Thursday, December 11, 2008
I have now lost 60 pounds with SP. That gives me a total loss of 91 pounds since I was at my highest weight. I have a new body, a new attitude and a new zest for life. I have more energy, more patience and more attunement to my own body. I have new habits, new preferences and lots of new SP friends. It is truly amazing what can happen in 7 1/2 months with some commitment, a great support network (SparkPeople!) and a belief in oneself.
Monday, December 01, 2008
My husband is facing surgery soon. He is being sent to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore because the surgery is urgent and risky. He has been dealing with skin cancer for over a year. In fact, we can look back at photos taken two years ago and see the red mark on his face that represented the beginning stage of it.
As early as 1.5 years ago, I was pestering him to have it looked at. He kept saying that it was only a scab. When he finally saw a dermatologist (12-20-07), the doctor didn't take a large enough biopsy and after about 6 weeks of waiting for the lab results, it had to be done all over again. At that point I went with him to the doctor. I asked him to go to someone else because I thought the doctor was not particularly competent. He refused. He even asked me to leave the room, because my questioning the doctor made him uncomfortable.
It was finally diagnosed as squamous cell cancer and a cream was prescribed. He used it for weeks to no avail. He had surgery on 6-4-08. He was in surgery so long that a nurse called me from the operating room to tell me that he was okay.
After the final follow-up visit a new lump began to grow right under the surgery site. Craig returned to the surgeon who said that it wasn't cancerous. Last week (the lump is now the size of a small crabapple) he finally went to a new dermatologist who said it is definitely cancerous. He also said that with all the time that has passed and the level of pain that Craig is having the cancer is most likely into the nerve, bone and/or muscle. It could even be in his brain, though I found that out from reading about it, not from my husband.
This appointment was last Wednesday afternoon so they couldn't reach anyone to schedule the surgery due to the holiday. We are waiting now to hear from the dermatologist about the surgery date.
I am scared and I am also fighting back the anger that I feel because Craig would not take care of this when he should. When I tried to advocate for him, he pushed me away. Even after surgery this summer, he stood outside working on our pool without a hat or sunscreen. Now we face this. I have kept quiet with him. I don't want to add to his stress, but I needed to voice my frustrations somewhere. Thanks for listening.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
i have such great news! i went shopping today and since i was alone decided to try on a bunch of clothes. i am solidly in a size 14 pants. they look so great, if i do say so myself. i am thrilled. i have two places to thank for the way i feel today-------sp, of course. i would never have fit into a 14 if not for sp and all i have learned. secondly, i must thank tim gunn's guide to style. without his advice i would not have tried on half of the things i bought. he says to try it all on in order to see what looks good. he is so right. i bought several things today that i would never have even tried if not for his advice and they look really good on me!
Saturday, November 08, 2008
It has been a little over six months since I joined SP. I have lost 53 pounds of flesh in that time and tons of emotional baggage. I think of all the years I spent searching for that "magic bullet" that would make me thin, and all I had to do was live in a state of moderation in all things.
The Spark program gradually introduced me to healthy, moderate living and I began doing it. It is just that simple. I was given a calorie range and a simple way to calculate those calories, and I very rarely stray outside those limits. SP gave me suggestions for exercise, healthy living information and a support system to help me along the way. I have embraced it all and have become a new woman in many ways.
Aside from the weight loss, there have been several other huge benefits of my lifestyle change. The first is that I have at least three times the energy levels I had previously. I never tire in the afternoon as I used to do. I get an incredible amount of work done. I amaze even myself! I also have a much more positive outlook on life and have much greater patience. I never realized that my unhealthy habits was so detrimental in so many important areas of my life.
The other big surprise I got with SP is the realization that I am no longer on "a diet". There is no end to the journey that I am on. I don't want there to be an end. I want to arrive at a healthy weight where I feel and look great, but that won't be the end. I don't ever want to go back to the way I used to live. I want to continue on my new path. When the excess poundage is gone, there will still be new goals to reach. I'll want to tone my body, increase my endurance, strengthen my bones ......who knows, I may run a race, climb a mountain or swim a channel. The whole world has opened up for me, and I am loving life!
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
There is no doubt, you have your hands very full. I totally understand eating your way through stress. I did it my entire life until SP. The best advice I can offer to you is this:
I don't know exactly how it happened, but SP got me to change my habits long enough for me to experience the wonders of good eating habits and exercise. Now I really don't want to eat my stress away because I can clearly see the negative impact that my old habits had on my daily life. Before SP, I had very little energy. I could easily have napped every afternoon. I was nearly always tired and I avoided routine things like running up or down the stairs to get something. I didn't even like walking out to the end of the driveway to get the newspaper or mail. I don't know how I kept up with 3 kids and my job and my home. It is all a blur.
Now I have energy. Even if I have had too little sleep, I jump out of bed and get on with the day. I am in a much better mood all of the time, too. I have more patience and I am less touchy. I never knew that what I put into my mouth could have such a huge impact on every aspect of my life.
I have had tremendous stress at work for the past 6 months. The last three, in particular, have been killers. In 22 years of running my agency I have never encountered this level of problems. If not for SP and my new-found lifestyle I'm not sure that I could have gotten through this. At the very least, I would have been nearly catatonic due to the stress. Instead, I am continuing to take care of myself and the stress is manageable.
I strongly believe that one of the best things you can do is to take care of yourself. It will make you a better person. When you are healthy, you will find more energy, more strength, more patience....... It really has worked for me and it will work for you.
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