Saturday, March 26, 2011
Sing it out loud
You should be proud!
And *blushes* yes, I am.
OK, my body is by no means perfect. It's almost 60, after all. And a decade ago, was some 85 pounds heavier. It's borne two babies. Endured serious illness, and a number of surgeries.
So of course it has some wrinkles, and it has some stretchy saggy stuff.
I'm enjoying living in my body.
I'm enjoying moving my body.
I'm enjoying dressing my body.
Some of you will know e.e. cummings' great poem, "i like my body . . ." : it's somewhat erotic, so I won't copy and paste it here.
If you'd like to read it, here's the link:
But -- erotic situations aside -- it's good to be in this space. This body. Feeling strong, lean, fluid and flexible.
We sometimes think of ourselves as "ghosts in the machine" -- spiritual or intellectual or emotional entities inside a shell. Truth is, the quality of our spiritual experience, our intellectual prowess, our emotional intensity: all of these are inextricably intertwined with the physical embodiment that moves us -- moves us literally and moves us metaphorically.
Am I an intellectual type? Yup, card carrying and fully credentialed: there is no denying it.
But (and just as important): I like my body. I like being a body.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
. . . and my goodness, how I cherish such days after a time of "crisis"!
My workout felt good: I'm using the 8 km podrunner downloads on the elliptical trainer since running is not working for my knees, and the music keeps me moving efficiently.
I enjoyed my lower body ST routine afterwards, and a little stretch, and a little chatting with my gym buddies, and my post-workout treat: German chocolate cake coffee (no calories).
Followed by my Greek omellette, newspaper, Charlie time, light box on a very cold but sunny morning.
I've got a steady day ahead but no pressing disasters (that I know about yet!!).
Now: what to wear to work?? Hmmmm. Pale yellow wool jacket to inject a note of spring into the day despite the temperature: and olive green pleated skirt, green and yellow silk scarf. OK.
The pleasure and deep comfort of the quotidian:
The trivial round, the common task,
Will furnish all we ought to ask;
Room to deny ourselves, a road
To bring us daily nearer God.
OK, maybe not QUITE as Calvinist as that -- but yeah. Ordinary. Good.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
There it was, chirruping loudly in the birch out front of my office when I pulled into the parking lot yesterday.
Clearly a web-savvy robin.
And (ahem) perhaps a tiny bit plump: so maybe a member of SparkPeople?
I'm thinking he had been reading yesterday's blog, and was waiting for me!!
Chirrup chirrup chirrup chirrup!!
And thank you, Maha, for this totally marvellous site!!)
Then off for his cardio . . . flapping vigorously!!
Monday, March 21, 2011
I hear them. I just haven't seen one yet.
It's a cold morning, with semi-solid rain pouring down from a grey sky: and I've got my light-box on!
The north wind shall blow
And we shall have snow
And what will the robin do then, poor thing?
He'll sit in a barn
And keep himself warm
And hide his head
Under his wing, poor thing
And hide his head
Under his wing.
The persistence of poems and songs from early childhood: my days were filled with them.
We'll be putting out some robin fruits (chopped orange, berries) since the bird seed doesn't appeal to them, and it's waaaay too cold for worms!!
We had a rather eventful Sunday, with the office flood alarm going off repeatedly, sump pump overwhelmed, water pouring into the basement: it turned out that there was a broken water main in the boulevard in front of the building which was super-saturating the ground.
Nothing serious in comparison with earthquake/tsunami/nuclear melt-down. Nothing serious. Remarkably pleasant plumber turning out to help with temporary fix for the sump pump, remarkably pleasant municipal employee digging temporary trench out front to divert the worse of it; permanent repairs (for both) to occur today; nothing damaged in our basement.
And of course all of this sogginess is much appreciated by the robins!!
Which reminds me of:
Robin in the rain,
Such a saucy fellow.
Robin in the rain,
Mind your socks of yellow.
Running through the garden
With his nimble feet,
Digging in the garden
With his long strong beak.
Robin in the rain,
You don't mind the weather.
Showers only make you gay.
But I bet the worms are wishing
You would stay at home.
Robin on a rainy day
(Don't get your feet wet)
Robin on a rainy day!
I'm thinking that these robins may need their snow boots, actually!!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
That's pretty much been my mood for the past couple of days, and I'm enjoying it.
"Many a green isle needs must be
In the deep wide sea of Misery,
Or the mariner, worn and wan,
Never thus could voyage on . . . "
That's Percy Bysshe Shelley, the early 19th Century British Romantic poet, from " Lines Written among the Euganean Hills"-- always just a tad self-dramatizing, don't you think? Don't think of my life as a "deep wide sea of Misery" ever -- but nevetheless, there are moments of rest and respite which do feel like that "green isle" and heaven knows we need 'em. Yes we do!! In order to continue with that "voyage on". Which Shelley in fact, didn't -- dying poetically young at age 30. Never really had time to grow up. Growing up being hard work, ongoing, never ending . . . even at almost twice that age.
My weight is stable for now at 145 -- love the way that feels. Had my size six black jeans on yesterday!! And received a compliment leaving the gym: "Hello there, skinny Minny!"
Although yes, I'm preparing for/anticipating even, that inevitable blip upwards. To which when it happens I will say "Oh, well".
Because: I'm continuing to hide trigger foods, preplan nutrition and fitnes, sit down to eat, tolerate hunger, and spend the time required to identify/cope with sabotaging thoughts.
Of which sabotaging thoughts the most frequent still is: this all takes too much time.
And to which my best rejoinder is: yeah, about 10 extra minutes a day, That's all.
Whereas being heavier than I want takes 24/7. Lugging around excess weight.
My sister and I are planning to spend next Saturday together: yippee!! Shopping to be involved. Coffee also in huge quantities. And giggling, cackling, snorting: general hilarity!
Will be fun!!!
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