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Weigh In, Saying No to Food Pushers: Beck Day 29

Monday, February 28, 2011

Weight: 153.

Wah. Wah. WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH11

Oh, well. Oh, well. Oh, well.

I'm over it now. Up a pound from last week, just like Beck told me was possible. With the exception of eating those roasted veggies standing up (could not have been even 300 calories, probably less than half that) I was completely compliant with the program all week: measuring food, within calorie range, exercising diligently.

So be it. My ticker is changed. I've graphed it in my workbook. The scales will come down again. And lower. Yes they will.

Beck is launching into a week of solving "real life" problems -- the first of which is dealing with food pushers.

Food pushers are not too much of a problem for me, really. I refuse to socialize with people who make me eat. I refuse to entertain people who require to be fed elaborately in my home. I would prefer social events to be focused on something other than eating: a trip to an art gallery, or a play, or out shopping, or to the gym, or a walk in the woods, or a cross country ski, or golfing. There are lots of terrific options. Then I'm happy to pick up the cheque in a restaurant afterwards and my guest is certainly encouraged to order whatever he or she wants -- so long as I am accorded the same respect about what I choose to eat for myself. Which will be soup, or a salad. And fruit or yogourt if available. And black coffee. Lots of that.

But I'm not going to eat stuff I don't want to make someone happy. Which includes treats brought into work (fortunately, something that doesn't occur very often) or boxes of doughnuts from Tim Horton's delivered by grateful clients. Sorry if it hurts your feelings . . . really , I am sorry . . . but it's not just the calories at the time, it's the "trigger" effect of the fats/sugars/salts.

Would you force alcohol on an alcoholic? No? Then don't expect me to eat what I've decided already is not good for me. The fact that my breast cancer was a high estrogen tumour associated with excess weight, and that my chances of recurrence go up with an increase in weight: that to me is my paramount reason for weight control. I'm not going to force that uncomfortable explanation on someone in a social situation -- but just accept the "No thanks". "Looks great, but no thanks". "Not just now, thanks". Because I am. Not. Eating. It.

Done.

Card Four: "It's OK to disappoint people".

Yup, it is. And although dealing with food pushers is not a problem for me, their response can be.

I'm generally very friendly and sociable. People generally like me and I generally like people. But my refusal to eat socially in the conventional manner can be a stumbling block. It puzzles people. Espcially people who are themselves overweight and perceive me as thin. And who perceive my self control around eating as a rebuke or criticism of them.

They want to order the greasy fries or the ooey gooey nachos or whatever -- and they feel uncomfortable because I'm not. I've lost friends over my refusal to be compelled to participate in social eating situations.

Too bad. That's the way it is, and the way it has been for a very very long time. I'm not available for stuffing. It's not my idea of a good time, and submitting to force feeding doesn't cohere with my notion of what constitutes friendship. If you make me choose between your company, and my adherence to my eating plan: well, sorry, but that choice has already been made. NO CHOICE.

And it won't be you, babe.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FREELADY 2/28/2011 5:02PM

    What you wrote is a big help to me.

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FRACTALMYTH 2/28/2011 2:21PM

    That blip on the scales is just temporary :D

And yay for not being a goose (ie allowing yourself to be stuffed with food... after all, they just want to eat your liver :P)

(OK that sounded like a great joke in my head and now it seems like a crass response to your thoughtful commentary... possibly too much time spent communicating with under 5s lately :P)

Oh Well.

Comment edited on: 2/28/2011 2:21:32 PM

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CRYSTALJEM 2/28/2011 11:05AM

    You said it! Something we all need to think about I think, regardless of our weight issues, is why we eat. I agree totally, you should not eat to please someone else. My mother in law is a wonderful woman but a food pusher so I can relate to some degree. I also agree that we need to ensure we don't have unfair expectations of people with regard to food.

I can also relate about other people saying "you're thin enough or thinner than (fill in name) so what do you have to worry about syndrome." We each have our own goals, needs and reasons. We need to each learn to be respectful of these in each other, and not take our differences as personal attacks or for that matter even comments. I think, after all, that is part of friendship and being ourselves. I guess that's why SP is so important to so many of us.

You make me think every day. Thank you for that friend! (Plus thinking uses some calories... doesn't it?!)

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BARBIETEC 2/28/2011 10:57AM

    Well done my friend!!!

"Food pushers" is a good word, I have never heard that before.

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SLENDERELLA61 2/28/2011 10:49AM

    You are 100% correct. You have already addressed the food pusher issue and you stand squarely for good health and healthy eating. a BIG Good For You!!

I don't know that I will ever be good at the disappointment at the scale. I'm definitely still working on that one. I like what you have written. It makes sense. I hope you did grieve your temporary gain and let it go. It is just that -- temporary. As long as you don't let it discourage you, it will be gone next week, probably with more of its companions.

Keep up the good work! You are doing great!!

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LUNADRAGON 2/28/2011 9:25AM

    Very interesting thought. I think we can teach something when we entertain a food pusher. We might be able to alter their thinking. They may not visit us again, but it is possible!

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JHADZHIA 2/28/2011 8:56AM

    Well done Ellen, standing up for your rights to eat what you choose and refuse what you don't want..That is a very big accomplishment! Sorry you had to lose friends over it, but it may be for the best. I read a Spark article where it was discussed how your friends influence you and if you have overweight friends, you tend to get that way too. I would like very much to participate in activities that don't involve food, and I am lucky my Mom enjoys walking/hiking so much :))
Keep up the great work!!


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Prepare for Another Weigh-In: Beck Day 28

Sunday, February 27, 2011

I've got computer problems -- a massive virus on my laptop which means I'll have to take it to computer tech guy, have it wiped clean and all programs re-loaded. So I'm borrowing computers at home and may not get as much Spark time as I'd like.

Yesterday was my first experience of deviating from my eating plan: while making my weekly pot of soup (roasted vegetable: sweet potato, carrot, onion, beet, parsnip, turnip with goat cheese for creaminess and Imagine veggie broth . . . rosemary and basil). I had left a large pan of vegetables roasting while I went to the gym for my workout. Came home, pulled the veggies out of the oven to cool, made myself a spinach salad, ate that and an orange with some fresh pineapple -- and while preparing my soup, simply started munching away on the delicious roasted vegetables. While standing up!! Not good. My "sabotaging thought"? Not even really conscious of it: presumably along the lines of "these are veggies, no problem, they're good for me anyhow"!! Sure they are, but not if they aren't on my food plan and I'm full already and I don't need them right now!!

Anyhow, weighed 153 this morning, up .5 pounds from the day before and up 1 full pound from my last weigh in.

And tomorrow is the "official" weigh in!!

Beck says "don't even think about skimping on your diet today so that the number on the scale looks better". I am not. I've put in my oatmeal/raisins/flax combo for breakfast: I've scheduled some of my roasted vegetable soup with yogourt and fruit for lunch: and salmon with Swiss chard and potato, and an apple with 1 tsp almond butter for dinner.

I've scheduled another session at the gym, too (cardio plus lower body ST, we don't have enough snow left to cross country ski, darn).

I know that I'll be struggling with my weigh-in tomorrow but I am trying to prepare myself not to be disappointed and to be realistic. I'm in this for the long haul, to learn to think like a thin person and to maintain without yo-yoing.

I will stay problem-solving oriented. I will read my Advantages and other Response cards.

And I will remember: NO CHOICE, no eating standing up!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRACTALMYTH 2/28/2011 2:19AM

    You are going so well! Hope you get the virus cleaned up soon - I have had TWO virus pages spike off SparkPeople pages today. The Sparkpage starts to load and then is replaced by a page pretending to be windows system finding viruses on my system. I KNOW I have good virus protection so I was suspicious and didn't let them operate... but it's scary - what would I do if Yeti banned me from Sparkpeople because it had been hacked????

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FREELADY 2/27/2011 11:16PM

    I know Beck says "learn to think like a thin person," but girl, you are learning to LIVE like a thin person!! This blog gives me goose bumps---it is so extremely cool to listen in on your day while you are demonstrating these principles that I'm convinced of--but I'm like a little kid paddling in the wading pool of Beck and you are out there with the butterfly stroke! It is a beautiful thing to hear.

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JOHAL52 2/27/2011 7:06PM

    I confess that I still eat standing up--it's SUCH a hard habit to break! As you say, on the bright side, they were vegetables. But they could so easily not have been so better to note it as you have and remember not to do it. The weight gain today could well have been water. But, again (I am full of "buts" today, aren't I) even if Mr. Scale isn't kind tomorrow know what a GREAT job you've done this past week at identifying thoughts and modifying behavior. And often Mr. Scale will suddenly drop two pounds--the day after weigh-in.
Good luck!
Val

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TRAVELGRRL 2/27/2011 6:24PM

    No matter what the scale says, you are doing a great job internalizing the Beck strategies. I have her book on tape and she admits that even SHE snacks on veggies (STANDING UP - GASP!)while preparing dinner.

So tell me more about this soup! Just roasted vegetables heated in vegetable broth with the goat cheese melted in?



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JHADZHIA 2/27/2011 10:19AM

    My mouth was watering reading about the foods you were preparing -all my favorite root veggies!! I sure can see the temptation to snack on them. When Mom roasts her veggies in the oven, its hard to limit my eating of them to a normal serving..
You have the right idea for your weigh in, good luck!
Hope they can fix your computer..
Enjoy your Sunday!

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SLENDERELLA61 2/27/2011 9:50AM

    Good going, Ellen, on working to identify the sabotaging thought or thoughts. You are right. Often they are kind of under the surface. But I think working to identify them will pay off.

Oh, do I understand eating veggies standing up. It doesn't seem like it should matter, does it? But then we know unplanned eating is not okay. That is strengthens our giving in muscle, when we are working so hard to grow our resistence muscles!!

Your attitude about healthy eating and preparing for the scale tomorrow is right on!! Hope you can do it as well as you write it. I know, sometimes I am just nuts when it comes to the scale. I know what is logical and how I should do it, but I still have trouble dealing with reality and disappointment.

I'm hoping that your logic is strong and that you truly know at the core level that you are in it for the long haul. You are so right. Tomorrow's weigh doesn't matter much; it is the trends and the year of weigh-ins and the many years of weigh-ins. I envision you nailing your goal weight range with that slight fluctutation and staying there forever!! You are doing it!!!

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PATTISWIMMER 2/27/2011 8:33AM

    And I love your watermelon pages I was on a watermelon kick for at least six weeks last summer.. now I am on a red grapefruit and pineapple kick.. with kiwi and oranges and canteloupe.

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PATTISWIMMER 2/27/2011 8:32AM

    well hey you are eating healthy and that should count for something.. I have upped my fruit and vegetables and my skin is in much better shape... I do several more than 6 sometimes 10 fruits and vegetables a day...
I just did my weigh in and down finally after like a six month plateau.. but better to not weigh lower and find myself going higher later because the lower was a rarer moment.
good luck on your weigh in... if it doesn't happen this week it could be double next week.. emoticon

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The Seven Questions Response to Sabotaging Thoughts: Beck Day 27

Saturday, February 26, 2011

This is quite the mental work out!!

First, I am to identify my most frequent "sabotaging thoughts". OK, by far it's the persistent thought that Beck takes way too much time in a way which is inelegant, narcissistic, obsessive. I don't want to be obsessive about food: I keep telling myself that naturally thin people don't think about food so much, and I'm supposed to be learning to think like a thin person.

(Yes, I have other sabotaging thoughts: but this is the ONE that gains most traction!!).

Next, I'm to apply the following seven questions to the sabotaging thought(s):

1. What kind of an error in thinking (of the 9 thinking errors in the book, or the 12 in the workbook) am I making?

Exaggeration: a sweeping statement of the basis of a small set of data. It's not really taking all that much additional time to follow the Beck program.

2. What evidence do I have that this thought is true? or untrue?

"Docketing" the amount of time it is actually taking me to: preplan my food (maybe 3 minutes a day on the Nutrition tracker, and no additional time because I was doing that anyhow after the fact); preplan my exercise (probably another 2 minutes, and again no additional time because I was doing that anyhow after the fact); make my lunches and salads etc (have been doing that all along anyhow, no additional time); read my response cards (seconds, really); check off the daily tasks in the workbook (again, minutes at most); blog about the process (optional, I'm doing that mostly to reinforce my own commitment and possibly be useful to others at SP who might be thinking about trying Beck/could find the initial outlay a bit pricey . . . : not Beck's requirement so doesn't count). So the evidence is: untrue.

3. Is there another way to view this situation?

Yup: been tracking for over 18 months anyway: and tracking as preplanning is way more effective because it helps with the "NO CHOICE" response: I'm not longer dithering about whether to eat or not, whether to exercise or not.

4. What's the most realistic outcome of this situation?

It will continue to take the time it takes, and I will become less "obsessive" as the skills become more natural.

5. What is the effect of my believing this thought or what could be the effect of changing my thinking?

If I continue to believe that Beck requires too much time to the point of inelegant obsession, I'll be justifying quitting it -- or more likely, fading away. Right now I'm calling it obsession because I just don't want to preplan. It's covert rebellion! I'm still struggling with the notion preplanning constrains my choices and I'd like more "spontaneity": to eat standing up, to inhale "ounces" of cheddar cheese which are really 4 ounces; to treat hunger as an emergency requiring immediate untracked inhalations of high calorie foods, and so on. So if I change my thinking about this, then I'm more likely to continue in a matter-of-fact way (not really requiring any more time or attention than I was spending before) but with a better result. Less yo-yoing, better health, less likelihood of breast cancer recurrence, continuing to be able to wear all my 8s and a few (generous) 6s!!

6. What advice would I give a friend? Stick with it, it's working for ya, and in time will become easy and natural. How do I know how a thin person thinks anyhow? The likelihood is that most naturally thin person are matter-of-fact about experiencing hunger from time to time, don't treat it as an emergency, maybe think of it as enhancing the whole experience of eating when it's time.

7. What should I do now (ie when in the moment, coping with the sabotaging "this is obsessive" thought?) Distract myself, read my cards, ignore hunger (which is not an emergency) and employ all the cognitive strategies I've been learning. Keep on keeping on.

I've copied the seven questions onto a card and added them to my stack.

This is one of the best techniques Beck offers!!

I have to use my brain to make my life work. And what is a more worthwhile use of my time than that?






  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FROSTIERACES 2/27/2011 12:34AM

    "I have to use my brain to make my life work. And what is a more worthwhile use of my time than that?".....EXACTLY. We can use our minds to cure our bodies. I know it and believe it with everything I am. I wish I knew how a thin person thinks. For me, I'm shocked lately...like wow, there's a whole new way of thinking required once you hit 40! I missed 4 days due to my own self sabotage and could feel the fat just waiting to settle in happily and stay for awhile. But nope, I fought back again today, eating as healthy as I could added with cardio and JM shred kicked those fat cells right out the door!

You can do this....you already are :)


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FREELADY 2/26/2011 8:16PM

    You cut right to the heart of the matter. This is prime brain food and soul food. Thank you so much for letting us listen in on your musings. It is very, very valuable to me.

The resistance you describe here ---I have felt like that many times: about arithmetic, about learning to type, learning to use the computer . . . I did quite a lot of composing and editing and researching before computers, and I remember so clearly fussing to myself in 1993 because it was such a hassle trying to do those processes with the computer. But praise God I did persevere . . . I somehow was convinced that I would get "over the hump" of the learning curve and it would pay off; and my husband was very encouraging also. That's a lot of rambling just to say that now the computer is a fabulous and beloved tool, and of course I would never go back to the old way, BUT because I do remember exactly the feelings and thoughts you describe in this blog ( this is taking way too much time, this is more trouble than it should be, etc.) I have great HOPE and ANTICIPATION that it will eventually become second nature to us! Won't it be grand!!?!

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TRYINGHARD1948 2/26/2011 7:48PM

    You will get there Ellen.

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BARBIETEC 2/26/2011 6:23PM

    Thank you for this blog!!!

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FRACTALMYTH 2/26/2011 5:42PM

    Cool! I can see many applications for that review. What are the 9 (12) thinking errors? That could be useful to know :D

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TRAVELGRRL 2/26/2011 3:51PM

    You are cracking me up! It's like Beck is taking you kicking and screaming!

I can see how thoughtfully you are applying the concepts and doing the work. I have no doubt that you will begin to THINK like the thin person you already look like on the outside. How wonderful will that be?



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SLENDERELLA61 2/26/2011 2:40PM

    Brilliant blog! You have nailed the process and applied it to a sabotaging thought I think everyone using this process must have at some time or another. Simply, I think the Beck process is worth the time and effort. AND you are right. Before Beck I was mostly tracking afterwards anyway, so really it is very little more time, with much better results.

Thank you for helping me see this technique more clearly! I am more motivated than ever to apply it whenever I identify sabotaging thoughts. We can use our logic to change our behavior and improve our lives!!

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JOHAL52 2/26/2011 1:33PM

    Excellent blog. I admit to having similar sabotaging thoughts. Your blog was so helpful in clarifying the "effort" involved and seeing just how worth it this all is.
Thank you!

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OHSOSVELTE 2/26/2011 11:39AM

    Hey, thank you! There's a lot of us working on the self-Sabotage thing on Sparkpeople today!!! It is so helpful to rethink our sabotage through with SF!

Comment edited on: 2/26/2011 11:43:35 AM

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More Reflection, Anticipating Seven Questions: Beck Day 26.5

Friday, February 25, 2011

Yesterday was a looooooong day -- got to bed late after my meeting, did not get to the gym this morning (but have made it three times this week).

I'd been highly successful at anticipating the foods which would be available at the dinner portion of my meeting and preplanned/tracked accordingly. Had preplanned for one glass of wine, chicken breast, 1 medium potato, veggies: found a little fresh fruit for dessert (ignoring the roast beef, gravy, rolls, butter, lavish displays of pies, tortes, cakes . . . left 'em there). Ate slowly, sitting down. Received quite a number of compliments on how good I'm looking!!

And came home to good news from my mammogram: it's been two years, and I'm all clear. The relief is something I could pretty much slice up and put on a plate: it's that solid. Exhale. Yeah!! It used to be that five years was the milestone but two years now is considered pretty good. And this was especially poignant for me because one of my colleagues who has been battling massive breast cancer issues, still in chemo with more surgery and radiation to come, was being honoured for her courage and was present.

So for today, not only do I want to spend a bit more time on the "thinking errors" and just generally on "balance" and perspective issues -- , I can see that doing so is fundamental to the next step, "mastering the seven question technique".

The upcoming weekend will be a better time to tackle that next step.

Happy Friday, everyone!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRACTALMYTH 2/25/2011 11:53PM

    Brilliant news :D HUGS!

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FREELADY 2/25/2011 10:55PM

    So happy for you with all your good outcomes!!

Wow, you are pointing right to where I need growth: thinking errors, balance and perspective issues. Very helpful for you to highlight so eloquently!

Your blog always scratches right where I itch. . . and your fees are so reasonable!
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TRYINGHARD1948 2/25/2011 4:38PM

    I so know how you feel waiting for results and the emotional release when "all clear" comes through. So happy for you, and I too am shedding a tear of happiness for you. Have a lovely weekend. Hugs.

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TBANMAN 2/25/2011 4:20PM

    Congrats on two years clear.

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CRYSTALJEM 2/25/2011 2:19PM

    What imagery! Congratulations! Celebrate! How much better can it really get - meeting the business meeting dinner challenge, people noticing how truly awesome you look and then getting the 2 year all clear. The best triple you could ask for I think. I am so happy for you I'm dancing in your honour! (ok, it's a slow dance since I'm still recuperating, but I'm dancing all the same!) CJ



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GODS_SERENITY 2/25/2011 11:41AM

    Oh what a wonderful relief. I'm happy for you. You did great on your dinner away. Great going preplanning! Great going on reaching day 26! Happy Friday to you.

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Debbie

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NANCY- 2/25/2011 11:31AM

    emoticon emoticon
You are one awesome lady.
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JHADZHIA 2/25/2011 8:39AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
So glad you are all clear from cancer! Well done on staying away from the goodies at the dinner -you did better than I would have likely..
Keep up the great work and have a fantastic Friday!

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SLENDERELLA61 2/25/2011 8:36AM

    Relief you could slice up and serve on a plate!! How awesome! Such an image. It brought tears to my eyes. Congratulations. Celebrate life!!

How incredible you did at your dinner event - from anticipating what would be served to turning down temptations. It really is true, isn't it, that feeling and looking good are SO much better than a piece of dessert.

Best wishes for a day of contemplating balance and perspective and celebrating your wonderful accomplishments!!

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JENSENQUEEN 2/25/2011 8:16AM

    I am so glad to hear that you are clear!!! Great blessings to you! I love your food choices...they really make a difference in our lives!
Have a great day!
Jess emoticon

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Recognizing Thinking Mistakes: Beck Day 26

Thursday, February 24, 2011

This is kinda fun and reminds me of a previous existence when I studied and taught logic! Plus: the "cognitive" dimension is (ahem) intellectually appealing . . . Beck is training the brain, for sure.

So: all of us make predictable errors in our thinking. And of course more so when there is an emotional incentive (excessive attachment to food, so rationalization hunger driven!!) to do so.

The workbook has a handy chart setting out 12 such thinking errors with typical examples.

All or nothing: I'm either perfect at this, or I might as well just give up. This morning I turned off the alarm after a sleepless night and grabbed a few more zzzzs. Which meant I had to delete the preplanned workout from today's fitness tracker. Not perfect: but no giving up, however.

MInd reading: if I don't have dessert at the professional meeting/dinner I'm attending this evening, people will think I'm weird. Actually, probably no one will care or notice -- and if they do, so what.

Dysfunctional rules: such as, can't waste food. For sure I'm planning to waste food tonight. It's a sit-down dinner, I don't know what I will be served, I've tracked in some likely candidates, and I'll be carefully sequestering the portion of whatever to a reasonable size. I can waste food and plan to do just that.

And there are a whole bunch more. Beck suggests that we make additional response cards of the thinking errors that recur most frequently: I'll be paying attention and doing that.

This is a technique which appeals to me, which I believe is highly workable for me, and which will be a useful tool going forward. I'm a logical thinker by training, by personality and by profession. But not so much when it comes to food! I make lots of thinking mistakes in this area of my life. In a light hearted way, this promises to be an amusing exercise with a real pay off.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLENDERELLA61 2/24/2011 7:45PM

    Your strength in logic and love of thinking will serve you well, Ellen. This cognitive approach is perfect for you. You can use your strengths to approach food differently -- more like you approach the rest of your life. That you call it amusing is great. You can play it like a game. But as you say, you expect big rewards from it. You'll get them!! So good to see you learning so much and seeing the potential for even more learnings!! Take care, Marsha

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TRYINGHARD1948 2/24/2011 7:00PM

    You are doing it Ellen.

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CONTENTCHRIS 2/24/2011 5:58PM

    Right on ! as they said in the 70's emoticon

but seriously I so agree we got to go all out ! emoticon

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MYYEAR7 2/24/2011 5:46PM

    I really like your blog. I have been "mind reading" for a long time - This reminds me that probably no one really notices - and if they do, who cares? Love it!

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CRYSTALJEM 2/24/2011 3:20PM

    Now you've really caught my attention. Paying attention to your beliefs and thoughts. Good job. Can't wait to hear more. Good luck! emoticon

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GODS_SERENITY 2/24/2011 10:54AM

    I can relate to the all or nothing! No one will even notice you not eating dessert. If they do like you said, "so what"! Yes, I was in the clean your plate club. I got out of that club fast! Last night I didn't sleep well myself. We just press through don't we? I don't have the workbook. I heard some say it's not worth getting. Your doing great. I enjoy reading your blog!

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