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Mild paranoia - ALL Day 9/3/13

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Been mildly to moderately paranoid all day. Affecting speech, typing, eyesight, cooking. Jesus is keeping it under control with Scriptures coming to my remembrance and Tito telling me some, Listened to 20-30 min of Bible and a different Christian P & W Cd from Trinity. Even did low-impact aerobics to it and want to to come up with a cardio workout routine. Woke up at 6 am w/it. Now, it's 3:30 pm and doing Spiritual Warfare (SW). quoting, reading, believing Scripture.

Been listening to Praise & Worship from church all afternoon/evening. It's 9:19 pm; still mildly paranoid but nothing like yesterday. Thank You Jesus!

  


Scriptures for Spritual Warfare - 9/3/13

Tuesday, September 03, 2013



Ephesians 6:10-18 We battle not against flesh and blood but against principalities powers, rulers of the darkness of this world...

No weapon formed against me shall prosper. Is 54:17

I can do all things through Chrisi who strenghens me. Phil 4:13

Be sober. be vigilent, because your adversary, the devil, walks about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8

...if you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free...if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:31-36

For though we walk in the flesh we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ, * and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

,,,greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4

  


Severe Paranoia X2 & Mod X1 - 8/25/13

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Severe paranoia x2 that only sleep cured, x1 that a movie took care of. Evil movie with demons. Christian music no effect anymore; makes it worse. Even more worried about my spiritual life now. I knew I was not living a righteous life, far from Christ. When I was close to Jesus between 2005-2008, evil movies used to upset me (on FIRE for Jesus); then in 2009 -2012 was immune to them, not caring it I watched or not; (Lukewarm). smoked, smoked, and drank and now evil movies are helping ?(COLD - MAYBE there's a tiny, little ember barely glowing, suffocating, almost out) That's not good at all, I need Jesus. I need a REAL spiritual awakening WITH JESUS, not some Higher Power. I'm desperate for Him. Lord, I'm desperate for you. I'm beyond thirsty, I'm dying of thirst. Please help me. Where is the Living Water? What must i do to be saved?

Confess the Lord Jesus with your mouth and believe in your heart God raised him from the dead, and you shall be saved! Romans 10:9

Jesus Christ is Lord and I believe it and confess Him. I believe in my heart that God has raised Him from the dead and that He now lives and wants to make His abode in me!

  


Sep 3, 2013 - Thoughts on paranoia (0530 am)

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

What if i get psychotic & can't get back? What if i go insane?

tito says: you do it to yourself! not willing. I will not. I can do all things...

Not true. Why choose this? Just happens. Can't stop (prevent or cure).

I take Risperidone/risperidol) 3 mg/2 X day. Need heavier dose or something else/something emergency. Now lasts 16 hours+ or more. Can go into days.

Worse over years.

1999 - Started w/music
2000 - Watching eyes everywhere.
2004 - Progressed to voices (Bates) Still eyes.
2005-2009 - Eyes continued thru 2005 - 2009. Christian music helped most, FB helped once in 2009. sometimes movies (was good/innocent/wholesome movies help. Action & syfy even bothered me.
2010-13 EYES, THOUGHTS/LIES, CATATONIC
2013 - Recently evil/demon movies help (Was even grateful - Lord save me)
Sept 2 2013 Now only sleep helps.

  


Sep 2, 2013 Severe Paranoia X3

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

My paranoia (Psychosis) is getting worse and worse. Only sleep cures, even just a little nap, The delusions are so real - can't tell real from unreal, truth from lie. Don't know what to do.

- Put on belt of truth. Ephesians 6:14

It usually starts with 1 thought like....someone/see/look/think about me.. no basis in truth but who cares, doesn't make sense....
Then other thoughts come and I can't tell reality from delusion like...tito/death, ambulance/tito, irma/here,...puppies/drown, etc.

- Put on helmet of salvation. Ephesians 6:17

Made page private again. (public - 1 wk ago):

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God for pulling down of strongholds, casting down arguements and every high thingthay exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ 2 Cot 10:3-6

  


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