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Three Little Ducks.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Today is my one year Sparkversary. Yes it is one year to the day that I decided to take myself to task and make some lifelong, lifestyle changes. I had just had yet another warning that I was killing myself with food. I had got very breathless and lost consciousness through lack of oxygen to the brain.....it couldn't go on!!

I weighed in at 292(20st 12lbs) pounds and I was disgusted and ashamed of myself. I was relying on crutches to bear some of my weight so that I could go out. Only 2 years before that I had weighed 298 pounds but lost 48 of them quickly only to regain most of them following a broken leg.

On Nov 22 last year I knew that my attitude had to change before anything else. I decided that yes, ok I'm fat, probably super morbidly obese, unhealthy and lacked energy. Then I said to myself " Well suck it up and do something positive about it instead of moaning!"

I wanted to do it without pills or any other diet aids and I didn't want to compromise or embark on faddy programmes.....been there, done that......

I knew about Spark so I set up a page strtaight away and wrote down my plan.

At 5'3" I was carrying more than twice my ideal weight around with me which was quite daunting to say the least. Spark says that goals should be achievable and realistic so I set my overall target at 100 pounds (7st 2lds) to lose in 24 months. This meant an average loss of about 1lb per week. I could live with that!

I started my journey that day and met some lovely supportive people. I have 2 great sparkfriends that I meet up with occasionally and their encouragement and support is wonderful.

Today I weigh 222lbs, hence the three little ducks in the title. This number means that I have lost in total 70lbs SEVENTY POUNDS!! (5 stones). It also means that I have dropped into the next stone, I now weigh 15st 12 lbs. 222lbs. Still big for my height but what the heck! 8 dress sizes smaller, smaller undies, more shops to choose from and I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!

I have lost 13 inches from my waist, 11 inches from my hips and 8 inches from my bust. I can buy bras from Marks and Spencer for the first time in my adult life. Instead of using mail order companies

I am still aiming for the magic 100lbs loss but I'm breaking it down into smaller portions . ie my next target is 3lbs. This will take me to the two ones (219) and another three 3lbs losses will have me teetering on the brink of 14 stones something. I have another year in theory but as my eating habits are a way of life now the time line is less important.

You see, I will do this, it will happen and when I feel right, after the 100lbs are gone plus a bonus of a further 12 just for the hell of it, I will learn how to maintain the healthy me and get as much as I possibly can out of this life that I am so grateful for.

I have learned to carry on through weeks of plateaus and disappointing weight losses. I know that there are no 'bad' foods only bad habits. I have learned to like myself and forgive myself for the damage I so wilfully did to my body. All that is in the past and can't be undone. However, looking to the future fills me with such excitement as I get closer to achieving my dreams, by doing the activities that I haven't been able to do for over 40 yes FORTY years!

I also look to my successes and congratulate myself. Well to be honest, I do amaze myself sometimes.....Lol

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROBSON85 11/23/2010 6:05AM

    Happy Sparkversary! And Congratulations, you've done an amazing job and it's great to see you're still enthusiastic and have embraced this as a new way of life!
I hope the next 12 months is just as successful for you!

Laura xx


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60SIXTY 11/22/2010 7:45PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LOULOUBELLE2 11/22/2010 7:19PM

    You will succeed, I know you will, with that wonderful positive attitude.
Congratulations with being on Sparks for a year. I just wonder what the next year will hold in store for you. I bet it to will be amazing. emoticon emoticon

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STLOUISWOMAN 11/22/2010 4:11PM

    HAPPY SPARKVERSARY!! You have a great plan & it's working. Keep up the good work & you'll reach your goals. I know you can do it.

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JRSWHIMSY 11/22/2010 1:34PM

    You are an inspiration! GREAT job!

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MUEHLBBO 11/22/2010 10:12AM

    Fantastic! I loved that line "no bad foods, only bad habits." Congrats on the super weight loss and the positive attitude. Keep it up.

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WANAKA 11/22/2010 9:41AM

    Happy Sparkversary! And Congratulations on your weight loss in one year. You're doing great and you look awesome. Keep it up!


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SENATOR9 11/22/2010 9:29AM

    happy one year anniversary emoticon you are doing emoticon

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C-MERRIE11 11/22/2010 9:15AM

    You're amazing. Period.

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The past is past.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

This blog is way overdue, but it's here now. I have come to the decision that I must make make one radical change in order to reach my ultimate goal. I have been eating well and healthily to get to the point I am at but I have have one weakness that is sabotaging my my dream...it is, to my shame, SWEETS. Not after dinner deserts, not biscuits or cakes, not chocolate bars or doughnuts, no, its proper SWEETS! At first it was a mini bag of Dolly Mixtures that were three for 1.00. I would buy the 3 give 1 each to my nephew and niece and eat the 3rd one myself. I still lost weight as this was well in control and occurred. about every 2 or 3 weeks. Well, you know what it's like, we tell ourselves " I can control this" and "I know what I'm doing." and before you know it you are back to your old ways. Well, that's what happened with me this weekend, I am ashamed to admit that over the past 5 days I have replaced 4 meals with bags of sweets! Huge bags! Bargain bags!

Now that is in the past, gone, unchangeable. I'm over it so I'll leave it there/ or here- whatever, it's done.

Today is a new day! it is very cold but the sun is shining, I am going to visit my sister who is celebrating her birthday today then I am going to take my friend's wife to visit him in hospital which is 40 miles away....they are just coming to terms with his recent diagnosis of inoperable cancer. It sort of puts things into perspective doesn't it? And here I am moaning about binging on sugar!

Anyway, that's the plan. I have no strategies in place for beating the sweetie cravings but I'll get by with a little help from my friends, oooo gonna try with a little help from my friends....yes reader you are probably correct in thinking "...she's lost the plot" , but in the whole scheme of things does it really matter? No, I think not! Blimey I'm going off on one.

I have to make contact with Sparkfriends whom I have neglected due to apathy. I will do this during the week, but I have to stop here or I will just carry on writing drivel.......

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JRSWHIMSY 10/20/2010 7:58AM

    For me it's Doritos and Diet Pepsi, which give me such a lovely full feeling... But the price isn't really worth it, of course.

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FISEFTON 10/20/2010 5:37AM

    I know exactly how you feel. I too binge on stuff that isn't good but with me it is the big bags of chocolates (the ones you share) which are on offer in one of our supermarkets at the moment. Cadbury's Caramel Nibbles... mmmmm! No, I will not go there.

Be careful about cutting out sweets completely without having a back up plan. I found that I couldn't give up chocolate as when I did cave, I caved in style - 2 HUGE chocolate bars. Now I satisfy my craving by allowing myself a chocolate fix on Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings and build it into the food plan.

Best of luck and congratulations on your achivements so far.

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BRIDGIRL 10/20/2010 3:04AM

    Hi She

Sounds like positive action is afoot. I know I don't need to tell you that sweets don't solve a thing how ever many bags we eat-a great quick fix though, but only a short one.

You have done brilliant so far and are a great example to many and I know you are one very determined lady so you will kick the sweetie habit for sure. emoticon

Lotsa Luv Chris xxx

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MTNGRL 10/19/2010 7:05PM

    I can relate. I was buying and eating a bag of chocolates and then buying a bag to replace it and, well on and on. Once I was diagnosed with diabetes I stopped that but was still craving something sweet. Now I try to have some protein and that has helped those cravings a bit but every once in a while I dream of baking something decadent. Baking was my hobby!

You can do it too!

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STLOUISWOMAN 10/19/2010 1:18PM

    You've taken the first step & it's a huge one - admitting that the problem is there. Just take the rest one day at a time - one step at a time. I think you cna do it!!

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BAYBELIEVER 10/19/2010 8:14AM

    Sounds like a good plan! One step at a time. Turn down one bag of sweets at a time and soon it will become a habit, right? We just have to learn to say No. See, I said We. We are in this together. Just keep on fighting! (The urges)

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60SIXTY 10/19/2010 8:12AM

    There first strategy for sweet cravings is to be able to say that the exist and it is a difficult challenge.

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Half way there, fresh start.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

I have lost the next pound to begin the second half of my journey. So much of my healthy lifestyle has become a habit that I didn't want to become complacent so I thought a while and came up with some new goals. In order to keep myself on track I made a motivation board to remind me of the things I want to do and the things that have put me in the place that I am today. Which is a good place, so it isn't all bad.

I have put a photo of my board here so that everyone can see what I'm about and it might also inspire someone to make their own if they haven't already.

The hot air balloon, the motor bike and the horse are there to remind me that I will be able to ride them when all of my weight is off. I wouldn't attempt to mount any of them at this weight as I am certain that someone will pass comment about how heavy I am . At the weight I want to be I am certain that I will achieve these goals.

The fat is to remind that it is as unattractive on the outside as it is when dolloped all over my body on the inside. It also reminds that healthy fats are acceptable from time to time.

The plate of prawn and avacado salad reminds me that I can indulge in avacados (my favourite fruit) as long as eat them sensibly and not too often!

The fairground ride is something I want to enjoy again with the youngsters in my family. I haven't been on a ride since I was in my teens and I can't wait for the day I can step onto the waltzer again.

Tucking- in. At the waist and into my boots. That is something I have never done before, even as a child and a teenager I was too fat to tuck in.

The words 'Beauty from within.' simply reinforce the message to myself that I am more than just a fat woman.

The deck chairs are something that I am looking forward to using again. I was about sixteen years old the last time I sat in one and even then some joker made a comment about breaking it. As I live at the seaside I look forward to hiring a deckchair and sitting in it comfortably on the beach, reading a book and maybe having a picnic lunch. The red deckchair has some writing on it which says ' Calm down, carry on.' Good advise!

The words 'Kick that inner critic', will be a constant reminder NOT to beat myself up if/when I plateau or God forbid, have a gain!

A massage is something I will have as a reward at 80lbs lost.

The small words at the side of the massage picture say ' my world, my style' and that just about sums me up. I like to be different and not fall in with the status- quo.

And finally, the words in the centre are copied from another sparkers board. When I read it I think of it as a mantra.

I WILL vizualise!

I WON'T stop!

I WILL go 2 the top!

I WILL celebrate my life every day!

I KNOW my dreams are on the way!

Thank you to that sparker for sharing those words.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENUFF81020 8/20/2010 8:27AM

    Hi there,

You are doing so well. I love your board--it is so thoughtful and planned out.

I love the fact that living in a healthy way becomes automatic and it is just a part of who you and I are. that is so cool and quite honestly, something I never expected or even guessed that I was capable of.

You are doing so well--so carry on!!
Gentle hugs,

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MYLIFEROCKS 8/3/2010 7:48PM

    Hi She,

Well done, well said!! I love all of your goals and know that you will get there. You have come so far and despite any obstacles you either go over them or around them. You won't be stopped and I look forward to watching you continue onwards and downwards.


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DANLENO1949 8/3/2010 9:28AM

    Well Done keep it up. Love the board. emoticon

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OKANE13 8/2/2010 10:09PM

    Hi Sheila:
WOW, I love your motivation board. What an inspiration. Congratulations on all of your accomplishments. I really like your goals: horseback riding, hot air balloon, motor bike, rides with the youngsters, etc. I know with your determination and discipline, you will do all of these things and more.

I am excited to be able to watch your journey as your friend. Friday the 13th RULES !!

"Just Jane"
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DAISYBELL6 8/2/2010 6:24PM

    What a great job you did! emoticon

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JRSWHIMSY 8/2/2010 5:53PM

    I absolutely love your motivational board! I hope it helps keep you going through the rest of your journey!

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BRIDGIRL 8/2/2010 2:40AM

    Hi She

What a great board you made and I hope the words 'Kick the inner Critic' stand out for you as well. You need loadsa praise for all you have acheived in your weight loss journey and I know you will get there in the end.

I have never been on a horse and I wouldn't want to lol--I can't stand deck chairs so won't be joining you on that venture but I was always a biker in the past-not sure a motor bike would be a good idea for me now though. I am with you in hoping all of these come true for you though.

Keep going you are doing great.

Love Chris xx

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Worst Weekend

Sunday, July 25, 2010

This has to be the worst weekend I have had in a very long time. It was a weekend of immobility due to extreme back pain, and a weekend of unsatisfactory eating. Oh I ate all the right things but I wanted something else. Having said that I didn't really WANT to eat anything that I would consider to be 'unhealthy'. I have 2 large packets of bourbon biscuits that don't belong to me and the number of times they tried to entice me to eat them was incredible. It didn't matter where I put them they were calling to me....."go on, you know you want to" and "just one won't hurt" and "just smell that rich chocolate filling and those crispy chocolate biscuits". They just wouldn't stop! "Eat me, eat me" they called but I resisted every time. emoticon

I have had my water as usual but I feel quite bloated. I wonder if it's because I haven't exercised and my body is retaining the fluid. I have had a lot of Tramadol for pain relief which also makes me constipated so my body feels sluggish.

I haven't had any pain relief since the early hours of this morning and I don't intend to take anymore. Keeping fingers crossed the rest I have had today and ice packs to my back has helped with the pain and I am going to bed relieved that the weekend is over. ( Weekends make me acutely aware of my aloneness) I am looking forward to a new, more normal week where I hope to be rid of this silly "WANT" of sweet stuff. I will be able to occupy my time with careful housework and a gentle stroll around the block. I will get on the bike for just 2 x 10 mins and build up to 2 x 20 mins over the week.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JRSWHIMSY 7/26/2010 1:07PM

    I certainly hope your back gets to feeling better soon!
Does other sweet stuff like fruit help your cravings at all? Or maybe some healthy muffins?
Here's to a great week!

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BRIDGIRL 7/26/2010 2:36AM

    What a sad blog entry She but understandable with the pain you have to suffer. Hope this week is one of the best yet to make up for the worst weekend.

Take care

Love as always

Chris xx

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LOVEMYLAPTOP 7/25/2010 8:15PM

    I can't believe you resisted those tasty treats when dealing with pain so bad you cannot sleep! Good for you. I, too, am sorry that you are having such pain when you are halfway to your goal. I will pray for your relief as you keep trusting God for the results of healthy eating and exercising. emoticon

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BLONDWUNN 7/25/2010 7:14PM

    So sorry to hear about your pain! It's so hard to think of ANYTHING when you have pain. Hope you feel better soon!

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BOGWORKS 7/25/2010 6:46PM

  Hang in there!! I too suffer from back pain. I have had 3 back surgeries, the last one about 6 years ago. It flares up occasionally, and just makes me want to scream.

Keep the faith, and as the attage says, one day at a time. (Don't we just love it when folks tell us that?

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OKANE13 7/25/2010 6:27PM

    Hello: Sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. I do hope that you will be able to get some relief from the pain so that you can sleep tonight. I am very impressed by the amount of self control and discipline that you have. GREAT job of resisting the cookie temptation. Maybe you could start finding some things that you could plan ahead for your weekends so that they would not be so lonely. Would it help to call a friend to talk things over with? Would it help if you hit the "panic button" on the message boards and got some support from fellow members? I would be happy to try to help if you want to contact me. I'm sorry if these ideas are lame, but I don't like to have you there feeling lonely and in pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you...Jane emoticon emoticon

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BEESPARKLE 7/25/2010 6:26PM

    Sorry to hear of you being ill. I started to exercise 6 times a week. I keep Sunday for a rest day. I have lowered my calories because it was too high for all the exercise I now do.

I wear my pedometer in week all day till about 4 in the afternoon. Something Iam going to continue and get 10 thousand steps in . I am up to 3000 now. So if I can get going to 4000'this week. I will have complished. See to get the the cholesterol down to be healthy. I need to jack down the sweets for sure.Does not help high bloodpressure.

It is hard with sweets.
My weakness also.

If you keep exercising the 6 days. Then if you do have a slip on weekend it is better then no exercise. So you may be okay.

I know weight watchers allows sweets. Once a week.

I have choc declares small frozen from the freezer in grocery store. It only has 40 cal. The bigger have 80. Which I did have.

So I try to be very careful with the sweets high in calories.

Hope by Monday your feeling better.

emoticon for now.

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Half Way There.....

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I haven't blogged for a while so I thought I would record my progress as I am just a half pound from my half way target.

Yes, I have lost 55 and a half pounds.

I have been using the tape measure to track my progress as well as the scales and these are the inches lost in 8 months.

Upper arm-2"

That's a total of 54 and a half inches less of me.
My dress size has gone down from 30/32 to 22/24 ( UK )

My goal is to lose another 56lbs by November 23rd 2011.

I can't believe the difference in me when I compare myself to the state I was in at this time last year. I couldn't walk more than a few yards without the aid of crutches. A to B always seemed such a long way, and hills? well you could forget that! Today I walked into and around town for three and a half hours with the aid of just one walking stick. I was amazed that I had not only walked back up the hill to the car but I wasn't even out of breath. My back was sore but that will never get better and I can deal with it.

We went for lunch and I noticed two things as I sat at the table: 1. I had no problem reaching the underside of my seat as I drew myself closer to the table, and 2. As I looked down I could see clear past my bust down to my lap. I smiled to myself at these changes that have come upon me all of a sudden. I started thinking about other things that have become much easier to do.

Having a shower is no longer a task that has to be endured it is now a pleasure.
Another bathroom task is very easy and I don't wish I had longer arms anymore lol. emoticon

I can sit with my legs crossed, (not on the toilet!) I can't remember the last time I could do that, and best of all, I can squeeze through the gap between the shower and the wash basin and actually open and close my bathroom window.

Cutting, filing and painting my toenails is no longer a work of art, in fact I can do it now without breaking out into a breathless sweat. It was such a chore before, as was shaving my legs.

I noticed last night that my knees have definition and my ankles are also slim enough for an anklet.....if only I could find it!

I now have the energy to be bothered with exercise, I still don't push myself but I do 2x20mins
on the stationery bike every other day. I always use the stairs but I put my heavy bags in the lift (elevator) and 'race' it up the stairs. This gives me a bit of extra cardio whilst not punishing my back.

I don't worry about, fear or dislike food anymore. I eat what I want and I habitually make sure that I eat to nourish my body so that I might live a longer healthy life. Watching portions and calories is no longer an issue, I know what is right and good and I know how to indulge my sweet tooth without causing damage ie weight gain. I have learned to love crispy salad vegetables and I cook most of my food from fresh ingredients.

I feel so much healthier now, I feel younger, my skin is good, my posture has improved, in fact all of the changes I have made have benefited so much that I can't imagine myself living my life any other way now. As my weight loss slows down and the inevitable plateaus approach, I feel that with patience I will reach my goal in the time I have given myself. I am not going to get upset with any stumbling blocks, I will use my Spark strategies to overcome them. I have not ,as yet, had a weight gain since I started out on this journey and I don't know how I will cope if/when it happens. One thing I do know is this:
My spark friends will not judge me, they will help and support, empathise and sympathise with me, they will understand and they will help me through. As I continue on this journey I will carry on tracking my water and 5-a-day when I log in to spark every day.

Thank you spark, sparkfriends, motivators, inspirers, team leaders etc.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JRSWHIMSY 7/20/2010 4:01PM

    I'm so incredibly proud of you! You've clearly made long term changes for the better and it shows! I have no doubt that you will reach your ultimate goal, one step at a time :)

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JELLYBABYBEX 7/19/2010 7:02AM

    This was so nice to read, congratulations! You are truly motivating and inspiring to me, I'm having a bad period with my diet, so it's lovely to hear great stories from people who are making a difference to their lives. emoticon

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MYLIFEROCKS 7/19/2010 12:21AM

    Wonderful Blog She!!!!!

Thanks so much for sharing everything and I am so happy and proud of you.....WAY TO GO!!!!

I look forward to experiencing all those things and to travel with you on the next half of your journey!!

Hugs you awesome woman!!!


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BRIDGIRL 7/18/2010 2:31AM

    Brilliant blog She--shed a tear when I read it and I was so pleased I was there when you first noticed you could sit with your legs crossed. All the things you say in the blog about yourself are totally true and I know by November 2011 you will have lost the other half. I hope to be there to celebrate with you emoticon

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LOVEMYLAPTOP 7/17/2010 6:04PM

    I remember being able to see the numbers on the scale without having to hold in my stomach! We didn't realize how miserable we were until we're on the way down and you are dong great! What a friend and I have discovered is that when the pounds come on, during maintenance or plateaus, get good sleep and go for it the next day. They come back off! Sometimes the pounds don't come off in the same way, ie a pound at a time, but more like 2 or 3 at a time during a plateau. During maintenance the body goes back to your lowest weight or within a pound pretty readily. Don't be scared...you'll still learn alot during this second half, too. CELEBRATE! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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VGIMLET 7/17/2010 4:11PM

    Congratulations on your successes, and being half-way there !whoo hoo!

Thanks for sharing. We CAN do this!

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KSHAGGY 7/17/2010 4:08PM

    Congrats to you and thanks for sharing. Reading your blog gives me the motivation to keep going. I know what you mean on so many levels, I am not quite at 1/3 my goal....but even that is a big difference!

Again thanks for sharing and I look forward to hearing more on your continued success!

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