WAYSOFGRACE   44,458
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WAYSOFGRACE's Recent Blog Entries

And life moves on

Friday, July 25, 2014

I've been getting work early all week, which isn't a bad thing. I've been able to try to focus on the harder to answer problems during the hour it's quiet in my office. I love it when it's quiet! I made some important discoveries in these quiet moments, and I am looking at things from a whole new perspective.

Home life is slightly improved at the moment, but I haven't changed my mind on moving. It's time, and that's that. Worked on a couple of interesting projects sewing last night, and it was not bad at all.

The weather this morning is nice and cool after the thunderstorms we had yesterday evening. I wish it would stay like this, but it's not going to. This weekend will be in the mid 90's with high humidity. Yuck!

Off to try to get some stretching in before the start of the work day. Have a lovely one!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAKAROO 7/26/2014 8:43AM

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1CRAZYDOG 7/25/2014 6:15PM

    y dear, you sound like you're in a better mindset than you were before. AWESOME work on your part. You know, you're keeping a level head and that means you're taking care of yourself. Good for you!!!

Wishing you all good things to come And they will. HUGS!

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KAYDEN45 7/25/2014 7:50AM

    Good luck

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GOLFGMA 7/25/2014 7:42AM

    I'm with you on enjoying the quiet in the early mornings. We do have a lovely morning here in NC and there is a fresh smell to things after a rain. Enjoy the stretching for it is another thing that feels great early in the mornings. Gets us going! emoticon

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Why it's ok to not be perfect

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Perfection is a very subjective state. My idea of perfect is not the same as yours, or your neighbor, or your family members. So why to we keep striving for perfection when it cannot be defined?

I will be the first person to tell you I am NOT perfect. I am not even close to my own idea of perfection, and that's ok. I am a person, which means I am a work in progress. I am changing, every day, for better or even for worse. It's still ok. So long as I am learning something along the way, it can't possibly be wrong. I like to believe that the day I stop learning new things will be the day I die, and even then I will learn something knew. It's all part of growth.

Positive thoughts bring positive energy. Positive energy brings positive work. Positive work brings positive outcomes. So if you want to succeed, you first have to be positive (and saying your positive it won't work is NOT being positive)!

Here's my example of positive in action. As you read yesterday, I am in a completely stressful home environment right now. It's ok. I am positive that I am on a path to better things, and that all this has happened to keep me from stagnating. I KNOW that I am on the right path. Plex, Boo and I are looking at a rental home on Friday, and another one on August 5th. We drove by the second one last night, and we like the look of it on the outside, but it's the inside that matters (just like a person). I'm not going to settle for less, because I am POSITIVE that the right thing for us is out there waiting to be found.

I thank everyone for their supportive words yesterday on my blog. Sometimes I have to say out loud, or in writing, what is eating at me in order to move past the pain and doubt. That's what yesterday was all about. Today is a new day, and yesterday is behind me.

Here's to a productive, positive day!!!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPORT410 7/23/2014 10:11AM

    YOu are right in that no body is perfect, I am fond of saying,'I am human and will and DO make mistakes, there is/was only 1 perfect being and I can't wait until He returns' (Jesus)Keep being positive emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 7/23/2014 9:34AM

    Wishing you luck in your search. You are SOOOOOO right, the right thing is out there for you. I love EVIE4NOW's advice . . . worked with my ML as well. REst her soul, she's departed now and I imagine even 8 yrs. later she's still making peace with some of the choices she made!

Hang in there. You are perfect for you . . . today . . . and like everyone, you are a work in progress, just like me too.

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DSBRIDE 7/23/2014 8:37AM

    I'm glad you are in a more positive place today. Happy within yourself leads to a more contented, stress less life. Go out and have a great day!

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WAYSOFGRACE 7/23/2014 8:21AM

    You're right, Evie. I let her place doubt in myself and my abilities. I valued her opinion more than my own, and I should never have done that, but shoulda, coulda woulda will get me nowhere. I have learned, and I am moving on.

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EVIE4NOW 7/23/2014 7:55AM

  None of us need to be "perfect" only to strive. Personally, I have not in all my years met a "perfect" person and doubt I ever will. That being said, you let your MIL really get to you. I thought I had the MIL from hell but I think yours tops her. lol. Good luck on finding your home. I doubt your MIL will like it much when she has no one to criticize but if she should come over and start in, tell her that your way works best for your family and you are all quite comfortable. If that doesn't shut her up, tell her she can either do it herself or keep her mouth shut about it. I did that and she learned to keep her mouth shut lol.

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I am not what she says I am

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Long story short, Plex and I are looking for a home of our own that can be rented with a move in date of August 1.

My MIL called me a "lazy, unappreciative pig" who's cooking "isn't fit for the dog". This is because we bought televisions for the bedrooms that my daughter and us have been using, at my MIL's suggestion. We didn't stop in the family room to say "Look what we bought", so now we are taking over her entire house according to her and she will not tolerate it.

We have been living in 2 rooms out of the 9 rooms in the house since November. With the exception of bathing things, all of our personal stuff is in the bedrooms. And I do mean EVERYTHING. I've tried to be helpful, but have been told that "it's easier for to clean by myself than to try to teach you how I want it done". I tried to cook, but I use things like spices.

This is the same person who tells me I need to lose weight as she's trying to feed me chocolate cake. She is a contradiction on feet. I am saddened by these events. Up until this point I really had liked her. Sure, she has some quirks but so do I and everyone else on the planet. To have such hurtful things said to me though, in front of my husband, well I can't forget that. I can't look at her without knowing what she really thinks of me. I can't live with that on a daily basis.

I have been crying now for 3 days. I am so hurt. I know moving out on our own, no matter how difficult financially it will be since we were not ready yet, is for the best.

Thanks for reading my vent.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAKAROO 7/23/2014 5:54AM

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KRYSTALLA 7/22/2014 8:34PM

    Do not let her words get to you, as you know that what she said is not true. You are a great person. I hope you and Plex are able to find a new place to live soon.

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VALIENDRA 7/22/2014 2:55PM

    You are definitely not what she thinks or says. You are what YOU think and say. So be strong, it'll be over soon enough and fortunately, when you've all been away for a while, then it'll be more manageable. Good luck ☼

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LIZZY0223 7/22/2014 12:37PM

    That is terrible! I'm so sorry you had to go through that and I hope you find a home asap.

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SILVER_WOLF1221 7/22/2014 12:30PM

    Wow, I am sorry to hear that. Try your best to not let her bring you down. Something is obviously making her miserable and she's taking it out on you. I hope things get better soon emoticon

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WAYSOFGRACE 7/22/2014 11:47AM

    Slimmerjesse,

My wonderful, loving DH does indeed stand up for me being spoken to so disrespectfully. In fact, he had a nearly 2 hour sit down with his mother about this incident, and while she calmed down she will never admit to being wrong or to crossing a line.

It has been my experience that people will say in anger what they truly think but would never dare say in polite company. This is why her words hurt me so much. Plex is nothing like his mother, and he has expressed to me that he wishes he knew where the woman he knew went, because the woman we live with is not the one he remembers.

Be that as it may, the best place for myself, my husband and my daughter to be is in a place of our own, no matter how much we will struggle to get through it. I have worked multiple jobs to survive before, and I am willing to do it again. Hard work is not something I am afraid of, to be sure.

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SLIMMERJESSE 7/22/2014 11:34AM

    How cruel! I assume your DH doesn't stand up for you in being treated respectfully by MIL? Very difficult situation. This is not about you. It's about her issues that she is taking out on you.

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1CRAZYDOG 7/22/2014 11:25AM

    Major emoticon my dear. That is absolutely cruel for your MIL to say. That's all I can say about that.

Wishing you all the luck in the world.

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HMBROWN1 7/22/2014 8:26AM

    I wish you the best. I am sure things will improve greatly once you get out on your own. emoticon

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Reflections

Friday, July 11, 2014

In these early morning hours, I like to have a quite cup of coffee (yes, I still drink it and yes I still love it), and think. I don't think of anything in particular. I just go with whatever pops into my head. It's my time to evaluate, plan, dream. No one disturbs me. There's no one urgently calling me away from my tasks to deal with the latest crisis. It's me time, and I take it every day with pleasure.

Just as important as a healthy body is a healthy mind. To be at peace with yourself is one of the most difficult tasks I have ever taken on, and I am a work in progress. It's not easy to love yourself. This world seems forever in the negative zone, putting you down for your weight, your height, your schooling, your parenting, your choices. In my personal opinion, it's no one's business. If I have the skills needed to do my job, have children who are independent and self sufficient, and am comfortable with my body while I work to improve myself, who has the right to tell me otherwise? There are those who will try.

My husband likes to say that opinions are like butts. Every one has one but not everyone wants to hear it. It brings a smile to my face to think about that, and hear his voice in my mind. Others in my life have said that I am entitled to their opinion. I don't agree, but that's my choice. I blog here, share my opinions, my thoughts, my challenges, my triumphs. When I am writing, it's not that I expect anyone to actually read what I have to say. It's more of a journal for me, but that's not to say that comments left behind by those who take comfort from my words, share my trials, have been there and overcome the obstacle, or just shared enthusiasm are by any means not appreciated. I read every single comment. I may not respond, but your insight helps me on my journey. Thank you for that.

It's time for me to get to work. Thank you , Universe, for giving me another day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 7/11/2014 11:40AM

    O . . . M . . . G . . . Plex is a genius with that quote "Everyone has a butt but not everyone wants to see it!" True dat!

I definitely agree w/your perspective. We have to do the best we can for US and if it doesn't meet somebody elses requirements, well . . . as I like to say . . . tough toenails!

Have a great weekend.

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I'm in a mood....and it's not what you think

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

You've seen it before...I say I'm ina mood and it's usually not a good one. Not today! Yes, I'm in a mood, but it's the mood to be HEALTHIER! Yeah baby!!

I love waking up with energy! This means I got a minimum of 7 hours of sleep. Last night was the first night in a long time it was uninterrupted by bathroom breaks, LOL. All the increased water has to be processed, and it's been in the middle of the night it seems. The fact that I slept all night tells me that I'm on track! Now to make a change *giggle*

I'm getting my 8 glasses a day. Now I'm going for 9. That's right, I am upping my water intake. Why? Why not! It's good for me! It's far better than soda, which I have reduced to one glass a day. It helps my skin stay clear! It's refreshing in the summer heat!

I think that for me once I get something down to routine I need to make a change so I don't get stuck in a rut. Like I said yesterday, when I first started tracking steps I could barely make it to 1500 steps in a day. Now I am averaging between 3500 and 5000 steps in a day. Once I start hitting 5000 steps every day for two weeks, then I will up that to 5500 steps.

Why do it this way? Because big changes are intimidating. Small ones are easier to manage. When I started working with Sparkpeople, I worked on portion control. I lost nearly 30 pounds just doing that alone! I never realized how many calories I was actually eating with some foods. I became aware of what was going into my body, and started making smarter choices. And it wasn't just me.

Plex started the same way I did, and lost over 50 pounds just making better choices. He recently stopped doing that, and we noticed that he began to mindlessly drink soda again. I gently pointed it out to him, and now instead of 4 cans of soda in his lunch bag, it's 2 cans and 3 waters! He admitted that he wasn't paying attention mainly because it was always there so it didn't seem like he was having that much.

Long story short, for myself, and for Plex, small challenges plus being mindful of what we consume is the key to our success. Together we have lost nearly 100 pounds. That's a small person that we were carrying around on our bodies. We've got our eye on the prize of healthier living. How about you?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNIBARG 7/10/2014 12:57PM

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CAKAROO 7/10/2014 5:45AM

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TIKITAMI 7/9/2014 11:39AM

   
It's the small victories that keep us moving forward. We can see that we can do it and it's amazing what it all adds up to

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1CRAZYDOG 7/9/2014 9:19AM

    Awesome . . . for you AND Plex! HUGS

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BOOKLOVINGGIRL 7/9/2014 9:06AM

    emoticon Getting a full night's sleep makes such a great difference. I envy you not getting up in the middle of the night for potty breaks. Love your enthusiasm too!

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DSBRIDE 7/9/2014 8:42AM

    Isn't it funny what a good nights sleep can do! I never realized how important uninterrupted sleep was until it started happening. That's when I put it together with having great days. Wishing you many good dreams!

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AMYWRIGHT78 7/9/2014 8:14AM

    emoticon Good point - it's all about the small steps!!

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JEEP14 7/9/2014 8:12AM

    Good for you!! keep going!!! emoticon

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