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Annoyed with myself

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Well, I was very disappointed in the scale and tape measurements today. I don't really have a lot of weight to loose and was trying to maintain but I almost find that that is harder because it's sort of ambiguous. At least when you have to loose weight you have a more concrete goal. I would like to loose the 10 pounds I gained back (5 of which were gained back this past month!). I'm a teacher and I'm either too busy at school to eat right and exercise or it's summer like right now and I have way too much time to eat and it's too hot outside to do much of anything other than go to my apartment's gym, and I really hate feeling like a hampster on a wheel... I need to find some balance. Sometimes I think it would almost be easier if I was on a year round schedule like most people but I guess even then you have holidays and vacations and such that throw things off and food in the office. I'm going to try and consistently track my food because that seems to be the only thing that really works for me. I tend to get way too exacting with the calorie tracker trying to finding the exact food and amount and such. I think as long as I'm putting it in, whether or not it's actually accurate will help me to feel sort of accountable. I don't really feel like I can talk to my friends about my weight struggles because they all always just tell me that I don't need to loose weight. But the true gauge is how I feel and I feel better 10 pounds lighter! I have a petite bone structure and am not very large on top (if you know what I mean) and it makes me feel like I need to stay at the bottom end of the healthy BMI range for me to feel and look right. My friends just don't understand this. I guess I should be glad that almost everyone guesses me to be a much smaller size than I really am, I'd rather have that problem than the opposite. So, maybe I don't need to loose weight but I certainly don't want to keep gaining, especially at this rate! I need to get over the all or nothing type of approach. It would be nice if I felt like I could share this with my friends in my church small group but unfortunately I don't think I'm ready for that yet. At least there are my friends on Sparkpeople but I don't know, there is no real accountability it seems. I guess I'll just keep working at it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOY1918 8/3/2010 10:11PM

    Don't get down on yourself too much. Your body might be telling you something. I can relate to you in that maintaining weight is not easy and very frustrating. When I was younger and thinner and on and off WW, I had people telling me the same thing they are telling you. I was just not happy with my body. Now looking back, I was thin during those years and never fully enjoyed it. Now I am at a point where it seeems that no matter what I do or eat, I am not losing the 10lbs I would like to. My trainer tells me I look good, a dietician told me that I am doing good and that I might not be able to lose consuming 1250 - 1350 calories even with exercise.

So, my point is... enjoy where you are at. No, you don't want to gain anymore, I agree. Try new foods, new exercise routines. Are you eating too much or too little?

Yes, it is all very frustrating, but don't obsess over it, that doesn't help. Trust me. emoticon

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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Well, it's been really busy and stressful teaching and I've fallen off the wagon. I've been eating pretty much whatever I want and I've gained 4 pounds. I'm going to have to get back to tracking online. It's just so annoying though. Why can't I just control myself without having to write down every single thing! Sparkpeople works, I know that, I've done it many times. I just need to not care so much about being completely accurate. For me, it is just having to account for everything. I started eating lunch at school again which always makes me feel like I'm shooting myself in the foot but they do have this new meal calculator online and I've started just inputing the whole meal as a new item in the tracker and just not saving it to favorites. Maybe then at least I can avoid some of the extras if I know I already planned to eat only certain things. It is possible to eat a reasonable amount of calories there, I just will feel like I'm not getting my money's worth because I might have to omit one of the two sides that you get or whatever. Anyways, lets get this wagon moving!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONGO2TEN 5/27/2010 7:11AM

    Good job on recognizing that you need to get back on track so quickly:) 4 lbs is a lot easier to take off than 40!

I hate having to track too, but it's a must for me. I just accept it - like balancing my checkbook, I need to keep track of what I'm eating and my activity.

You can do it!


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ZNEKITA 5/26/2010 10:23PM

    You can do this! At first I didn't like writing everything down, but now It's everyday and it really keeps me on track.


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LSCHULER72 5/26/2010 3:52PM

    Hey, we all go there, trust me. I had to quit eating school lunches. Ours are very yummy, but portion control is not in the lunch lady's vocabulary and the fat content was astronomical!!! I'm having a tough time jumping back onto that wagon myself now, but I know I'll get there-and so will you!

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Teacher's lounge...

Saturday, March 27, 2010

One of the good and bad things about teaching at three schools throughout the course of a day, especially the day before spring break is that each school has food. There was breakfast at one school and cake at the next two. Yes, I ate it all. But today is a new day. I am on break and determined to try and control myself (despite having come home and eaten several cordial cherries in addition to everything I ate that day). You can't change the past but you can change the future. This is a lifelong journey. With God's help we can do it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRENCHYFEVER 3/27/2010 12:48PM

    Yes, it's very important for all of us to realize that we cannot change the past and should simply learn from it and move on. Too many people derail their efforts by dwelling on that which cannot be changed instead of striving to make today a better day. Good luck with your journey.

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KENDALL7261 3/27/2010 11:24AM

  Life is a journey for sure!

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Yay for swing dancing!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Well, I've been tracking my calories pretty well and have been staying towards the higher range of my calories (which is fine considering I'm pretty much at my goal weight). Haven't done a lot of exercising but I'm finally getting around to going swing dancing again tonight after an almost 3 month hiatus. I'm excited! I just hope certain obsessive guys won't try to dance with me all the time. I end up just having to tell them "I like to dance with a lot of different people" and they usually get the hint, until the next time at least... Nothing like a good three hours of intense cardio, yay for swing dancing! Onward...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSJERRYBUSH 3/20/2010 11:42AM

    Probably any kind of dancing would be beneficial and fun but swing dancing should be one of the best! I'm trying to remember just how that felt.....wild and crazy fun! Enjoy it! Edie

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FRENCHYFEVER 3/20/2010 10:37AM

    I've never tried swing dancing, but I've watched it and it really looks like a lot of fun and, certainly, a great workout. Good for you!

emoticon emoticon

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JOY1918 3/19/2010 9:12PM

    Sounds like fun. No better way to get exercise in while having lots of fun!

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Doing well

Friday, March 12, 2010

Hi, well I've been really busy but I've managed to eat really well. I've been packing my lunch lately and have been bringing lots of fruits and veggies which I've really enjoyed. It takes time to pack but it's worth it. I'm pretty much at my goal weight so I'm just focusing on long term lifestyle changes. I need to exercise more. Hopefully I can do something this weekend. That's pretty much the only time I have time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEANNE229 3/13/2010 2:36PM

    Be proud of your accomplishments! You're doing great.

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MONGO2TEN 3/13/2010 5:34AM

    Good job on making those changes. That really is what maintenance is about. Work in small bouts of exercise when you can - I know it's hard when you have such a busy life. Weekends are when I find it difficult to fit it in - lol!


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