WARRIOR11209   62,168
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
WARRIOR11209's Recent Blog Entries

I AM AFRAID THAT I AM OUT OF CONTROL

Sunday, August 10, 2014

I am not handling stress well and as a result I am using food to self medicate. I have kept the weight (100 pounds) that I lost off since 2007, but right now I have a lot going on that I an not control and I am self medicating with food. We are buying a town home and the process has been hell. THe first deal fell through - the seller went with another offer while we were in attorney review ( a long story but on the upside we found another better town home),. NOW we are waiting for final loan approval and we are running out of time on our lease for our current development. In the past, I would just exercise more to handle the stress but now I have fallen back into my old habits - eating carbs and doing a lot of sitting.I am out-of-ontrol.

I am trying not to do something drastic in the way of fasting or going on an Atkins-type protein diet until I lose the weight that I have gained. I am disappointed, mad, and afraid that I am going to regain every pound (and then some ) that I have gained. I have temporarily lost my way but I know (but maybe not believe) that I have the solution to the problem. I need to return to journaling everything I eat (maybe even journaling at eat meal how I am feeling emotionally), drinking 8 glasses of water each day (that is NOT
happening now) and walk during lunch instead of spending the time in my car overeating and feeling sorry for myself .

I am at the point of faking it before I make it - I will have to fake it that I actually believe that I am going to be successful before I am actually back on the road to becoming healthy once again.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEEGEE2 8/11/2014 4:26PM

    It sounds like since you are blogging and are aware of what is happening you are not out of control - I wish you good luck - you are going through a difficult time but will get through it !

Report Inappropriate Comment


WHEN THE SCALE MOVES IN THE WRONG DIRECTION - CHANGE IS NEEDED

Friday, June 27, 2014

So I hopped my happy self on the scale and the number was up 4 pound from 2 weeks ago. what the heck??? Time to make some changes. I have to start walking again during lunch and writing down everything that I eat, buy fruit to snack on and drink more water...all things that I fell down on during the past 2 weeks. Am I shocked - yep , because I really though that I was losing weight. Am I defeated ...heck no, it is all good. Still working on my goal to lose one pound per week. I CAN do this once again. Damn

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KHCHARMED1987 6/27/2014 9:08PM

    Great attitude!! Keep up the great work!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment


NEGATIVE CHATTER

Sunday, January 05, 2014

I was in spin class an the negative internal talk started, " I will never get back in shape", " I am so much slower than I was before the surgery". And then I looked in the mirror and realized that I was spinning next to a woman who lost her son a few months ago. Automatic attitude re-set!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DARKCHILD 1/21/2014 5:52AM

    It's good to remember that someone , somewhere, always has it worse. Good job shutting down the negative committee in your head! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MANDYLOVE_76 1/6/2014 1:53PM

    Sometimes we just need someone to put things in perspective for us.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PLATINUM755 1/5/2014 6:02PM

    Sorry to hear about the woman who was next to you, but great adjustment! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Feeling BETTER

Monday, December 02, 2013

Two weeks post surgery and I am beginning to feel more like "me."Not quite ready to workout yet, but I claim a small victory in not needing to take a nap every 4 hours like a newborn. lol Although I will be able to return to work on Thursday, I know that it will take another 4 weeks before I can take a spin class so for now walking has become my means of exercise. And it will be at least another 6 weeks before I can work on my core....which I might add is looking pretty pitiful at this time but when I think of the alternative- that cyst growing on my pancreas and possibly becoming cancerous working to get my fitness back becomes such a small thing by comparison.

So here I sit on the Monday after Thanksgiving , being the most thankful that I have ever been in 58 years. Thankful to God for continuing to nudge me that something WAS truly wrong with me , when doctors kept telling me that the pain I felt was nothing, thankful that the problem was resolved before it become terminal and thankful that I will have time to spend time with those I love and to do all those things that I was "waiting" to do.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EATYOURGREENS2 12/2/2013 9:43AM

    So glad, indeed that you are on the mend. It does put things in perspective doesn't it, you worded it beautifully. Isn't it something how we intrinsically know there is a problem inside of us, good for you for standing strong against the doctors and not taking their diagnosis of 'its nothing' and going home. God does let us know, what a blessing. Godspeed on your recovery and new priorities. So happy for you!

Comment edited on: 12/2/2013 9:44:52 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNSHINE192DAY 12/2/2013 9:27AM

    I'm so glad that you're ok! Praying that recovery comes fast and that you are able to do all the things you were waiting for!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EMPRESSAMQ 12/2/2013 9:25AM

    Happy to read that you are feeling better. Well said about getting things taken care of even when doctors aren't listening. Happy December!

Report Inappropriate Comment


ON A MINI-SABBATICAL

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Not sure where to start. I now realize that God, exercise and healthy eating = spiritual connectedness healthy and stronger body. I never made the connection that my healthy lifestyle would help me recover from surgery. On Monday I had the tail of my pancreas in addition to my spleen removed. Short story is I had an MRI 7 yrs ago and a cyst was found on my pancreas. The cyst was watched for 7 yrs - no change , this June the cyst grew 3x its size!!! Many , many , many further tests to determine that it was not cancer but I went to NY Presbyterian because I know a brilliant endocrine doctor there (NY Presbyterian is about 2-3 hrs away from my home in NW Jersey but this is my life we are talking about). He was the ONLY doctor that wanted to find out "why" the cyst was growing and he had a few other questions. Needless to say I got antsy with the delay but "why" was a question that made sense and no one else seemed to ask. result of test explained a lot of the causes and it was determined that the tail of the pancreas was to be removed and possibly the spleen (more medical reasons that were explained to me that I am not going to bore people with). Surgery done on Monday and Tuesday I am walking around the hospital floor with my IV pole. Blood pressure , blood sugar levels, heart rate all normal!!! The residents are amazed . The doctor knows me and says, "it is because she went into the surgery in excellent physical health." Now remember I DO NOT look like a stick-figure (nor do I want to any longer) BUT I was healthy. My muscle strength enabled me to get up and walk and the blood levels required less medication post-surgery and many other benefits that doctors are not sure of . Normally people who have had this surgery stay a week... I am home. and I am home because I am healing well, I walked1.5 miles through the hospital on Thursday and I am not having major problems. I do have pain - as expected but nothing that can't be handled. Am I bloated ..oh yes and it was interesting because I had to wear a pair of my husband's old sweatpants because I can not wear my own exercise pants. Yes, I went on a walk today and plan on walking each day to slowly recover. I will not be able to do my normal workout schedule for at least 8 weeks and I am ok with this . I am the beneficiary of a decision that God pushed me to make 6 yrs ago to live healthier.

So my dear spark friends- we all may not be exactly where we want to be based on that dumb number on the scale but if you are being true to healthy living you are truly receiving other benefits.

I feel like a very lucky woman! Thank you God, thank you Dr. Fahey and than you SP!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PLATINUM755 11/23/2013 7:48PM

    I am so glad to hear that everything went so well. Sending prayer your way! emoticon It is times like these that we begin to realize how connected everything is...Stay strong! Stay positive!...and keep us informed on your progress. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/23/2013 7:50:01 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 Last Page