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Week 12: From 147.4 to 145.4

Saturday, March 24, 2012

TWO POUNDS! MINUS two pounds!!!

THAT is a great way to start a challenge! Since January 2nd of this year, I have lost 25 pounds, and am now only 5 pounds away from my first goal of getting to 140... The only reason I don't have a final goal is because I've never been this small, so I have no idea what my ideal weight is. I've seen other's with the same problem here, isn't SP the bomb?



I am going to a wedding this week, and I am not afraid to go out and buy a dress, be in pictures, or see people I haven't seen in a while. I feel very confident and proud of what I have accomplished so far!

I mentioned yesterday that I had read somewhere (turned out to be a fitness/wellness quote floating around the interwebs- thanks THINKSHRINK!), that says it takes 4 weeks to notice your body changing, and that it takes 8 weeks for your closest friends/fam, and finally, 12 weeks for everyone else. Well, I can tell you in week 12 that EVERYONE has started to notice. Last week, I don't think one person mentioned weight to me, but in week TWELVE, a handful of coworkers, my building manager, and no joke, the check-out lady at my grocery store all told me that I look... "Skinny." YAYAYAYYAYAYYAYYYYY!!!!! I felt this was worth sharing because I did have a few rough weeks where I thought my loss wasn't noticeable, but for some reason this time I stuck it out, and now, 12 weeks in, people are noticing. And it is freaking awesome.

In week 13, no black cats will cross my path. I am going to continue to log all of my food and be active every day (even when out of town for the wedding!). In addition to the Spring 5% Challenge, a LITTLE extra inspiration arrived at my door this week:

... ... ... Bikinis.
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Have a great week everyone, and THANK YOU for the motivation, inspiration, love, and support!!!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ARGYLE-RUNNER 3/26/2012 6:11PM

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TORIAMAE 3/26/2012 10:29AM

    Congratulations and keep up the great work in week 13 and beyond!

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THINKSHRINK 3/26/2012 9:32AM

    AWESOME! Enjoy your week 12, and 13, and 14, and 15...LOL! I can't wait to get there. Soak up every minute of it - you earned every compliment you get!

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Comment edited on: 3/26/2012 9:33:14 AM

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MYLOVELYCURVES 3/26/2012 7:53AM

    Congratulations!!! Your progress is so inspiring. Keep doing what you're doing and the pounds will come off before you know it :)

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RYDERB 3/24/2012 11:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Hope you have a wonderful time at the wedding! You've been doing everything right and you deserve to have everyone notice how beautiful you are! Enjoy the attention!
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SMWATRMLON 3/24/2012 10:38PM

    You are doing great!! What an inspiration emoticon

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YIPPEEYAY 3/24/2012 7:50PM

    Omigosh! I'm so happy for you; enjoy your FUN week-end and be sure to Rock That Body, girl, when you are dancing on that wedding dance floor!

Reading your post was so great for me and I want to thank you for that! Your writings did WONDERS for my psyche as I feel I have been stuck in the upper 140's 4-Evah and Evah! Doing everything right, etc etc! From you, I now see there will be a change on my scale (soon soon soon I hope!)

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SEPPIESUSAN 3/24/2012 4:18PM

    You are such an inspiration!! Reading this brings back so many memories of when I was in the mid 140s and on top of the world. I can't wait to be back there.

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ALYSSA40 3/24/2012 3:15PM

    Weddings are a fun way to show off your new bod! I remember when I'd first lost 85 pounds and went to a cousin's wedding out of state. No one recognized me! I bet you'll look bright- just don't outshine the bride! LOL Have fun!

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CINDYBUNNIE 3/24/2012 3:08PM

    Have fun at the wedding this week! It's always awesome when you can go somewhere and feel confident about how you look and feel. :)

That weeks concept is interesting. I'll have to look out for that.

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OUT-OF-ASHES 3/24/2012 3:06PM

    So so so so PROUD of you! You are amazing and there is nothing holding you back!

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Week 11: from 147.8 to 147.4

Monday, March 19, 2012

Hi Friends!

Because I started the Spring 5% challenge, I had to weigh-in a couple days early (on Friday in stead of Monday), so this weight loss reflects my effort from 3/12-3/17. I am totally fine with this paltry little loss because I know it will mean a slightly bigger loss for the next weigh-in! Thinking positively here emoticon

I did have an amazing week capped off poetically by a tremendous non-scale victory. Because I can't keep secrets/hide my emotions/contain my excitement- I have already blogged and updates my status to let you know that I went shopping and purged my closet of my bigger Nat clothes and was fitted for a bridesmaid's dress yesterday, but I think I'll go into a little more detail here...

After a really nice day off, I went to Old Navy on Wednesday to buy some new basics. About a month ago, I realized that all of my clothes finally FIT again (I didn't realize that they weren't fitting until they DID, lol!), but lately everything is too big. Some things are huge, others are okay, but they sure aren't doing anything to make me feel good. Solution: new clothes (right. on.). I only pulled size 8 pants and medium tops. Pretty uncharted territory for me- I've owned a couple pieces in those sizes here and there, but usually it is because they are blouse-y or straight-up wrongly sized. Well on this day, I felt like a REAL medium. Everything fit. Some things were too big! It was thrilling, I'm sure I was squealing inside the fitting room. Positive. When I got home, boosted from the float of my shoppers high, I purged my closet. I tried on almost everything, and if it didn't fit- it went in a trash or donate bag. I've NEVER felt so confident to do that after losing weight.


On Saturday, I went to a cooking club St. Pat's feast (not as bad as it sounds, lol!). I brought classic corned beef and cabbage and a fruitsalad that looked like a rainbow. Here's a pic because... why not?


I thought that shopping and size 8 was as good as it gets. That I would never feel an achievement or pride that could match it... And then, yesterday (the day after the feast where Guiness and heavy foods were indeed consumed), we had a fitting for bridesmaid's dresses. Last year, I wore a David's Bridal size 12 to my best friend's wedding. It was TIGHT and I was spilling over. This time around, I'll be in a David's Bridal size SIX. That is epic. No matter how blouse-y or terribly mismarked, I have NEVER repeat NEVER gotten into a size six! The only reason I even tried it on was because they didn't have an eight, and the ten was too big, so by process of elimination I figured I'd be good in the middle, but the six zipped right up- no problem... Amazing. The wedding is June 30th, I wonder how much I will change before then. I am so elated. Here's a pic of the dress from the website:


In week 12, Mike and I continue training for a 5k, I will continue to eat well and work out5-6 days a week, and I will continue to celebrate this crazy NSV.

Best to all of you in this new week!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUVPOETESS 3/21/2012 2:05AM

    You sound like you are at the top of your game. FANTASTIC!!! Like you, I've been closet-purging, so I know how good that feels. RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh if I get into a size 6 again, everybody I know is gonna hate me. LOL Some are already looking at me sideways. LOL

IT"S WONDERFUL, ISN'T IT???

HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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RYDERB 3/20/2012 9:48PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon That had to be the BEST feeling in the world! Congratulations! I bet you looked AMAZING in that dress! emoticon emoticon

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LIVELAUGHXO 3/20/2012 9:47PM

    Woohoo!!! You are doing amazing. Size six ? - Sick! Lol and I mean that in the best way possible! You're doing awesome! I'm on the 5% challenge too, the shooting stars team..wishing u the best of luck as we shed the pounds..proud of you! emoticon
-Vicky emoticon

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OUT-OF-ASHES 3/19/2012 11:00PM

    Wowee! That's incredible :) so so happy for you. I'm kinda craving your rainbow fruit salad right now, yum!

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SEPPIESUSAN 3/19/2012 9:57PM

    You know what's even more impressive? I've heard that bridal gowns tend to run one or two sizes SMALL, so that 6 is actually probably more like a 4 or 2! My wedding gown was from David's Bridal and it was a size 10 even though I was fitting into smaller sizes in regular clothes.

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SASSYJAERAE 3/19/2012 9:04PM

    OMGosh!! How awesome!! A size six, that is ahhhmazing!! The NSVs are really helping me get through. Keep up the great work!

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OMMAMA7 3/19/2012 8:08PM

    Wow - everything just sounds so awesome - keep going girl, you are inspiring me!

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TORIAMAE 3/19/2012 7:55PM

    Congratulations on the size 6 dress! So exciting!

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ARGYLE-RUNNER 3/19/2012 6:36PM

    emoticon congrats on the NSVs!

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FITNESSMONSTER8 3/19/2012 3:27PM

    Congratulations on your new smaller size! I love your bridesmaids dress, I bet you look awesome in it. emoticon

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JENSTRESS 3/19/2012 1:33PM

    COngratulations! That is quite an accomplishment!

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EMKO0916 3/19/2012 1:00PM

    Its official. We were separated at birth. Its the only possible explanation. I was squealing and dancing in a dressing room just last week because of mediums and size 8s! Isn't it a GREAT feeling?! Now a size 6?!?! *insert choir if angels singing here*

You have every reason to celebrate and be VERY proud of yourself!

Btw- closest separated by color? Again, separated at birth. ;)

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BLUE42DOWN 3/19/2012 12:47PM

    emoticon

Hooray for Non-Scale Victories like that! (That is a very pretty dress, too!)

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THINKSHRINK 3/19/2012 12:41PM

    AWESOME! Congrats on your series of NSVs...I do love a good closet purge! By the summer you'll probably be rockin' the bridesmaids dress even more. Until then, enjoy all these crazy good changes - you deserve it!

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CINDYBUNNIE 3/19/2012 12:34PM

    Congratulations on being in a size 6 dress now! That bridesmaid dress is actually pretty cute. I really like it when they can be used still after the wedding.

Do you happen to still have the bridesmaid dress from the last year's wedding? Because it'd be kinda neat if you can take a picture of you wearing that to see how much looser it is now.

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CHOCOBUNN 3/19/2012 12:12PM

    You go girl that is awesome wearing a size 6 some people only dream of that size but you made it . I am very happy for you I can wear a size 9 to 10 now. In a 10 i have to wear a belt sooo!!! maybe i will be up there with you soon. You will look absolutely amazing for the June wedding !! Best of Luck emoticon

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I Feel Good!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

If someone told me last December 31st that by March I would be in the 140s, training for a 5k with Mike, and completely OFF of fast food and soda, I would have LAUGHED.

Don't get me wrong, some days are harder than others (hungry days, busy days, TOM, etc.), but I've hit this stride and am NOT turning back to my fatty, crappy, sedentary lifestyle.

This week, Mike and I took a hike, and we took pictures. No makeup, sweaty, workout clothes (not the cutey kind!), and I like ALL of them! I did the Spark thing (lol) and made a couple split screen before after shots and was amazed at what a big change -22 pounds has made...


I'm so happy to have a partner to help me through this, and I'm so proud of his hard work!


I went shopping for new (smaller!) clothes on Wednesday, and felt inspired to go though my closet and remove/donate the clothes that are too big for me now (!!!!!). It was such a cathartic feeling! I really felt like I was pulling these symbols of dissatisfaction out of my closet. I could SEE how far I've come, which made me feel like I can achieve any goal. It made me feel GOOD. I felt so good, in fact, that I did something a little crazy... I ordered TWO... ... Wait for it... ... ... ... ... Bikinis. Oh lawd! More on that later (when they arrive, I suppose!)!

Thanks to my Spark friends and fellow Sparkers for keeping me accountable, and for the daily motivation and inspiration to take good care of myself. I just adore you all!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYLOVELYCURVES 3/18/2012 5:25PM

    Congratulations! You've really come so far already :) Your progress inspires me to try a little harder as well. You look great!

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RYDERB 3/18/2012 8:58AM

    You're going to be stunning in your new bikinis! emoticon You look AMAZING! emoticon

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DUSTYPRAIRIE 3/18/2012 6:38AM

    I'm feeling your joy! You've done marvelous!

Isn't it even better to share your success with pictures? As much as we don't like our own before pics, I think they will be great motivation to continue and then maintain.

Thanks for motivating us with your victory!

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BLACKBIRDSING 3/17/2012 11:03PM

    You look great! Excellent job!

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SUZIEMAH1 3/17/2012 10:13PM

    You look great emoticon emoticon

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MISTYBLUE716 3/17/2012 8:04PM

    You look gorgeous! way go to!

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2BEABETTERME 3/17/2012 5:52PM

    Great blog! You look beautiful!
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OMMAMA7 3/17/2012 5:41PM

    Aww, so happy for you! That's awesome. And you're so cute! Excellent job, can't wait to be in your shoes - it's motivating to imagine myself writing a blog like this some day. :) emoticon

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SMWATRMLON 3/17/2012 4:58PM

    Your an inspiration!!

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SEPPIESUSAN 3/17/2012 4:51PM

    You look great!

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ARGYLE-RUNNER 3/17/2012 4:39PM

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When BRAIN and BODY just don't match up...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

My Spark friend APONI_KB brought up a recent (and yet already forgotten) memory for me. She mentioned feeling bad after seeing pictures from a race- MAN can I relate!

Last August, in an attempt to force myself to exercise, I signed up and half-heartedly trained for a HALF MARATHON in November... I completed the race and was elated. I felt accomplished, strong, and capable... And then I saw THE PICTURES. They told a different story. I looked 20 pounds heavier than I thought I looked. The tight running pants that I THOUGHT pulled me IN and made me look sleek, actually highlighted how big I had gotten (and did me NO favors). My size large racing shirt still clung to my mid-section, and every picture on the down-step (when my fat was following me back down to Earth) made me look like I was MELTING.

Before today, I've only shared this picture (pre-race, still wearing a giant hoodie):

But today, inspired by my friend's post, here are a few of my wake-up calls:




This is ONE example. Usually, we don't realize how good we look, how healthy we have become, but at this point- I thought I looked great and had pictures tell a completely different story. It sucked.

Because of moments like this, I find it hard to embrace my new-found health and figure. Sometimes I feel like I will wake up and be at my heaviest again. I still stand up really straight, dip my chin, and half-hide behind someone else when a picture is being taken. Last weekend at a bridal shower, I found myself doing this (sucking in my stomach for dear life, posing, praying that I didn't look like "the fat one" in the group). How stupid. This is as big a crime as thinking I looked good when I didn't.

How have YOU overcome this? When will my body and brain have a conversation (or whatever it takes) to match up?

UPDATE: Here are the two pics (posed/not posed) from yesterday! Thanks for the idea, OMMAMA, it really made me feel better...


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RYDERB 3/17/2012 12:08PM

    Now I feel lucky that my husband had dragged me off the computer the day you posted this blog. If he hadn't I might not have gotten a chance to see the new picture you added! I really hope you find that self acceptance and peace with your beautiful body! You look amazing! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MIGHTYMISCREANT 3/16/2012 11:59AM

    Yayyyye for doing that!! I meant to comment on this, but completely forgot to come back to it hahah. You are seriously hot stuff. Even in your pics you didn't like. I think that happens though, especially to women. We think we look awesome, we FEEL awesome, and we see a picture and it totally changes that moment for us. Don't let it! Be proud, continue to be proud, and look at where you are now. I'm glad you took OMMAMA's advice. Sounds like it paid off, I wish you could post them also!!! Plus, did I forget to mention you're a hottie!? LoL It seems there is a lot of this kind of subject going around, some on your spectrum, some on the other end of it. I hope we ALL can get to the place where our inside matches our outside 100%. You deserve it and you've been working hard for it! Awesome!

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WALKINGRED 3/16/2012 11:46AM

    Oh my goodness, as always, I am in awe of the kindness of you wonderful friends.

I really was sincerely happy that day. Throughout the race people would basically stop me and ask why I was smiling or what I was so happy about. I just felt really excited and proud that I had gotten to race day.

It really wasn't until I saw the pictures that I deflated (not physically, unfortunately!)... It wasn't that I thought I looked like a big hot mess, it was that I THOUGHT I looked awesome (dare I say, thin) until I saw each and every unflattering picture. It felt like posing for pictures and the someone put that iPhone fat-effect on the photos without telling me beforehand. It was that surprising/painful.

This is becoming a novel, but I have to mention that I took OMMAMA's advice yesterday! Mike and I went hiking and he wanted to take a picture- so I asked him to take two pictures: 1. posed- hands on hips, one leg bent (read that in People Mag ten years ago, stuck with me), and chin down to create a shadow, and 2. standing tall like a normal human being. Result: if anything, I looked thinner in picture 2. All those poses did nothing for me (and maybe never have??). It felt pretty great, so thanks for the good advice! Wish I could post the pics here!!

I love you ALL! Thanks again for the SUPPORT!
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ALYSSA40 3/16/2012 11:31AM

    You're crazy! You're beautiful and I love seeing these photos! I am really looking to grow up and be JUST LIKE YOU! I love it!

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THINKSHRINK 3/16/2012 9:35AM

    It takes a lot of courage to post pics you're not proud of. Now...

1. OMG, you finished a half marathon - YOU ROCK!!
2. At this time, there is NO WAY I could pull off those running pants, and I'm working toward the day I do!
3. You have got such a great smile! It makes me want to take you out to lunch and have a ton of laughs.
4. Those pictures show someone who is so in-the-moment-happy!

That being said...

I totally know what you mean. I thought I looked great at my sister's birthday party. My hair was just right, my make-up looked great, and I felt"put together" with my outfit. Then I saw the pic, and all of that was overshadowed by how bloated and overweight I really was. (You can see the pic in my photos, at 165 lbs.)

So yes, I'm looking forward to when my body catches up with my mind. Oh, happy day!

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Comment edited on: 3/16/2012 9:40:02 AM

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SEPPIESUSAN 3/15/2012 9:41PM

    I have had a few moments a bit like this in dressing rooms with three-way mirrors, where I could see my back. My back tends to get rolls when I get too heavy and I often have no idea they're back there. One time being in a dressing room was the turning point for me to get back on track!

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MARYONAMISSION 3/15/2012 8:09PM

    I think you look cute and so happy in those pictures. Don't be so hard on yourself. You loved yourself than and you should love yourself now because you are not your weight. Don't let how you see yourself hold you back from being happy. Life is to short be happy with yourself and love yourself now how you are. 30 years from now you make look back at these pics and think "Damn, I looked good!".

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DAUGHTEROFTWIN 3/15/2012 10:07AM

    You are doing great! I think we all have those pictures which were taken at a time when we thought we looked great and, lo and behold, when we see those pictures after the fact it is a crushing blow to our self-esteem. Thank you for sharing with us. It gives me some perspective on my own picture situation.

I think the great thing about these pictures is how much fun you seem to be having and how proud you are! Enjoying exercise and setting fitness goals like a Half Marathon is a HUGE first step toward a healthy new life. emoticon emoticon

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OMMAMA7 3/14/2012 3:22PM

    You still looked super cute in those pics! But, I know what you mean. For you, and your body type, etc, you were not happy with that. And you have changed it (AWESOME). I wish I had more profound advice, but since I haven't gotten there yet, I'm not sure! I would think as time goes on it gets easier. Hmm...maybe have a friend take a bunch of pics of you NOT doing all the posing tricks and look at them to remind yourself that you still looked awesome and you weren't sucking anything in! Well, when you figure it out let us know so we'll be ready! emoticon

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BIZZ27 3/14/2012 2:45PM

    I think you looked awesome in those pics!!! You had a smile on your face, a twinkle in your eye and just looked very happy!!! That's what it's really all about! You felt awesome because you ARE awesome!! Having lost that weight gives you a right to throw those flubber remainders around!!! lol
If everyone else there would know what we go through, they would not have taken a second look at the little tugging at your waist. And I'm sure they didn't anyway!!! This is all a part of our brain saying "I don't care if you worked hard, I still think I'm fat"... Just like we had to break the cycle of needing food when we're upset and all, we have to break the brain's cycle of self-doubt!! You know if you were reading this blog if someone else had written it, you'd be writing exactly what I'm telling you! Keep your chin up and relax, it WILL come!!!!


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YIPPEEYAY 3/14/2012 2:19PM

    The above comment by MISSB8604 said "it all"!!

It is just a HUGE weight off a person's brain to finally NOT have to give a second thought to any of that stuff ~~ e.i. sucking it in, tilting the head, etc etc!! And it is so freeing!

A lot of times, during my weight loss journey, it has been that "freeing feeling" that keeps me moving along. I can remember that feeling, taste that feeling AND I want it back!

You WILL get there!!

.....BTW, congrats on finishing the half-marathon! emoticon

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MISSB8604 3/14/2012 1:53PM

    As someone who is currently trying to figure this out, I want you to know that youíre NOT alone. I still have those moments when I suck in my gut, tilt my head up so I donít look like I have a million chins and pose in a certain way so that I donít look fat. However, there IS a certain point when you realize what youíve accomplished and you wonít feel the way you do. I canít tell you when that is, but one day itíll hit you and youíll feel it. Itís wonderful and itís a HUGE weight lifted off of your shoulders.

You WILL get there. You MUST stay positive and not feel so badly about yourself.

You can do this.

Enjoy your weight loss!


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Spring 5% Challenge Assignment 3

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I am posting here in a blog because I would like to look back on this during and after this challenge. I have had my head down and pushed like a dog to get where I am now, but it is definitely time to look up and evaluate these questions:

1. List all the reasons you want to lose weight.

To feel comfortable (in interviews, on a beach, in bed, in my own skin), to never be called out for my weight (I was once ON A DATE and some drunk middle-aged man yelled out of his truck "That's a HUGE b*tch!" I was beyond mortified) by strangers or family members, to LIVE a long life, to outrun zombies (that one is for Mike), and to never feel constrained by my own body. Wow, I could list those forever...

2. What do you want to change?

I want to push myself OUT of the comfort zone., i.e. RUN.

3. How do you want to look?

Sleek, graceful, tall, strong, proud...

4. How do you want to feel?

Strong, energetic, powerful, capable...

5. What things will you be able to do in the future with a slimmer healthier body?

Honestly, anything I want to- races, hikes, or try a new physical activity without fear, but really, the day I don't dodge a camera like it's a grenade will be a good day.

6. And list all the OTHER things that you want to change!

Above all else, I want to stick with it. I have gone forwards and backwards like a defeated wave forever. I am tired of quitting. I am only going forward from now on. That is IT.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RYDERB 3/14/2012 9:37AM

    I"m glad you shared your list with us! I can definitely relate to everything! (My husband's name is Mike emoticon)


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Comment edited on: 3/14/2012 9:37:29 AM

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SEPPIESUSAN 3/13/2012 9:27PM

    I have had similar horrible comments thrown my way. However, consider the source. If some guy is enough of a jerk to call out something so rude, I guarantee you he is a loser on all levels.

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SMWATRMLON 3/13/2012 3:04PM

    Sounds like a great plan!

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APONI_KB 3/13/2012 1:58PM

    I pretty much have the same goals. what is this challenge?

I'm so clueless, this is a huge site and I'm still poking my way around.

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DUSTYPRAIRIE 3/13/2012 1:45PM

    We've got alot in common. So much of what you put down is on my list too. (It's in my journal, not blogged).

Here's to a successful challenge emoticon

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