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Severe Paranoia X2 & Mod X1 - 8/25/13

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Severe paranoia x2 that only sleep cured, x1 that a movie took care of. Evil movie with demons. Christian music no effect anymore; makes it worse. Even more worried about my spiritual life now. I knew I was not living a righteous life, far from Christ. When I was close to Jesus between 2005-2008, evil movies used to upset me (on FIRE for Jesus); then in 2009 -2012 was immune to them, not caring it I watched or not; (Lukewarm). smoked, smoked, and drank and now evil movies are helping ?(COLD - MAYBE there's a tiny, little ember barely glowing, suffocating, almost out) That's not good at all, I need Jesus. I need a REAL spiritual awakening WITH JESUS, not some Higher Power. I'm desperate for Him. Lord, I'm desperate for you. I'm beyond thirsty, I'm dying of thirst. Please help me. Where is the Living Water? What must i do to be saved?

Confess the Lord Jesus with your mouth and believe in your heart God raised him from the dead, and you shall be saved! Romans 10:9

Jesus Christ is Lord and I believe it and confess Him. I believe in my heart that God has raised Him from the dead and that He now lives and wants to make His abode in me!


Sep 3, 2013 - Thoughts on paranoia (0530 am)

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

What if i get psychotic & can't get back? What if i go insane?

tito says: you do it to yourself! not willing. I will not. I can do all things...

Not true. Why choose this? Just happens. Can't stop (prevent or cure).

I take Risperidone/risperidol) 3 mg/2 X day. Need heavier dose or something else/something emergency. Now lasts 16 hours+ or more. Can go into days.

Worse over years.

1999 - Started w/music
2000 - Watching eyes everywhere.
2004 - Progressed to voices (Bates) Still eyes.
2005-2009 - Eyes continued thru 2005 - 2009. Christian music helped most, FB helped once in 2009. sometimes movies (was good/innocent/wholesome movies help. Action & syfy even bothered me.
2013 - Recently evil/demon movies help (Was even grateful - Lord save me)
Sept 2 2013 Now only sleep helps.


Sep 2, 2013 Severe Paranoia X3

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

My paranoia (Psychosis) is getting worse and worse. Only sleep cures, even just a little nap, The delusions are so real - can't tell real from unreal, truth from lie. Don't know what to do.

- Put on belt of truth. Ephesians 6:14

It usually starts with 1 thought like....someone/see/look/think about me.. no basis in truth but who cares, doesn't make sense....
Then other thoughts come and I can't tell reality from delusion like...tito/death, ambulance/tito, irma/here,...puppies/drown, etc.

- Put on helmet of salvation. Ephesians 6:17

Made page private again. (public - 1 wk ago):

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God for pulling down of strongholds, casting down arguements and every high thingthay exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ 2 Cot 10:3-6


Carbs Necessary

Sunday, September 01, 2013

I basically follow SP's nutrition goals and eat a healthy 50% carbs/30% protien/20% Fat ratio with 75 - 100 grams protein per day. But I must not neglect the carbs, even fast burning carbs for energy to fuel my workouts. Carbs stored in the muscles and liver fuel workouts, but I also find I need a snack prior to working out. Will begin eating a banana 15-30 minutes prior to a workout.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRYJESUS2DAY 9/2/2013 5:56PM


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NELLIEC 9/2/2013 12:59AM

    Sounds like a good idea since bananas also give you potassium, which sometimes is hard to get in the American diet.

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Learn to Love Exercise

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I learned to love exercise during the BLC22. It started with midnight workouts and a workout buddy. At the beginning, I hated it and wasn't consistent. I joined the Official 10-Minute Exercise Streak Challenge and began doing 20 minute workouts, 10 minutes ST videos and 10 minutes SP Cardio Blast DVD. As the days went by, I kept my streak alive with these short workouts. I had found my motivation to exercise. I tried the 80's Aerobic workout on the DVD and fell in love. Memories of days gone by flooded my mind.I was truly having fun now. I started working with greater intensity as I found something I enjoyed. Then I began adding minutes slowly and doubled the time I worked out. This week I'm doing 40 minute workouts and next week i plan on increasing it to 60, Where will I go from there? The sky's the limit!

My advice: Find a time you enjoy working out. Start small and start a streak. Find a workout buddy. And find something you enjoy!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FUSIONFITNESS3 9/1/2013 3:22PM

    Isn't it amazing? I'm amazed how at my age I have learned , dare I say, to love my fitness classes. It's so key to find what motivates you such, such as type of fitness and time of day. Keep up the fabulous work.

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COOLMAMA11 8/29/2013 6:38PM

    emoticon You Rock Girl! emoticon

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KATI5668 8/28/2013 11:35AM

    great words...& yep know what ya mean about finding what you can love.
the music on the Richard Simmons work out DVD's is memory land for me..& I just feel better while doing his work out to music of my youth.

then I got a Country line dancing DVD...I used to love to TwoStep..
when in OK & TX it seemed there was a dance place on every corner & country was the music of the day..I had a partner that was super good & we could close the place down. Those days are gone but the music brings them back..

Sweet memories of days gone by!

Got to dash off to work..but enjoyed your blog very much!

Ta 4 now... emoticon

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ELRIDDICK 8/28/2013 6:57AM

  Thanks for sharing

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