Sunday, January 10, 2010
I have been totally motivated again since the day after Christmas. The motivation wasn't just "there", I had to fake it until it came. I knew that I had gained weight since November because my clothes didn't fit properly, but I didn't get on the scales right away. I was afraid that the number I would see there would deflate my already shaky determination. So on 12-26 I simply made up my mind that I would not behave as I had in the past. I would not ignore the signs that were evident in my clothing and in my body and allow my weight to continue to creep up.
Instead, I grabbed onto what I have learned over the past 21 months here at SP. I KNEW that when I ate good, healthy food that I felt better, both physically and emotionally. I KNEW that when I exercised I felt better, both physically and emotionally. I KNEW that if I made myself do these things for several days, the following days would pretty much take care of themselves. I knew I would feel great and my newer, healthier habits would take over and win!
So I did it. Surrounded by the dregs of Christmas and faced with a New Year and its celebrations just around the corner, I said "ENOUGH". I ignored the remaining cookies and sweet rolls, the holiday spirits in the cupboard and the Christmas dinner leftovers and I picked up those wonderful, healthy foods that I have grown to savor, and, instead of feeling deprived, I felt nourished, both physically and emotionally.
I am back on my journey of health and fitness. I don't know how much I had gained because I didn't weigh myself right away. When I finally got on the scales last week, I was up 6.6 pounds from my lowest weight. Today I am down two more pounds. Soon I will be right back to my previous weight and then the number will be even lower because, instead of resigning myself to failure when I slipped off my path, I remembered how far I had already come and refused to go backward any farther.
I remember what it felt like to weigh 295 pounds and what I did to get there. Now, I can also remember what it feels like to eat well and move my body and feel good about my appearance. The choice between the two is a simple one, and I get to choose!