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Long Time No Post..........

Monday, March 02, 2009

You know, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I know I will always be interested in living a healthy lifestyle. I know I will always enjoy good food and wine. I know I will always feel better after I exercise. I've been in love with this food plan or that food plan for years, then hated the same plans later. I've finally had a realization.....

It's not about any plan. It's just me and my decisions every day. That's all. No magic. No cheating. No getting away with something. No being good or being bad. It's just BEING.

I think that's the key. It's just about me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    How true. I could have written some of the same things.
Having a daily plan, even of our own design, with foods that we look forward to helps fuel our commitment. It's not a diet. It's a change to healthy living.
This is daily. Bottom line is our willingness to change.
Today is yours.

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"Mommy's belly is SOOOOO big!"

Sunday, August 17, 2008

That's what my 5 year old daughter said earlier today. Wow. I was stung, of course. I told her that my feelings were hurt and that it's not polite to comment on how others look. Then I went into the bathroom and cried.

I cried because she's right. My belly is big. I remember deciding to do something about my weight when she was born so she would never know that I was fat. I was ashamed of it and didn't want her to be teased because she had a fat mom. I cried because I only want to be beautiful in her eyes. I cried because I felt like I had failed her-and me-by sliding through the past 2 years at roughly the same weight despite tracking food and exercise. I cried because I felt like a 3rd grader being teased again. I cried because I have not been working my program fully and the time has not waited for me to decide to be serious about it.

I know she had no malice in making that comment. I know she doesn't understand why Mommy seems so sad now and why Daddy spoke to her again about hurting feelings. I know I am beautiful in her eyes. I know she loves me for the person, the mommy I am, regardless of the size of my body. I know all of that.

I also know I feel like a failure right now. I know I'm not a failure, but I feel like one at this moment.

I also know that I am the only one who can change any of this. I cannot change the size of my belly at this moment in time, but I can make choices that will change it so that next August I will not be at this same weight. That's why I wanted to post this. To try to move my hurt feelings in a positive direction.

I'm going to go cuddle with my precious little girl now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENNI_BELLE 8/18/2008 11:56AM

    I am so sorry you had to go through that! My son saw my spark profile the other day (he is 4) and when he saw my pictures he pointed to the bottom one and said "Look there's FAT Mommy" and he pointed to the top picture and said "And there's skinny Mommy" I had to have a talk with him as well about not pointing out peoples appearences. That it really hurts my feelings when you say fat mommy.

on a funnier note I was laying down on ther floor the other day with my knees bent and feet on the floor, he was laying under my legs. he started hitting my inner thighs and said to me "Mommy your liegs are like marshmellows!" I could not help but bust out laughing! It's true my inner thighs are not toning up b/c of some loose skin and they are very soft and kinda are like marshmellows! But there again we had to have a talk about hurting feelings.

You are not a failure!! you are doing great ! Keep up the good work.

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MCASE96 8/18/2008 10:17AM

    I know what you're feeling. My 4 yr old son asked not too long ago if I had a baby in my tummy. I wish that was the reason! I couldn't get upset at him, because he didn't mean to be hurtful, and he's really wanting another baby anyway. But it does sting regardless. I have been "cheating" quite a bit lately, and I've stalled out on my weight loss. Not really up, but not any down, and I know that an "up trend" will come if I don't do something different. All I know to do is keep trying. I can't give up and give in, because that just got me bigger than I've ever been in my life.
So, keep adjusting to try and make it a lifestyle. It's so hard, I know. Rejoice with the smallest victories and don't dwell on the downfalls, learn from them and go on. I'm speaking as much to myself as I am to you or anyone else.

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Interested or Committed?

Sunday, June 29, 2008

This was on a Weight Watchers message board. I've seen it other places, too, likely here on Spaerkpeople! I like it so I'm posting it!

"If you're "interested" in losing weight...
--You stick with it only until something better comes along (such as doughnuts)
--How you feel determines your outcome. If you don't 'feel like it,' you stop your efforts.
--You need to see results. When the scale doesn't move, you lose your motivation.
--You blame everything else (people, travel, circumstances) for your struggles with staying on your diet.
--Whenever you face challenges in life, you give up and plan you'll start your diet again tomorrow.

If you're "committed" to losing weight...
--Nothing stops your efforts. You stick with your diet, "no matter what."
--Emotions don't control your actions. You stay on track even when you don't feel like it.
--Your motivation isn't linked to the scale. You assume that if you stay motivated and work hard, you'll eventually see results.
--You don't depend on other people for your success. You know it's up to you, not them.
--A bad day or a lot of challenges don't affect your efforts. You keep going in spite of it."

Hmmmm, appears I've been more interested than committed for a while. Time to walk down the aisle of weight loss and stop sitting and chatting with the guests!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARGAZER1010 6/30/2008 9:05PM

    This post makes you stop and think. I am happy to say that I am committed.
Thanks for the interesting post

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DIET_FRIEND 6/30/2008 8:31AM

    I really like this post and will save it for later!

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JLITT62 6/30/2008 7:57AM

    Thanks for posting this!

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I Think I'm ADD.................

Friday, June 27, 2008

Okay, so I've decided to follow the Weight Watchers Core plan now. I seriously am having committment issues here! I really did well on phase 1 of South Beach, but then when I added 1 grain and 1 fruit all heck broke loose! I know any program works as long as you actually work a program.

I'm amazed I've been married fr nearly 11 years. Evidently I can commit to people, just not food plans! I wonder what that says about me?! Wait, I probably don't want to know!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIET_FRIEND 6/28/2008 7:19PM

    Whatever works for you. I prefer South Beach because there is less thinking. I find myself taking from programs what works for me and making my own program.

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HEARTOFCHRIST 6/28/2008 9:10AM

    Weight Watchers is a good program. It just takes a litte bit of time to figure out the points but is wonderful because you don't deprive yourself of anything. I've tried the low carb diets and drop pounds faster than I'd drop a bowling ball but like you said, the second I put one grain into my mount, I eat EVERYTHING in sight--even the bowling ball! lol

Log your food into sparkpeople--it really does help. :o) don't forget to drink your water!

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You Can't Always Get What You Want

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I am so tired of feeling like I *can't* have something. Makes me want it more. I know that the food plan that allows me to eat and drink whatever I want in whatever amounts I want is NOT a weight LOSS plan, though! That's the plan that had me at 310 at one point, so unless I want to go back there again - which I don't - I need to be a grown up and just say no sometimes. Or acknowledge that I want something but that I CHOOSE not to eat it. I don't expect to get everything I want in any other area of my life, why do I expect it with food? I WANT a Porsche; I drive a CR-V. And I love my CR-V, don't get me wrong. But it's not a Porsche. Somehow that doesn't REALLY bother me like wanting pizza tonight and knowing I *should* choose not to have it.

I hate *should*!

Mick Jagger is a brilliant genius!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIET_FRIEND 6/26/2008 2:13PM

    I'm kinda at peace right now about not eating some of my faves. Mostly it is inconvenient to NOT be able to eat pizza since it is an easy family fave. I think that when I do order pizza for the family, i'll try the whole wheat crust from Papa John's.

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SUNNIEDAES 6/25/2008 7:39PM

    I understand... completely. Just remember that it's okay to have a little treat ONCE IN A WHILE, as long as you plan for them. :)

My solution to pizza... I order a small one just for me...because I'm worth it :)... I get the thin, crispy crust, only veggies and no cheese. Occasionally I'll have a little bit of feta added or when it gets home I'll put a bit of parmesan on it. That way you don't feel left out and with the thin crispy crust you can have a fair bit. A bonus is that you don't feel stuffed like you do with regular crust, meats and cheese. Try it, you just may love it.

There are always solutions to all of our desires. lol I'll have to think on that Porsche. haha

Hugs, Bonnie

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SARYANN79 6/25/2008 7:15PM

    Definitely the heat!!! I feel your pain! I know what my can have and can't have list is, just don't always want what is on my can have list!

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CANDACE28 6/25/2008 6:59PM

    you need to have a grip on what you can have versus what you can't have. You should make a list os what you can/can't have and then put it on the fridge.
Then you will just know. Not that have pizza and cholate is tempting but you know if you wanna be thin you just can't have these things

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MCASE96 6/25/2008 6:29PM

    I think it's the southern Illinois/Indiana heat!! *LOL*

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