Sunday, January 13, 2013
Today, I went walking with some friends at a city creek trail. It was really nice. Beautiful day, crisp afternoon air, walking and talking with a buddy.
I have had a foot injury and in the interest of not further exacerbating the injury, I decided to turn back at the 3/4 mile mark so the 4 of us hung out for a while and chatted each other up a bit. I had found out that 2 of the people who I was walking with both had had some variant of a gastric bypass. One had just been discharged from the hospital over 2 weeks ago, and was on the mend, and starting to exercise, which is why we were walking. But as I listened to these women, I felt sort of uncomfortable, "It was great". "I've lost (however many) pounds already". "They moved my intestines all over the place.". I was stunned. I'm trying to lose 140 pounds and I am listening to these women go on about how great they feel, and all this, and I'm thinking "well sure you feel great! You just lost a load of weight in 2 weeks! But at what cost??"
I am sure this is a hot-button topic on this site. When the idea that doctors could make you lose obscene amounts of weight in a matter of months, I totally thought about it. Until I "thought" about it. Invasive surgery. Mind you, I'm not afraid of an operating table, nor am I paranoid at "what might go wrong". The mere thought of a doctor operating on me when I am not in mortal danger does not bode well with me.
Now, you could argue, that wanting to be 140 pounds lighter would fit under the "mortal danger" category. But for me it absolutely does not. I am able to walk, swim, get on an elliptical machine, lift weights, do yoga and myriad other things that though I don't necessarily "want" to do (if I had my druthers), the fact that I am doing these things, is enough for me to make sure that I don't ever physically get into that "danger" zone.
I have a reminder on my phone that alerts me every day to "stop judging people". I have come to finally pay attention to this alert and have no judgements to make on my friends who have had this procedure done. It was what they needed to do to get them to where they needed to be. Far be it from me to say anything about anyones path. At the same time, it was very odd to have these women make their cases so blatantly in front of me. I got a glowing recommendation from one of those people about the procedure.
I know what works for me. Invasive surgery is not the answer. As long as I am able to get up, I will have the perennial argument with myself about why I should or shouldn't go to the gym today, go to the gym, get tired, take a nap, eat better and continue on the path that is right for me.
Saturday, January 05, 2013
I had a wonderful day today. I met up with some of my favorite people and went to San Francisco for a day to meet yet another one of my favorite people for lunch, and whatever else our day fancied.
As one is wont to do in San Francisco, we walked a bit. Now, I'm just starting this journey again, and walking is one of the things I need to get rolling again. Well today took care of that. We had a wonderful afternoon of lunch, shopping, stopped in at a fantastic eclectic furniture store, ended it with Philz coffee and home again, jiggity jig.
Thing about the walking for me is some years ago, when I was training in Martial Arts, I had pulled my achilles only a very little bit out of whack. With some care, and putting it up, it's been manageable, but today, and any day I do a lot of walking, it starts to screaming again. Now that I'm home, I'm off the foot, gave it some massage time, and will put some heat on that puppy before bed. Thing is, this is one of those reminders as to why I am putting my all into losing this weight yet again. This is something that can be remedied...when I don't weigh so much. I'm very thankful and so very grateful that I have not gotten so overweight as to have put my body in any more of a stressful position that I already have and to perhaps consider some other leg malady.
So, I guess this post is really about counting yet another blessing. My legs, though achy, are going to get me through this...and with high marks!
Thursday, January 03, 2013
So, when losing weight, it's almost always said nowadays, to go slow.
Don't make any sudden moves (change habits too quickly) and be mindful of your choices.
Well, that's what I'm doing. After 2 days, I had the same bad breakfast, a much healthier lunch today, and a salad...
My numbers are exactly what I'd expect them to be. Over yesterday, and within my parameters today.
Be MINDFUL of your choices.
After months of getting my coffee and my breakfast sandwich at the local bagel shop, I can still get my coffee, but the sandwich and I will have to part. Not something I haven't done before, but my taste buds will need to be trained to expect yogurt and fruit instead of salt. Though if I have a good serving of eggs and bacon, I'm fine...just without the bread and cheese.
...and so it begins...
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
Here I am again. It's been a year. I did a lot this year. I beat myself up a lot, the family home was sold, my sister died, I hadn't even gotten over mom dying in 2011 so a lot of loss and grief and crying and eating and depression. I didn't sink down the hole, but I got stuck a lot.
My weight yo-yo'd and I'm still not where I want to be, so I am here again to get moving like I want to.
After an extremely successful concert this past Saturday (12/28/12), I was beat. Exhausted, really, and if I want to continue this work, which I do, I can't take an entire day to recover before I do it again. It's not for lack of wanting to, but I'm getting older and I weigh too much. Recovery and stamina is essential if I want to perform. And I really want to perform.
So, here we go again...but I think I'm in a much better place spiritually to make it happen. My 'quit' has quit. I can feel it. And it's a wonderful thing. I hope to use this site more to my advantage this time rather than to just make excuses not to use it for my own good. I didn't like the food journalling, because I didn't want to be told I had to change. I have changed and because of it, I can finally see past my fear and make this happen. I hope to make new friends this time around. I want to hear other stories, and be inspired, and to inspire others.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
So, Hairspray ended this weekend. We sold out every performance and it was amazing and awesome and was the event that forced me forward into my future. 12 performances in 9 days. Yes, that's right. Needless to say, my body is wracked. I am blessed and happy, and amazingly exhilarated to see how my future unfolds.
During this run, my voice hadn't been at 100% and had to sing with swollen vocal cords, hoarseness, and had to use my vocal techniques to get through. I'm glad it worked. I went to an ENT doc this afternoon, and was rewarded with getting to actually see my sinus and vocal cords with a camera. The doctor forcefully injected a decongestant and an anaesthetic so he could get the camera in my sinus without pain. It was cool and educational and could see that my vocal cords were still swollen and red (with no nodes, thank Jebuddallahkrishna) but I believe the drugs made their way into my gut and stewed around in there, and I got the cramps, the gas, and the inevitable emptying of the stomach. Yay. And I had a gig tonight too. Oh well. I have only eaten breakfast, and though the majority of the drama is gone, I still have a cramp or two hanging out. Ugh. Not the way I was hoping to end my evening.
So, no eating OR working out today. Yay. Not.
AND...I'm leaving to drive up north to Humboldt County tomorrow morning so that I can rehearse for a gig on Friday. No, I'm not busy. *sheesh*
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