Tuesday, May 04, 2010
I've been feeling pretty crappy about my body image lately. I was pretty depressed last month for various reasons and I let myself slip into bad eating habits and a lot of laying around. Now that I am feeling better and back on track I am so disappointed in myself for doing that because I am seeing and feeling the repercussions. I put on the two pounds that I lost, plus a few. I am dreading looking for a wedding dress at the end of the month, and attending friends weddings this summer.
I felt decent about myself yesterday, but when I woke up this morning and had to get dressed I picked out something 'comfortable' that I thought looked okay, but would get me by for the day of hiding in my cubicle. I woke Kyle to say goodbye and he said, "honey, I found you." I asked what the hell he was talking about, thinking he was in a sleepy stupor, and he said, "you look like Waldo." I immediately changed into a "slimming" black shirt, again, nothing that anyone would notice me in. How could he not think that would hurt my feelings? If anyone knows that I am having a rough time right now it is him. I don't want to look like a boy in a knit cap. To his defense he said, "well, Waldo is really skinny. I meant you looked cute." ARGH! I don't get it. That sweater was featured in Elle, or InStyle or some fashion magazine, it is so NOT Waldo. But I still changed.
I just want to feel good about my body. Just once.
I know a negative attitude doesn't help, but I don't know how else to feel today.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
I tried my second class at the gym last night - yoga pilates fusion. I liked it! When I was there I didn't necessairly feel like I was doing much but today I am sore in such a good way. I really liked the instructor too. I get nervous about classes cause I feel like everyone is watching you, but this was a good one, lots of people at various levels so I didn't feel so bad. I don't think it burns as many calories as some of the other courses, but it's so relaxing and strengthening. If anyone wants to go sometime, let me know!
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
so i have decided to get into a routine and today i tried my first group fitness class. i was looking online at my gym's classes and today there was a class geared toward basic aerobics and strength exercises and said it was good for those of us who have never done a class before. how could it get any better for me? i am totally intimidated by hot people who are all sweaty and work out hard, i feel like i'm such a putz when it comes to anything choreographed so i thought this class might be just perfect. i went and it was basic and a nice class and i didn't even feel like i was outdone, or looked down upon... but it's probably because it was a class for seniors. i was the youngest participant by decades. it made me feel a little more intimidated at first, but the people were so nice and complimentary and funny, i had a blast!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I have fallen off of the SP wagon, but am excited to jump back on. I realize that before I was spending a lot of time on here trying to accumulate spark points but not really using the info to help me. I also think I had some idea that the more points I got somehow I would lose weight without doing anything.
I feel prepared to start doing my body good by cooking more at home, exercising more by myself and with the dog, and thinking more positively about myself.
Wish me luck.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Today my boyfriend and I are going to close on our first home. I'm so nervous and excited and can barely believe that it's happening. A home-owner! It's crazy to me!
So I went to try on a couple of nice outfits to wear to the closing and all of my clothes feel so tight. I haven't been doing so well on my dieting, I've fallen back into old habits of eating bad stuff at night, and I haven't been making it to the gym. I know it's my fault, but I was actually feeling pretty good about myself, regardless. Whenever this happens I get in such a funk. Today is supposed to be a happy day, a milestone for me, and now all I can think about is how much I dislike how I look. I am destined for failure I think, I just don't know how to change my mindset. I like sugar.
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