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Crisis Mode

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The past few days I have succumbed to a situation of overwhelming pain. This is not really like me to write a blog like this, and some that I have written in the past, I have deleted. I'm not meaning to cry a sob story, but it is where I am.

I'm struggling just to make it through my days, let alone stay on top of my exercise and healthy eating. In fact, I'm not hungry and barely able to eat at all. I've probably eaten 500 calories today. Shouldn't have any trouble losing weight like this.

If you are a person of prayer to the living God, Jehovah, I could use a prayer right now. I need peace, rest, joy, forgiveness, trust, hope, wisdom and the strength to maintain as best of a healthy lifestyle as I can during this crisis.

Life will get better, it always does. And the valleys we must cross only make us stronger.

God is in control!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Definitely praying for you. Sounds like you are going through deep grieving, which is part of loss and betrayal. It is a good thing to share your pain; don't delete your blogs. By sharing our griefs we halve them; by sharing our joys we double them.

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CYCLINGSANDY 1/18/2010 7:49PM

    Thelma: I am late reading this blog. I am sorry that you have been under such trials lately. It seems like when we are doing better or reasonably well that is when Satan wants to attack us with all his vigor. We both know that our God is mightier than Satan and he really can't get anything over on us. I am praying for you right now. Know that you are precious and worth so much to God. He love you and wants only His best for you. Rest in His everlasting arms and lean only on Him. He will always carry you!

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JFROGDIVA 1/14/2010 10:02PM

    I pray that God will give you peace and rest and strength to go on!! May His shelter be your abode & may He comfort you in your time of grief & trouble!! Please know that you are loved & appreciated as our friend & are important to us!!!! We are here when you need us!!!!
Love & Hugzz ~ Jae emoticon

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DAVID_EWING2009 1/14/2010 5:06PM

    I ask God this day to watch over each and all of us. I fail daily to always see the good and things we should be thankful for. I know that everything happens for a reason and for our own good. It is still hard not to question "why?'.I will tell you that over all that has happened over the past 3yrs, I feel that I have lost alot of my beliefs about religion. I still believe in God, but am struggling like everyone else to try to make sence of "things". I do pray for each and everyone here, that you all find peace, joy, love in each of your lives. I normallly dont talk this way, but when I came to this post, something in me said I needed to say what I felt. Please forgive me if you dont understand . David

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NELLIEC 1/13/2010 5:33PM

    I am praying for you.

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KEENTINA 1/13/2010 5:11PM

    May God watch over you and guide you through this crisis.

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MOV4WARD 1/13/2010 4:59PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonDear Lord, we lift our friend WarmSpringDay to you and ask you to ease her pain and grief, give her your peace and to guide and direct her footsteps so that she may live her life to your glory. Amen

emoticon emoticon emoticon{{{hugs~n~luvs~my~friend}}}

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GRAMPIAN 1/13/2010 4:17PM

  May God give you the strength to go forward.

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GRAMPIAN 1/13/2010 4:17PM

  May God give you the strength to go forward.

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Forgiveness and the Grace of God

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I have just been hit with a situation that has opened a lot of old wounds that I thought were healing and has raised a lot of trust and forgiveness questions.

Dealing with hurt can be a lifelong process. I am learning that every time I feel the hurt, I must forgive. Forgiveness is not a once and done thing I am finding. I can say I have forgiven, but when the hurt hits anew, I must forgive anew. Also, God may be using it to lead me into a deeper level of forgiveness than I experienced before.

The Bible warns us not to fail the grace God offers us, but to be careful least a root of bitterness spring up within us and trouble or defile us.

Today, I need to renew my acceptance of the grace of God and forgive once again. It is what he calls me to do. And "faithful is he who calleth you, who also will do it."

Lord, today I purpose to accept your grace. Remove any bitterness from my heart, heal me and fill with forgiveness. You have called me to this and you have promised that you will perform it in me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOV4WARD 1/12/2010 10:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JFROGDIVA 1/11/2010 1:00AM

    This can be a hard lesson to learn!! The hurt does resurface from time to time, but God is faithful to to give us the grace to forgive!!!! You are in my prayers!!!!
Hugzz ~ Jae

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NELLIEC 1/10/2010 9:36PM

    I like LENNY48's analogy of the onion! That fits forgiveness, since it is a process!

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ANGELBELIEVER 1/10/2010 9:02PM

    Thank you for your comment on my March post about Forgiveness. I really liked reading your post as well and agree that is something we must continue to do as many times as is necessary. Bur for the Grace of God goeth I. I learned this a long time ago. Also Forgivness is done so we can move on.

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JUST-AMY 1/10/2010 5:58PM

    Forgiveness can be a life-long progress. Be patient with yourself and yes, though we have to give it over to God and let our pains go, it is okay when we realize that we are weak in ourselves. But God's providence is absolute. I have said a prayer for you, and that which you long to forgive that God would have compassion on you today. God deal with this precious woman gently, for her wounds still ache and her heart longs for your mercy.



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LINDA6105 1/10/2010 5:38PM

    Amen! Praise the Lord for He is Good.

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LENNY48 1/10/2010 5:36PM

    Yea its an onion. Once you have peeled a layer another is just waiting. I also think old hurts and old stories come about when we get hooked. All we can do is pray and remind ourselves we already forgave them. Do we want peace or revenge? Sometimes the answer takes a couple of days but I usually pick peace. Like you said, it is a process. Maybe now that you realize this, it won't be such a bummer the next time it crops up.

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    So sorry!

Yes old wounds when they hurt in the present, we must forgive again, in the present. He does bring the grace and the mercy; but we must forgive.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    This is beautiful. Thank you. I need to remember this too.

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I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing

Saturday, January 09, 2010

I am feeling so defeated, so blue, so disappointed in myself! I ate it all - every bite! And it wasn't even all that good! How disgusting!

So, to back up, today in going through my emails from a friend, I came across an email I had saved that I thought sounded like a cute idea - a cake in a mug baked in the microwave. Well, it so happens that right now my oven is on the blink (or at least I'm afraid to use it), but that's another story! So I saw this little recipe and thought that would be a sweet little treat for my husband who loves cupcakes. So this afternoon, I tested it.

I baked up that little cake and it looked rather cute, but I thought I should taste it before I serve it to my husband later when he comes home. So taste it I did. It was quite disappointing and more like a chocolate bread pudding consistency - very heavy and not quite sweet enough. So I cut a little bit more and thought it might be good with milk on it. Better. But by now, I know I can't serve this thing to my husband; but it has such good ingredients in it, I hate to pitch it. So I ate a little bit more, this time putting a little bit of sugar on it to make it sweeter. And a little bit more and a little bit more and suddenly, it was all gone.

I stood and looked at that coffee mug that held the treacherous cake and my stomach started rolling and my eyes filled with tears. In the nine months that I have been on this journey, I can't remember once that I felt like I absolutely binged like this - and even for something that I didn't like all that much.

I'm trying to sort through what bad choices I made this afternoon and what prompted me to make them. I haven't sorted yet, and I'm still feeling blue, but I have the rest of the evening to make good choices and tomorrow is another day. My perfectionist tendencies want to beat myself up, punish myself, make myself do penance; but this will do no good.

So the rational side of me is trying to evaluate and learn from the whole thing so that I don't repeat this again.

emoticon emoticon

Better choices ahead!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LENNY48 1/10/2010 5:37PM

    Part of the journey to a new life style. MOst likely it will happen again and that is OK. Again, this is a lifestyle not a diet. Giver yourself a break!

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SCORPION1352 1/9/2010 7:17PM

    You can't beat yourself up over this all your going to do is come up bloody. We all make those stupid mistakes and we all LEARN from them which you have, so I say good for you making better choices is the answer.

Marty emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon emoticon God Bless

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JFROGDIVA 1/9/2010 7:16PM

    New Perspective: It was a mug.....NOT a big cake!!!! Yes, you shouldn't have eaten it, especially the whole thing, BUT it was a MUG!!!! NOW......get back on your journey to a healthier lifestyle!!!! You CAN do this!!!! You will have days where your choices are lacking, but you need to learn from them & move on!!!! I can have cake & ice cream in the house & never touch it, but put a bag of M&Ms in my house & I eat them all without stopping!!!! We all have our weaknesses & we have to learn to avoid or control them.....farther on your journey you may have learned & grown enough to eat a bite or two of cake, but right now you can't!!

NOW...stand up, dust yourself off, & get back up on the wagon & progress on your journey!!!! We ALL have these days!! Next time you are tempted.... stop, drop & roll!!!! stop where you are.....drop whatever food is tempting you....."roll" away from the area of temptation & get on here & talk to one of us!! We are here for you!!!!
Hugzz ~ Jae emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/9/2010 7:21:28 PM

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New Year's Resolutions Are Made to be Broken

Friday, January 01, 2010

New Year's resolutions don't hold much weight with me. Somehow, over the years, it seems every New Year's resolution I have made has turned to ashes in such a short time; and I've seen the same happening in the lives of others. So I've come to the conclusion that they are made to be broken.

Now, before you write me off - read on!

For several years, I have made no New Year's resolutions because I just didn't keep them. This led in a downward spiral of drifting and despair - a place where it seemed I just gave up and happen what will! This led to a lot of problems - my weight, my health, my relationships, my marriage, my social life, my home - all suffered because of my "I give up" attitude. I would look at my situations and they looked like mountains to climb for which I had no energy or inner strength.

Why didn't my New Year's resolutions work in the past, along with so many other people? In musing on this, I believe many of them are just too broad. Maybe the resolution is, "I'm going to lose weight this year," or "I'm going to get out of debt this year," or "I'm going to get my house picked up this year."

All of these are wonderful goals, but they lack something. They are so broad that instead of creating a road to travel, they present an insurmountable mountain. At the start of my weight loss journey, I had 157 pounds I wanted to lose. It surely, surely looked like a mountain. Wow - that's a whole person! How did I ever let it come to this? For so long, this quickly became a downward spiral of defeat. What I needed to do is start taking baby steps. In fact, although I didn't consciously make it so, "baby steps" has somewhat been my mantra in 2009. And when I began to take one day at a time, even one choice at a time, things began happening.

When I saw that I could make the choice just for today to walk 1 mile, that's all I had to do. I don't have to walk tomorrow or next year's miles today. All I ask of myself is 1 mile today. When I saw that I could make the choice just for today to say no to that second cookie, that's all I had to do. I don't have to limit tomorrow or next year's calories today. All I ask of myself is limit myself today. This is not to negate the importance of planning; planning is part of the baby steps and vitally important.

I would be remiss not to give honor where honor is due and thank God for the insights, the answered prayers, the daily strength and the courage that he has given me. He is my all!

As I saw the success that started coming when I took baby steps and made wise choices regarding my health, I realized that the same principle carries through in other areas of my life and I began applying the baby step principle to relationships, to my marriage, to my housekeeping; and I found that it works. It gives me the freedom to realize, as I posted in my "When You Come to a Standstill" blog, that I don't need to get discouraged because I haven't arrived at my ultimate goal. Since I'm taking one day at a time, one step at a time, it means that I am exactly where I am supposed to be on my journey.

This, I can do! I once heard the quote that nothing succeeds like success. And how true it is! Instead of a downward spiral, this begins an upward spiral that leads from one step up to another until, before you know it, you have learned to make wise choices and formed good habits. Do away with the "all or none" mentality and take a day at a time, a step at a time, a choice at a time!

Does this mean that I never have or never will make a bad choice, or misstep? Absolutely not. But the beauty is, when viewing life through a baby step mentality, it is only a step. I've not totally derailed my goals by one misstep.

So, for 2010, I'm not making resolutions; however, I'm not in despair as I was one year ago. When I look back over 2009, I am incredibly amazed at the progress I've made in so many areas, not just my weight loss. This progress was not made with a big resolution. This progress was made with many small resolutions, baby steps if you will, one choice at a time. This is what I want to continue doing in 2010. In fact, I've been musing what my personal motto should be for 2010 and as I've been writing this blog, I think I have settled on my 2010 motto: "Baby Steps - One Choice At a Time" and am going to change my spark page title accordingly.

For me, it's into 2010 with baby steps - one choice at a time!

Do you make New Year's resolutions? Do you keep them? If not, what would help you keep them? Do you have the all or none mentality, or do you believe in baby steps? What have you found works for you?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOV4WARD 1/7/2010 4:31PM

    emoticoni get that :)

baby steps are what you truly can do today! It will be exciting to see where you walk in 2010.

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    We have alot in common, I wrote about baby steps on my blog. I also like "give us today THIS DAY'S bread"; daily bread; daily walk; not tomorrow's, not next week, not next month's or next year's walking. Yep!

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THEATERCHICK18 1/1/2010 9:53PM

    glad to see you back on spark! been awhile since ive read one of your blogs. nice plan on the baby steps. I think for me it works with the all or none because it gives me a kickstart and then afterwards it helps me not feel so bad for messing something up since I know all the hard work I put in so far. For example today, I exercised for an hour and did strength as well and then ate until I was full- under my calories but not over on any categories which shows I am able to make smart choices and continue towards my goal.

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JFROGDIVA 1/1/2010 8:55PM

    I agree that baby steps is the way to go!!!! I do goals not resolutions!! I am no longer an all or nothing person!! I am one step at a time toward my goal!!!!

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WANTSZU 1/1/2010 4:56PM

    I liked your blog. One choice at a time! Since life is all about choices, this works. Since joining spark, although I haven't lost the weight I wanted to, I have been more patient with myself. I am exercising more and eating better. Oh, I get out of control with my eating, but when I know I can start over at the next meal, I don't go into a panic about it. I focus on one goal at a time.

Have a Happy New Year.

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GLEN4536 1/1/2010 11:30AM

  I wright down ten things I would like to accomplish, I put them in an envelope,open the envelope Dec 31st , then see how many i actually stuck usually it' about four, so not bad, but I never stress over resolutions, I am in God Hands
Happy Healthy New Year

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No Room in the Inn

Friday, December 25, 2009

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. Luke 2:7

No room in the inn - this grips my heart today. It is so easy to let the clamoring of life take over and relinquish Jesus to the slots wher we can fit him in.

I am challenged to give place in my inn for the one who can make me whole. Just as I make time on a regular basis for eating, sleeping, showering, exercising - I need to carve out and protect my relationship with Jesus by prioritizing and nurturing it on a regular basis.

No room in the inn? I want to swing wide the door of my inn and make room for the Christ child, the crucified Savior, the resurrected Lord, and the coming King. He is my all.

Have you read the Christmas story today? Read and be blessed. If you look for a blessing, you will find it. Make room in your inn for Him.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Great blog.

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LINDA6105 12/26/2009 9:14PM


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JFROGDIVA 12/25/2009 4:30PM

    Amen & Amen!!!! You are so very right!!!! I teach an Adult Sunday School class & I just developed a study on the Holy Spirit!!!! It has made me ACUTELY aware of how "life" is crowding Jesus out at times & I need to correct this!!!! Thank you for the reminder!!!!
Hugzz ~ Jae

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NELLIEC 12/25/2009 3:50PM

    Yes! That is why our Spark Team is called Christian Women Putting God First!!!

Each of us needs to examine our lives and see that we ARE putting Him first!!!

May God bless you!!!

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