Saturday, March 17, 2012
If someone told me last December 31st that by March I would be in the 140s, training for a 5k with Mike, and completely OFF of fast food and soda, I would have LAUGHED.
Don't get me wrong, some days are harder than others (hungry days, busy days, TOM, etc.), but I've hit this stride and am NOT turning back to my fatty, crappy, sedentary lifestyle.
This week, Mike and I took a hike, and we took pictures. No makeup, sweaty, workout clothes (not the cutey kind!), and I like ALL of them! I did the Spark thing (lol) and made a couple split screen before after shots and was amazed at what a big change -22 pounds has made...
I'm so happy to have a partner to help me through this, and I'm so proud of his hard work!
I went shopping for new (smaller!) clothes on Wednesday, and felt inspired to go though my closet and remove/donate the clothes that are too big for me now (!!!!!). It was such a cathartic feeling! I really felt like I was pulling these symbols of dissatisfaction out of my closet. I could SEE how far I've come, which made me feel like I can achieve any goal. It made me feel GOOD. I felt so good, in fact, that I did something a little crazy... I ordered TWO... ... Wait for it... ... ... ... ... Bikinis. Oh lawd! More on that later (when they arrive, I suppose!)!
Thanks to my Spark friends and fellow Sparkers for keeping me accountable, and for the daily motivation and inspiration to take good care of myself. I just adore you all!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
My Spark friend APONI_KB brought up a recent (and yet already forgotten) memory for me. She mentioned feeling bad after seeing pictures from a race- MAN can I relate!
Last August, in an attempt to force myself to exercise, I signed up and half-heartedly trained for a HALF MARATHON in November... I completed the race and was elated. I felt accomplished, strong, and capable... And then I saw THE PICTURES. They told a different story. I looked 20 pounds heavier than I thought I looked. The tight running pants that I THOUGHT pulled me IN and made me look sleek, actually highlighted how big I had gotten (and did me NO favors). My size large racing shirt still clung to my mid-section, and every picture on the down-step (when my fat was following me back down to Earth) made me look like I was MELTING.
Before today, I've only shared this picture (pre-race, still wearing a giant hoodie):
But today, inspired by my friend's post, here are a few of my wake-up calls:
This is ONE example. Usually, we don't realize how good we look, how healthy we have become, but at this point- I thought I looked great and had pictures tell a completely different story. It sucked.
Because of moments like this, I find it hard to embrace my new-found health and figure. Sometimes I feel like I will wake up and be at my heaviest again. I still stand up really straight, dip my chin, and half-hide behind someone else when a picture is being taken. Last weekend at a bridal shower, I found myself doing this (sucking in my stomach for dear life, posing, praying that I didn't look like "the fat one" in the group). How stupid. This is as big a crime as thinking I looked good when I didn't.
How have YOU overcome this? When will my body and brain have a conversation (or whatever it takes) to match up?
UPDATE: Here are the two pics (posed/not posed) from yesterday! Thanks for the idea, OMMAMA, it really made me feel better...
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I am posting here in a blog because I would like to look back on this during and after this challenge. I have had my head down and pushed like a dog to get where I am now, but it is definitely time to look up and evaluate these questions:
1. List all the reasons you want to lose weight.
To feel comfortable (in interviews, on a beach, in bed, in my own skin), to never be called out for my weight (I was once ON A DATE and some drunk middle-aged man yelled out of his truck "That's a HUGE b*tch!" I was beyond mortified) by strangers or family members, to LIVE a long life, to outrun zombies (that one is for Mike), and to never feel constrained by my own body. Wow, I could list those forever...
2. What do you want to change?
I want to push myself OUT of the comfort zone., i.e. RUN.
3. How do you want to look?
Sleek, graceful, tall, strong, proud...
4. How do you want to feel?
Strong, energetic, powerful, capable...
5. What things will you be able to do in the future with a slimmer healthier body?
Honestly, anything I want to- races, hikes, or try a new physical activity without fear, but really, the day I don't dodge a camera like it's a grenade will be a good day.
6. And list all the OTHER things that you want to change!
Above all else, I want to stick with it. I have gone forwards and backwards like a defeated wave forever. I am tired of quitting. I am only going forward from now on. That is IT.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Almost another pound!!!
My future sister-in-law Mary and I threw a bridal shower for our boyfriends' sister, Pam this weekend. Everything was beautiful and FUN! Mary was in charge of paper (invites, decorations, etc.) and I did food, booze, and games. The theme was San Francisco (where they are getting hitched), so I made standard luncheon fare, but with a SF twist. We had a cheese plate with central coast bleu cheese and dried figs, Chinatown vegetable egg rolls, Palace hotel Green Goddess salad (the dressing was the bomb (and I cut the mayo with light sour cream- shhhh!)), Fisherman's Wharf sourdough sandwiches, fruit salad, fortune cookies, almond cookies, cake, and sparkling wine from Napa and Sonoma. Here are a few pics:
I went OVER calories for the first time this year by almost 200 cals (oy!), but started the day with oatmeal, worked my behind off all day, and ended with fish. Last night I totaled my differentials this week and it exceeded 4,000, so I figured I came out unscathed. Whew... I was nervous.
Yesterday the bf and I went to Balboa Island with Mary and her bf Daniel to celebrate the culmination of this party, lol! Here is a photo I am pleased to share of Mike and I (thinner, yes, but I think we look so young!):
I must admit that one highlight of the party was hearing everyone talk about how much weight I have lost and ask about my secrets (HA!)... It was a very nice pat on the back.
This week will be great! Mike and I start... RUNNING! I mentioned last week that he signed us up for a zombie 5k for later this year, so we're starting the couch to 5k program tonight! I am excited to step it up. You all KNOW I'll let you know how it's going!!!
Love and luck to you all in this sparkly new week!
Monday, March 05, 2012
Good morning, Sparkles!
This week was really challenging with school and work, and even though I ate within my calories and walked almost everyday, I was nervous it wouldn't be enough... But it was. One pound- exactly what I worked for and wanted.
School: Oh man... Grad school is hard, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a lunatic or mass murderer, and you should run from them. It's just piles of reading and projects without much instruction. You have to jump into a lot of work acting as if you know exactly what to do and how to do it. I'm managing a group project where we develop a strategic plan for a library I've never visited, and our library liason is not great with communicating. Boo. My cataloging class is just... Tedious. Hard. Frustrating.
Work: I am teaching kindergarteners the difference between fiction and non-fiction, 1st-3rd graders are getting a library tour to prepare them for a book hunt, and I'm running a review session for my 4th-6th graders on various library skills that they SHOULD have picked up throughout the year *wink*
Life: Mike pulled his calf and neck this week- POOR BABY! This made working out almost impossible for him, and he didn't lose (or gain, I should note) any weight... We almost had to cancel ziplining on Saturday (which was SO MUCH FUN!), but he was having none of that. A few extra strength aspirin and a heating pad, and he was good to go. He's feeling much better this week, and his crazy behind even signed us up for a zombie 5k (he's never ran a lap!) in October... We're going to start that couch to 5k program next week. I love that crazy kid.
Things that are working:
-NOT GIVING UP (I had a real epiphany this week about past "failures" that taught me how to get here, so therefore, weren't really failures at all. Now I know what to do- this isn't some crash diet, now this is about longterm health and happiness. Even when the scale stays in one place for far too long, I know I'm doing the right things, so I have to just keep keeping on!)
Room for improvement:
-Strength training! I've only been doing it about once a week, I'd like to double that!
LOVE and best of luck to all of you in this new fresh week!
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