Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Don't feel so good now, and it wasn't even a DVD. Everything pretty much worked, except the intensity of the practice. I thought I got rid of the personality of The Master Teacher (former studio) in it. That I did, thankfully.
The first time I tried this, my new sequencing, I got chest pains the next morning. I am afraid of what is going to be my new cholesterol medication, so I can't afford to backtrack now, but, on the other hand, I feel depleted by the exertion.
But the doctor is happy about the new medication because perhaps this time my bloodwork might not show liver toxicity. I heard a little bad about the medicine from the Worst Pills site online.
I'm not so young anymore.
I am happy that I have a new team to lead, Don't want 2 be fat or skinny, how about inbetween ... I think Health at Every Size, presented as the controversial new paradigm that it is, would be new for SparkPeople, and for the Team. And, in the light degree it is presented, for me. My former weight was not put on just because I'd retired from collegiate sports or got pregnant and had kids. It was a hardcore case of weight, from age 3, onward. You can either internalize what society tells and sells the obese: to hate yourself. Or you could squarely point the finger back at society--that it's THEIR problem that THEY have with YOUR weight!!! I used to wholeheartedly wave the banner for fat acceptance, size acceptance, Health at Every Size ... you name it... and that was for years. The team, by now, however, is getting TinierTina Lite.
I would like to further talk about my plans for the team but there is no time ...
Let's just say I like the agenda I am starting to set out.
The new yoga studio "advanced class" is not the softest yoga practice going, so I can say that my own home practice sequence is hardly much more vigorous.
Why should it matter, anymore, anyway?
At least The Master Teacher was not looking down his nose at me.
Or the improved me, TinierTina Light, Leader of the Team.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Importantly, the latest MAJOR tweak to my home practice sequence, accomplished two things: it removed EVERY LAST TRACE of The Master Teacher's personality from it (save for parts of sequences - I am referring to the previous studio); and it balanced out the practice SO much so that the non-requested "teachings" from the private session were finally worth it. She set it out to correct an alignment problem caused by the rare - among yogis - inability for me to be able hyperextend my elbows--well, I guess that's important if you are going INTO the profession of teaching yoga!
I actually requested work on: crow, half headstand against a wall, healing work. I know what I asked for, and I know what I actually received. Bet she did whatever they asked for her cronies on THEIR first sessions!!
(I don't pretend the highball, such as I am going to take more sessions just to get the attention. Unlike some people selling memberships, I don't feint a lowball/outright lie ...)
This was what REALLY caused my defection ... I can trace it to the day. I did not have the intention, initially.
And the "teachings" - 3 months AFTER THE FACT - finally did not work at cross-purposes to my home practice!!
I got a tad better at doing crow ALL ON MY OWN (well, I can cruise the internet for info as well as anybody can ...) My newest tweaks rendered my home practice such that I seem to be receding further away from getting into full expression of headstand; however, on my feet, I am balancing and back bending, and back bending while in high lunge, much better!
Ever the problem solver, I was determined to make that exorbitantly priced private session at my previous studio work for me!!
(The former studio is certainly not used to working with people who really have no discretionary income.)
TOO BAD IT TOOK CHANGING STUDIOS FOR ME TO GET TO THAT POINT! The first of two new yoga teachers (from the new studio) and her relatively mild class already influenced my home practice, big time!!
Clearly, my new routine is an Intermediate Level I practice, but it vigorously makes me feel washed up and wrung out by the end. Then a little over an hour later, I feel such a wonderful calm feeling !! the classes I was paying for at the old studio rarely did that for me
You can deplete prana just so much, and then you pay for it.
Please God, make this true for some young people too who run yoga studios. Let them know what it's like to have depletable prana, and then maybe a studio like that would know why they lost me. I will still actually go to non-donation classes once in a while (commute geography is destiny).
There is only one donation class I ever took in my life.
I may be my own guru, but I don’t expect any followers.
And now for the famous quote from yoga teacher Kimberly Fowler,
"I’m not your guru ... you are!"
And, I know Ms. Fowler is also known for her spinning classes. I did not take spinning at a Town Sports International gym from a yoga teacher who also wanted me in her spinning class. Spinning does not appeal to me. But somehow, I think a yoga teacher who groks spinning is also on my wavelength - probably - just like spin teachers - they have an vast imagination, a taste for consistency (even if it bores them!), and an idea that all of their yoga students need encouragement ... from the casual trend-follower to the spiritual seeker ..
Sunday, July 11, 2010
If it's considered the local "hippie" yoga studio I now go to, or if it's the only yoga school community center-ish enough for my tastes, makes no difference, I made it back there again! Knowing my possible commitment level--the price is right if it allows me to practice there once a week, even if for only a few weeks, in addition to yoga-ing a lot at home! Then I definitely plan to go BACK TO SWIMMING ... ! And husbanding my financial resources again, only to return ... when I please!
This is what an old-school mellow, lots of time spent rolling on the floor, getting temporarily vigorous - the air conditioner going, as well- type of hatha yoga class is like. It seems an idiosyncratic style. That had been my only misgiving.
But it dovetails nicely with my home practice. And my home practice is the vigorous, heated power-ish kind. Let my home practice always be the one that kicks my butt MORE.
That way I can still be a swimmer, and walk; and my arch supports cease to function as a red flag to bull(y yoga teachers of yore). Some of my home practice routines will need me to wear arch supports too, most notably Cyndi Lee's DVD. But Cyndi will not magically emerge from the tv set to pull on me and push on me without my permission. And she doesn't see any distance learners from where she's at ...
There were people in this class doing wheel and headstand ... and it was optional. Quickly out of the corner of my eye, I assessed the percentage of those getting into the poses maybe the same as in the class I took back in '91 at the Y. We were ASKED first if we needed assistance. Every single time.
That's the difference between old school and ashtanga-based/trendy/obsessive/self-right
You know you are taking classes in the wrong yoga place when you are kept awake by the sounds of upstairs neighbors with no carpeting, and it sounds like World War III and so you get to a 9 am class, and they don't CARE how hard real, regular (non-cosseted, non-yuppie) life is on you ... they just want to kick you in the nether parts and make sure you enjoy it ... or they want to put you down if you don't fit their "ideal mold"; or if you still insist on joining them, make sure you can do everything ... or else, "I don't really want you in my class." or it's "go take a private" ...
Made me sometimes want to scream ...
I don't doubt my own level of commitment.
But there are so many other things in life. And my body is not built to include SOME types of yoga in addition to THE REST OF MY LIFE ... some of which is Stressful ...
This new yoga place is where I belong!!!!
Thursday, July 08, 2010
I have been on Spark for over 6 months already.
I lost exactly 6 pounds, but I was close to my goal.
Divested myself of setups and paradigms that weren't working well for me:
Jivamukti-esqe yoga studio (right down to the instructors' staredowns and the shakedowns)?... Gone!
Old way of keeping house where I live? ... Gone!
Keeping my progress totally manually? ... Well, that's not totally gone. I don't have THAT kind of mobile device, and I have no need for one.
Taking stock of my financial situation? On track ...
Supportive groups of people influencing each other on SparkPeople?
That fills up my well, like stated at the Julia Cameron "The Artist's Way" seminar ...
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Today is the 4th, and this blog is taking me NO time to write ...
First, I had a movie-watching marathon at my aunt's house ... comedy dvd's.
I could watch movies for HOURS .. today there is a chance I may see my cousin ... welcome to (possible) drama ...
I am hoping for the best. After all, it is a party and there are lots of kids around.
Maybe we'll miss each other and I couldn't get in ... meanwhile, our mutual aunt, in a nearby building, needs my help and I have papers to show her ... important stuff ...
And before I go there, I am going to do my yoga practice this time again with a DVD. I do DVDs in light rotation with my self-sequenced practice. The dvd with heavy rotation among each other ... there are only a few. The classes at the studio are carefully parceled out ...
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