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Wild Ride & Car Damage Results in Stress Binge

Friday, May 27, 2011

So . . . last night on my way home from work - that lovely 90 mile commute, I hit a hail storm; or rather, I should say, it hit me - my car to be exact! Wow! Where is an underpass when you need it?

Driving along, keep hearing the tornado warning alert for the counties that I am driving through, see the dark, dark clouds ahead, see that I am driving straight into the heart of one hellacious thunderstorm. In hindsight, should have gotten off the interstate, found someplace to park my car under a roof (Pilot, Sheetz, etc.) and stayed put until it passed. But stubborn me thinks I'm not a wimpy driver and I can do this. By now it is raining torrents and extremely gusty winds. I see an underpass, see a vehicle stopped under it and think once again, I am not a wimpy driver I can do this, and keep going, not thinking about the consequences of hail. About now the hail starts, small at first, now larger. Now I am earnestly wishing for that underpass I just turned down. Now it is pelting down. I think I'll keep driving until I find an underpass to pull under. By now, it is raining so hard, and my car is being pelted by quarter to golf ball size hailstones and I absolutely cannot see to drive. I pull off the side of the road and put my 4-way flashers on. Every car has pulled off the road - not a one is attempting to make it through this storm. As I sit in the storm, hail hits my car so hard the car literally rocks when it hits. I entertain the thought that it might break a window. Water gushes down the interstate like a river with a stream of hailstones floating atop it. I have my radio blasting and can hardly even hear it. I turn the radio off and sit in my own little world surrounded by the fiercest rain/hail storm I have ever been in. I call my husband on my cell phone and can hardly hear him above the noise of the storm. Later, my husband said I was shouting, he thought I was scared. Well, I don't know that I was really scared, although it was not the most comforting situation I have ever been in; I was more sick over what I knew was happening to my car that I've only had for 7 weeks. I was shouting because I couldn't hear him; consequently, it stands to reason I must shout so he can hear me, right? emoticon

I don't know how long I sit there, maybe five minutes, the storm abates a bit, enough that I think I will attempt to drive to find an underpass. About a mile down the road, I find one, but guess what - no vacancy. It is just full up, strung straight across the road, road blocked tight. Every vehicle crammed in there that could possibly fit. I squirm in and get the nose of my car under it, for whatever good it might do. When the hail stops, the rest of the cars pull out and I pull in, stop and get out to look at the damage - wow! Sickening!

I head down the road again, hail gone, but torrential downpour of rain. Leaves, tree branches, debris littering the road like a carpet. Uh, oh, hail again, smaller, marble size, but this time, when I hit the underpass, I stop under it and wait for the hail to subside. The remainder of my ride home is through some heavy rain for a time, but uneventful.

I've looked at the car this morning, it is even worse than I thought. Dimpled on every surface, much like a golf ball. So one more layer of stress has been added to my plate and I haven't handled it well this morning. I've eaten horribly - after these weeks of doing so good and thinking I'm getting back on track, how can one stressful situation so quickly make me forget all I've learned and all I've struggled for?

I feel like this is going to be the struggle of a lifetime. Will I ever get to the place that I don't react to stress by reaching for food? It's like a nasty little gremlin inside of me reaches out for the junk food when the stress level rises without asking me, without my permission, without even alerting me. I know - don't tell me it doesn't help - I know that! It only makes me feel guilty, which adds more stress, which makes me want to indulge more, which adds more guilt, which adds more stress which . . .

Thankfully, I am safe and unhurt. I think of the people in Joplin MO, Japan and other places who have suffered monstrous losses and realize I have much to be grateful for. I've called the insurance company, thankfully, we're covered! I've called the auto body shop, thankfully, they are in today. Interestingly enough, when I called the body shop and said what I needed, her comment was, "Oh, yeah!" I said, "I bet you are getting a lot of calls." Her reply, "Oh, yeah! Including two of my bosses." My comment, "It was bad!" "Oh, yeah!" This seemed to be her phrase of the morning, "Oh, yeah!" Thankfully, I'm off work today and can take the car in to get an estimate on repair.

Thankfully, just because I've started my day off wrong, doesn't mean that I need to finish it wrong. I can change this now; I don't need to wait until tomorrow. And thankfully, I have SP. If it weren't for you dear friends, I would have already gone off the deep end on a binge big time. This is my anchor and I am truly thankful for SP and for YOU.

Do you struggle with stress eating? How do you overcome it? Tell me your secrets? I really want to know how to end this never ending struggle?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRAMMACATHY 6/8/2011 6:19PM

    Wow! I am going to have to subscribe to your blogs. What an amazing adventure. I am sorry about your car, but the storm must have been adrenaline charging.
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LYNDALOVES2HIKE 5/27/2011 4:15PM

    How scary!! Wow! I guess I am a 'wimpy driver' because that sort of thing would have had me huddled somewhere for sure - esp the tornado warnings! It's funny - I live in California and when I visited Texas, where they have tornado warnings all the time, people would say 'oh, I'd be so afraid of earthquakes' - well, news flash - a big earthquake is every decade or so, a really big one is very rare, but some of these places in the midwest seem to get clobbered by tornado damage every year! Well, maybe it's just perspective - the devil you know and all that stuff!!

I am SOOO sorry about your car but gosh, REALLY GLAD you are OK! It could have been worse, as you say - and I am glad you 'only' had body damage to the car!

As for the binge, I think it's pretty normal for us to react that way - yes, it's better to learn a healthier way to react but let's just say I wish I had a dime for every time someone binged after a stressful event - you'll do better for the rest of the day and hope you have a wonderful Memorial day weekend!!


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LYNDALOVES2HIKE 5/27/2011 4:12PM

    How scary!! Wow! I guess I am a 'wimpy driver' because that sort of thing would have had me huddled somewhere for sure - esp the tornado warnings! It's funny - I live in California and when I visited Texas, where they have tornado warnings all the time, people would say 'oh, I'd be so afraid of earthquakes' - well, news flash - a big earthquake is every decade or so, a really big one is very rare, but some of these places in the midwest seem to get clobbered by tornado damage every year! Well, maybe it's just perspective - the devil you know and all that stuff!!

I am SOOO sorry about your car but gosh, REALLY GLAD you are OK! It could have been worse, as you say - and I am glad you 'only' had body damage to the car!

As for the binge, I think it's pretty normal for us to react that way - yes, it's better to learn a healthier way to react but let's just say I wish I had a dime for every time someone binged after a stressful event - you'll do better for the rest of the day and hope you have a wonderful Memorial day weekend!!


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STRONGIAM 5/27/2011 2:39PM

    Came back to share a post by Indygirl that was featured today and it was about binge eating. Maybe something she wrote will help:
http://www.dailyspark.com/
blog.asp?post=tips_how_to_stop_
a_binge

(you may have to copy and paste the link)

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CAROLFAITHWALKR 5/27/2011 2:04PM

    I don't know how I got unsubscribed, but I re-subscribed. Wow what a harrowing ride. Yes you should have pulled in but don't beat yourself up, that is in the past now.

Stress eating: this was a pop quiz. You failed this one but don't worry, you'll have another opportunity at the next pop quiz. Life will keep you supplied with new opportunities for new pop quizzes.

Base your strategy on Seven Words.

SEVEN WORDS:
Advanced Decision Making
Daily Integrity

1. Advanced Decision Making - since you know it's a pop quiz and another one is coming up, you just don't know when, what can you do differently in the same circumstances next time? Make a list. What you are able to do next time, and also what you are willing to do next time. Also, next time is sure to be DIFFERENT circumstances just to mess you up. So ALSO brainstorm and make a list, what can you differently in a different scenario next time?

2. Daily Integrity - this is a muscle exercise. You just have to muscle through it each time, no shortcuts here. The muscle will get stronger over time as you strength train it. Except this muscle is mental. Stephen Covey, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", describes this muscle as the Space between stimulus and response, this muscle is the freedom to choose. Between stimulus and response, there is a Space, and in that Space lies your choice. As you exercise this muscle, your personal freedom grows and expands. In the beginning there is NO space, what do you mean space!, it went by so fast I doubt there was one, and if there was one it was too small to see or act upon, I am a victim, I am powerless, I HAD NO CHOICE. That's how it FEELS, but, there IS a space between S&R, during the next pop quiz have one of your goals to look for it and find it and notice it. But it's there. And it can grow. So now the next pop quiz looks like a valuable opportunity, instead of something you dread and have homework preparation to do for; it's an opportunity to expand your space and your personal freedom.

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LIFEWALK 5/27/2011 12:31PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I did both, and with sickerettes, we walk away... with food, we change our eating patterns and that takes time, pondering & trying new strategies/patterns, practice, adjustments and more practice... and it is a spiral with the old patterns fading.

and the important thing here for me was to realize this cycle of relearning & practicing and easing off is a normal improvement process... nothing to be ashamed of.... and is the usual path to overcoming this struggle...

i find that acute stress triggers the old patterns, as does, to my surprise taking pain pills...

as you said, most importantly, you are here & safe.... sorry about your car... I know it was new, shiny & bright... :::pouts & sticks out lip::: it bumped into a freak accident...

so now you shouldn't be afraid to get a small nick, scrape, dent, bump or spot on it, huh?

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k, maybe too early for a joke!

after we got dh's brand spankin new work truck, a horse backed into it & used it to scratch its tukus... leaving a rump sized indent on the truck... that remains to this day... dh wanted to get it fixed but we decided such was the life of a work truck...

cars not so much, i hope they can fix it for you.... the damage sounds awful... let us know... :)

Comment edited on: 5/27/2011 12:34:11 PM

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WARMSPRINGDAY 5/27/2011 11:28AM

    Strongiam's comment about quitting smoking makes me think about the fact that probably most of us reach for something: food, a cigarette, a beer. Some of us have learned to reach for healthier things. Why can't I be motivated to reach for that bag of baby carrots or celery sticks?
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STRONGIAM 5/27/2011 11:09AM

    emoticon So glad you are OK. That is a very scary situation to be in! You have answered your on question by saying "Thankfully, just because I've started my day off wrong, doesn't mean that I need to finish it wrong." We are human. We have reactions to stress.

Think about how you may have reacted to such a stressful situation before. You probably would have stayed on a binge for a much longer period of time, maybe not even recognizing what was happening.

You are stopping that downward spiral. I struggle with stress eating also. I TRY to not have things in the house that would severly impact my eating (like Cheezit)so if I do start stress eating it won't be "junk food". But, I would like to find some other way to cope with stress that becomes automatic instead of food.

One thing I did learn from quitting smoking is to take deep breaths. Sometimes when I feel myself getting worked up over something and my mind is racing, I take several deep breaths and it seems to help bring things into better focus and has a calming effect.

Didn't mean for this to turn out so long. Again, very happy that YOU are ok! emoticon

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Don't Eat Your Way Out of the Pit

Thursday, May 26, 2011

I get Proverbs 31 Ministries emails daily. This one hit especially close home.

devotions.proverbs31.org/2011/05/don
t-eat-your-way-out-of-the-pit.html


Good news: I was able to take two bites of chocolate and put the rest back because it wasn't as good as I anticipated and I decided it wasn't worth the calories. This has been happening more frequently, and this is progress!

Have a blessed day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LYNDALOVES2HIKE 5/26/2011 10:11PM

    emoticon

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LIFEWALK 5/26/2011 12:16PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STRONGIAM 5/26/2011 10:17AM

    Thank you for sharing this link. It was much needed amongst turmoil this week. The first half of Daniel is one of my favorite scriptures. There are tons of lessons there to apply to our everyday lives. Congratulations on your progress!

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RAINBOWFALLS 5/26/2011 8:32AM

    Great job with the chocolate control!

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-POOKIE- 5/26/2011 6:21AM

    *hugs* thats good xxx

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Up Up and Away

Monday, May 23, 2011

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My weekly goal of 3 miles has already been met and it is only Monday.

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Now that's what I'm talking about!

Big goals are good, but little goals that I can reach are more encouraging and result in that upward spiral I keep talking about - up up and away! Feels better than the downward spiral, that's for sure.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIFEWALK 5/24/2011 4:31PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonSparktacular!!! *yay* u :)

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JKN049 5/24/2011 11:21AM

    Way to go!!

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LYNDALOVES2HIKE 5/24/2011 11:10AM

    emoticon indeed!!!

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RAINBOWFALLS 5/24/2011 9:31AM

    I need to climb on my upward spirial!

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-POOKIE- 5/24/2011 1:55AM

    *waves pompoms gently*

Way to go!

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CANDY58 5/23/2011 9:43PM

    emoticon

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PINKHOPE 5/23/2011 9:39PM

   
Smaller goals allow us to feel a sense of accomplishment which spurs us onward - well done!

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KIYOSHI04 5/23/2011 9:34PM

    great job, you!!

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Fresh Start

Sunday, May 22, 2011

I'm giving myself a fresh start. I have hung my head in shame for too long and struggled beneath the guilt of "failure."

Naked truth: I've gained 20 pounds since the first of the year. I didn't step on the scale for weeks because I didn't want to know what it was going to say. I've done mindless grazing, binging, and I haven't exercised. My smaller clothes are a wee bit snug. And instead of lifting my head and doing what had to be done, I've allowed depression and self-loathing to take me further down the spiral. This is the point where in the past, I've given up and gained back my weight.

I found a before picture of myself. I do not, repeat, DO NOT want to go there again.

I'm not home free, but I've re-set my long term goals. I've put it off because I felt like I didn't deserve a fresh start. But to not re-set and re-structure always puts me behind and sets me up for failure. I'm a perfectionist. That doesn't mean I do things perfectly by a long shot. What it does mean is that I am very hard on myself when I don't live up to my expectations. I want to turn this around to be an upward spiral, not downward; therefore, I am giving myself a fresh start.

My current weight is 252. This means in reality, I have lost only 50 pounds from my starting weight (hangs head in shame). I've been gut wrenchingly honest with myself and changed my weigh in my SP account. Honesty with myself is key, I know it, and I've been avoiding instead.

I've also changed my goal weight to 165 instead of 145. Ultimately, I think I want to reach 145, but I'm going to evaluate that when I get there. I weighed 165 when I got married. So my goal is to reach 165 by my 27th anniversary, April 19, 2013.

I look at this and it seems like a somewhat distant and wimpy goal. But my current job situation does not allow me a great deal of time for exercise. And once again, I want to set myself up for success, not failure. This delays my goal weight by a great deal, but as long as I can keep myself moving in the right direction, this is good.

I would like to lose the extra 20 pounds I've gained by the end of September.

To get myself started with some baby steps and not be overwhelmed, here are some of my short term goals:

Walk minimum of 3 miles per week and burn 400 calories - to help get myself motivated, the last two days I went back to my favorite walking spot for a fresh spark in my walks. Here is a picture of my favorite spot on the walk. I like to stop here to do my stretches and some deep breathing.


Drink 8 cups of water at least 4 days per week

Take steps to get my eating under control, this will be a multiple step process. Week before last, I went three days sugar free to try to stop the binging urge. It has helped and is a blog in itself.

This week's baby step goals:
Walk at least 3 miles
Do stretch exercises at least 3 times
Drink 8 cups of water at least 4 days
Do not eat from the bag or box. Portion out my serving and put the bag and box away.

I know I can achieve these baby steps. I can and I will!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINBOWFALLS 5/23/2011 1:26PM

    Great goals - I felt like I was reading what I should be writing. I too have put off the scale and resetting my ticker... It needs to be done to make me accountable! Best of luck to you.

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CINDERRELIC 5/23/2011 11:22AM

    You can do it Thelma. I let weight creep up on me, too, and I am getting serious now. I did have my goal weigh at 155 and reached that once and then when my husband got sick and I was eating out and in the hospital I gained some. I thought I would take it right off but I didn't. Sending you support in reconfirming your goals. We can do this!!!!

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ALWAYS_TRYING70 5/23/2011 10:28AM

    one step at a time, one day at a time....it all adds up! you are doing awesome and will get to where you are going with the positive attitude. we all know how hard it is to do this and with no direction it can't even begin! you have it all in place! good for you! stay strong! you will do it! i know it!

emoticon... emoticon... emoticon

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MIMAWELIZABETH 5/23/2011 5:25AM

    I did this too - a true "resetting", not the typical "restart" - and am SO grateful Sparkpeople has the means and tools and support to get us through whatever ups and downs we're facing.

Your blog is so honest and forthright - whenever you think you might be backsliding, just read it again and I'm sure you'll find your motivation renewed! Just one change: no more shame!

As for your "wimpy" goal, it sounds REALISTIC to me! It won't seem so weak when you break it down into smaller goals; such as, focus on losing 20# - adjust to that weight - lose 20# more.

emoticon ~ BEST WISHES ~ emoticon

I know you can do it!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRAMMACATHY 5/23/2011 12:56AM

    emoticon Every day is a new opportunity. I finally had to start weighing daily so I could catch the back slides immediately and amp up the quality of my food intake. I also decided I could not look at the whole picture either and just put ten pound goals on my ticker. The ticker slides faster and is more rewarding. You already know about the three day sugar and wheat fasts. Let me know when you are ready to try another one. I would love to do it with you.

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LIFEWALK 5/22/2011 8:22PM

    emoticon emoticoni just know emoticon emoticon

all seems realistic & doable and I hear the desire in your voice. It usually takes me a few up/downs to get going again after a major collapse, so I really liked reading that you have some baby steps laid out.... I can so relate to not eating out of boxes & bags! Drinking water etc... And I love your fav spot, what a peaceful place. Have a gr8 week & let us know how you do :)

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FLYINGB16 5/22/2011 5:01PM

    I am so proud of you! What a coincidence that we are having the same struggles at the same time and announcing our re-commitment on the same morning!

You new goals sound realistic and achievable. It's better to set small goals and reach them then to set lofty ones and not succeed. The baby goals got us to where we are now so lets keep going! I just got home from the grocery store and I am stocked up with healthy foods and fresh produce.

I need to wash and chop everything so I can be ready for the week. I know this week is going to be significant in a lot of ways. I need to be strong.

We can do this together although you have the strength to do it all on your own. I'm here if you need me.

Hugs,
Bonnie

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WINFIELD28 5/22/2011 4:55PM

    Your goals are so good! We all need to be gentle with ourselves, by taking small steps and re-adjusting our goals along the way if necessary. There is nothing wrong with that. I love that you mentioned that you want to set yourself up to succeed. That's a key point, I think. Do what helps you succeed. I am taking this journey slowly, adjusting as I need to. For I have lost and regained weight too many times in my life. I want to succeed and setting one's self up to succeed is self care and self love at it's best. I know you will reach your long term goals. Small steps do add up!
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STRONGIAM 5/22/2011 2:28PM

    Those goals are excellent ones for this coming week. I firmly believe that everyone gets off track at some point. It's great that you recognized it for what it is and you have the courage to face it head-on and overcome.

I can see why that is your favorite walking spot. It is beautiful.

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JKN049 5/22/2011 12:24PM

    Let's take a look at some of the positives here.....YOU have lost 50 lbs!!!! That is a HUGE accomplishment - especially when you consider all the stressors you have been dealing with. I applaud you!!! I realize you are disappointed with the direction your program has taken lately but you can still turn it around and you have taken the steps to do so....The determination I see (and hear) in your last 2 statements - knowing "I can achieve these baby steps" and "I can and I will!" You are mentally getting your head in the right place so you can focus on these goals and achieve them. Remember 1/3 nutrition, 1/3 fitness, and 1/3 positive attitude (from one of your blogs) and also remember, I'm cheering for you all the way!!! If I can help in some way, just let me know because I KNOW:

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BELFASTBIKER 5/22/2011 12:08PM

    Good on you - similar boat for me. So much harder this time round... but we'll get there.

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-POOKIE- 5/22/2011 12:03PM

    *hugs* being honest with yourself is important... I mean, who else are you kidding if you dont change your weigh-in on here?

your baby goals are great and achievable and will inspire you on to keeping going.

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In Memory of WILLOWWINDS

Friday, May 20, 2011

Stop telling God how Big your storm is. Instead tell the Storm how BIG your God is.

This was the title of this inspiring woman's Spark Page. She faced daily odds in various ways. Yet, she maintained her faith in a faithful God and she always had an inspirational story to brighten her own day and ours.

WILLOWINDS - I never met her in person, yet her friendship was as real as if she lived next door. We shared some similar situations. We shared a kinship of grief in the loss of our mothers. She offered to me prayer, comfort, encouragement, inspiration and yes, friendship.

She has fought, and fought well; and our loss is heaven's gain.

Pray for her husband and her family. Spark People has lost a great motivator.

Thank you WILLOWINDS for all you have taught me about life and living and how to face the knocks that life throws our way. Thank you for letting your light shine in your corner of Spark world to me and all of your other 451 friends. God will reward you in ways that we never could have. A spark goodie to be envied for sure! You will be missed!

You can visit her page here: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=WI
LLOWWINDS


If you would like to send a card to her family, you can get contact information here: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4245530


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 3/22/2012 6:36AM

    She was an amazing woman and my friend too. She was poor but Oh so rich.

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SHERYLDS 3/17/2012 1:56PM

    Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality.
~Emily Dickinson

sorry for your loss

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PATTIE441 3/16/2012 4:56PM

    Very sorry for your loss. She sounds so amazing and wonderful. My thoughts and prayers go out to all. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KOPSBABY 3/16/2012 3:01PM

    I'm so sorry to hear this. Prayers and thoughts going out to the family and to you.

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KATHYJO56 3/16/2012 2:39PM

    I was so sorry when I learned of her passing. Thank you for writing this touching tribute.

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NEW-CAZ 3/16/2012 2:25PM

    thank you for letting us know, so sorry

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GRACEISENUF 5/24/2011 12:13PM

    Beautiful, thanks for letting me know about this tribute and also for stopping by and reading mine.

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RAINBOWFALLS 5/21/2011 5:56PM

    Very nice... emoticon emoticon

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WARMSPRINGDAY 5/21/2011 7:52AM

    I've added contact information if you knew her and would like to send condolences to the family.

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_pu
blic_journal_individual.asp?blo
g_id=4245530

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MRE1956 5/21/2011 7:23AM

    Oh, dear - such a shame.....my best to her family and friends.....

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LYNDALOVES2HIKE 5/21/2011 1:01AM

    Thanks for letting us know = how inspiring!!

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GRAMMACATHY 5/20/2011 10:58PM

    Thank you for sharing with us. I will go to her page now. You and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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STRONGIAM 5/20/2011 10:13PM

    I am so sorry. I never got the pleasure of "knowing" her on SP. I looked at her page and could tell that she was an outstanding person. emoticon

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UNSTOPPABLE_ 5/20/2011 9:55PM

    Thank you for letting us know!

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LIFEWALK 5/20/2011 9:09PM

    emoticonthank you for the word... {{{hugs}}}

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LINDA! 5/20/2011 8:55PM

    Oh, I am so sorry! I remember what a great person she was.

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KJWILSON211 5/20/2011 8:45PM

    Thank You for posting this I was thinking about her today, hoping she would be back soon. I looked forward to her posts daily and missed them. She will be sorely missed by all who knew her. God has called his angel home. I thank god for his grace for sharing her with us for a time. Rest in Peace Willow. emoticon emoticon

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JUSTJUSTY 5/20/2011 8:43PM

    emoticonSending my prayers and condolences.

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/20/2011 7:39PM

    omg...thank you for this post. I subscribed to her blogs & wondered why I had not heard from her. I'll go visit her page now. TRULY you are correct... our loss is Heaven's gain. She was a good friend and faithful woman. My prayers go out to her family & friends. emoticon

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