Saturday, December 12, 2009
Just worked out. Feel somewhat better. I got a email from my sister asking me why I wasn't coming to see her and the others at Christmas and I told her I wasn't invited and that I was jealous of her because she is thin,a model and pretty and I didn't want to bring my boyfriend around her either.
Petty? Too bad. Get over it. I don't care. I'm who I am and no one is going to change me or my opinions. Those two monsters beat me day and night until she was born. Thank God that she got so much attention they ignored me as a child,teenager,and adult and that is just fine with me.
I want to be thin and pretty so bad. I cry when I look in the mirror. I wonder if I am ever alone in this. It seems every day is the day I start over and I'm sick to the whole of it. I just want to be happy with myself. There is a girl at work WAYYY heavier than me and average looking and thinks she is all that and is flirty and the guys seem to love her why can't that be ME?????
Thats all. WW.