Monday, November 02, 2009
My last blog told how I screwed up on Halloween for a few days. Well,today I am back on track. I worked out for thirty minutes of kickboxing dvds and did 60 crunches. I hadn't worked out for a couple of days so that's all I could manage.
But it was great. I did it. And that is what matters.
My problem was always binging. I think I will find a Spark team that deals with that or emotional eating so I can maybe connect with others who have this problem. A lot of it i think comes from when I was anorexic years ago and wouldn't let myself have any food and my parents would practically make me starve with their comments when I was a healthy 120 (I'm 5 one and a half) and also with that horrible HORRIBLE man I was dating who would fill my plate for me at dinner time because he didn't want me to get "fatter".
So now free of all of that...I eat like there is no tomorrow. It doesn't matter what it is. There have been nights I have been up eating chicken noodle soup from the can cold with a spoon and then have two sandwiches on top of that. And then still get up and workout like always.
Now that took a lot out of me.
I see success somewhere,somehow. I see that person I want to be. God grant me that I can get there, please.