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When BRAIN and BODY just don't match up...Wednesday, March 14, 2012
My Spark friend APONI_KB brought up a recent (and yet already forgotten) memory for me. She mentioned feeling bad after seeing pictures from a race- MAN can I relate! ![]()
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RYDERB
3/17/2012 12:08PM
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Now I feel lucky that my husband had dragged me off the computer the day you posted this blog. If he hadn't I might not have gotten a chance to see the new picture you added! I really hope you find that self acceptance and peace with your beautiful body! You look amazing! Report Inappropriate Comment |


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MIGHTYMISCREANT
3/16/2012 11:59AM
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Yayyyye for doing that!! I meant to comment on this, but completely forgot to come back to it hahah. You are seriously hot stuff. Even in your pics you didn't like. I think that happens though, especially to women. We think we look awesome, we FEEL awesome, and we see a picture and it totally changes that moment for us. Don't let it! Be proud, continue to be proud, and look at where you are now. I'm glad you took OMMAMA's advice. Sounds like it paid off, I wish you could post them also!!! Plus, did I forget to mention you're a hottie!? LoL It seems there is a lot of this kind of subject going around, some on your spectrum, some on the other end of it. I hope we ALL can get to the place where our inside matches our outside 100%. You deserve it and you've been working hard for it! Awesome!
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WALKINGRED
3/16/2012 11:46AM
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Oh my goodness, as always, I am in awe of the kindness of you wonderful friends. I really was sincerely happy that day. Throughout the race people would basically stop me and ask why I was smiling or what I was so happy about. I just felt really excited and proud that I had gotten to race day. It really wasn't until I saw the pictures that I deflated (not physically, unfortunately!)... It wasn't that I thought I looked like a big hot mess, it was that I THOUGHT I looked awesome (dare I say, thin) until I saw each and every unflattering picture. It felt like posing for pictures and the someone put that iPhone fat-effect on the photos without telling me beforehand. It was that surprising/painful. This is becoming a novel, but I have to mention that I took OMMAMA's advice yesterday! Mike and I went hiking and he wanted to take a picture- so I asked him to take two pictures: 1. posed- hands on hips, one leg bent (read that in People Mag ten years ago, stuck with me), and chin down to create a shadow, and 2. standing tall like a normal human being. Result: if anything, I looked thinner in picture 2. All those poses did nothing for me (and maybe never have??). It felt pretty great, so thanks for the good advice! Wish I could post the pics here!! I love you ALL! Thanks again for the SUPPORT! Report Inappropriate Comment |


ALYSSA40
3/16/2012 11:31AM
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You're crazy! You're beautiful and I love seeing these photos! I am really looking to grow up and be JUST LIKE YOU! I love it!
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THINKSHRINK
3/16/2012 9:35AM
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It takes a lot of courage to post pics you're not proud of. Now... 1. OMG, you finished a half marathon - YOU ROCK!! 2. At this time, there is NO WAY I could pull off those running pants, and I'm working toward the day I do! 3. You have got such a great smile! It makes me want to take you out to lunch and have a ton of laughs. 4. Those pictures show someone who is so in-the-moment-happy! That being said... I totally know what you mean. I thought I looked great at my sister's birthday party. My hair was just right, my make-up looked great, and I felt"put together" with my outfit. Then I saw the pic, and all of that was overshadowed by how bloated and overweight I really was. (You can see the pic in my photos, at 165 lbs.) So yes, I'm looking forward to when my body catches up with my mind. Oh, happy day! Comment edited on: 3/16/2012 9:40:02 AM Report Inappropriate Comment |


SEPPIESUSAN
3/15/2012 9:41PM
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I have had a few moments a bit like this in dressing rooms with three-way mirrors, where I could see my back. My back tends to get rolls when I get too heavy and I often have no idea they're back there. One time being in a dressing room was the turning point for me to get back on track!
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CURVYMAYA
3/15/2012 8:09PM
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I think you look cute and so happy in those pictures. Don't be so hard on yourself. You loved yourself than and you should love yourself now because you are not your weight. Don't let how you see yourself hold you back from being happy. Life is to short be happy with yourself and love yourself now how you are. 30 years from now you make look back at these pics and think "Damn, I looked good!".
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DAUGHTEROFTWIN
3/15/2012 10:07AM
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You are doing great! I think we all have those pictures which were taken at a time when we thought we looked great and, lo and behold, when we see those pictures after the fact it is a crushing blow to our self-esteem. Thank you for sharing with us. It gives me some perspective on my own picture situation. I think the great thing about these pictures is how much fun you seem to be having and how proud you are! Enjoying exercise and setting fitness goals like a Half Marathon is a HUGE first step toward a healthy new life. Report Inappropriate Comment |


OMMAMA7
3/14/2012 3:22PM
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You still looked super cute in those pics! But, I know what you mean. For you, and your body type, etc, you were not happy with that. And you have changed it (AWESOME). I wish I had more profound advice, but since I haven't gotten there yet, I'm not sure! I would think as time goes on it gets easier. Hmm...maybe have a friend take a bunch of pics of you NOT doing all the posing tricks and look at them to remind yourself that you still looked awesome and you weren't sucking anything in! Well, when you figure it out let us know so we'll be ready! Report Inappropriate Comment |


BIZZ27
3/14/2012 2:45PM
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I think you looked awesome in those pics!!! You had a smile on your face, a twinkle in your eye and just looked very happy!!! That's what it's really all about! You felt awesome because you ARE awesome!! Having lost that weight gives you a right to throw those flubber remainders around!!! lol If everyone else there would know what we go through, they would not have taken a second look at the little tugging at your waist. And I'm sure they didn't anyway!!! This is all a part of our brain saying "I don't care if you worked hard, I still think I'm fat"... Just like we had to break the cycle of needing food when we're upset and all, we have to break the brain's cycle of self-doubt!! You know if you were reading this blog if someone else had written it, you'd be writing exactly what I'm telling you! Keep your chin up and relax, it WILL come!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment |


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YIPPEEYAY
3/14/2012 2:19PM
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The above comment by MISSB8604 said "it all"!! It is just a HUGE weight off a person's brain to finally NOT have to give a second thought to any of that stuff ~~ e.i. sucking it in, tilting the head, etc etc!! And it is so freeing! A lot of times, during my weight loss journey, it has been that "freeing feeling" that keeps me moving along. I can remember that feeling, taste that feeling AND I want it back! You WILL get there!! .....BTW, congrats on finishing the half-marathon! Report Inappropriate Comment |


MISSB8604
3/14/2012 1:53PM
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As someone who is currently trying to figure this out, I want you to know that you’re NOT alone. I still have those moments when I suck in my gut, tilt my head up so I don’t look like I have a million chins and pose in a certain way so that I don’t look fat. However, there IS a certain point when you realize what you’ve accomplished and you won’t feel the way you do. I can’t tell you when that is, but one day it’ll hit you and you’ll feel it. It’s wonderful and it’s a HUGE weight lifted off of your shoulders. You WILL get there. You MUST stay positive and not feel so badly about yourself. You can do this. Enjoy your weight loss! Report Inappropriate Comment |


I am posting here in a blog because I would like to look back on this during and after this challenge. I have had my head down and pushed like a dog to get where I am now, but it is definitely time to look up and evaluate these questions:
1. List all the reasons you want to lose weight.
To feel comfortable (in interviews, on a beach, in bed, in my own skin), to never be called out for my weight (I was once ON A DATE and some drunk middle-aged man yelled out of his truck "That's a HUGE b*tch!" I was beyond mortified) by strangers or family members, to LIVE a long life, to outrun zombies (that one is for Mike), and to never feel constrained by my own body. Wow, I could list those forever...
2. What do you want to change?
I want to push myself OUT of the comfort zone., i.e. RUN.
3. How do you want to look?
Sleek, graceful, tall, strong, proud...
4. How do you want to feel?
Strong, energetic, powerful, capable...
5. What things will you be able to do in the future with a slimmer healthier body?
Honestly, anything I want to- races, hikes, or try a new physical activity without fear, but really, the day I don't dodge a camera like it's a grenade will be a good day.
6. And list all the OTHER things that you want to change!
Above all else, I want to stick with it. I have gone forwards and backwards like a defeated wave forever. I am tired of quitting. I am only going forward from now on. That is IT.


RYDERB
3/14/2012 9:37AM
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I"m glad you shared your list with us! I can definitely relate to everything! (My husband's name is Mike Comment edited on: 3/14/2012 9:37:29 AM Report Inappropriate Comment |


SEPPIESUSAN
3/13/2012 9:27PM
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I have had similar horrible comments thrown my way. However, consider the source. If some guy is enough of a jerk to call out something so rude, I guarantee you he is a loser on all levels.
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SMWATRMLON
3/13/2012 3:04PM
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Sounds like a great plan!
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APONI_KB
3/13/2012 1:58PM
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I pretty much have the same goals. what is this challenge? I'm so clueless, this is a huge site and I'm still poking my way around. Report Inappropriate Comment |


DUSTYPRAIRIE
3/13/2012 1:45PM
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We've got alot in common. So much of what you put down is on my list too. (It's in my journal, not blogged). Here's to a successful challenge Report Inappropriate Comment |

