Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Sometimes when reading posts and blogs by others I find that they are not telling themselves or others the full truth...so here is the full, honest truth about me and why I struggle with my weight. I am an emotional eater with terrible self esteem, I utilize humor to make light of my inadequacies, while self medicating through long distance running and other forms of exercise. No matter the distance I go or the weight I lose I know it will not make me truly happy because whatever is wired incorrectly in my head I will never see someone who is pretty enough, fit enough, or anything enough. These are just the facts of the case and something that I have finally come to accept as truths about me and why I have eating/weight issues. For those that are struggling to start or stay here on spark I would ask this have you looked in the mirror and faced your demons. It may not be pretty and you may realize you hate yourself like I did, but it gives you something to keep working at. I am doing better with positive self talk but negative Nancy still likes to show up. I am doing better with liking what I see even if it is only fake Franny giving those words of encouragement, but I know in the end if I keep working at this, the real issue, I will eventually find my happy weight and my happy self. So today no matter how ugly it is seek the truth.