Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Very frustrating day at work. Ended in tears as I left late and called my husband on my way home from work.
Talk about emotional food craving. Of the 25 - 30 exits on my way home, every one of them had some fast food restaurant or convenience store calling my name as I went by - I mean I heard them! They were yelling at me! McDonald's said $1.00 burger, iced coffee or sweet tea; Wendy's said Frosty; Arby's said Jamocha shake; Sheetz said frozen mocha; Pilot said hot dog. They all wanted my attention. Wow, did I want comfort food! I ate my apple and drank 16 oz. of water as I drove along, and I just wasn't satisfied. My belly rumbled and I could seem to think about nothing but food. But as every one of them called my name, I waved, journeyed on and said "thank you very much, but no!"
When I got home, I gave myself a pat on the back as I sidestepped an old habit that I've been slipping back into; and I didn't reach for the junk food. I took another few swallows of water, got my chicken out of the crockpot; toasted my almonds and finished my whole wheat couscous, put a pile of veggies on my plate and ate a healthful meal. After determining that, yes, I am still hungry, I took two pieces of candy - that's a story in itself from my 100 day weight loss challenge, but I owed myself some chocolate, so I called in the debt. After about 1/2 hour, I was still hungry, true hunger, not emotional hunger. I opted for dessert - a banana and a cup of 1% milk.
Saying no to junk food after a stressful day? That's progress!
After my stressful day today, I decided that tomorrow I will treat myself to lunch out. I usually pack a healthy lunch, but once a month or so, I like to go out for lunch. I've gone online and looked at the menu, and although the sodium is shockingly high, I believe I will treat myself to lunch at Panera Bread: cup of black bean soup for 110 calories and a tomato mozzarella panini substituting plain whole grain bread for the ciabatta (sob sob - I love the ciabatta, but it adds 140 calories) for 250 calories. I'll finish it with a big glass of ice water with a lemon wedge.
Looking at menus and planning ahead of time what I will eat when I go out? That's progress!
Upward spiral - that's what I'm talking about!
What have you done today that shows progress or maintenance?
Monday, June 06, 2011
I wish I were writing an informational blog, but I'm not. I'm reaching out with questions. I've done some research on line, but I'd like to communicate with real, live people who have used it or know someone who has.
I've been having trouble sleeping. Could be from a multitude of things that I'm not going to go into here. My sister, who is a nurse, suggested maybe melatonin might help.
Here are my questions:
Does it leave you groggy in the morning? Did you talk to your doctor first or just start taking it? Do you use chemically prepared or animal based? Are there any side effects? How do you know what dosage to take? Do you need to take it continually or can you take it as needed? I'm considering melatonin as a possible sleep aid solution for me, so am trying to find everything out about it that I can.
Friday, June 03, 2011
I need to re-focus and re-gain momentum. KITT52 and LIFEWALK invited me to their 100 days of weight loss challenge team and I've taken them up on it.
I can't join them every day, but will join when I can so I'm playing catchup here. This challenge is based on the book 100 Days of Weight Loss by Linda Spangler. I'm currently checking with the library to see if they have it or can get it for me. I haven't read the book, but she is doing a daily blog which is helpful in and of itself, even without the book. She also has tools on her website that can be downloaded.
I've started a personal journal on the team with my personal journey on this weight loss challenge and might in the future post a link to that thread. For now, I've simply copied and pasted from my journal. My time is a limited commodity, so I won't have time for fancy. But I want to make it happen, and I think this will help me focus. Best wishes to all my spark friends.
Day 1 – I used to be that way
Make a list of any fears or negative behaviors that have hurt your weight-loss success in the past. Read each one out loud, and then say, “I used to be that way, but now I’m different.”
I used to drink iced tea and sweetened soda; now I drink 6 – 8 cups of water a day, rarely a sugar sweetened beverage, and once or twice a week an artificially sweetened beverage.
I used to be a couch potato and exercise was a bad word in my vocabulary; now I make it a goal to walk at least 3 miles per week and more as I can. I look for ways to be active instead of sedentary.
I used to eat junk food right out of the boxes and bags; now my goal is to portion out the amount I choose to eat and put the bag or box away.
I used to indiscriminately eat whatever pleased my tastebuds; now I try to prepare and choose healthful foods that nurture my body, reserving the tastebud pleasing foods for a treat.
I used to routinely take seconds of food at meals and eat until I was full; now I portion out the amount that I should have on a 9” plate and rarely take seconds.
I used to smother my oatmeal and even cold cereals with sugar; now I add no sugar to my cold cereals and measure out the amount of sugar I allow myself on my oatmeal.
I used to use sugar to sweeten everything, and lots of it: now I use sugar very sparingly, instead choosing Stevia and/or Splenda as at least part of the sweetener.
I used to think that weight loss and healthy living had to be an all or none mentality; now I believe that weight loss can be achieved through baby steps and changes that are doable.
I used to stay up late even though I had to get up early; now I try to guard my sleep time and have everything completed so I can be ready for bed between 9:00 – 9:30.
I used to plan my meals day by day and would end up making many pre-packaged foods and using mostly beef; now I plan my meals 1 - 2 weeks in advance and plan healthy balanced meals with lots of fiber and vegetables and a variety of proteins, including more chicken.
I used to fix my lunches in the morning, and when I had nothing on hand, would end up purchasing fast food for lunch; now I fix my lunch in the evening, down to packing it in my lunch bag and placing it in the fridge so that I can just grab and go with a healthy lunch.
I used to purchase snacks from the vending machine at work; now I take a yogurt for a morning snack and an apple for an afternoon snack, and a visit to the vending machine is very rare.
Day Two - Interested or Committed?
* Decide that you will always be committed to your weight-loss plan, not just interested. Write a declaration about your new level of commitment.
I will take care of myself first so that I am prepared to take care of others. I am committed to making this happen. When I have an appointment, I meet it. When I have a job, I show up. I will consider a healthier me part of my job. I will do it until it becomes ingrained habit.
* How will I do it?
I will look for fresh ways or places to exercise so that I enjoy it rather than it being a drudgery. I will try to buy snack foods for my husband that I don't particularly like so that I am not as tempted to eat them. I will look for someone that I am comfortable with to be accountable to for my exercise and my eating.
* What will I do today?
I will take a walk at my favorite walking spot and I will do stretching exercises after my walk.
Day 3 – Do It Anyway
*In your diet or exercise plan, identify a task you don’t feel like doing, and then do it anyway! Record it here.
I don't feel like walking, but I will do it.
*Notice how it feels to accomplish a goal by taking a “no matter what” approach to it. Describe your reaction.
It makes me feel strong and accomplished.
*Make a list of several actions you plan to stick with today, regardless of how you feel at the moment.
I will take a walk.
I will drink at least 6 cups of water
I will plan my menus for next week's meals
I will not eat the potato chips that are lurking in my cupboard.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
I've been struggling with binge eating - emotional eating sounds nicer, but the ugly fact remains. If you've been reading my recent blogs, you know this and are probably saying, "Okay, get on with it already."
Let me say for the record that I know the rule about if you don't buy it, you can't eat it. However, let me also say for the record, that I am not the only one in my household. My husband does not share my attitude toward the evils of potato chips, candy and Little Debbies; consequently, they are purchased for his enjoyment. It stands to reason that they are thus in my house. I've moved the candy dish to a spot where I need to go far out of my way to get to it. We've jokingly talked about storing some of these items in the safe for which I forget the combination. But maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea.
I came across a blog this morning that couldn't have been more timely and seems to be just what the doctor ordered for me. This is written by SP friend and inspiration ~INDYGIRL. If you have trouble with binge eating, or want to have knowledge to help someone who does, I encourage you to read it.
Wishing you a sparktacular weekend, my friends
Friday, May 27, 2011
So . . . last night on my way home from work - that lovely 90 mile commute, I hit a hail storm; or rather, I should say, it hit me - my car to be exact! Wow! Where is an underpass when you need it?
Driving along, keep hearing the tornado warning alert for the counties that I am driving through, see the dark, dark clouds ahead, see that I am driving straight into the heart of one hellacious thunderstorm. In hindsight, should have gotten off the interstate, found someplace to park my car under a roof (Pilot, Sheetz, etc.) and stayed put until it passed. But stubborn me thinks I'm not a wimpy driver and I can do this. By now it is raining torrents and extremely gusty winds. I see an underpass, see a vehicle stopped under it and think once again, I am not a wimpy driver I can do this, and keep going, not thinking about the consequences of hail. About now the hail starts, small at first, now larger. Now I am earnestly wishing for that underpass I just turned down. Now it is pelting down. I think I'll keep driving until I find an underpass to pull under. By now, it is raining so hard, and my car is being pelted by quarter to golf ball size hailstones and I absolutely cannot see to drive. I pull off the side of the road and put my 4-way flashers on. Every car has pulled off the road - not a one is attempting to make it through this storm. As I sit in the storm, hail hits my car so hard the car literally rocks when it hits. I entertain the thought that it might break a window. Water gushes down the interstate like a river with a stream of hailstones floating atop it. I have my radio blasting and can hardly even hear it. I turn the radio off and sit in my own little world surrounded by the fiercest rain/hail storm I have ever been in. I call my husband on my cell phone and can hardly hear him above the noise of the storm. Later, my husband said I was shouting, he thought I was scared. Well, I don't know that I was really scared, although it was not the most comforting situation I have ever been in; I was more sick over what I knew was happening to my car that I've only had for 7 weeks. I was shouting because I couldn't hear him; consequently, it stands to reason I must shout so he can hear me, right?
I don't know how long I sit there, maybe five minutes, the storm abates a bit, enough that I think I will attempt to drive to find an underpass. About a mile down the road, I find one, but guess what - no vacancy. It is just full up, strung straight across the road, road blocked tight. Every vehicle crammed in there that could possibly fit. I squirm in and get the nose of my car under it, for whatever good it might do. When the hail stops, the rest of the cars pull out and I pull in, stop and get out to look at the damage - wow! Sickening!
I head down the road again, hail gone, but torrential downpour of rain. Leaves, tree branches, debris littering the road like a carpet. Uh, oh, hail again, smaller, marble size, but this time, when I hit the underpass, I stop under it and wait for the hail to subside. The remainder of my ride home is through some heavy rain for a time, but uneventful.
I've looked at the car this morning, it is even worse than I thought. Dimpled on every surface, much like a golf ball. So one more layer of stress has been added to my plate and I haven't handled it well this morning. I've eaten horribly - after these weeks of doing so good and thinking I'm getting back on track, how can one stressful situation so quickly make me forget all I've learned and all I've struggled for?
I feel like this is going to be the struggle of a lifetime. Will I ever get to the place that I don't react to stress by reaching for food? It's like a nasty little gremlin inside of me reaches out for the junk food when the stress level rises without asking me, without my permission, without even alerting me. I know - don't tell me it doesn't help - I know that! It only makes me feel guilty, which adds more stress, which makes me want to indulge more, which adds more guilt, which adds more stress which . . .
Thankfully, I am safe and unhurt. I think of the people in Joplin MO, Japan and other places who have suffered monstrous losses and realize I have much to be grateful for. I've called the insurance company, thankfully, we're covered! I've called the auto body shop, thankfully, they are in today. Interestingly enough, when I called the body shop and said what I needed, her comment was, "Oh, yeah!" I said, "I bet you are getting a lot of calls." Her reply, "Oh, yeah! Including two of my bosses." My comment, "It was bad!" "Oh, yeah!" This seemed to be her phrase of the morning, "Oh, yeah!" Thankfully, I'm off work today and can take the car in to get an estimate on repair.
Thankfully, just because I've started my day off wrong, doesn't mean that I need to finish it wrong. I can change this now; I don't need to wait until tomorrow. And thankfully, I have SP. If it weren't for you dear friends, I would have already gone off the deep end on a binge big time. This is my anchor and I am truly thankful for SP and for YOU.
Do you struggle with stress eating? How do you overcome it? Tell me your secrets? I really want to know how to end this never ending struggle?
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