Sunday, March 20, 2011
That's pretty much been my mood for the past couple of days, and I'm enjoying it.
"Many a green isle needs must be
In the deep wide sea of Misery,
Or the mariner, worn and wan,
Never thus could voyage on . . . "
That's Percy Bysshe Shelley, the early 19th Century British Romantic poet, from " Lines Written among the Euganean Hills"-- always just a tad self-dramatizing, don't you think? Don't think of my life as a "deep wide sea of Misery" ever -- but nevetheless, there are moments of rest and respite which do feel like that "green isle" and heaven knows we need 'em. Yes we do!! In order to continue with that "voyage on". Which Shelley in fact, didn't -- dying poetically young at age 30. Never really had time to grow up. Growing up being hard work, ongoing, never ending . . . even at almost twice that age.
My weight is stable for now at 145 -- love the way that feels. Had my size six black jeans on yesterday!! And received a compliment leaving the gym: "Hello there, skinny Minny!"
Although yes, I'm preparing for/anticipating even, that inevitable blip upwards. To which when it happens I will say "Oh, well".
Because: I'm continuing to hide trigger foods, preplan nutrition and fitnes, sit down to eat, tolerate hunger, and spend the time required to identify/cope with sabotaging thoughts.
Of which sabotaging thoughts the most frequent still is: this all takes too much time.
And to which my best rejoinder is: yeah, about 10 extra minutes a day, That's all.
Whereas being heavier than I want takes 24/7. Lugging around excess weight.
My sister and I are planning to spend next Saturday together: yippee!! Shopping to be involved. Coffee also in huge quantities. And giggling, cackling, snorting: general hilarity!
Will be fun!!!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Suffice it to say, these past few weeks I've been waiting for medical tests. Lump.
And: got the results today. No worries.
I'd told myself it "would be nothing" but clearly didn't entirely convince myself.
Because now I know: I'm feeling totally relieved.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I pretty much just take it for granted: I never want to work out. Any motivation which I experience is always "after acquired": after I've done it. Never before.
And now there's scientific evidence which explains this phenomenon: see this article from today's Globe and Mail:
In a nutshell: we're programmed by evolution to conserve energy, and not to waste it. That's in case a mastodon charges at us just after the treadmill workout when we're all pooped out. (Hasn't happened to me yet -- but just sayin'). The brain has evolved to protect us against needless expenditure of energy. Why should I get up off the couch to run if there's no immediate danger?? All of this means there is a perfectly a legitimate physical aversion to engaging in unnecessary effort. Sounds like a watertight excuse, right?
The "Catch 22" here is: your brain doesn't function properly without exercise. So it's only IF you exercise that your brain will work well enough to remind you BEFORE you exercise as to why you NEED to exercise in the long run for other perfectly legitimate reasons -- such as preventing heart disease, increasing muscle strength, warding off diabetes, controlling weight gain. Or something like that. (My own brain is experiencing fuzzy thinking: I didn't make it to the gym this morning, still in flu-recovery mode. Will get there, though: will do it!!).
The resistance to exercise reminds me of the person who doesn't use a bike helmet. Because, presumably, no brains to protect anyhow. Gotta be the reason.
I was so hopeful when I read the headline, "Can't motivate yourself to run? Blame evolution." Turns out, however, that evolution won't give us a free pass. Still gotta do it. The motivation comes after the fact -- when the brain is working properly again. And the endorphins have kicked in!!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
It's too soon, temperature-wise, to wear spring clothes - but I've certainly wanted to rotate out some of the winteriest tweed and flannel things because they don't fit my mood of pending-spring euphoria! There are certain colours, as well, that are kind of autumnal and just don't feel right, by mid-March -- ambers/sage greens/golds: all the "fall foliage" tones. So they've been moved out of my current closet as well.
And while in that process, I tried on a number of spring/summer items which with my weight loss will all be wearable:
Cream wool skirt, very sleek with fan pleat at the back;
Summer cotton pencil skirt in coral; another in lavender;
Fluttery pleated yellow organza skirt;
Pale green pants;
Pale yellow pants;
Cute golf skirt, bright red;
Cream brocade skirt suit with pearl and gold buttons, sweetheart neckline;
. . . and quite a few more.
(No, no, no: I don't BUY all these clothes: I'm the willing recipient of cast-offs from various kind gfs' closets!!)
So I've tried 'em on, thought about accessories, mentally integrated them into my spring. This is an exercise (not on the fitness tracker . . . ) which will inspire me to maintain.
Because, if I put weight back on before the weather warms up -- won't happen!! Won't be wearing these spring clothes at all!!
Silly, frivolous, vain: all of the above. But whatever works, right? Whatever works!!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
So if it's going to take me weeks -- or more likely, months -- to come to the natural plateau at which I don't lose any more weight, that means I'll be continuing on my Beck program for the foreseeable future.
Blogs will be more sporadic -- and (yes, I write this with some relief which is I'm sure shared by my most faithful readers!! ) on other topics -- until I get to that "staying at the new weight" point.
Bottom line: it's not just about sustainable weight. I know too that I need a sustainable exercise and eating plan that I can live with for the rest of my life.
And I also know that at my age my metabolism HAS slowed -- despite ST and cardio -- so that my maintenance calorie range is going to be relatively low. It helps to track calcium and various vitamins and minerals and fibre as well as protein/carbs/fats so that I can supplement as necessary: a multi-vitamin pill, extra calcium or D when needed, etc.
To be resisted: that unreasonable, perfectionist "I wanna be thinner" drive. Invidious comparisons of myself with other thinner people whose life circumstances or metabolisms make it possible to be achieve weights I cannot sustain. That way lies only persistent and unnecessary unhappiness which will ultimately (and perversely) result in giving up. Which will in turn result in weight gain and potentially in other negative health consequences.
To be embraced: a rich life in which a reasonable body weight is only one of many satisfactions. Together with that "oh well" which represents acceptance of the possible and the sustainable in the weight department!
A couple of cautions: Beck says she has never worked with a dieter who can stop tracking and maintain weight. She warns that in her experience "hunger" or "listening to your body" is never a reliable guide to how much you should eat.
She also indicates that those who are most successful in maintaining weight loss eat pretty much the same things day after day: maybe three different breakfast/lunch choices, six or eight different dinner choices most of the time.
That would be me: sounds boring, but sameness works for me so long as I change up the vegetables in the lunch salads, the seasonings in the dinner soups. It's my thought that spending a lot of time thinking about different recipes/menus/restaurant options only triggers cravings for foods. Better not to expand my choices!!
So: it's goodbye to Beck blogging for awhile, but not goodbye to Beck for me. I'll be staying the course, reporting back when I plateau and determine my "sustainable weight" and then maintaining without yo-yoing within a 3 pound range (Beck's magic number -- I had been permitting a 5-8 pound maintenance range, which kept creeping up from there). That's my plan. I'll be weighing daily and posting changes faithfully on my weight tracker.
Snowdrops!! There are snowdrops blooming in my garden! And I have been hearing chickadees experimenting with their "Sweet spring" call, although so far somewhat tentatively (with a few "dee dee dees" tacked on to the end . . . )
I'm loving the longer sunshine after work with daylight savings time.
Would we enjoy spring so much if we hadn't earned it by enduring the rigours of winter? And after all my cross-country skiing, I may be enjoying the winter to spring transition more than ever this year.
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