Sunday, April 03, 2011
My last day of work at my job was Friday, April 1. No, they didn't come and tell us that it was an April fool's joke. Our facility really is closing. It was an emotional time for me to clean out my desk and say goodbye to friends I have made over the past 11 years.
The good news is that I have a new, albeit, temporary job to go to. That's not something that many of my co-workers can say.
The bad news is that I will be commuting 90 miles one way four days per week. The job offer came from the company that I have worked for for the past 11 years. It took awhile and a series of events to bring me around to truly considering making the commute; but when this job offer came, they made some concessions for me and nothing else was lined up, so I've accepted it. I didn't say anything here, because I wanted to make sure that all was in place before I let my Spark friends know my plans. I will be doing something totally different from what I have been doing in the past. I think I will enjoy the work; I don't expect it to be peaches and cream, but I expect that it will be hard work, and hopefully rewarding. I will get a three day weekend, Friday through Sunday. This is proposed for a six month period. This will give me time to continue looking for something closer home and permanent. I pray that God will provide in his time. My husband and I have had to make a lot of quick decisions in a very short time, but we both feel good about the decisions that we have made. My family and some of my friends prayed me through these decisions and I felt carried and very at peace through it all.
I will be gone from home four 11 hour days in a row, travel time included. I expect I will be keeping my crockpots very busy this summer. I am especially interested in hearing about crockpot recipes that can cook for 11 hours or so without being overdone. Let me know if you have any.
I'm still struggling with both my eating and the walking. I've gained a bit of weight again - sigh! I keep asking myself why this is so hard for me. I've just lost my momentum that I had at first, especially since my mother's death and just haven't been able to seem to pick back up properly. I am concerned about the walking with these long days this summer, so am trying to think and plan how to work it in. I think I will actually be better off with the eating, because I will pretty much just be able to eat what I take with me, and with my crockpot going, hopefully dinner will be ready when I get home. So I'm hoping that I can keep the snacking under control. I'm ashamed to tell you all this, but once again, honesty with you and myself is the only way to conquer. You, my friends, are my anchor in this healthy lifestyle journey, so don't give up on me.
My sparking will need to be limited this summer pretty much to weekends. But I do hope to log on every day enough to spin the wheel and at least update my status with the wheel spin to keep my focus on healthy living and what you all expect of me. Just logging in is a reminder of my goals. So when you see that on my feed, know I'm keeping my roots here, even though I may not get around to you as individuals as much as I would like.
Thank you to all of you for your support during dark and difficult days of my life. I am feeling stronger and better able to cope and pray that God grants me strength for the days ahead. I know he will, for where he calls, he enables. My daily cry to him during difficult days has been, "I hang my hope on you alone." There have been days that was all I could muster, and he held me fast. I feel that he has handed me a lifeline with this job offer; and although it is not ideal, I know that unfortunately, life is not perfect. Sometimes, we do what we must whether it is our first choice or not. That is where I am, and I believe he will see me through.
Tonight is 34 weeks since my Mother left us and I miss her so dearly. It has been difficult making all these decisions and changes of plans without her here to talk to and pray for me. But I trust her prayers follow me still. I love you, Mom!
Blessings to each of you!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
A friend sent me this link and it added a bright spot to my day. It's a live webcam of an eagle's nest. I'd like to watch it all day - fascinating. There are three eaglets. Mom or Dad was on the nest with them this morning. I'd love to see when they fly.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I've been in a deep, dark place. I really thought that I would handle a job loss better than I have been, I've found myself not as strong as I hoped I would be. But, on the other hand, to be kind to myself, I've had a lot else going on, as all of us do.
Dick Bolles said it well in "What Color is Your Parachute?" when he said to the effect that when you lose your job, you want nothing more than to crawl under the covers and turn the electric blanket up to 9. Ah, I couldn't have said it better myself. I borrowed this book from the library and found it so helpful, and with a lot of "homework" to do that I knew I couldn't get full benefit of it just from a three week loan from the library. So I went to Ebay and purchased a used one for a very reasonable price. It hasn't come yet, so I am currently "bookless."
Having said all that, I can't go to the book for reference, but I have two takeaways that smacked me in the face. 1) When you lose your job, get plenty of sleep. I've been working on that and doing better, feeling more rested. Message heard. 2) Don't crawl under that blanket. Walk! No this isn't a healthy living book, but could sound like one, huh? Sleep and walk.
Now I know that exercise is important to handling stress; you know I know this, I've told you myself! But, know it as I might, I've been mentally and emotionally crawling under that blanket. It's time to throw the covers back, turn the electric blanket off and get back to what will truly make me feel better.
Walk! Just do it!
Today, I did it. Only asked 1 mile of myself, but I did it - 1.5 miles. Baby steps! Just do it still works!
And today I hit 250 miles on my virtual walk across America.
Friday, March 18, 2011
I've unconsciously let myself slip into this mentality that "hey, you've been going through some tough times and it's okay to treat yourself."
Every day? to candy? an Arby's turnover? pie at the restaurant? potato chips for an afternoon snack? then an apple on top of it because I feel guilty about the junk food? cookies (notice I said plural)? McDonald's french fries?
Okay, girl - little talk to self here. It's not all about you! Everybody has tough times in life! You don't have to drown yourself in old habits and food to get through this. Other people make it through without the crutch of food. You'll be better equipped to face life if you take care of yourself and eat healthy. And speaking of taking care of yourself - when did you last take a walk? Come on, now, be honest! It's been 2 1/2 weeks, hasn't it? And 1 or 2 weeks before that? Girl! You said a few weeks ago that you were going to be gentle with yourself, but you've been gentle too long. This is only going to take you down! It's not taking you anywhere good, that's for sure! You have come a long way on this journey! But you have a long way to go, and this is not the time for slacking, this is the time for persevering, when the going is tough! And you can do it. You've had some bumps in the road, but don't let them bring you down.
Today, I started with a baby step and I counted my cups of water. Seven down and one to go. I will not wallow in self-pity that ends up resulting in self-loathing. I will face my life like an adult and I will make healthy choices. I can do this! I will!
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