are children, what can you do. Do not worry about us we're all here to lend you an ear.
Hope it gets better, and try to LCD yourself.
Claudia

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TRYINGHARD1948 1/11/2012 2:53PM

    It is a difficult time but you will amaze yourself with your ability to get through the next few days. Do take care of yourself. emoticon

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JILL313 1/11/2012 12:04PM

    Wendy, I'm so sorry you and your son are having to take care of everything. It's also an emotionally draining and grieving experience that will take some time to heal. It's important that YOU take good care of yourself--don't overdo it and then have more regrets. I assume your son is grown now. Is he the one that lives with you. He is also angry at his Dad for leaving him with unanswered questions and problems. I will be praying for you and all his family to get through this awful time as well as possible. You are such a caring person and it hurts you to see your soon so upset. God Bless all of you.

Love,

Jill

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I.M.MAGIC 1/11/2012 10:43AM

    emoticon

Don't let your anger disturb you. It is a normal part of the grieving process, to feel angry for all the things left undone... for all the things that won't be, now. It's okay.

You are such a strong woman, m'dear, and I know it's difficult right now, but you will get through it. These things just take time, and we're all right here whenever you need us, okay?

Just remember in all this that YOU are important, and take the best care of yourself that you can. That alone will be a huge help to your son, if he knows you are there and he doesn't need to worry over you too... take a few walks together, take the time to just BE...

LOVE, my sweet friend.

Kathy emoticon emoticon

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LIFE-FAITH 1/11/2012 9:30AM

    emoticon Take care of yourself. Jean

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FITTAN1 1/11/2012 6:05AM

    This time next week hopefully it will be all over Wendy and you can return to normal life again. Try not to worry because it will all turn out in the end, it has to. We are here to help whenever you need...

Remember to look after you :)

BIG emoticon

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CBEVNOW 1/11/2012 5:20AM

    Wendy, hang in there. Anger is part of the process, and i know your heart is up set . Yes he should have prepaired for this, because of his son. I know your son has such love for you for helping him through this time. We are here for you, any time. emoticon Caroline

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OPALMOON 1/11/2012 3:42AM

    Wendy, it is understandable to be experiencing these feelings. Your Spark friends are here to support you so please do not feel sorry for sharing how everything is going for you. Prayers are with you and your son.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Nattacia

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TRUCKERWIFE2 1/11/2012 2:42AM

    Be thankful you are here for your son. I'm sure you are not happy with your ex for putting you and your son in this position. You are a wonderful Mom to help your son during this time. It will be over soon and you can get back to your lives. Will be thinking of the two of you in the coming weeks and you are no burdon on any of us. Take care of yourself. emoticon emoticon

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CLAIRE_LEFT_SP 1/11/2012 2:11AM

    emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 1/11/2012 1:33AM

    Hi Love !!
It has been a very unsettling time for you these last few days .. we never expect these things to happen and when they do we are thrown for a loop .
I think you are doing an amazing job and it will soon be over !!
Try to hang in there love.... If you can get through this, you can get through anything ..
Don't forget .. We are all here for you ..
Love and Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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10th Jan

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Sorry I have been very quiet on here, just so much to organise. Was down at the ex's house cleaning, washing curtains, shifting furniture and so on. Trying to get everything ready to sell in a garage sale. Plus still going to other places to inform them of the death. it has not been easy.
So tired and just checked my pedometer and I have done 9000 steps and burnt about 700 calories. No wonder my legs are aching, actually I am aching all over.Rest day tomorrow.
I hope this all shows up on the scales, if I remember to weigh on Saturday. Oh well off to bed to get some sleep hopefully.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_HERMIT 1/11/2012 4:22PM

    Look after your self Wendy we value you hear in the the world of spakdome

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CBEVNOW 1/10/2012 10:50PM

    We understand Wendy, you have a good heart for doing this. Remember to not over do, take care of you. emoticon emoticon

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RUFFESS47 1/10/2012 9:55PM

    Know all about what you are doing Wendy. Did the same for a week at Mums house.
Good when all is over

Our thoughts are with you

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TRYINGHARD1948 1/10/2012 4:53PM

    Don't be surprised if it takes a few days for your efforts to show on the scale. Sometimes there is fluid retention. Do take care.

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CTEMPLE 1/10/2012 4:32PM

    Great that you're getting it done, without delays.
Make sure you take it easy.
Claudia

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POPSY190 1/10/2012 2:21PM

    Always traumatic clearing up the past. Hang in there!

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SUSIEPH1 1/10/2012 1:55PM

    Hi Wendy ...
Make sure you take care of yourself and Dwayne my friend ...
We will be here when you have time !!
Hugs and Love Susie emoticon emoticon

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CLAIRE_LEFT_SP 1/10/2012 1:37PM

    Hope this is over and behind you soon, Wendy. My thoughts are with you.

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1CRAZYDOG 1/10/2012 11:39AM

    sorry things are so rough. My thoughts are with you.

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TRUCKERWIFE2 1/10/2012 11:25AM

    Hope you take care of yourself. Glad you are able to help your son. Hopefully this will be over soon and you can get back to normal. Take it easy. emoticon

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OPALMOON 1/10/2012 11:09AM

    You have a lot on your plate at the moment Wendy! Look after yourself - I am thinking of you.

emoticon

Nattacia

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LIFE-FAITH 1/10/2012 10:01AM

    emoticon Wendy take care of you and the things that need to be done during this difficult time. We will be here for when you get back. Rest well. Jean

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LINTPICKER 1/10/2012 7:30AM

    Get the rest you need. You have emotional stress too, this is a hard time to go through. emoticon

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8th Jan 2012

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Hi thanks for your support, I do really need it.

Correction in my last blog, I didn't go to the chiropractor last year it was the Physiotherapist.

I am going over my parents and spend an enjoyable day with my grandchildren. I am not going to think of this today until my son gets home tonight.

I had some good news regarding my weight yesterday I lost 2.3kgs or 5lbs for the week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAVIDPRESCOTT 1/9/2012 4:34AM

    2.3 kgs? The new year is starting AMAZINGLY well!

Love the background as well - gotta love a water tank shot:)

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RUFFESS47 1/8/2012 6:31PM

    Great weight loss Wendy

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1CRAZYDOG 1/8/2012 12:08PM

    Wow, 5 lbs. is a fantastic result!!! You've done well!!

I hope today is a good day for you.

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I.M.MAGIC 1/8/2012 11:01AM

    It really is sad about your ex--that poor boy, having to identify his father that way would have been difficult for him. And even with an ex, there is an emotional attachment there for you as well... you loved him and had a child with him once upon a time, and that leaves its mark on your soul... Hang in there sweet lady.

I AM happy for you for one more step toward your goal--even little bits add up, and FIVE POUNDS is nothing to sneeze at!
emoticon

I hope today is a brighter day for you--and your son--in EVERY way...

Kathy emoticon emoticon

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ORCHIDLADY56 1/8/2012 10:23AM

    So sorry for your loss Wendy. Have a great day with your grandchildren, and congrats on the weight loss. That is awesome!

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CHINAGAL 1/8/2012 8:37AM

    Have a lovely day with your grandchildren! Pictures, maybe?

emoticon
Edna

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ONEWAYSTREET 1/8/2012 8:17AM

  emoticon to the "BESTEST" sparker....

Fantastic you are taking a day for you & the tiddlywinks...
Hope it was brilliant!
xxdxx

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OPALMOON 1/8/2012 12:10AM

    Great going on your slimming progress Wendy!! Have a wonderful day with your parents and grandchildren.

emoticon

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TRUCKERWIFE2 1/7/2012 10:13PM

    Sorry about your son's father. It had to be difficult for him. Glad you are getting to spend time with the Grandkids. Hope your week goes better. Congrats on the 5 lb weight loss. That's fantastic! Keep up the good work!

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POPSY190 1/7/2012 9:14PM

    Sorry to hear of the death and your son having to do that but so pleased about the weight loss which means that you have resisted eating for comfort. I hope you have had a great day with parents and grandchildren. emoticon

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HANNAH_CALM 1/7/2012 9:13PM

    Congratulations on the weight loss ! ! !
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CTEMPLE 1/7/2012 8:47PM

    Great result dear Wendy and very good idea to postpone the thoughts. Have a great day.
Claudia

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FITTAN1 1/7/2012 8:08PM

    Hey Wendy, I am jumping up and down in excitement for you!!

2.3 kgs is a great loss, it will give you the confidence to keep going and lose some more.

So proud of you, I know you can do it!

Have a great day with the grandies :)

xx

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CLAIRE_LEFT_SP 1/7/2012 7:52PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
You support us at least as much as we support you!
I'm so glad you are making progress on your goals - that must make you feel so good!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JILL313 1/7/2012 7:30PM

    Hi Wendy, I haven't been doing much of Spark recently as my computer isn't working so I've been sharing a computer with my son. He is on it a lot so it doesn't give me much computer time. I need to Spark more as this last month I've lost focus and actually gained a few pounds--not good at all. But, I'm now back on track and hoping to lose those darn pounds in a week. Congratulations on losing 5#s as that's great especially since I've read about your ex which I'm very sorry to heard and that your having back problems. I sure hope you're not in too much pain now. Sounds like you're having a good time at your Parent's house with your GKs.

Love,

Jill

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SUSIEPH1 1/7/2012 7:19PM

    Hi Wendy !!
So glad you are going to your Parents .
Will be nice to relax with them ..
Congratulations on such a great weight loss ..
Just shows what can happen when we track and stick to our exercise!!.
You are a great example of what can be done ..
I am so very Proud of you ..
Love and Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/7/2012 7:20:34 PM

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7th Jan 2012

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Back still has niggles in it but it is a lot better than it was. I am happy about that because before my back would not have improved without seeing a chiropractor. So there has been a marked improvement. 12 months ago I needed 10 visits to a chiropractor and it was still sorer than it is now.

I received some very sad news last night, my ex-husband, father to my son was found dead in his house. My son had to identify his father. No suspicious
circumstances. He was only 59 years of age. Have been waiting around most of the day to hear from the police. So today has been a real downer of a day. So far holding up, have wanted to emotionally eat but so far have resisted temptation. So I am pleased about that.

My back ground picture is of the Water tower in my home town, I have tried to walk up it I get to half way but can't make it too the top. I don't like heights and also after half way the stairs get very deep and I can see to much.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TAMI1691 1/16/2012 6:11PM

    ((((((hugs)))))))) for you

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CHINAGAL 1/8/2012 8:36AM

    So sorry to hear about your ex. When things like this happen it affects us deeply because it hurts us to see our children hurting and we go into MOM mode! Several years ago my ex was attacked and robbed. He sustained a horrific head injury but eventually recovered. I remember what it was like to know that my children were going through such an ordeal. However, we lived almost 1,000 miles apart, so I wasn't close by to support them. I know that you are a pillar of strength for your son.
emoticon
Edna

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OPALMOON 1/8/2012 12:09AM

    So sorry to hear this sad news Wendy - thinking of you.

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HANNAH_CALM 1/7/2012 9:11PM

    I'm glad your back is doing so much better. I hope it continues to improve! Maybe it still would like to see a chiropracter. It sounds painful. The water tower looks really cute. I'm wondering what part of the country you're in, nothing looks like that where I'm from. I'm in Oregon. It looks really pretty there!

I'm so sorry about your ex-husband dying. It sounds like you were still friends, or you might have liked to have been. He died too young. One of my grandfathers died when he was only about 33. He wasn't feeling well, so he went to the doctor, and he died there in the waiting room. Take care of yourself. Try to think of what you need to do to be well and relaxed right now. I hear it helps to go to sleep a little early for a while, during the mourning period.

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RUFFESS47 1/7/2012 6:54PM

    Wendy you will get over this
Most of us have been through it, it is not nice.
I am sure you will be strong for your children.

keep talking to us it will help

emoticon

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WENDYJM4 1/7/2012 6:44PM

    thank you for all your support on my bad news. It is very much appreciated and needed. It is going to be a very stressful time for a little while. So many emotions are running through me. Holding strong at the moment.
thank you, one and all

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CBEVNOW 1/7/2012 4:13PM

    Sorry about your ex, passing away. I was going to tell you i loved your picture. I am like you i dont like heights like that. Good luck on your walking. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRYINGHARD1948 1/7/2012 1:56PM

    Sad news indeed. emoticon

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LINTPICKER 1/7/2012 1:44PM

    Sorry to hear the news, as you can tell there are many here that care.

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1CRAZYDOG 1/7/2012 12:12PM

    So very sorry to hear of the ex's passing. Very difficult news indeed. My thoughts are with you and your son.

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GENEALOGYGAL 1/7/2012 11:43AM

    So sorry about the sad times. Iwill be thinking of you. emoticon

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LIFE-FAITH 1/7/2012 11:31AM

    emoticonWendy thinking of you - keeping you in my prayers.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your back feels better soon.
Jean

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CTEMPLE 1/7/2012 5:36AM

    Very sad news, such a lonely end to a life.


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FITTAN1 1/7/2012 5:31AM

    I am here if needed Wendy. It has been a terrible shock to us all :(

Life is like a roller coaster ride sometimes with lots of ups and downs, and round and rounds, so hang in there dear friend...

Good to hear you are holding up okay for now, I guess this will be a test for emotional eating, so well done for resisting. Try to keep busy :)

Hope your back improves for you, oh and that water tower, we will get you to the top one day :)

emoticon

x

Comment edited on: 1/7/2012 5:33:37 AM

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DUSTYPRAIRIE 1/7/2012 5:22AM

    (((hugs))) dear lady. what a shocker. my kids were notified their dad, my x, had hours to live. what a strange feeling came over me. what alot of emotions you must be feeling.

i'm here if you want to chat.

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SUSIEPH1 1/7/2012 4:13AM

    Hi Wendy !!
So sorry to hear such sad news !
Must have been such a dreadful shock to you and your son!
Remember love we are all here for you ...
I have actually been up that water tower .. way back in the 1980s .
Lovely view from the top !!
Hugs and Love my friend.
Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EOWYN2424 1/7/2012 4:10AM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your ex-husband. I will pray for him and you, and your son!

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4th Jan

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

My back has improve, still has a niggle in it but so much better than yesterday.
I have completed quite a bit of walking and chair marching today, still trying to walk it out. I am going to try some gentle stretches after to see if this helps. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to start doing more.
Thank you for all your comments, support, encouragement and help on my last
blog, I am not going to let this beat me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SM-ARTGIRL 1/6/2012 11:50PM

    Wish you a speedy recovery!

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CHINAGAL 1/5/2012 9:54AM

    You are a trooper and nothing can defeat you!
emoticon
Edna

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FITTAN1 1/5/2012 1:28AM

    Take it easy Wendy, it wont take long until your back will be better and you are back at it again. Just exercise the bits that you can, gently does it emoticon

Oh and I love the water tower background too!

Comment edited on: 1/5/2012 1:28:53 AM

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CBEVNOW 1/4/2012 4:33PM

    Remember to go easy, dont get in a hurry, we want you well. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRYINGHARD1948 1/4/2012 1:38PM

    Gently does it, remember you are here for the long haul.

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LIFE-FAITH 1/4/2012 11:26AM

    emoticon take care of yourself Wendy.

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1CRAZYDOG 1/4/2012 10:52AM

    Glad your back is improving. Take care, mhy dear.

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TRUCKERWIFE2 1/4/2012 10:46AM

    I'm glad you are feeling a little better today, Wendy. Take it slow at first. Hope the stretching helps emoticon

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OPALMOON 1/4/2012 8:43AM

    Glad you felt better today Wendy!

emoticon

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RSSSLHB 1/4/2012 6:45AM

    emoticonbut don't try to over do it emoticon

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RDY4THIN 1/4/2012 2:04AM

    sometimes the hardest thing to do is keep on keepin' on... and you are doing it anyway! go slow and keep it up!
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SUSIEPH1 1/4/2012 1:49AM

    Wendy dear be careful !! Don't try to do too much ...
Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon

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CTEMPLE 1/4/2012 1:44AM

    Dear Wendy, take care of yourselves, don't force yourself if you're not well yet.
Claudia

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