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Moving My Weight Tracker -- UP!!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Oh, my, how I hate to do this.

From my low of 145 to 146 a few days ago: and today up another half pound to 146.5.

But: I promised myself to weigh myself every day (that's what it takes for me: not everybody); and that I would faithfully move my weight tracker every time there was a change in weight.

No more "maintenance range" allowance not "requiring" me to change my weight tracker -- because my weight tracker had stayed at 153 and my actual weight (not weighing) had probably gone up to 162 or 163 before I started my pre-Beck program. And my weight was at 156 on the first Beck weigh-in after 14 days pre-Beck.

So: why am I up 1.5 pounds?

Probably the 145 was a blip not really achieved: a blip downwards.

So that might explain the move to 146. And the additional half pound today?

Last night was a "professional dinner" but I ate carefully, had pre-planned ("guessing" at the likely menu pretty accurately) , and the total calories for the day I estimate at under 1300. Always hard to say if you haven't prepared the food yourself what might be lurking in the braised chopped cabbage or the sauce under the chicken (most of which I left on the plate). Did have a glass of red wine (tracked); did have one bite of the carrot cake (tracked) before sliding the rest of the portion across to my partner in crime (DH, actually!! He can "afford" it!!).

So: maybe last night's dinner just more salty than I'm used to? Maybe a little fluid retention?

Not going to worry about it.

Oh, well. Oh, well. Oh, well.

Have my food all tracked for today. Will eat sitting down, mindfully. Remind myself that hunger is not an emergency.

But: I am keeping an eye on the situation. And dealing with the sabotaging thought: "It doesn't matter. You didn't need to change your tracker. You didn't need to call attention to the increase with this blog".

Because: sure I did. For me. I know that not weighing, not tracking, is a slippery slope to putting on that 10 pounds of yo-yo weight all over again. And that's not happening.

Will slip into my black leather pencil skirt just to keep reminding myself all day long: this matters. To me. This does.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERIKO1908 3/30/2011 11:32PM

    What a fresh attitude. I love it...as of Friday I am back to my daily weigh-ins...only report once a week, but weighing in daily keeps me on track. It is an instant answer to what I did to/for my body the day before. If you consume the sodium it shows the next day & reminds you that more mindfulness & concentration is probably needed...

Keep up all of your hard work...you got this!!

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NANCY- 3/30/2011 10:12AM

    What a wonderful attitude and approach!

Oooo black leather!Talk about incentive. You go GF!


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BRIGHTSPARK7 3/29/2011 11:39PM

    Thanks for keeping it real, Ellen. I'm keeping my weight tracker honest for the same reason: every change counts: up or down I want to record it. I also weigh every day and note all the changes.
And that black skirt sounds yummy.
xx Usha.

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FREELADY 3/29/2011 9:38PM

    Not long ago I was in major denial, so this blog really speaks to me. I will forge on with my quest for honesty and reality.

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QUEENMINA 3/29/2011 6:09PM

  I do the same thing!!! I weigh everyday and I record even the flunctuations. I've sorta, kinda learned to tell weight gains, TALK TO THE HAND, and when the weigh losses happen, I'm ALL OVER THEM.

I don't know about you, but the more used to the numbers I get, the less affected I am by them. Like you, I tried on this old pair of jeans, and they fit so well - were loose even. So I say skinny jeans, trump numbers. Proof's in the Puddin', right?

Also, I read somewhere that dieters who weigh themselves daily lose more weight than those who weigh weekly, monthly and not at all. So Yay for us!

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KRISTI2661 3/29/2011 4:56PM

    Knowing what works for you is what's important. Others may say this is not necessary but we all have to do what we have to do. I admire the fact that you are willing to put it out there - it shows how determined you are and will help you succeed!


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JHADZHIA 3/29/2011 12:46PM

    You are very much reminding me of Marsha in this blog. Micro managing small weight gains. But that can be viewed as being very disciplined and behavior like that will work well in the long run. You will no doubt get this extra weight off in short order.

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TRAVELGRRL 3/29/2011 8:15AM

    Wow, you are a force to be reckoned with!

I admire your fortitude and "no exceptions" approach. I think we all have experienced an increase in weight and have NOT tracked it upward. I myself have 1.5 pounds until I reach what my tracker says! emoticon But at least it's not the 4.5 pounds it once was!

Honesty in this journey is EVERYTHING, and you are definitely setting an example we all need to emulate.

I'm sure the dinner last night was simply saltier than you are used to. Our bodies really react to food we normally don't eat.

Wear that pencil skirt proudly; I'm there with you in my mind!!

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BUSYGRANNY5 3/29/2011 8:11AM

    You have the tools you need to monitor your weight and are wise to know what works for you! I'm confident that you will reach your goals!!


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Chocolate Raspberry Souffle Omelette

Sunday, March 27, 2011

For the last several weeks I've been deliberately upping my protein intake (thanks SWEETIKINS, for the tip) by making Greek style omelettes most mornings for breakfast: a mixture of Naturegg Omega 3 and Simply Egg Whites with low fat feta cheese, Greek seasoning, spinach and hot hot salsa on the side, just to keep things "fusion". Love them -- and I use my folding microwave omelette pan, which makes it all happen fast.

But this morning I was thinking about Professor G, for whom I worked as a young philosophy student; he was close to blind, and needed someone to read his student papers aloud to him for purposes of grading.

I was hired. It was a great job and taught me more about philosophy than any course I ever took: I wrote on his comments (and he was patiently prepared to engage in discussion with me if I had the temerity to disagree!!).

These sessions took place at the university in his office -- with meal breaks for "pizza pie" or "hamburger sandwiches": really, that's what he called them!!

Or, more often, at his home on the weekends. Where he had a beguiling Scottish terrier puppy. And a harpsichord and a clavichord, which he played -- inviting me to play too.

And where he regularly prepared for me incredibly strong coffee in a French plunge coffee maker (that's what started my coffee addiction) with glorious French pastries from a local bakery. Or whipped up sweet dessert style omelettes when more substantial sustenance was required, moving deftly around his kitchen.

What kindness, what sophisticated hospitality to extend to an impoverished young student supporting herself through school! Did I mention he also paid me generously for these services? Amazing!! I'd have been more than happy to do it for food or for nothing at all, and I'm sure that he knew that. (I remembered Professor G during my own teaching years and tried to extend comparable kindness to a number of my own students . . . a far more important lesson even than whatever I'd learned from those asymmetrical philosophy debates! Which he tactfully pretended were occurring between equals).

So this Sunday morning, with extra time on my hands, I decided to experiment with a Professor G-style sweet souffle omelette: chocolate and raspberry.

And then input it into the Spark recipe calculator -- if you eat it all yourself (I did offer to share a bite with DH . . . just one . . . and it wasn't to his taste, too bad so sad) then it's 216 calories and 16 gm of protein per serving. And . . . so so delicious. Mmmmmmmm!!

I believe it would work in a regular omelette pan if you can't find the folding microwave type -- but how easy it is in the microwave. Here's the link:


If you try it, I hope you like it -- some harpsichord music in the background would really help capture the appropriate ambiance!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XENAMY 3/31/2011 7:43PM

  Wow! This just has to be against some rule somewhere... it sounds so decadent... so yummy! And what a beautiful story... thanks for sharing :)

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IMAGINE_IT 3/31/2011 9:13AM

    What a kind Professor you had..and what a Blessing he helped you in so many ways...Hurray for Great Teachers..adn Professors!!
I had to laugh how you quickly shrugged off your Husbands dislike for the Omelette..hahaha..more for you..right?? emoticon
The Omelette sounds like it could be made just for me...love Chocolate..love Raspberries..and all inside an Omelette and only 216cal per serving..plus the Protein (which i need right now!!) PERFECT!! And thank you for sharing the link with us emoticon

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PHEBESS 3/30/2011 12:11PM

    That sounds like an incredible souffle omelette!!!!

And what a sweet sweet prof to work with!!!!

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SLENDERELLA61 3/28/2011 9:57PM

    Great story! I'm sure the recipe is great, too. I am going to try it. Thanks.

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TRYINGHARD1948 3/28/2011 6:00PM

    You brought tears to my eyes Ellen, a delightful and wonderful story. What a wonderful role model the Professor was.

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NANCY- 3/28/2011 9:52AM

    I read the recipe, sounds divine. Love the back story. It is amazing what we can learn from others.

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FREELADY 3/27/2011 4:38PM

    Lovely, lovely story. You made it so vivid. What a feast of memories for all the senses. Reading this was better than a Sunday afternoon classic film.

I love your healthy, generous response, repeating the pattern to bless others. Too often in the past I have stuffed myself , trying to recapture a special experience or setting that is associated with that food. Watching you savor a memory in your balanced relationship with food helps me keep working out of that skewed pattern.

Applause for enjoying this treat without a binge. I am inspired.

It was a pleasure to read this; thank you.

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TBANMAN 3/27/2011 3:21PM

    You had me at "chocolate ..."

Thanks for sharing. emoticon

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FLORABEL 3/27/2011 2:59PM

    "some harpsichord music in the background would really help capture the appropriate ambiance" = LOL!

That's great, your memories + experimenting with your own recipe.

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JHADZHIA 3/27/2011 11:49AM

    What a heart warming story! Enjoy reading this! A wonderful professor and you are paying it forward. A nice legacy!
This recipe sounds wonderful, but too rich for me. I do love how fast eggs cook up in the microwave :)
Enjoy your Sunday!

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Body Proud

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Sing it out loud
You should be proud!

And *blushes* yes, I am.

OK, my body is by no means perfect. It's almost 60, after all. And a decade ago, was some 85 pounds heavier. It's borne two babies. Endured serious illness, and a number of surgeries.

So of course it has some wrinkles, and it has some stretchy saggy stuff.

But still.

I'm enjoying living in my body.

I'm enjoying moving my body.

I'm enjoying dressing my body.

Some of you will know e.e. cummings' great poem, "i like my body . . ." : it's somewhat erotic, so I won't copy and paste it here.

If you'd like to read it, here's the link:


But -- erotic situations aside -- it's good to be in this space. This body. Feeling strong, lean, fluid and flexible.

We sometimes think of ourselves as "ghosts in the machine" -- spiritual or intellectual or emotional entities inside a shell. Truth is, the quality of our spiritual experience, our intellectual prowess, our emotional intensity: all of these are inextricably intertwined with the physical embodiment that moves us -- moves us literally and moves us metaphorically.

Am I an intellectual type? Yup, card carrying and fully credentialed: there is no denying it.

But (and just as important): I like my body. I like being a body.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRAVELGRRL 3/29/2011 10:40AM

    What a great blog! Enjoying success through your eyes. Can't wait to be the one writing this blog in a few months. ;-)

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PENNYAN45 3/28/2011 8:44AM

    You are in an good place - both literally and metaphorically.

It couldn't be better.

I am very happy for you.


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FLORABEL 3/27/2011 2:57PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Love this blog! I forgot that maybe at the end of all this effort, I might feel better, too (versus just be healthier). Thanks for the reminder.

ps: anything by Cummings = instant love. He's amazing.

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PHEBESS 3/27/2011 9:18AM

    SO right! Don't you sometimes feel those thighs and calves working working working and just rejoice in the muscles?? I love that feeling!!!!

I also like that poem - abstractly erotic!

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FREELADY 3/26/2011 10:09PM

    Beautiful ideas, beautifully written.

Rejoicing with you!!

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YOGATIME 3/26/2011 9:39PM

    Hurray for saying this so well!! It is amazing and liberating to be able to live in a body that was and is totally created just for you!

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TRYINGHARD1948 3/26/2011 8:35PM

    You are so right, we are body and soul - just totally miraculous creations - no matter what age, weight, looks or temperament - and you are so right, it is great to celebrate and recognize what we are. Loved this joyous blog.

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ONEKIDSMOM 3/26/2011 8:06PM

    This really resonated, and I'm grateful to you for saying it right out. I'm hearing echoes in my intellectual brain, inside a body I like. Well said, and a great blog! emoticon

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KALIGIRL 3/26/2011 6:31PM

    "Feeling strong, lean, fluid and flexible."
Doesn't get much better than that!

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KRISTI2661 3/26/2011 5:12PM

    Love it! I'm working on getting there - although, I do find myself catching extra glimpses in the mirror as I walk by, so maybe it's closer than I thought.

Excellent blog!

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SLENDERELLA61 3/26/2011 5:10PM

    Awesome!! Feel so good for you! I understand. As a kid I lived so much in my head. I had success in the academic arena, so I left the physical for others. Now I am so much more comfortaxle. I really like living in this xody. Sometimes I get a little sad that I didn't figure it out sooner, yet mostly I'm just glad to xe me now!! (Excuse me - my second letter isn't working, so I'm suxstituting an x!!) -Marsha

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REILLYGIRRRL 3/26/2011 4:58PM

  Great blog.

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Just an Ordinary Day . . .

Thursday, March 24, 2011

. . . and my goodness, how I cherish such days after a time of "crisis"!

My workout felt good: I'm using the 8 km podrunner downloads on the elliptical trainer since running is not working for my knees, and the music keeps me moving efficiently.

I enjoyed my lower body ST routine afterwards, and a little stretch, and a little chatting with my gym buddies, and my post-workout treat: German chocolate cake coffee (no calories).

Followed by my Greek omellette, newspaper, Charlie time, light box on a very cold but sunny morning.

I've got a steady day ahead but no pressing disasters (that I know about yet!!).

Now: what to wear to work?? Hmmmm. Pale yellow wool jacket to inject a note of spring into the day despite the temperature: and olive green pleated skirt, green and yellow silk scarf. OK.

The pleasure and deep comfort of the quotidian:

The trivial round, the common task,
Will furnish all we ought to ask;
Room to deny ourselves, a road
To bring us daily nearer God.


OK, maybe not QUITE as Calvinist as that -- but yeah. Ordinary. Good.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLENDERELLA61 3/26/2011 2:26AM

    Celebrate the ordinary day!! Why, you just did -- beautifully! You workout, your treat, and your outfit all sound wonderful. Here's to many, many more ordinary days!! -Marsha

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JOHAL52 3/25/2011 10:14PM

    Love it, love it. I bet you looked lovely!!

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TEENY_BIKINI 3/25/2011 8:00AM

    I just love it. You are so cool!

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TRAVELGRRL 3/24/2011 7:38PM

    Reveling in the ordinary is an extraordinary talent. It sounds like you had a perfect day!

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KALIGIRL 3/24/2011 1:29PM

    Here's to Good!
(and finding the joy in the ordinary...)

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PHEBESS 3/24/2011 11:12AM

    Some ordinary days would be nice!

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VALERIEMAHA 3/24/2011 9:18AM

    Ahhh....ordinary. I am enjoying my second cup of just-ground Sumatra Blue Batik, strong flavored, full bodied beans with sharp vibrant taste, an exquisite daily ordinary ritual in my life. I will follow in the steps of Calvin, offering a prayer for the ordinary. Can you guess who penned it:


It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

Comment edited on: 3/24/2011 9:24:08 AM

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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

There it was, chirruping loudly in the birch out front of my office when I pulled into the parking lot yesterday.

Clearly a web-savvy robin.

And (ahem) perhaps a tiny bit plump: so maybe a member of SparkPeople?

I'm thinking he had been reading yesterday's blog, and was waiting for me!!

Chirrup chirrup chirrup chirrup!!

(Listen: http://www.birdjam.com/birdsong.php?id=1

And thank you, Maha, for this totally marvellous site!!)

Then off for his cardio . . . flapping vigorously!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOR2BFIT 3/24/2011 8:40AM

    My mother, a devout birdwatcher and listener of bird songs describes the song of the robin as, "Cheerily! Cheerily!". I grew up listing to records in the background- the announcer saying the name of the bird, followed by the bird's song. Can't say it helped me- I just tuned it out. I remember more of my mother's imitations ('Chickadee-dee-dee';
'Drink your tea!' etc)

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BRIGHTSPARK7 3/24/2011 1:01AM

    I love robins too. They remind me of plump respectable gentlemen in tidy scarlet waistcoats. They come through here in flocks. I'm so delighted by your sighting.

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    I'm hoping any robins around here found a good hidey-hole from the blizzard that is happening right now!

No robins sited yet, but I have had my first taste of maple syrup!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHEBESS 3/23/2011 11:36AM

    viva sweet spring!

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NANCY- 3/23/2011 6:53AM

    Thanks for the link. I finally saw a robin as it fly in front of my car. Those robins may get a bit of a surprise, SNOW is in the forecast for today.

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JIBBIE49 3/22/2011 8:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonSPRINGTIME. It is all good.

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KALIGIRL 3/22/2011 1:04PM

    Too fun - they are delightfully plump - maybe a sign of some colder (snowy) days ahead?

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JHADZHIA 3/22/2011 11:48AM

    Awesome! Fantastic start to your day!!

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VALERIEMAHA 3/22/2011 9:55AM

    Ohhhhhhh...wonderful, wonderful!!! A sound of spring.

And here's more on spring to buoy you up until it arrives there in the northerly climes:
(Miount Rundel, Banff National Park)

I am happy with Arkansas weather for a total of four-six weeks per year -- about three weeks in spring and then about the same in fall.

Comment edited on: 3/22/2011 10:09:14 AM

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TRAVELGRRL 3/22/2011 8:29AM

    This is the time of year I really get to brag about Arkansas weather compared to the Michigan I lived in for 48 years!

It will be 80 degrees today. Beautiful.

Of course, in August I will be dying (105 degrees) and you will be bragging, so that's how it goes! emoticon

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GROEDER 3/22/2011 8:19AM

    Happy Spring to you!!!
I haven't seen a robin yet. There is too much snow blowing around today!! Yes - we are having another blizzard. YUK!!! LOL

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