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P90X Day 71 Its a new week. Week 11

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Feeling good so far about all that I am doing and had discussed with my doctor. I'm excited to start a fresh week, last week seemed to be such a downer for me. Although right at the end of the week when I really took charge of myself I felt good again. I think sometimes we have to be down, it helps us look for different solutions. I am doing well with my no dairy which I thought might take me down, but I found a vegan cheese that isn't too bad that I can add to things that need a little something. I've been pushing the water and really focusing on my diet. Haven't really noticed if i have a suppressed appetite from the pills yet or not. Made a bunch of filling healthy dairy free meals last night so that I can take those during the week as well as the Chicken breasts that I cooked up.

Yesterday at my Army drill it was great I had gotten up early worked out and packed a lunch. Well come lunch time everyone else went for the Army chow cheeseburger probably some potatoes of some sort, a veggie lets just say this not healthily prepared anything on the menu. Meanwhile I ate upstairs and enjoyed a salad with a good mix of veggies and a little dab of guacomole for a dressing, and my Rosemary Chicken Breast and some grapes. Guess who's food everyone wanted. Everyone was like that smells so good. I had gone to wipe off my lunch box knife, and the others in the platoon office were like if she doesn't get back here soon I'm eating it. So I stuck to my diet and made everyone jealous in the process.

My friend is coming over and we are doing up the leg of lamb today. We were both too wiped to do it last night. So we decided to do an early dinner late lunch thing and get a walk in while it is cooking. I've been slacking all morning on the computer on facebook and spark, but sometimes I enjoy doing that although I really need to get back to cleaning Yuck! I've got laundry in lol... Saving my P90X for the evening it will keep me from any boredom eating or any other bad habits I may want to engage in. Have a feeling since its been about 2 weeks I'm due for the ex to show up on my doorstep so I have a feeling I will need a stress relief after that. Talked to one of my guy friends at length about him last night (he's friends with both of us) it made me feel better about what I'm doing and the fact that I don't really want him back even if he would want to come back. I did come to the realization that I'm still not ready to date, so I'm not actively seeking anything but if someone would come along I am open to it. I still need time to get my head right about the ex 2 years is a long relationship and that kind of love doesn't just disappear in a month or 2. It was good to finally talk to one of my guy friends about it sometimes they can let you in on the secret world of men. Although he has know idea what my ex was thinking, he was like what a dummy! lol

Anyway overall feeling good today and looking forward to a good week.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THEQUEENBEE333 12/7/2009 1:51PM

    Great job on packing your lunch! Go you! Made me hungry reading it :-) I need to plan and cook ahead more. Keep telling my husband that, but he doesnt listen and he cooks the most. Need to work on that! Have a great Monday!

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P90X Day 70 Always seem to be a day off in my blogs lately

Saturday, December 05, 2009

I am excited to try the things my doctor and I discussed. I went to the health market and got some vegan cheese can't live with out it in some form, but also going to do guacamole for a spread on anything. Taken the first pill its been about 45 minutes I can feel a little bit of the energy boost ie I have a little bit of a fuzzy head, they said that would happen when I started them. I don't necessarily know if it is suppressing my appetite at the moment but I think that will build. Just made up some super awesome chicken breasts for the week. Tonight for dinner or possibly Sunday I am having leg of lamb. I asked my friend Yvonne if I bought one would she make it. She was super awesome and came with me to go get the implant in my arm yesterday it turned out not to be a big deal but it was nice to have someone there for support and in case the numbing agent made me goofy. The whole thing was a good deal 3 years of birth control for free. The place I go has a grant for it if you have high deductible insurance or none. It may also help with my stubborn weight. I've got plenty of working out to do today. I have Army drill today which is why I am up so early, wanted to get stuff done before I came home tired and cranky. Plus I'm nervous about this weight loss drug and I'm stressed about losing weight in general and I wasn't sure where my hat and stuff was, I didn't go to last drill so I wasn't sure where I put all that stuff. There was a reason I went to bed at 8 I know I always get way stressed out before drill and don't sleep worth a crap. I do feel a nice little change in my energy right now although when I pulled the prescription out I was pretty sure I paid 32 dollars for a bottle of breath mints. Its amazing with all the weight related issues in this country that my insurance would not cover these, considering my BMI is 43 I would think they would be happy I am trying to take charge of my weight loss and help me from becoming my mother, whom the insurance company that they have has to have spent a couple million on her by now. I love my Mom I was talking to her about this stuff and we were discussing weight loss and something she saw on the Today show. I told her she needed to try it and we would lose the weight together I told her I loved her and I wanted her healthy and that I didn't want to go down her road. I hope she understands my tough love but the last 10 years with her and the heart problems etc have been hell. I only want her to take care of her new heart and her new lease on life. She understands I told her how much that medicine costs and she told me yes but it costs more to be overweight, ie all the heart problems diabetes etc. I'm nervous about getting my bloodwork back its been awhile since I have had cholesterol tested it was good last time but that was 3 years ago I think. My glucose gets checked once a year at my physical but I know I am fighting genetics hard core on the diabetes I really don't want to get it but I am prepared to control it if I do. I worry about my health a lot I really do want to lose the weight I really have been working on it this year I hope I can do it. I know I can do it it is just getting there that is killing me. The doctor was good and really listened yesterday which is one of my pet peeves with doctors I hate to go to them because I don't think they listen, but I had made a list of everything I have been doing and I stuck to my list and asked my questions and was my own health advocate. Hopefully in a month the tale of the tape will be a lot better.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEZLIZZIE 12/6/2009 11:57AM

    It really is true that it's more expensive to be overweight when you consider health care costs. This is what I tell myself when I get my grocery bill, LOL! The saying "we dig our grave with our forks" is, sadly, often true. I'd rather pay now for nutritious and healthy food that won't raise my cholesterol, blood pressure or body fat %, than to pay later with diabetes, heart disease, etc.

I have family history of weight-related illness, and it's important for me to be aware of that and to motivate me to turn that trend around!

Keep up the great work! :D


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DEUSMACHINA 12/5/2009 3:53AM

    Great to hear you feeling positive and in charge again! Excellent work!

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P90X Day 68 I'm on fat kid pills

Friday, December 04, 2009

So went to the doctor going to be taking an appetite suppressant and avoiding dairy this month to see how things go. Also had my cholesterol tested and glucose won't get those back til monday. I am also going to meet with a dietician and see what else we can do there. The doc said I'm doing good by exercising even if the weight isn't going not like I was gonna quit doing that. Changed up the birth control so in a month or so we'll see if I am having any better success. For now keep at it and just keep pushing play.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEZLIZZIE 12/6/2009 11:50AM

    That's all you can do, take it day by day and to do your best. You can't ask of anything else of yourself.

Hooray for you!

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LYNNLOSING150 12/6/2009 10:48AM

    Just hang in there, sometimes it takes time for the body to adjust to change.

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P90X Day 67 From the depths of despair...

Friday, December 04, 2009

So even though I am still bummed out I still had a decent workout today. I am doing a couple things to help myself tomorrow tho. The first is i am going to the doctor to see if I can get some help on my weight loss struggles hopefully he will be understanding and not just assume that all I do is pound cheeseburgers all day long.The other thing is I am switching my birth control from Depo to the Implanon and through all of this I hope to start seeing better results and stop plateauing at 275-280 lbs. Through all of this understand that I know I am always going to be thicker and that I know I am losing inches but unfortunately that number on the scale means a lot too. I don't want everyone to think that I am just a negative nelly its just that I have been battling and losing the battle for 5 years. First I thought it was because I had PTSD and depression from being in Iraq, then I thought well I just don't exercise enough, then the thyroid issue came along, and all through this year I have been battling down to 278 and then the weight came right back. I finally got down to 275 doing the p90x and thought maybe this is finally what I needed and then the weight has been creeping back and when I saw 281 on the scale yesterday I seriously had a meltdown. I told my real life spark friend about it and she is just as frustrated for me. I know losing weight isn't easy but I am tired of it being so hard for me. I think there has to be something else wrong. I'm not trying to shift any blame from myself but I know people who eat horrible and don't exercise that can't do the damage in a year that I can do in just taking one day off or having a night where I enjoy chicken wings and a beer. I don't mind fighting but being perfect constantly would drive anyone crazy and that is what it seems like I have to be in order to just maintain.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEZLIZZIE 12/6/2009 11:35AM

    I'm glad you have an open mind and are reaching out for help from your doctor. That takes guts, and I'm proud of you! I hope you get some useful feedback.

I hate how much power the number on the scale has over me, too. It's so, so frustrating sometimes. I know how much of a commitment P90X takes, and when the scale registers a gain after a really tough week of bringing it, I want to throw the thing out a window.... :/

I did a little googling about results for women doing P90X, and it helped my mindset a lot. Everywhere I looked, people wrote about how much more difficult it is for women to lose weight while doing P90X. The truth is, we're focusing so much on resistance training now and although it's important work to do and it absolutely builds lean muscle tissue, it doesn't necessarily register a net weight loss on the scale.

Have you been taking your measurements consistently? I have a feeling that there's a lot of progress going on there that isn't apparent when you weigh yourself. Does your doctor provide body fat % analysis? Knowing that you're changing the ratio of your lean tissue to fat is super motivating!

I hope this finds you well, and feeling positive and proud of all of your hard-earned successes. Here's to many more triumphs to come! :D


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THEQUEENBEE333 12/4/2009 10:22AM

    Take a day off for yourself girl. Occassionally we need this. Go steady and slow like you have been. I know its hard, BELIEVE me I know. I am going to a gym now and at the main location last night all these skinny little things were in the classes working out and I felt like a toad... so we all have those days. Believe in you, we do! PS: I have a box of ornaments and lights to get to you. Was going to ship or something, but might be better to just drop them off sometime or something... I gotta get my butt in gear and get them to you before the holiday is already here and gone. I have the best of intentions, but slow follow through sometimes when life is busy (as it is now) :-)

Have a great Friday... just think, dont focus on the weight, focus on how good you FEEL no matter your weight and all the health benefits you are getting!

Just me, B

PS - you are on the NW side, have you ever belonged to a gym? Just to join the MAC EXPRESS downtown is like under $35 per month, I know its a lot, but its not too far AND its not as busy as some... I sure wish I knew others that went to teh Mac - any of them so I could have someone to stay on me and make me go!

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MIKEDUP 12/4/2009 8:06AM

    I realize it's probably hard to stay positive, but it's an important key to success... with anything really.

You say you're dropping inches? That's a good thing. If you want faster results maybe if you increased your cardio. It takes some time but once you get your heart to a decent level you can really incinerate the calories.

Try not to be the "negative Nelly," you're stronger than that. See how things go with your doctor, maybe he will a contributing factor, but maybe he won't. The important thing is to keep eating right, exercising, and persevering... you will see that scale go down eventually, I'm sure of it!

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WANNABFIT34 12/4/2009 6:21AM

    I eat lean protein ground turkey 97%lean Chicken breasts, salads with fat free cottage cheese for dressing, I'm not a bread eater in general, occasional pasta, I don't do a lot of fruit it gives me indigestion, legumes, I keep track in a food log rather than on spark just because I get frustrated hunting down things. I do keep track of calories etc but for me it is easiest to keep in a notebook than on here. I use the calorie king book for the calculations. I do the 6 small meal/snacks, keep the calories between 1500-2000 and I keep the sodium as low as is possible, most ppl think I'm over obsessed with sodium. This is why I think there is something else going on besides the basic calories in calories out.

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MARKAMURKA 12/4/2009 6:00AM

    Do you track everything that you eat? I see you track your exercise. Then you can check under Reports your Daily Calorie Deficit page. I start to believe it works. 3500kcal deficit means one pound less. (I overestimate my intake and underestimate my exercise- I think SP overestimate burned calories by a lot!) But it still works.
Have you tried that already? (On Just Do It SPTeam there's an ongoing deficit challenge for 6 weeks now.)
Also I think calories are not everything. You need to eat low GI - loads of vegetables. Fruit is not the same. And protein. Veggies and protein take your hunger away. Really.
Any high GI food makes an insulin surge which makes your body storing fat instead of fueling your activities.
So: eat veggies. I hated them, I ate them as medicines, which they were to me, because they put me on track and I'm on a losing string now. I've learned to appreciate their power.
Try not to eat for your soul, but just feed , fuel your body as if you'd feed a small child. Healthy, whole foods - no junk at all.
I also eat in my lower carb range (and in my higher range for fat and protein and calories)- any white carb makes me binge (and then I get in the 5000-6000kcal range!!!) so I just don't eat them. It's easy not to eat something. The hard thing is to eat in moderation, which I can not do. So I do not even try.
Just try other ways, you'll finally find a way what's working for you if you keep on trying.
Consider sharing your food tracker. It helped me a lot, I usually make better choices because of the shared tracker.

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DEUSMACHINA 12/4/2009 3:12AM

    I hear you, sister! I was just moaning on someone else's blog about my rapid weight gain. I had four bad eating days (around 300-500 kcal per day over) and gained 2.2kg (nearly 5 pounds). Honestly, I just can't take a single day or even bloody meal off, or else it goes straight to my arse along with everything else I've eaten that week. It took me weeks to undo the damage from that four days.

But maintaining is easier than losing. As long as I stay within my range, it's fine. And with all the exercise I do, that range is pretty generous! So don't despair! There will be a time where you can fit in a chicken wing and a beer and it won't be the end of the world.

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Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Why is it in 5 years no matter how hard I have worked how little or how much I've eaten how little or how much I've worked out. Supplements no supplements, carbs no carbs, whatever the case may be why the FU@K CAN'T I GET MY WEIGHT UNDER 270 ANYTHING. Everytime I get to 270 anything my disgusting body decides it has to go back up to 280. Is it any wonder I hate myself how am I just a disgusting fat slob no matter what I do. I'm seriously sick of this crap what is wrong with my body that it can't weigh anything less than 270 it frustrates me to the point of just giving up maybe I am supposed to be a fat disgusting person who dies of heart disease at 30.

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WANNABFIT34 12/2/2009 9:37PM

    I'll give you all a little update I am going to the doctor on friday for one to make sure there isn't something besides my worthless thyroid slowing me down and 2 thinking maybe he can give me additional resources to use. I am going to have all my blood levels taken, test for food allergies, and have body fat analysis. At least this will give me a start and because I log all my food and fitness it will give him something to go on. But for now my frustration is through the roof

Comment edited on: 12/2/2009 9:37:32 PM

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THEQUEENBEE333 12/2/2009 5:12PM

    Diddo to what the last person said - nothing is wrong w/you. You just persevere, destress and relax a little, it'll happen. Really. Have faith. Faith makes it possible, not easy. You can do it. Hang tough... 270 is gonna go bye bye! I know it will. Keep working like you have and it will.... really really!
Have a good rest of Wed.

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CUBANJELLY 12/2/2009 5:12PM

    Whoa, hold on there a minute missy! Just like BeeJay said you may be trying too hard, limiting your calories is just as bad as eating too many. Too much or too little is an extreme, you've got to find a happy middle ground. I felt very close to giving up myself, so I hired a nutritionist - only $65 and it's made a huge difference. I've learned so much. Take some time and focus, but please don't blame yourself or your body. God made it, he gave it to you not to hate it, but to love it. Love yourself because if you don't it makes it aweful hard for others to.

MUCH love...

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DEUSMACHINA 12/2/2009 3:37PM

    There's nothing wrong with you! Please don't hate yourself! Would you hate me if I were in your shoes? Of course you wouldn't. You would treat me kindly and compassionately. It sounds *really* frustrating, but PLEASE try and be kind to yourself!

If you have been doing a lot of different diets, including quite restrictive ones, your body may be a little stuffed up right now. You need to try and be patient with it! I read this really interesting research from Australia's Garvan Institute (a very respected research organisation). It was the work of Amanda Sainsbury-Salis and how the body has a famine response, and how to overcome it. There's an info sheet about it here: http://www.garvan.org.au/pdfs/misce

I found it very useful when I've plateaued. I adjusted my intake according to her research and voila! All back on track. This is also what SparkPeople spruik for plateaus. It well worth a read. If you have already been doing these things, I guess all you can do is stick at it.

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RITEEBEE 12/2/2009 3:00PM

    hey, that is not a good attitude!! You can get under 270, but it is going to take a lot of hard work! Come on, get up, dust yourself off, and get back on the horse, you can do this, don't you quit!!! Then you really never will do it!!

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