Saturday, July 16, 2011
My eyes have been puffy -- big bags underneath them -- for the past week or so.
I'm not sure why: it's hot; there's lots of pollen out there (so maybe allergies) ; work has been pretty stressful and I haven't been sleeping the best . . . . But whatever the cause, I don't much like those baggy puffy eyes!!
So: tried cold compresses. Tried allergy medications, several different types for sinus congestion etc. Tried cucumber slices, cool tea bags (on a "bags for bags" principle, I guess) . . . and nada. Nothing. Still baggy. Baggier, maybe. Baggiest, even!!
All right, then. Dug out some expensive eye cream from my bottom vanity drawer, all dried out now, probably bought it 10 years ago at least . . . and it was not helpful.
Went to the pharmacy and purchased one of those nifty new roller ball tubes which promise miracles, instantly reviving the eyes, an ageless restorative . . . tiny size, pretty big price tag but no discernible results.
And then googled the problem and found a recommendation for Preparation H cream. The classic remedy for shrinking haemorrhoids, on the bottom shelf -- its yellow and blue box design suggests it's probably been there since 1950 if not earlier. No, not the new-fangled gel. And um no, not the suppository either. Apparently only the Canadian cream formula is effective for this eye-depuffing purpose!!
It's manufactured in Mississauga, ON, contains shark liver oil and "yeast as a live cell derivative". The small tube of Preparation H is about four times the size of the fancy roller ball eye magic tube and cost me about a third the price.
The instructions printed on the Prep H box don't seem to be entirely applicable to this cosmetic application (I'll spare you the details of how and when it's meant to be used for haemorrhoids) and the applicator itself is probably superfluous: in any case, I most certainly didn't use it. At either end.
However: Preparation H did the trick!! Bags gone!! Yay!! Not feeling (and looking) approximately 1, 003 years old!!!
I know, I know. Baggy eyes aren't exactly an earth-shattering problem, but I'm relieved not to have to hide behind my sunglasses anymore. And sure, I'll admit that I'm incorrigibly frivolous and superficial: never pretended to be anything else!!
"Relieves pain and itch", Preparation H promises. The pain of wounded vanity, that itchy discomfort of just not looking my best. (All right, that would be 0nly a 60 year-old best. But there is no need to abandon all efforts just yet.)
Of course I wouldn't want the world to know that I've got Preparation H on my face . . . .
So, let's keep it confidential, OK?