Sunday, September 16, 2012
I realized that I was staying too busy, with the groups I have started here in the building where I live. I also admitted to myself that my best friend here is also my worst friend, because she is so negative and has started putting me down and making fun of me.
So I quit going to the groups and avoid the negative person==altho she did infringe on my serenity while I was in the laundry room the other night.
Anyway, it is SO freeing to have my time to myself. I enjoyed this weekend! I worked on cleaning and tidying up my apt. I walked outside with my doggie, and took time to enjoy looking at the clouds. I am not feeling so MUCH like a tumbleweed.
This is the first time in my life that I do not have responsibilities to other people. And I am 60 years old! Wow! That's a lot of time taking care of other people!
So, I am just being quiet and listening for the rhythm of my life and my heart...
Friday, April 06, 2012
My foot dr. was not much help...I have lost 47lbs mostly by walking with my little dog...But every step is so painful...more painful now than it was a few months ago. I have tendonitis in my right heel and the xrays showed 2 bone spurs on the same heel.
He said, no going barefoot at home, no wearing flip flops, and buy something to put in the heel of my shoes...
How do people cope with this pain, when you need to exercise, but each step is painful? I'm discouraged!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
OK....I goofed up when a crisis clobbered me! Now I need to get back on track...I'm feeling overwhelmed---there are so many things I need to do!
I read on SparkPeople that I need to take Baby Steps...so...
**Question 1....what is going to be my first baby step?
**Question 2....What can I do (when I am addicted to sugar) when my friends bring candy, cookies, cupcakes, muffins, etc. to our bi-weekly card games?
a. tell them to cut it out?
b. take something of my own to nibble on?
c. stop going to games nights?
**Question 3....How can I go back to eating mostly fruit and vegetables here at the end of the month, and all I have left is rice and potatoes, bread, and apples? Well, I do have some chicken and turkey bacon and some split peas to cook...and some cans of spinach and some fresh spinach and one yellow squash and half an avocado, and lots of tomato sauce, some whole grain pasta, which tasted rubbery when I tried to cook it before, a little bit of celery, and a little bit of carrots...oh, and frozen carrots and frozen corn and canned blackeye peas...what meals can I pull together from all this---without overdoing the carbs---and making sure my proportions are right?
**Question 4....Since I lived on a very limited income, what do I need to buy next week...How can I stretch my budget and still eat right? I was doing it before...oh, why did everything have to get so messed up and confusing just because I am grieving?
**Question 5...I need help...Who can I ask to help me plan next month and survive the rest of this week?
SO...I was feeling very confused and overwhelmed, but figuring out the questions is the first step to solving problems, right?
ALSO---It REALLY helped me to post on my profile page, a picture of myself last August, when I still weighed over 330lbs....and post another picture of me now that I have lost 47 lbs...even tho the scales show I gained 4 of it back last week...a before picture and a comparison of now...and I can REALLY see a difference! YAY! This is great!
SO...I know I catastrophize....my therapist says I am "The Queen of Catastrophe!" LOL So all is not lost, no, just one setback doesn't mean I will never lose weight again...I just need to figure out my baby steps and deal with my grief and plan how to do things differently, using the new things I have learned this month...
But for now, I am tired and I need to go to bed...things will look much better in the morning!
Friday, March 02, 2012
I went to the Y again yesterday, and again was able to move in the water constantly for 60 minutes...I had such a wonderful time, moving gracefully thru the water---and I could go fast! Awesome! And all without pain! This is remarkable for me, since out of the water, it hurts a LOT to walk...I see I have more energy, and feel more positive and hopeful--and feel more confident I can do this---get healthy...I found out I lost 4 more pounds---in 4 weeks--I know that's not a whole lot, but it shows I am doing some things right! There were days I did not eat right, and there were days when I did...and some days I ate right a part of the day and another part of the day, I did not eat right....
My new goal is to even things out---eat right mosts days...I still have a dessert on Wed night for family supper, and I have a candy bar Friday night (movie night)...that helps with the cravings for sweets...I want to read more about how to break this addition to sugar and carbs...is it even possible? I don't know at this point, but right now, I am thrilled...and I got a new hair cut, too! Yay! I love SparkPeople! And I love being able to feel hopeful! YAY!
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