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Finally got my answer

Friday, December 28, 2012

It's been more than a year since my last blog. Last year, I was in the middle of searching for answers. I would try so hard to lose weight by following my own guidelines but I didn't have much success. I really struggled with that, like so many people. I was busting my butt to see results and the scale would move only a pound at a time. When I last blogged, I was almost convinced that I had PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). For the sake of helping others, I'll share how I came to this conclusion in hopes that it will help someone else.

I started to notice a few things. The first was that I could not lose weight eating healthy. I was eating the healthy way, just how Sparks would promote. I also started to notice that I had a dark ring around my neck and in between my breasts. I also have it between my thighs around the groin area. I thought that maybe I wasn't cleaning well enough around my neck but trust me I was being very clean. As hard as I scrubbed, the dark stain didn't go anywhere. The second thing I noticed is that I started to get what seemed like side burns. This part is the most embarrassing and I hate talking about it. I also hard hair underneath my chin. I started to have to shave my face every day. I also have what is called a skin tag. I have about 5 of them around my neck. They are like little brown flaps of skin. I was also very emotional and depressed and my periods were completely crazy. Sometimes I would skip a month or two and sometimes when I did get it, it would go for months and I'd have to go get birth control to get it to stop.

At first I was alarmed at all of these changes. However, I am Hispanic and I thought that maybe these were just some characteristics my family passed down. I was so depressed and mortified and trying to handle each situation as it came.

One night in 2007, I had a dream. In my dream I was in a dark room and there was chair in the middle of the room. I heard a voice say, "check your hormones, that's the answer to your problems." Well, the next morning I got on google and put in all the symptoms and PCOS kept popping up.

I went to 3 doctors after that, in the span of 5 years. Every doctor told me I was incorrect and told me I was fat. Even though I explained that I was doing everything I could to lose weight, they simply told me to try harder. Apparently, I wasn't doing enough, I was devastated.

Last year I went to a Dr. and I walked in pretty nervous. I decided that this time I would not say a thing. He asked me what was wrong and I listed all of my symptoms. The first thing out of his mouth was, "You have PCOS."

What a relief.

He began to explain to me what it was and what problems I would encounter and how I might have to work to get healthy. I was so sad that I was finding out that I have this, but I was so happy to know that this was not my fault. I had been doing everything I could it's just that my body was wired differently. I took some blood tests with my doctors and it turned out that my testosterone levels were off the charts. He referred me to an endocrinologist.

The endocrinologist also did blood work. The results showed that I had high levels of testosterone and that I was not processing sugar well. He was the one to officially diagnose me with PCOS and with Insulin Resistance.

Now, the good thing is that I had been doing my research all these years about PCOS so when he gave me all the information, it was not a shock to me.

Basically the way I understand it is that when I eat a meal, the food I eat is converted into sugar. When my body has sugar in the blood, it releases testosterone, a hormone meant to carry the sugar to different cells. Each cell is supposed to accept different nutrients from the sugar but when my insulin knocks on the cell's doors, they will not open. They don't respond to the insulin at all. Lucky me, the only cell that will respond and open the door, are my fat cells which is why I gain weight at a faster rate and can't lose it as easy either. The other problem is that when the body can't get rid of the sugar it pumps more testosterone to try to remove the sugar and I end up with more testosterone than I should have in me. This causes my periods to go off track and in my situation, causes me to not ovulate.

PCOS is a hot mess.

Basically what started to work for me in getting healthy and to lose a little weight was to eat low glycemic index carbs, to eat veggies with my meals, and to eat a lean protein. The more research I did showed my that people with PCOS need to link their carbs with protein and veggies to slow down the flow of sugar in the body.

From August 2011 to now, December 28 2012 I did lose 20 lbs. This helped immensely.

My symptoms did not go away but I was able to get myself out of the pre-diabetic range.

It does feel like an uphill battle at times. I am at a plateau right now and I am working to continue to tweak my eating habits so that I can lose a little more weight.

My doctor has me on 500 mg of Metformin, which I take twice a day. I am forgetful with pills so I do forget but they are supposed to help with the sugar as well.

I'll keep you all posted. I don't do sparks anymore but I like to stop by every once a while. Maybe in the future, I will come back again.

I am so grateful to everyone and everything that has been placed in my path to figure this out. I am not 100% healed and their is no cure for PCOS. Once, you have it, it wont go away. You simply have to manage it.

For those of you who believe something is wrong with your body or health and your family and doctors will not believe you, follow your instincts. My whole family did not believe me. They thought I was creating problems for attention and none of the doctors that saw me believed me until that last one. Don't give up and fight for your health. Ask questions and don't be afraid to go to someone else!

I pray for good health for everyone here at Sparks. I love you all. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSUSRIVERRAT 12/29/2012 8:02AM

    So glad to hear that you found the cause of your problems. Pays to be persistent.
Validates my thoughts that one has to be in charge of their own health and that we are the ultimate judge of what is in our own best interests.

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DJ4HEALTH 12/28/2012 11:32PM

    So sorry to see you go

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Putting on my armor ....

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Well, I'm ready for the summer. I feel like I have my armor on and I'm ready to conquer this unhealthy lifestyle. I am currently seeing a therapist and I just started seeing a nutritionist on Monday and today I signed up at a 24 hour fitness club for a month to month membership. I think I have all my bases covered.

Mental: emoticon
Nutrition: emoticon
Fitness: emoticon

I'm hopeful that these opportunities will bring me closer to a healthy lifestyle.

Bring it ....

Ephesians 6:11 "Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil."

Faith: emoticon

Wearing that armor as well.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOKKERNUT 8/24/2011 11:05AM


Been awhile since you blogged hope all is well in your journey.


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DAPHNE_RUNS 7/23/2011 4:25PM

    Well it looks like you have some great support on your side. They will help you fit all the pieces together to make it work for you.

Enjoy the weekend.


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PMFISH 7/10/2011 12:54AM

    Congrats on making a plan. A plan is essential for any success.

You can do it!


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1HUMMINGBIRD2 7/9/2011 7:14PM

  I liked this blog! Keep that armor on it works!!!! emoticon

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Searching for the root of the problem ...

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Okay so I've been gone for a while. It's been really frustrating. I recently started taking slimquick pills which was a warning to me that I had gone off the deep end. I only took it for a week and now that I started a new job I have decided not take them any more. Diet pills aren't for me anyways. I'm against them and I only started again because I had gotten desperate and my mom is a really bad influence on me.

I've been overeating more often and binging too. I have been binging since I was 13 years old but for the first time it had stopped when I was seeing a nutritionist about a year and a half ago and was working on Intuitive Eating. Some how the binging decreased majorly. However, I stopped seeing my nutritionist and I went back to my old ways and now the binging is back with a vengance.

I'm also working with 5th graders at a summer camp. They come from rough neighborhoods and have major attitudes so I come home stressed out and all I want to do is stuff my face to numb the feelings.

I've talked about this with my therapist and we got farther in my last sessions in terms of how far back my issues with food go and how I deal with stress. It goes as far as me being 9 yrs old.

Anyways, I'm not at a place where I can come and write about the healthy meals I am eating or how I burned 600 calories in my workouts. I'm just keeping it real. It's rough right now. I accept full responsibility for my actions and I don't see the numbers go down because I do overeat.

Sometimes I can control it and other times it is as if something overrides my brain.

I'm still working on healing myself and figuring out where the wires are crossed. I keep praying things will click the right way so that I can finally get healthy.

But, that's where I'm at right now. I can try motivating myself and try gimmicks to get me going again but I need to get to the root of the problem. As long as that exists, it's going to continue to shake my foundation.

I'm going to start seeing my nutritionist again in 2 weeks so that will be a nice thing.

Say a little prayer for me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSANTHROPY15 6/27/2011 1:34PM

    I can relate to this so much. I went through something very similar a couple of months ago. I was resorting to dangerous things out of desperation... things that I knew were not good for me, but I didn't care. I just wanted to see the scale move even at the cost of my health and well being. Try to take things one day at a time. If you need space away from all of this, take it! No one would begrudge you the time you need to make sense of your thoughts and feelings. I am here for you if you need to talk. xoxo

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OUTOFCONTROL 6/27/2011 11:23AM

    Do you think it would help to just back away from the numbers completely and focus on a few healthy behaviors? It seemed for me that the harder I tried to stick to a program, the more my body rebelled and I wanted to binge.

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DAPHNE_RUNS 6/27/2011 11:22AM

    Just an idea.....try not to get on any scale for at least two weeks. The scale can bring on stress when it shows no progress; I speak from experience. I have been at a plateau for about 2 months now and I know why. I overate, did not exercise enough (I had major knee pain in my right knee) and I was not getting enough sleep. I know all of these things will not lead to weight loss and so I got even more depressed when the scale did not move. I have decided to make a change.

I am getting back to basics. Meaning I am aiming for 8 cups of water a day, trying to stay within my calorie range, and getting back to exercising on a regular basis. I am still working on getting in 8 hours of sleep.

You can do this Jenny. It is not going to be easy, but you will have my support and others from Spark to encourage you. I am glad to hear you will be seeing a nutritionist soon. They will be able to help you set your foundation to your new nutrition plan. Between your therapist and nutritionist, you will start to see changes.

Thanks for stopping by to say hello. I think of you and how you are doing. Nice to hear you are working this summer, but I am sad to hear it is stressful.

Take care.


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Not giving up

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Ok, self-discipline ... It's not easy but then again, anything worth it requires some effort. Here's an update on the first run with my goals. I'm challenging myself 30 days straight.

1. Portion lunch:
Streak 1= 1 day
Streak 2= 2 days

2. Exercise 25 minutes a day:
Streak 1= 4 days

I know 2 or 4 days isn't a lot but I've got to keep at it. Gotta at least make to 30!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VITASANA 6/6/2011 11:49AM


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MAGPIE17 6/6/2011 11:36AM

    Keep it up!!

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Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Ok so ... I'm working on self-discipline. I think will power is crap and motivation only lasts so long. Discipline is sticking to a plan despite the gushy feelings that try to get between me and my goals.

I did some reading on discipline and most of it had to do with motivation, will power, and making a plan .. etc. I'm an expert at planning out health strategies, marking goals on calendars, charting weight loss or gained on graphs, collages, and vision boards. What I can't seem to get myself to do is to actually stick to it. The longest I've been on a health plan has been about 3.5 months which is actually an accomplishment by my standards.

Discipline apparently comes from coming out of your comfort zone. In article, they compared to it weight training. The muscle is there but if you don't train it, then it wont do much for you. Discipline takes practice.

So I've picked some new goals. Some that are a little more realistic to where I am right now.

1. Workout 25 minutes a day
2. Portion my lunch (starting with just lunch until I master this one)
3. Style hair every day (this one is because I've let myself go and I need to get my sexy back!)

So I'm going to stick to these 3 things for a month and IF I have made it through, I'll add some more things.

Discipline .. discipline ... I need more of it!

I have even been praying to Jesus for more self-discipline!

Something else I realized the other day is that I haven't accepted responsibility for my own weight gain. I blame the situations and people that caused me to gain weight. For the most part it is true that something traumatic did initiate the weight gain but it's been many years since then. I can't blame it on something from so long ago. I also like to think something is wrong with my body that makes it not lose weight. That isn't true either.

I am the one who knows better about health. I pick up the fork that carries the unhealthy food into my body. I'm the one who choses to sit on the couch or lay in bed rather than work out. No one else does it for me.

My mom was giving me the usual health lecture the other day and I was about to go into my usual response. I was going to explain that I just don't lose weight .. that I try and try and nothing works but I couldn't say anything. Anything I was about to say would have been untrue.

I don't try everything. I don't give it my all. I know that I have worked hard for it but I've cheated and let things slide thinking that no one will notice.

I couldn't even react to my mom. I just sat there silently and took in everything she had to say and for the first time I did not have one excuse left to give. I didn't even believe that lies myself.

So I wont lie anymore. I know what I have to do to lose weight and to get healthy and if it doesn't change, it's on me. I can't live in the past blaming people and situations. I have control of what happens today. It's probably going to take a while before I undo all my bad habits.

I see that self-discipline is one of my biggest hurdles so I'll tackle that. Will I give up at some point? Maybe ... I'll have to practice until I am really good at it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COPE782 7/5/2011 12:49PM

    Good luck! I love the picture of the apple with the label.

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CLETUSETTE 6/1/2011 9:23PM

  Good Luck! I struggle with the same thing...keep us posted on your success :)

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