Wednesday, December 17, 2014
When I get back to basics, I start out with lots of energy and enthusiasm, which usually drops off after the first month. I'm full of good intentions, strong starts, but not so good on the follow through. This is changing.
You see, when I started this journey on Sparkpeople, I fell into the same routine I had with every other diet. I started strong, then slacked off, then stopped coming altogether. When I was diagnosed with diabetes I came back. I've been back ever since.
One of the biggest obstacles I found for myself was tracking food as I ate it. I'm very rarely home most days between work and activities. It was easy to get off track and not report things I ate because by the time I got home I couldn't remember! Not anymore.
I downloaded the Sparkpeople app for my cell phone. When I am preparing my lunch for work, I scan the barcodes on the items I am using, enter the servings I am taking, and enter it into the program. It's really that easy.
But what about restaurants? Menus don't come with bar codes to scan, so what do I do then? Well, I ask for nutrition information. Most restaurants that I frequent have them available. If they don't, I ask how many ounces of meat (or chicken), vegetables, and side dishes is provided with the meal. I cut the plate in half and box half to come home. Then I can enter into the app while I am at the table (though I really hate doing that at the dinner table). Sounds good, right?
So how come I can't seem to manage to log in my supper at night when I am at home? I miss this one meal every single night! I am right there! I have my app, and I have my laptop, not to mention my tablet all near to hand. And I miss it every night!! Habit. I got in the habit of not logging it. Now I have to break that bad habit and get on track again.
Anything worth having is worth working for. Speaking of work, it's time for me to get to it.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Falling off the wagon is such a strange phrase, or at least I think so. Needless to say, I was a stress eater last night, and I know it. The worst part is that I made the conscious decision to do it.
Long story short, my bank account appears to have been hacked. It's never happy making to have this happen, but it seems even worse at this time of year. I reported it immediately and they opened the investigation. I have a new debit card coming in the mail. I've done everything possible, and now it's a matter of waiting. I did all that yesterday morning. However the stress of it all stayed with me all day.
The migraine hit at 3:30pm. The crankiness hit about 5pm. By 7:30pm, I was in stress eat mode. Food of choice this time? Reduced Fat Wheat Thins. It could have been worse. I could have gone for the mini marshmallows that I picked up for the hot cocoa. But I could have done better. I could have had a glass of water and waited it out. I CHOSE not to.
Yesterday is done. I can't change what I did. Should have, could have and would have won't change a darn thing. I'm disappointed in myself, but I can't beat myself up. I can only move forward.
I'm still somewhat stressed over yesterday's events this morning, but I am NOT going to let it take control. I am in charge of my decisions. I own them. So I will do my best to make better choices today.
Thursday, December 04, 2014
It's a simple question, but the answer is quite elusive to so many of us. I'm a mom, and there isn't anything I wouldn't do to protect my kids. So why don't I feel the same way about myself?
"Mom's are supposed to sacrifice for their kids." To a certain extent, I can agree with that statement. There have been more times than I can count that I decided to patch up that pair of jeans just one more time so that the kids could go to the amusement park with their friends. There have been even more times that I took the smallest portion at dinner to make sure the kids had plenty to eat. Or worse, just didn't eat at all.
I have lived through some extremely lean times. I clearly remember the days of having a total monthly budget for groceries of $25. No, I didn't qualify for food stamps, and I wouldn't have asked for them if I had. I had a job. I had an apartment. I had bills. And I was far too proud for my own good. I was also at an unhealthy low weight. I was a carb junkie. I ate pasta, bread, cereal all the time. I would have a packet of peanut butter crackers for a meal during my lunch break at work. I taught myself nothing by doing this. When the finances got better, I ate more. And more. And more. And it was all the same carb heavy foods. You pretty much know where that got me.
Fast forward to today. I have ALOT of health issues. Losing weight would help alleviate many of them. I've lost some weight, but honestly I haven't really given it my best efforts. I've been half-assing it for far to long, and it's got to stop.
In order to stop this cycle, I need to decide if I am worth fighting for. Sit down and take a long hard look at myself. Am I worth this effort?
You can bet your bottom dollar I am. Time to get to work on what is really important.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Posture says a lot about a person, or so my mother used to tell me. A person who stands straight and tall is a person who is confident in themselves is what she would tell me. Remember trying to walk with a book balanced on your head? I couldn't do it, no matter how hard I tried. I was that kid who slouched in the back of the pictures, trying not to be seen. Did I lack confidence in myself? Heck no...I was horrendously shy! Years of slouching have left me with back pain. That doesn't mean I can't change that now.
I am reminding myself to stand straight and keep my head up. I work to meet the eyes of the people I am speaking with. It's not that I am arrogant. I am being polite. I am letting them know through physical cues that I am fully engaged in the conversation. While I can multitask with the best of them, it's always best to pay attention to the ones who are around you.
While I am making changes, I have noticed something else. Since my hysterectomy, I have noticed a decrease in my flexibility. I used to be incredibly flexible for a heavy woman. I thought nothing of squatting down to talk to a child, or when I worked part time in retail to straighten out a bottom shelf. These days I'm lucky if I can pick something up off the floor if I drop it. Well THAT needs to change.
I am working on a series on stretches designed to help me with my flexibility problem. These include neck stretches, back stretches, arm stretches and yes, even leg stretches. While I am doing these, I am engaging my abs, keeping them tight and working to strengthen them again. I just started this yesterday, so it will be a little bit of time before I see any results.
In the meantime, I will continue to try to balance that invisible book on my head, and pay attention to myself, my body and the people around me.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
There was a time when a stressful situation would have me diving for the food cupboard and eating everything in sight. After the events of yesterday, it would have been one of those times. Only it kind of wasn't.
Did I eat yesterday from stress? Yes. I ate Wheat Thins, and probably more than I should have. What I didn't reach for was the Raspberry Danish in my fridge. Or the chips in the pantry. Not perfect, but better.
I have made good changes in my life. I made these changes for me. I didn't do them for my husband. I didn't do them for my kids. I didn't do them because someone told me to. I did them. For me, if you TELL me to do something I most likely won't. I've always been stubborn like that. It's not a good trait sometimes.
I thank you all for the prayers. My niece and nephews need them desperately. My step brother needs them as well. My ex-sister-in-law's family is struggling to make heads or tails of why she is gone at the age of 40. Truth be told, we will never make sense of the loss of such a young life. The autopsy will reveal the how, but never the why. All we can do is make sure those kids are never left feeling alone and abandoned. I plan to lead by example. They may never see it, as we live so far apart. However, in this world of social media they will eventually see it. That's close enough for now.
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