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Body Proud

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Sing it out loud
You should be proud!

And *blushes* yes, I am.

OK, my body is by no means perfect. It's almost 60, after all. And a decade ago, was some 85 pounds heavier. It's borne two babies. Endured serious illness, and a number of surgeries.

So of course it has some wrinkles, and it has some stretchy saggy stuff.

But still.

I'm enjoying living in my body.

I'm enjoying moving my body.

I'm enjoying dressing my body.

Some of you will know e.e. cummings' great poem, "i like my body . . ." : it's somewhat erotic, so I won't copy and paste it here.

If you'd like to read it, here's the link:


But -- erotic situations aside -- it's good to be in this space. This body. Feeling strong, lean, fluid and flexible.

We sometimes think of ourselves as "ghosts in the machine" -- spiritual or intellectual or emotional entities inside a shell. Truth is, the quality of our spiritual experience, our intellectual prowess, our emotional intensity: all of these are inextricably intertwined with the physical embodiment that moves us -- moves us literally and moves us metaphorically.

Am I an intellectual type? Yup, card carrying and fully credentialed: there is no denying it.

But (and just as important): I like my body. I like being a body.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRAVELGRRL 3/29/2011 10:40AM

    What a great blog! Enjoying success through your eyes. Can't wait to be the one writing this blog in a few months. ;-)

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PENNYAN45 3/28/2011 8:44AM

    You are in an good place - both literally and metaphorically.

It couldn't be better.

I am very happy for you.


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FLORABEL 3/27/2011 2:57PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Love this blog! I forgot that maybe at the end of all this effort, I might feel better, too (versus just be healthier). Thanks for the reminder.

ps: anything by Cummings = instant love. He's amazing.

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PHEBESS 3/27/2011 9:18AM

    SO right! Don't you sometimes feel those thighs and calves working working working and just rejoice in the muscles?? I love that feeling!!!!

I also like that poem - abstractly erotic!

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FREELADY 3/26/2011 10:09PM

    Beautiful ideas, beautifully written.

Rejoicing with you!!

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YOGATIME 3/26/2011 9:39PM

    Hurray for saying this so well!! It is amazing and liberating to be able to live in a body that was and is totally created just for you!

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TRYINGHARD1948 3/26/2011 8:35PM

    You are so right, we are body and soul - just totally miraculous creations - no matter what age, weight, looks or temperament - and you are so right, it is great to celebrate and recognize what we are. Loved this joyous blog.

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ONEKIDSMOM 3/26/2011 8:06PM

    This really resonated, and I'm grateful to you for saying it right out. I'm hearing echoes in my intellectual brain, inside a body I like. Well said, and a great blog! emoticon

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KALIGIRL 3/26/2011 6:31PM

    "Feeling strong, lean, fluid and flexible."
Doesn't get much better than that!

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KRISTI2661 3/26/2011 5:12PM

    Love it! I'm working on getting there - although, I do find myself catching extra glimpses in the mirror as I walk by, so maybe it's closer than I thought.

Excellent blog!

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SLENDERELLA61 3/26/2011 5:10PM

    Awesome!! Feel so good for you! I understand. As a kid I lived so much in my head. I had success in the academic arena, so I left the physical for others. Now I am so much more comfortaxle. I really like living in this xody. Sometimes I get a little sad that I didn't figure it out sooner, yet mostly I'm just glad to xe me now!! (Excuse me - my second letter isn't working, so I'm suxstituting an x!!) -Marsha

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REILLYGIRRRL 3/26/2011 4:58PM

  Great blog.

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Just an Ordinary Day . . .

Thursday, March 24, 2011

. . . and my goodness, how I cherish such days after a time of "crisis"!

My workout felt good: I'm using the 8 km podrunner downloads on the elliptical trainer since running is not working for my knees, and the music keeps me moving efficiently.

I enjoyed my lower body ST routine afterwards, and a little stretch, and a little chatting with my gym buddies, and my post-workout treat: German chocolate cake coffee (no calories).

Followed by my Greek omellette, newspaper, Charlie time, light box on a very cold but sunny morning.

I've got a steady day ahead but no pressing disasters (that I know about yet!!).

Now: what to wear to work?? Hmmmm. Pale yellow wool jacket to inject a note of spring into the day despite the temperature: and olive green pleated skirt, green and yellow silk scarf. OK.

The pleasure and deep comfort of the quotidian:

The trivial round, the common task,
Will furnish all we ought to ask;
Room to deny ourselves, a road
To bring us daily nearer God.


OK, maybe not QUITE as Calvinist as that -- but yeah. Ordinary. Good.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLENDERELLA61 3/26/2011 2:26AM

    Celebrate the ordinary day!! Why, you just did -- beautifully! You workout, your treat, and your outfit all sound wonderful. Here's to many, many more ordinary days!! -Marsha

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JOHAL52 3/25/2011 10:14PM

    Love it, love it. I bet you looked lovely!!

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TEENY_BIKINI 3/25/2011 8:00AM

    I just love it. You are so cool!

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TRAVELGRRL 3/24/2011 7:38PM

    Reveling in the ordinary is an extraordinary talent. It sounds like you had a perfect day!

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KALIGIRL 3/24/2011 1:29PM

    Here's to Good!
(and finding the joy in the ordinary...)

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PHEBESS 3/24/2011 11:12AM

    Some ordinary days would be nice!

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VALERIEMAHA 3/24/2011 9:18AM

    Ahhh....ordinary. I am enjoying my second cup of just-ground Sumatra Blue Batik, strong flavored, full bodied beans with sharp vibrant taste, an exquisite daily ordinary ritual in my life. I will follow in the steps of Calvin, offering a prayer for the ordinary. Can you guess who penned it:


It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

Comment edited on: 3/24/2011 9:24:08 AM

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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

There it was, chirruping loudly in the birch out front of my office when I pulled into the parking lot yesterday.

Clearly a web-savvy robin.

And (ahem) perhaps a tiny bit plump: so maybe a member of SparkPeople?

I'm thinking he had been reading yesterday's blog, and was waiting for me!!

Chirrup chirrup chirrup chirrup!!

(Listen: http://www.birdjam.com/birdsong.php?id=1

And thank you, Maha, for this totally marvellous site!!)

Then off for his cardio . . . flapping vigorously!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOR2BFIT 3/24/2011 8:40AM

    My mother, a devout birdwatcher and listener of bird songs describes the song of the robin as, "Cheerily! Cheerily!". I grew up listing to records in the background- the announcer saying the name of the bird, followed by the bird's song. Can't say it helped me- I just tuned it out. I remember more of my mother's imitations ('Chickadee-dee-dee';
'Drink your tea!' etc)

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BRIGHTSPARK7 3/24/2011 1:01AM

    I love robins too. They remind me of plump respectable gentlemen in tidy scarlet waistcoats. They come through here in flocks. I'm so delighted by your sighting.

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    I'm hoping any robins around here found a good hidey-hole from the blizzard that is happening right now!

No robins sited yet, but I have had my first taste of maple syrup!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHEBESS 3/23/2011 11:36AM

    viva sweet spring!

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NANCY- 3/23/2011 6:53AM

    Thanks for the link. I finally saw a robin as it fly in front of my car. Those robins may get a bit of a surprise, SNOW is in the forecast for today.

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JIBBIE49 3/22/2011 8:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonSPRINGTIME. It is all good.

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KALIGIRL 3/22/2011 1:04PM

    Too fun - they are delightfully plump - maybe a sign of some colder (snowy) days ahead?

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JHADZHIA 3/22/2011 11:48AM

    Awesome! Fantastic start to your day!!

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VALERIEMAHA 3/22/2011 9:55AM

    Ohhhhhhh...wonderful, wonderful!!! A sound of spring.

And here's more on spring to buoy you up until it arrives there in the northerly climes:
(Miount Rundel, Banff National Park)

I am happy with Arkansas weather for a total of four-six weeks per year -- about three weeks in spring and then about the same in fall.

Comment edited on: 3/22/2011 10:09:14 AM

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TRAVELGRRL 3/22/2011 8:29AM

    This is the time of year I really get to brag about Arkansas weather compared to the Michigan I lived in for 48 years!

It will be 80 degrees today. Beautiful.

Of course, in August I will be dying (105 degrees) and you will be bragging, so that's how it goes! emoticon

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GROEDER 3/22/2011 8:19AM

    Happy Spring to you!!!
I haven't seen a robin yet. There is too much snow blowing around today!! Yes - we are having another blizzard. YUK!!! LOL

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Listening for Robins

Monday, March 21, 2011

I hear them. I just haven't seen one yet.

It's a cold morning, with semi-solid rain pouring down from a grey sky: and I've got my light-box on!

The north wind shall blow
And we shall have snow
And what will the robin do then, poor thing?
He'll sit in a barn
And keep himself warm
And hide his head
Under his wing, poor thing
And hide his head
Under his wing.

The persistence of poems and songs from early childhood: my days were filled with them.

We'll be putting out some robin fruits (chopped orange, berries) since the bird seed doesn't appeal to them, and it's waaaay too cold for worms!!

We had a rather eventful Sunday, with the office flood alarm going off repeatedly, sump pump overwhelmed, water pouring into the basement: it turned out that there was a broken water main in the boulevard in front of the building which was super-saturating the ground.

Nothing serious in comparison with earthquake/tsunami/nuclear melt-down. Nothing serious. Remarkably pleasant plumber turning out to help with temporary fix for the sump pump, remarkably pleasant municipal employee digging temporary trench out front to divert the worse of it; permanent repairs (for both) to occur today; nothing damaged in our basement.

And of course all of this sogginess is much appreciated by the robins!!

Which reminds me of:

Robin in the rain,
Such a saucy fellow.
Robin in the rain,
Mind your socks of yellow.
Running through the garden
With his nimble feet,
Digging in the garden
With his long strong beak.
Robin in the rain,
You don't mind the weather.
Showers only make you gay.
But I bet the worms are wishing
You would stay at home.
Robin on a rainy day
(Don't get your feet wet)
Robin on a rainy day!

I'm thinking that these robins may need their snow boots, actually!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOHAL52 3/25/2011 10:15PM

    It was always so exciting, watching for the first robin in Montreal. That splash of red against the dirty grey snow, his hopping around in the backyard listening for birds. My mom loved robins--whenever I see one I think of her.

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JIBBIE49 3/22/2011 8:19PM


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VALERIEMAHA 3/22/2011 12:49AM

    Oh my! I haven't been receiving your blogs for *at least three pages!* It was during the Beck series...and papers and mid-terms were rearing their heads and other things started sliding. I just finished reading through the last two pages of your blogs -- wonderful prose and at times startling wisdom, with lots of juicy story-telling and humor gluing it all together.

Now here's the epitome of ignorance: I've never known that robins sing. In fact I thought they did NOT. How wrong I was!!!!!!!!!!!!


I now recognize that wonderful varied song, having heard it many times over, but not giving credit where credit was due.

Thanks for all you offer this community, from aestheticism on one side of the balance to pragmatism on the other!

Comment edited on: 3/22/2011 1:07:54 AM

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KALIGIRL 3/21/2011 1:02PM

    Can't have a better attitude than that!
(Robins are FAT this spring...)

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NANCY- 3/21/2011 10:41AM

    Reading about robins as the spring snow is falling here, reminds me that what we expect is not always what we get.

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AMCG2002 3/21/2011 10:33AM

    Thanks for the Robin poems! I was out for a brick workout Friday and a long run on Saturday and heard them both times. when I hear them sing I think of The Secret Garden and the promise of beautiful days to come. Soon, very soon!!

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JHADZHIA 3/21/2011 10:30AM

    Love the poems! No robins here yet, except the nutters that overwinter. Apparently there are some, but I have never seen them, guess you have to be a dedicated bird watcher. Still cold, below normal, cloudy with a little bit of snow forecast for today and tomorrow. No sign of spring here yet.
Glad nothing was damaged in your basement. Its that time of the year again for breaks :(. My Mom has been lucky they haven't had one, as her neighborhood is notorious for it, we see the barricades up every year down the various blocks.
Enjoy your Monday!

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KRISTI2661 3/21/2011 10:29AM

    Great attitude in the face of your strife.

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DONNACFIT 3/21/2011 9:13AM

    Love the robin poems...I've seen geese fly over and a golden eagle, too...amd a gopher..sure signs of spring!!!
Better than the winter storm warnings we have for the next couple days!!! We had new snow yesterday, too!
emoticon yes

emoticon no

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TRAVELGRRL 3/21/2011 8:14AM

    It's a sure sign of spring when the poems/songs about robins come rushing back from childhood!

I'm glad the office flood didn't cause any permanent damage -- how nice to encounter pleasant workers on a Sunday no less! You have such a great attitude, and really, doesn't attitude define everything?

Hope repairs go well today!

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NUTRON3 3/21/2011 7:40AM

    I am glad it is warm where i live.

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Joyous Exuberance

Sunday, March 20, 2011

That's pretty much been my mood for the past couple of days, and I'm enjoying it.

"Many a green isle needs must be
In the deep wide sea of Misery,
Or the mariner, worn and wan,
Never thus could voyage on . . . "

That's Percy Bysshe Shelley, the early 19th Century British Romantic poet, from " Lines Written among the Euganean Hills"-- always just a tad self-dramatizing, don't you think? Don't think of my life as a "deep wide sea of Misery" ever -- but nevetheless, there are moments of rest and respite which do feel like that "green isle" and heaven knows we need 'em. Yes we do!! In order to continue with that "voyage on". Which Shelley in fact, didn't -- dying poetically young at age 30. Never really had time to grow up. Growing up being hard work, ongoing, never ending . . . even at almost twice that age.

My weight is stable for now at 145 -- love the way that feels. Had my size six black jeans on yesterday!! And received a compliment leaving the gym: "Hello there, skinny Minny!"

Although yes, I'm preparing for/anticipating even, that inevitable blip upwards. To which when it happens I will say "Oh, well".

Because: I'm continuing to hide trigger foods, preplan nutrition and fitnes, sit down to eat, tolerate hunger, and spend the time required to identify/cope with sabotaging thoughts.

Of which sabotaging thoughts the most frequent still is: this all takes too much time.

And to which my best rejoinder is: yeah, about 10 extra minutes a day, That's all.

Whereas being heavier than I want takes 24/7. Lugging around excess weight.

My sister and I are planning to spend next Saturday together: yippee!! Shopping to be involved. Coffee also in huge quantities. And giggling, cackling, snorting: general hilarity!

Will be fun!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 3/22/2011 8:20PM

    emoticonIt is good to have a sister.

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JHADZHIA 3/21/2011 10:34AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Well done on the lifestyle commitment!!
Enjoy your super spring!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BRIGHTSPARK7 3/20/2011 9:55PM

    YAAAAAY! Cheering with you my joyful friend - for many reasons, and for no reason. Your happiness is infectious and I find myself smiling as I read your blog. emoticon
Glad you are you.

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emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KALIGIRL 3/20/2011 8:44PM

    Sounds like you're in a great place - enjoy it - you've earned it!

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NANCY- 3/20/2011 12:04PM

    Enjoy! You deserve the brightness.
As far as when the "oh well" strikes... you have the tools to address it.
Celebrate Spring as the new you that you are,


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TRAVELGRRL 3/20/2011 10:25AM

    I too am feeling a general feeling of exuberance; could it be SPRING????

You are just doing SO WELL with the Beck book -- as I work through the Estrich book I see so many similarities, although Estrich is a little more unforgiving and forceful! Exactly what I need right now.

Thanks for sharing the link to your blog on this book; I'm definitely going to blog on this as I get further along.

Congrats on the size 6 skinny jeans!!! That is an AWESOME reward for the 10 extra minutes a day!!


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