Monday, November 22, 2010
Today is my one year Sparkversary. Yes it is one year to the day that I decided to take myself to task and make some lifelong, lifestyle changes. I had just had yet another warning that I was killing myself with food. I had got very breathless and lost consciousness through lack of oxygen to the brain.....it couldn't go on!!
I weighed in at 292(20st 12lbs) pounds and I was disgusted and ashamed of myself. I was relying on crutches to bear some of my weight so that I could go out. Only 2 years before that I had weighed 298 pounds but lost 48 of them quickly only to regain most of them following a broken leg.
On Nov 22 last year I knew that my attitude had to change before anything else. I decided that yes, ok I'm fat, probably super morbidly obese, unhealthy and lacked energy. Then I said to myself " Well suck it up and do something positive about it instead of moaning!"
I wanted to do it without pills or any other diet aids and I didn't want to compromise or embark on faddy programmes.....been there, done that......
I knew about Spark so I set up a page strtaight away and wrote down my plan.
At 5'3" I was carrying more than twice my ideal weight around with me which was quite daunting to say the least. Spark says that goals should be achievable and realistic so I set my overall target at 100 pounds (7st 2lds) to lose in 24 months. This meant an average loss of about 1lb per week. I could live with that!
I started my journey that day and met some lovely supportive people. I have 2 great sparkfriends that I meet up with occasionally and their encouragement and support is wonderful.
Today I weigh 222lbs, hence the three little ducks in the title. This number means that I have lost in total 70lbs SEVENTY POUNDS!! (5 stones). It also means that I have dropped into the next stone, I now weigh 15st 12 lbs. 222lbs. Still big for my height but what the heck! 8 dress sizes smaller, smaller undies, more shops to choose from and I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!
I have lost 13 inches from my waist, 11 inches from my hips and 8 inches from my bust. I can buy bras from Marks and Spencer for the first time in my adult life. Instead of using mail order companies
I am still aiming for the magic 100lbs loss but I'm breaking it down into smaller portions . ie my next target is 3lbs. This will take me to the two ones (219) and another three 3lbs losses will have me teetering on the brink of 14 stones something. I have another year in theory but as my eating habits are a way of life now the time line is less important.
You see, I will do this, it will happen and when I feel right, after the 100lbs are gone plus a bonus of a further 12 just for the hell of it, I will learn how to maintain the healthy me and get as much as I possibly can out of this life that I am so grateful for.
I have learned to carry on through weeks of plateaus and disappointing weight losses. I know that there are no 'bad' foods only bad habits. I have learned to like myself and forgive myself for the damage I so wilfully did to my body. All that is in the past and can't be undone. However, looking to the future fills me with such excitement as I get closer to achieving my dreams, by doing the activities that I haven't been able to do for over 40 yes FORTY years!
I also look to my successes and congratulate myself. Well to be honest, I do amaze myself sometimes.....Lol
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
This blog is way overdue, but it's here now. I have come to the decision that I must make make one radical change in order to reach my ultimate goal. I have been eating well and healthily to get to the point I am at but I have have one weakness that is sabotaging my my dream...it is, to my shame, SWEETS. Not after dinner deserts, not biscuits or cakes, not chocolate bars or doughnuts, no, its proper SWEETS! At first it was a mini bag of Dolly Mixtures that were three for £1.00. I would buy the 3 give 1 each to my nephew and niece and eat the 3rd one myself. I still lost weight as this was well in control and occurred. about every 2 or 3 weeks. Well, you know what it's like, we tell ourselves " I can control this" and "I know what I'm doing." and before you know it you are back to your old ways. Well, that's what happened with me this weekend, I am ashamed to admit that over the past 5 days I have replaced 4 meals with bags of sweets! Huge bags! Bargain bags!
Now that is in the past, gone, unchangeable. I'm over it so I'll leave it there/ or here- whatever, it's done.
Today is a new day! it is very cold but the sun is shining, I am going to visit my sister who is celebrating her birthday today then I am going to take my friend's wife to visit him in hospital which is 40 miles away....they are just coming to terms with his recent diagnosis of inoperable cancer. It sort of puts things into perspective doesn't it? And here I am moaning about binging on sugar!
Anyway, that's the plan. I have no strategies in place for beating the sweetie cravings but I'll get by with a little help from my friends, oooo gonna try with a little help from my friends....yes reader you are probably correct in thinking "...she's lost the plot" , but in the whole scheme of things does it really matter? No, I think not! Blimey I'm going off on one.
I have to make contact with Sparkfriends whom I have neglected due to apathy. I will do this during the week, but I have to stop here or I will just carry on writing drivel.......
Sunday, August 01, 2010
I have lost the next pound to begin the second half of my journey. So much of my healthy lifestyle has become a habit that I didn't want to become complacent so I thought a while and came up with some new goals. In order to keep myself on track I made a motivation board to remind me of the things I want to do and the things that have put me in the place that I am today. Which is a good place, so it isn't all bad.
I have put a photo of my board here so that everyone can see what I'm about and it might also inspire someone to make their own if they haven't already.
The hot air balloon, the motor bike and the horse are there to remind me that I will be able to ride them when all of my weight is off. I wouldn't attempt to mount any of them at this weight as I am certain that someone will pass comment about how heavy I am . At the weight I want to be I am certain that I will achieve these goals.
The fat is to remind that it is as unattractive on the outside as it is when dolloped all over my body on the inside. It also reminds that healthy fats are acceptable from time to time.
The plate of prawn and avacado salad reminds me that I can indulge in avacados (my favourite fruit) as long as eat them sensibly and not too often!
The fairground ride is something I want to enjoy again with the youngsters in my family. I haven't been on a ride since I was in my teens and I can't wait for the day I can step onto the waltzer again.
Tucking- in. At the waist and into my boots. That is something I have never done before, even as a child and a teenager I was too fat to tuck in.
The words 'Beauty from within.' simply reinforce the message to myself that I am more than just a fat woman.
The deck chairs are something that I am looking forward to using again. I was about sixteen years old the last time I sat in one and even then some joker made a comment about breaking it. As I live at the seaside I look forward to hiring a deckchair and sitting in it comfortably on the beach, reading a book and maybe having a picnic lunch. The red deckchair has some writing on it which says ' Calm down, carry on.' Good advise!
The words 'Kick that inner critic', will be a constant reminder NOT to beat myself up if/when I plateau or God forbid, have a gain!
A massage is something I will have as a reward at 80lbs lost.
The small words at the side of the massage picture say ' my world, my style' and that just about sums me up. I like to be different and not fall in with the status- quo.
And finally, the words in the centre are copied from another sparkers board. When I read it I think of it as a mantra.
I WILL vizualise!
I WON'T stop!
I WILL go 2 the top!
I WILL celebrate my life every day!
I KNOW my dreams are on the way!
Thank you to that sparker for sharing those words.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
I haven't blogged for a while so I thought I would record my progress as I am just a half pound from my half way target.
Yes, I have lost 55 and a half pounds.
I have been using the tape measure to track my progress as well as the scales and these are the inches lost in 8 months.
That's a total of 54 and a half inches less of me.
My dress size has gone down from 30/32 to 22/24 ( UK )
My goal is to lose another 56lbs by November 23rd 2011.
I can't believe the difference in me when I compare myself to the state I was in at this time last year. I couldn't walk more than a few yards without the aid of crutches. A to B always seemed such a long way, and hills? well you could forget that! Today I walked into and around town for three and a half hours with the aid of just one walking stick. I was amazed that I had not only walked back up the hill to the car but I wasn't even out of breath. My back was sore but that will never get better and I can deal with it.
We went for lunch and I noticed two things as I sat at the table: 1. I had no problem reaching the underside of my seat as I drew myself closer to the table, and 2. As I looked down I could see clear past my bust down to my lap. I smiled to myself at these changes that have come upon me all of a sudden. I started thinking about other things that have become much easier to do.
Having a shower is no longer a task that has to be endured it is now a pleasure.
Another bathroom task is very easy and I don't wish I had longer arms anymore lol.
I can sit with my legs crossed, (not on the toilet!) I can't remember the last time I could do that, and best of all, I can squeeze through the gap between the shower and the wash basin and actually open and close my bathroom window.
Cutting, filing and painting my toenails is no longer a work of art, in fact I can do it now without breaking out into a breathless sweat. It was such a chore before, as was shaving my legs.
I noticed last night that my knees have definition and my ankles are also slim enough for an anklet.....if only I could find it!
I now have the energy to be bothered with exercise, I still don't push myself but I do 2x20mins
on the stationery bike every other day. I always use the stairs but I put my heavy bags in the lift (elevator) and 'race' it up the stairs. This gives me a bit of extra cardio whilst not punishing my back.
I don't worry about, fear or dislike food anymore. I eat what I want and I habitually make sure that I eat to nourish my body so that I might live a longer healthy life. Watching portions and calories is no longer an issue, I know what is right and good and I know how to indulge my sweet tooth without causing damage ie weight gain. I have learned to love crispy salad vegetables and I cook most of my food from fresh ingredients.
I feel so much healthier now, I feel younger, my skin is good, my posture has improved, in fact all of the changes I have made have benefited so much that I can't imagine myself living my life any other way now. As my weight loss slows down and the inevitable plateaus approach, I feel that with patience I will reach my goal in the time I have given myself. I am not going to get upset with any stumbling blocks, I will use my Spark strategies to overcome them. I have not ,as yet, had a weight gain since I started out on this journey and I don't know how I will cope if/when it happens. One thing I do know is this:
My spark friends will not judge me, they will help and support, empathise and sympathise with me, they will understand and they will help me through. As I continue on this journey I will carry on tracking my water and 5-a-day when I log in to spark every day.
Thank you spark, sparkfriends, motivators, inspirers, team leaders etc.
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