Wednesday, October 10, 2007
It's been an awful week . My stomach is in knots . I've had 2 major arguments with hubby this week ( oh I forgot apparently I shouldn't call him that because that's a term of affection he says I never show ) . My week started off having to call my boss about an employee that decided not to show up for work all week or bother with contacting the neccessary people to let them know when she would and would not be in . In a nutshell this hasn't been my first run in with the same ole situation and i was told to write her up not once but twice and the reasons why and to quote" cut her hours down to nothing ." So............ now the fun begins since i'm shorthanded at work I have to deliver this write up with no witness . With my luck she'll hit me or something . To top it all off this kinda thing always seems to happen when I'm not in so it makes me look incompetent when my boss receives phone calls about it . I'm a little angry and frustrated with the whole deal . I feel like I'm being punished for a bad emplyees lousy work record by taking up extra hours and her being allowed to remain in employ there .
Now the other part of the story . I had an appt at the health department with my girls today for WIC . The enitire time I'm there my 3 yr. old is trying to escape down the hall and the baby was touching everything in between alternating trying to wriggle free of mommys lap . while all the chaos is going on ( I went alone hubby had plans with friends ) the nurse is basically harping on me about the weight of my older daughter and she wants me to go to another dietician about her . I have already been this route . My inlaws watch my girls and they feed her everything I ask them not to during the day . They are great with the girls just not great at following directions . I work 40 hours plus a week . I have no idea what my girls eat when I'm not here . I came home and told hubby how frustrated I was with the visit . His solution was don't go anymore and it's in the jeans ( I took that to mean she's heavy because I was heavy ) . He said we have one like me and one like you . UGH !!! Am I wrong to take offense to that ? Never mind she eats dang chips at night with daddy after I've said no . But now it's my fault ?!
Now we are currently arguing because he said he was going out just as I was finishing up dinner . So he's angry because he says he never gets his time alone and I always say that . This of course turned into a your not affectionate at all towards me and i don't think you should refer to me as your hubby because that implies your affectionate and your not . And he is going camping this weekend with friends and says you won't miss me at all because you could care less about me . Now he's tired of me and wants to know why we don't just end it while he's young and can find someone else ? All this because I was upset because he was taking off again five minutes before dinner was done .
Know wonder I feel nuts . My life is a mess . The people I could always talk to when I felt alone were my parents and they are gone . The family I have left I don't talk to . I have a husband who seems to hate me except when he's hungry or needs his laundry done , two active toddlers and i work alot in a place that's equally stressful . I don't sleep at night I pass out from exhaustion and mental fatique . Now ask me why I don't find time to excersize and eat right ? LOL Ok I got that outta my sytem . I feel better now ( kind of ) . I was going to make this blog private but since I always seem to be MIA even while attempting to post in my boards maybe this will explain my current state of craziness .
Ok I just reread what I typed and I sound totally crazy LOL but I'm posting it anyway .