Wednesday, July 15, 2009
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
I found this quote this morning and it really struck a chord with me. I think of how many times in the past I declared my intention to lose weight (either to myself or to others). Then something would happen and I would throw in the towel and go right back to my regular patterns of behavior. I have said this before here at SP, and I don't know if others can relate, but I never really BELIEVED that I could be thin. I wanted to be thin. I hated my body. I hated my habits. I hated feeling miserable about myself. But I didn't believe that I could change all that and make it a permanent change.
Many times I threw in the towel because I had eaten too much in a day or broken some arbitrary rule that I had set for myself. That would be the impetus for me to think that I would always fail, and why should I deprive myself of the things in life that comforted me when I would fail anyway? This was the self-destructive pattern that controlled my life.
I don't know exactly what brought all the stars into alignment that allowed me to find SP, clearly see the fallacy of my thinking, and make my desire to succeed overcome my fear of failure, but I will be forever grateful that it occurred. Diets do fail, but people don't when they set out to change their lives, releasing the fears and embracing belief in themselves.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Today was weigh-in and I am down another .4 pound. I know it isn't a lot of weight, but it is huge to me. I have been in a holding pattern for months. During the past two weeks I have recommitted to my program and made changes, and I have lost weight both weeks. I have been dying to get out of the 190s and this week I went to exactly 190.0. My body will be dragged kicking and screaming into the 180s! Regardless, I am losing weight again, and I am thrilled. This past week was particularly tough because I was at my parents' house taking care of my mother who had knee replacement surgery. I cooked food that my parents like, I dealt with the stress of the situation and I still lost weight! Yippee!!
Friday, July 03, 2009
In the first week of my "new beginning", I dropped 3.7 pounds. I attribute that to decreasing my calorie range back to my earliest Spark range and sticking to it. I have spent the past week taking care of my mother who had knee replacement surgery. I managed to get a walk in at least once a day, sometimes twice and do some weight training while I was with her. I did less well with food, not necessarily going over my calorie range, but the types of food I ate were different from my usual food. My parents eat differently than I do and are pretty set in their ways about it. It was a time when I was just trying to please and take care of them because they were under a time a stress, so we will see tomorrow at weigh-in how that worked for me. Regardless, I am committed to this re-commitment and I will be back to my "new" habits as soon as I am back at home to stay! In the meantime, I will do the best I can with the circumstances before me.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Yesterday was Day 1 for me to begin again. I have felt myself slipping. I wasn't in a head-long fall, but I noticed some old habits popping up here and there. They made me feel uncomfortable and I kept losing and gaining the same three pounds. So it was time for a change. Yesterday was a tough day to begin because it was Father's Day and my husband chose a favorite Mexican restaurant to celebrate.
The first step I took was to readjust my calorie range back to where it was when I first started SP (1200-1550 calories). I did go 20 calories over, but I though that was acceptable given that my first day was spent eating out. It was still less calories than I have been allowing myself for the past few months.
I made time in the afternoon to head to the gym. I spent 65 minutes on the arc trainer and 30 minutes on the elliptical. I also did about 10 minutes of strength training.
I did not spend the evening snacking or thinking about food.
All in all, I thought it was a satisfactory beginning.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
I have been chasing after the same 3-4 pounds now for as many months. I am tired of running (or crawling) in circles. I have recommitted to my partner in this journey and am now doing so publicly. The goals I have set for myself are posted below. They are also on my desk, where I will see them every day. I will post a weekly report here on my blog so that I can be publicly accountable for how I progress on my goals.
1. I will reset my calorie range to a lower level. (done)
2. I will weigh in tomorrow morning. (done)
3. I will post my weight on my ticker. (done)
4. I will do at least 10 minutes of some type of exercise daily.
5. I will have at least 3 days of 1 hour or more of cardio.
6. I will blog at least 3 times a week.
7. I will stop snacking on foods that Have been no-no's to me for the past year.
8. By next Sunday (June 28) I will have lost at least 1.5 pounds or I will write a blog explaining in detail what I have done that sabotaged my efforts.
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