Tuesday, September 27, 2011
I have lots to catch up with everyone so I gotta find the time later!
Just wanted to blog, i'm working. I think i may have overindulged a little too much because i have spent today doubled over with really sharp tummy pains. I'm getting through the day though, and it's better to be at work taking my mind off it rather than be in bed feeling sorry for myself!!
I'm a bit scared to weigh myself right now, but it has to be done. I'm done with eating crap now and need to get back to some tough workouts.
The way i'm feeling right now, I fancy doing a bloody hunger strike or fast... i haven't ate all day as i'm scared to - as i've had visits to the toilet lots (TMI - apologies!) yet i'm still all bunged up inside? Will just ride it out for a while me thinks.
I have lots of pictures to share with everyone and hopefully a little burpee vid - which isn't great but it was an adrenaline rush to do it haha! Ciao for now!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
I took some photo's of my hair the day after getting it done. This just proves that i am SO awful at taking pictures - or being photogenic or something. I shall post what i took, and no, the amount of pics i taken is not in vain, it's because i kept thinking "Ok the NEXT one has got to be ok to share..." but seriously, they didn't get any better. I am awfully un-photogenic. You'll see.
I don't need to post before pictures, do i? They're on my Sparkpage looking all blonde.
This is a huge difference, lol. Please feel free to give your honest opinion, how you think it looks, and if i suit being a newly-brown. I'm enjoying it. Although i've had LOTS of mixed reactions, good and bad opinions - and i'm cool with both.
Here we go!!
I took the sides to show how short i've gone. I've always wanted really short, but never had the courage - I'm finally getting there!! :D I am LOVING having short hair having always had my hair all the way down my back.
I got somebody else to take a pic to see if they'd be any better than my crappy ones haha..
Aaaand i just washed my hair tonight - and it's always different doing it yourself isn't it? So i took a picture of that outcome too.... LOL
I....... didn't do it as well as the hairdresser did. Maybe i'll get a hang of it soon.
Happy Saturday peoples!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
*you really don't need to read this, this is just me making a sort of diary entry*
I'm writing this from my phone in work! Our internet is down so i've been exploring my blackberry a bit more and have taken the time to load spark! Its not too good with sparkpages tho so wont be able to spark properly.
I'm due a blog then hey? I'm not feeling great at the moment. I don't like coming here and saying things like that, because i do have really brilliant spark friends here.. But everyone is so great, and doing so well, going strong and doing themselves proud. And i feel like a drag. I feel like being here when i'm not happy and doing-good me, then i'm just a drain and positivity and i'm not helpful or a good friend. I'm sorry for that.
I'm not so down like i was last week, but i haven't had the oomph to get changed and workout. Nothing has 'tickled my fancy' and i've just been in 'can't be bothered' mode... I can't be bothered working up a sweat and i can't be bothered eating the right foods which i know are good for me !!!
Part of my lack of drive is because its so much harder for me to lose weight now. When i had lots to lose, it was great having a loss every week, i could get away with the odd slip up or missed workout because on the whole i was good- better than my old lifestyle. These days its so hard. Its so hard to lose just a pound or two... When last year they were coming off in the 3s and 4s! Every slip up holds me back just as every missed workout does. I'm sorry to go on, i just need to write it out because i wasnt even sure what was bugging me. I can be kind of lazy.. Not workwise but when its working on myself then i can get lazy, especially if i'm not getting far. Will i ever be satisfied? Im kind of pleased with my arms and legs, but my belly really gets to me. Its my own fault for getting so big, growing all that extra skin and fat, and now im stuck with it, i havent met one single person who used to be obese and has a flat stomach. Sur there'll be stories online but how many of those people can you have a proper chat with ? I feel like they'r not real people, or they are just advertisements for some product or surgery.
I'm blabbing now. This time will pass i know. I do feel like i'm at a wall now and my success is finished now - there is no more progress for me to make. Don't get me wrong i am mostly happy with my results right now but i want more? Yes i know - go out thjere and bloody well get it then. It's driving me crazy too that all this back pedalling just moves me backwards and is making more work for me when this mood changes and i'm in work-hard mode again but... Uuughh!!!
To end looking up - my male love/hate work colleague asked me what i fancy for lunch today. I told him i need to stop eating all together, he asked why. I told him i'd just ate nothing but junk lately, and he said -bless him, he can be nice on the odd occasion- 'oh well you look really well for it!' So that made me smile.
Soon. Sometime soon.
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
I just wanted to write. I don't usually... at times when I'm struggling or .. when I'm coming out of struggle.
I don't really know what to say either, but wanted to write some feelings down.
Tuesday, I don't know what happened to me. I think it had something to do with my rest day, Monday. I had taken pictures, posted them and compared them to the last photo's. I don't think i liked what i saw much. I also weighed in. I worked my ass off last week - plus i worked my weekend off too... two workouts on Sunday for cryin' out loud?! And then my weigh in on Monday tells me i GAINED a pound.
I knowwww i know.... if this was somebody else, I could give the right advice, tell them to keep their chin up... don't worry over ONE SINGLE POUND, look at how well you're doing, etc etc etc. WHY are we no good at putting our OWN good advice to good use?
I don't know what happened. I don't usually let weigh ins get to me. I *try* my best not to let them dictate my mood afterwards but.... alas, I am human. I went down.... Workout? Nah. So i ate instead.
I don't recall eating like that before. I don't really want to talk about that.
I could not persuade myself to lighten up. I HATE being like that. All's it took this afternoon were some various kind words here at Spark, and some magic words suggesting a workout for me... I'm glad i re-read it, because it made me ask myself "well then, why not?" ... All of a sudden, there was some light!
I tell ya, we are flippin' weird.
Get An Email Alert Each Time VW_STEPH Posts