Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Missed my weigh-in day yesterday morning. Weighed in this morning instead. Yes, the scale didn't move. There was the few seconds of OH NO!, Stepped off the scale and stepped back on, it still didn't change, maybe if I tried it one more time....nope still the same. Maybe the needle wasn't exactly at the zero...checked....darn it was, well let's step on once more and see if maybe I just wasn't reading it right. I must need new glasses...it was still saying the same thing. Okay, think Wanda, did you blow it on the calories this week. No...stayed on track pretty well, even got some extra exercising in. Okay, remember, the scale is not the only way to measure elimination...right, now where did I put that tape measure. Ahhhhh, there it is. Okay, here goes nothing. Standing there, buck naked in front of a big bathroom mirror is not the most enticing sight first thing in the morning, but at least I can see what I am doing. Okay, the waist....hmmmm, better measure that again. ALRIGHT! a whole inch down. Now I'm on a roll (literally as well as figuratively). Let's measure the hips, bum etc. Better do it twice just in case. WOO HOO! another inch down. Now we are talking! Way to go girl, see remembering that the scales are not the only important thing really pays off. Lesson learned...never let a scale judge your progress.
So yeah me! Now I'm off to aquasizes and looking forward to the day I have to buy a new bathingsuit in a much smaller size.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wow, what a reaction I had to this mornings email telling me that I was ready to move on to stage 3! Excitement mixed with terror!
I was mentally backpedaling so fast, I must have left skid marks. What?, no way, I 'm not sure I'm ready for this stage.
I kept reading the email and each time I had to press a button to make the change, it was as if I was in a "do or die" situation. I admit the hesitation was there, then I took a moment to reflect on what I have learned so far and how I have already changed ...eating healthier, exercising, drinks lots of water. What was my problem?
The sentence that got me the most was about recording my calories once a week instead of every day....could I do that and still remain on track?
I pressed the appropriate buttons to carry me forward, I was leaving my security blanket behind. Excitement was building...self talk was positive, Yes I can do this! I'm still going to need to check in with my SP buddies and gain support and motivation from them as well as know that I am also contributing to others. But that's friendship right? You lean when you need to, you stand strong when you can.
Okay world...here I go, another new adventure...I will succeed because I chose to succeed.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I emerged from a family of multiple denominations and dogmas. A very confused and abused individual. We all have past histories and junk that have happened to us, no one is immune from what life brings us as individuals.
We have become a society that offers excuses for our behaviors, rather than accepting responsibility for our actions.
We all have days that we whine and complain, but it's what we do with that whining and complaining that makes the difference. Yes, as a child I did not have control over the adults in my life, but as an adult I do have control over how much I allow past issues to affect my here and now.
I spent six years being taught to confront my issues and coming to the realization that I was the only one responsible for how I acted or reacted to things around me. I was the only person who could change my circumstances and me. And the really big one...I am NOT responsible for others behaviors!
If I don't like something, I need to change it, the responsibility is mine. That was a big concept for me to learn 'cause I was the Queen of excuses. I could have remained a victim, mired in all the muck, excuses and negativity or I could claim victory over all this garbage. I chose to look back on all the things said and done and find the positive teachings.
I took from it all the things that were positive and taught me to grow as a spiritual person. I see how far I have come. Would I have the come as far if these things had not happened to me, I don't know. I do know that if I don't wish to remain unhealthy physically.and mentally..I must change it, no one else puts the food in my mouth, no one else keeps me sitting on the couch, no one else holds negativity in my thoughts, no one else makes excuses for me, only I am responsible.
So if at times I seem to be impatient with people who offer up one excuse after another for life not being the way they want it to be, forgive me. I know that the changes must come from accepting responsibility and making the necessary changes oneself. I have learnt this but others may still be on that path of learning and I have no right to judge.
For myself, I got tired of living in "if only" land in the town of "victim". I decided to change my address to "I can have it all" land in the town of "Thankfulness". What's really great about this new address is the land is all free for the taking, the water is "living" water and washes things whiter than snow. Blessings flow freely, you just have to open your arms to receive them. Each day is filled with miracles and the knowledge that I am a worthy person. I deserve to be healthy. I deserve to be loved.
Monday, September 24, 2007
How often do we catch ourselves using negative words as an excuse for why something is the way it is, or why we are the way we are? Can't, Won't, no good, never, seemingly harmless little words right? How quick we are to say I can't do something, I won't be able to, I'm no good at this, I'd never be able to . We find these relatively easy to spout forth, yet we find saying I can, I will, I am able, very difficult. Is it something that we are taught as children, or is it something that we glean from society as we grow? A positive outlook or attitude is looked on as something not quite real. You hear the expression " they are just looking through rose colored glasses" as though it is somehow wrong to be positive or hopefully. Yet if someone is being negative, excuses are offered in an almost concillatory way..."they must not be feeling well, things are hard for them, they have it rough". We have become so conditioned to negativity that we hardly acknowledge our words anymore. Words are one of the most powerful tools that we as humans have. If we want to change the way we see ourselves or others see us or change the way our lives are, we have to take into account the power of the words we are using.
My committment to my lifestyle change is to stop using negative words in relationship to myself. I will look at myself as a worthy person, deserving of being healthy and energetic. I am becoming all that God created me to be, a person who is physically, mentally and emotionally whole. I will live so that my inner glow also becomes my outer glow. I will be a "spark" for others.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Bouncing back after an emotional day sure feels good. Yesterday, my youngest daughter spread her wings and left home for the first time on her own. I'm really thrilled that she had the courage. She is my home body, who likes to spend time with her family. Stepping outside her comfort zone was a hard thing for her to do. She embarked on a 3 month trip to Australia, no short trip down the street for this girl. If she was going to step out of her comfort zone, she was planning on doing it big! The only thing that makes it much easier for me, is that fact that she was traveling with a friend and they are meeting up with three other friends and traveling Australia together, working when they need to and taking in all the thrills.
Almost managed to hold the tears back completely at the airport, but a few slipped out with the hug goodbye. The two of us quickly parted as we both knew if Mom started so would she. So today, I anxiously await an email to let me know all is well.
I am proud of myself none the less that an old habit of emotional eating, despite trying to put in an appearance, was not completely successful. Yes, I did go over my calories, but not by much and what I did choose to eat was actually pretty good. I began to get annoyed with myself, as I looked at my chart, but then I realized that I was only looking at what was immediately in front of me( one day). When I looked at the big picture(the whole week) and saw that the day before I had been way under, it all averaged out. Then I began thinking about my food choices and realized that there was no potato chips, no pop, no junk food period in amongst any of the choices I had made. What a long ways I have come already in a very short time. Has the habit of emotional eating been beaten...I don't know, but I do know that I am now in control of it. So, GO ME, WOO HOO.
With this one success, I will continue to build a stronger healthier me. I am looking forward to my daughter's arrival back home when I can hold up a sign at the airport that says "Shy...this is your MOM". I intend to reach my goal of a 50 pound weight elimination by Christmas and her arrival home.
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