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VICKYMARIEC's Recent Blog Entries

The real...the raw...and the truth...

Thursday, April 12, 2012

So last night when i had my friend over, I asked her to take pictures of me. I scrapbook and i've completed by 2011 Journey book and have started my 2012. So here are the pictures from last night...BEWARE...These pics are for my COMPARISON pages...

Full Frontal View

Side View

Back View

Side View

Face at this point i'd already workout so i look a mess...

Now for the back fat and bat wings...

NOW...after looking at these photos and those that i had taken months before, i can SEE a great deal of change. And for that i am ecstatic!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Great job on posting these. I think I'm too much of a coward to do it. So proud of how great you are doing. You are so motivating.

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    Great job on posting these. I think I'm too much of a coward to do it. So proud of how great you are doing. You are so motivating.

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April 11 - Pedometer Gone Haywire!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

My 1st 5k for this year, and my 2nd in history, is this Saturday. I've expressed how i'm a bit nervous because of my time. I've been clocking 3.1 miles in about 67-71 minutes. I just see flashbacks from the horrific experience that i had almost four years ago. last night i had my friend come over, the girl that i roped into walking with me. She had her pedometer on and i had mine. We set out to walk the 3.1 mile course i figured out by way of my pedometer throughout my training walks. the end of the night, in the 70 minutes we took to complete my route, my pedometer read that we completed 3.17 miles...her pedometer read just under 4.0 miles...WHAT??!! I must admit i knew something was up with my pedometer because every time we rounded the starting point it gave my a different distance. So here's the thing...we won't really know how well...or bad...we do until saturday with the official clock. We've decided to both wear our pedometers and see what they tell us at the end of our 5k. Part of me SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hopes that hers is accurate. That would mean i've been walking a whole lot more then what i've been logging! I am in love with that thought. That would also mean that i've been walking closer to an 17.5 minute mile walk versus the 23-24 minute mile walk that i've thought i've been doing. We'll see what Saturday tells us...

This is pretty much how i felt at the end of my walk last night. There are HUGE/STEEP/LONG hills on my walk. My friend, who is 50lbs lighter then i am, was trying to keep up with me. I cannot lie and say that didn't put a silent smirk on my face. At the 2nd bend she made a statement from behind me..."if we make this the last loop and call it a night i won't be mad." HA! I just kept quiet and continued on to the final loop around. She looked like she was about to collapse. NOW i was a good friend and continually asked her if she was ok or if she need to stop or slow down. I knew she wouldn't say so...that would mean that she gave up and she wasn't about to do that. Good for her! The last little stretch is going up one of these two the base of this hill she said..."if i'm going to make it i'm going to have to run it." So we took off...or at least in my mind we were sprinters at that moment. But we did it. Side by side we ran up that stinking hill. With PAIN...much PAIN shooting into my sides we completed that walk!

One of my fears about jogging, and i shared this fear with my friend last night, is jogging in front of others. I'm so self conscience when i'm out there that i feel that i would terribly embarrass myself. My friend asked me if i saw other big girls running. I do see other women my size or bigger out there jogging. I even cheer them on as i'm walking past them. It has to start somewhere doesn't it? So i'm going to do it. At least once a week i will walk/jog OUTSIDE regardless if others can see me or not. AND since my walking route is on main streets, i will be seen. So i'll put my big girl panties on, suck it up, and let the girls jiggle!

But first let's see what this darn pedometer tells me on saturday...

Todays Goals?
Walk 4 miles
calf raises 125
jumping jacks 150
jumping rope 150

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALLIKIA 4/12/2012 11:51AM

    Good luck at your 5k!

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Reflection Over 4 Months...

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Have I told you all just how much i truly appreciate and love you all? I know you don't always leave comments on my blogs, but for the most part I know who keeps up with me. It's in the small, sporadic comments. And i appreciate the support.

There's been a lot of talk about the Biggest Loser episode that aired last night. And one particular scene got to me. It's the scene where Chris decided to binge eat when life threw her a curve ball. so...

Moment #1: This scene made me self reflect. In the last few weeks instead of saying "eff it" and start eating anything and everything in sight, i lace up my shoes and go for a walk to get some air.

Moments later in last nights episode,when it was Chris and Kim up for elimination, Chris made a plea. She stated that the act of her binge eating should hopefully be enough to indicate that she still needs time at the ranch. Hmmmm...

Moment #2: That was a flipping lame was an EXCUSE. So another self reflection...I may state that i'm tired or busy BUT by the end of the day i will still do what i need to get done in order to reach my goal. At what point will people stop making excuses for their laziness? There will always be an excuse, but it's still just an excuse. I work 8 hours a day, i volunteer for a singles group, i'm an activities volunteer at church, I volunteer at a homeless shelter, BUT i still find the time to get the workouts done. I may not reach every daily goal that i make, but i at least do enough to make myself proud at the end of each day.

I got serious about my health and my goals right around Thanksgiving of 2011. My all time high weight was 319. In November i stepped on the scale just to see where i was at and it read was time to make a decision. So i did! I chose to live! I wanted more out of my life then what i currently had. So i made a plan and i set out to achieve my goals.

While my LONG-TERM goal is to drop 169 pounds, i knew if i just focused on that number it would make me cry. BUT if i broke it down and set about some monthly goals then at least i have a short time to race towards that finish line. 10lbs at a time is LOT more realistic to me then 169lbs. I'm down 40.4lbs since Thanksgiving. That's roughly 10lbs a month. When made my goals i had to be realistic. While i would LOVE to lose 15-20lbs a month I also want to ensure that the weight will stay off. Losing to quickly, to me, is an indication that i will probably pack those pounds back on. Why? Because whatever i would have done to lose that much weight that quickly i couldn't have kept up with. Think about most of the Biggest Loser contestants. Most of them put SOME weight back on. Not a lot but some. Why? Because they couldn't keep up with the lifestyle that allowed them to lose a HUGE chuck of weight so quickly. Instead of working out for 8+ hours a day they may only be able to work out for 2-4 hours a day. The same goes for me. What i'm doing now, is something that I can keep up with later.

Moment #3: my attitude about how i'm going about to lose the weight is different this time. I'm not looking for HUGE numbers. I'm looking for realistic numbers.

One of my goals for the month of April is to lose 15lbs. REALLY what i'd like is to be under the 270's. What does that mean? It means losing another 9.1lbs this month. Can i achieve this goal? Sure...why wouldn't i be able to achieve it? That's the number i'm keeping my eye on...269.9...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEINGGUIDED 4/12/2012 7:53AM

    I am really proud of you. I read your blogs as of recent and it doesn't even seem like the same person I was read about last year. That "click" is what does it all. The "click" is hard to explain but you know when it happens because all of a sudden your mind gets inline with what you need to do to get to where you want to be.

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YESCURLYCAN 4/12/2012 1:59AM

  Great blog :) I am definitely a strong believer in reflection because sometimes looking back can help you in where you need to go. You are doing an awesome job and I can't wait till you own 269.9 emoticon

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CHIPLEY_FL 4/11/2012 10:13PM

    I know what you are saying about being realistic with your goals. We want instant gratification in our weight loss. It's that need for instant gratification that got us in the shape we are in now.

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    I *heart* this blog. You make some very valid points. I'm so proud of you!

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Panic Attacks

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

DISCLAIMER: Sometimes i write blogs just so that i can look back and see where i've been...

I've had maybe three panic attacks my entire life. And all 3 of them have been within the last 2.5yrs - since i've moved to Texas. Why am I saying this? Because i had a panic attack last night...

I first moved to DFW back in November of 2009. I moved from Chicago where I was born and raised. You can only imagine that all of my family and friends where there. So why did I move to Texas? Work asked me to relocate - being that I was divorced for 1 year and I did not WANT to look for another job i relocated. I mean they paid for EVERYTHING for me to move. Nothing was holding me back.

I first panic attack was within the first 3 days of moving here. I was so extremely homesick and lonely. I knew absolutely no one. I would cry myself to sleep every night and just pray that God would bring friends into my life. Nothing appears out of no where. So i joined a Church and then a singles group. I absolutely love the people Christ has brought into my life. It did take three very lonely months before I actually met anyone. It was so stinking hard. Unless i was at work or talking to my cat, i never heard my voice. It was so sad. So naturally i'd cry during those first few months and i can remember one night where it just got so bad that i couldn't breathe through the crying and what felt like a frog in my throat.

The second panic attack happened about a year ago. It was one of THOSE nights where i was just so tired of not having a significant other to talk about my day. I was tired of going to bed alone.

The third was last night...

I always get these attacks and they are when i'm extremely lonely. I started thinking about how i miss the comfort of having someone to talk to about anything. I missed the smell of a mans cologne. I missed just being wrapped up in someone's arms. I was tired of having half my bed empty every night. So as i often do, i started praying. And the sobs came. Then the body shakes because i couldn't breathe. I had to take deep breaths and tell myself to breathe.

I don't NEED someone...but i WANT someone. I can take care of myself. But i want someone to share this journey of a life i'm in. It's the knowing that i'm cared for and cared about. I want to know that someone is thinking of me. I want to know that someone loves me. I know when the time is right it will happen. It's the waiting for that time that's hard.

While i was having this panic attack i thought about my life. I want to know that i'm living my life and not just allowing the days to pass by. What kind of life is that? Just to wake up one day and think, "Did i even do anything that mattered?" That's not what i want from my life. I want to know that who i am and what i do matters....whether it's just to me or to someone else.

I know there's someone out there for's just a matter of how long until our paths cross

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NICETOCYOU 4/4/2012 8:20PM

    I know exactly what you are saying and I am in a similar boat. Feel great, look great, but I just don't meet anyone and that is very frustrating. I have faith that it will happen though, and I can't wait to hear when it happens to you.

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CHIPLEY_FL 4/4/2012 4:06PM

    "One is the loneliest number.?" "Two can be as bad as one. It's the loneliest number since the number one."

Just be sure you take care of you so you will know you are worthy of only a worthy man.

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BAM0827 4/4/2012 2:14PM

    Maybe God's plan for you right now is not to have a guy in your life so you can focus on you. You're doing so well in making healthy choices and becoming the person you want to be - having a guy thrown in there may be just a bit too much. I know that doesn't always help to take away the lonliness (I didn't find someone until I was 36 - so I understand the lonely feeling) but at those moments when you're trying to figure out "why does it have to be this way" it may help a little.

You are cared for and loved - maybe not by a single guy but don't discount all the other love you have going on. It's just as valuable and important in your life!

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BIZZ27 4/4/2012 2:13PM

    ok, I'm going to start this by telling you that I do NOT believe in the church system, however I DO believe in God.

Now this might sound a bit preachy, but if God hasn't made you meet that other half, then it's because you're not ready to meet him. God will not let you meet the right man until you are happy with your life as it is now... You must learn to accept yourself, flaws and all, and then God will grace you with an amazing person to share your happiness with...

I'll pray for you and hope you will find happiness within yourself!!!

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    Awwww...sweetie I'm so sorry you felt this way last night.
I know we've never met but maybe we can exchange numbers and stay in touch. I would really like to get to know you more. Plus you can never have too many friends.
I was where you were and feeling the same way last year. I would cry myself to sleep as well.
Thankfully God was listening. My best friend signed me up for an online dating site and met my boyfriend a month later. We've been together 9 months now and I thank God everyday that he brought him into my life.
Like ABEAUTIFULMESS1 said The right person WILL come along, and will TOTALLY be worth waiting for!!!"
I really believe this to be true! emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/4/2012 2:12:08 PM

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    I know that you've probably heard this before, but sometimes its good to hear over and over....and over again- The right person WILL come along, and will TOTALLY be worth waiting for!!! I'll pray that you will meet the person that God has in mind for you and that if He is planning on taking His time that He will give you a peace that will help you as you "wait;'. :)

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April 3rd - What a CRAZY day with all the tornadoes!

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

So when i first started doing the 4 mile Leslie video i burned an average of about 450 calories. Now it's under the 400's. I guess it takes less effort for me to do them. It's still a great exercise for when i need to stay indoors but i need to push myself for a harder workout.

So yesterday my eaten calories totaled just under 1650 calories. And i guess i only burned about 400 calories. I need to step it back up so that i can start dropping some of these pounds.

Now I know that my April Goals state that i want to lose 15lbs this month, but the truth is any loss would be great. But i like to aim high.

So i stated a few days ago how i needed to change WHAT i ate. I wanted to steer clear of the frozen foods and start eating more fresh foods. So i picked up some low sodium lunch meats (Hillshire Honey Baked Ham), some 2% pepperjack cheese, sandwich thins, and Jennie-O Turkey Burgers. Now I have to tell you I was a bit nervous about the turkey burgers. I've had soy and veggie burgers in the pat and they were GROSS - sorry if you like them, but I do not. So yesterday I had me a ham sandwich with Quaker Cheddar Rice mini cakes and i was so full! Then for dinner i grilled up a turkey burger on my george foreman (gotta love that thing). I was a bit nervous...but it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! Maybe it was because it's been forever since i've had a burger, but damn that was good! One burger with some more rice cakes was what i needed. I was so full! Now my sodium was way high - mainly due to my breakfast that had a smoked sausage link and some bacon. And i need to watch the rice cakes as they also have quite a bit of sodium. But overall, i'm quite proud of the small changes in my food.

Now for what happened during much of the day yesterday..

I'm happy to report that there were NO deaths from the 12 tornadoes that hit the DFW area. THANK YOU JESUS! There were about 10 injuries, but none fatal. About 650 homes were damaged. You can replace things - you cannot replace loved ones! Here's some photos that I grabbed from friends or off the news...

Yesterday was a VERY eventful day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VICKYMARIEC 4/4/2012 4:40PM

    I have a HRM that i use. There's really no other way to know what you burn unless its device that accounts for age, height, weight, sex, and ACTUALLY monitors your heart during the activities.

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CHIPLEY_FL 4/4/2012 4:27PM

    OMG those are some amazing but scary pictures.

How do you know how many calories you are burning? Do you have a body bug or something like it? Does it communicate with sparkpeople?

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MICHELLESMILES_ 4/4/2012 10:03AM

    Wow how scary!

About the burning calorie thing...when I use to workout for an hour (depending what I did) I could burn around 1000

now I'm lucky to burn 600-800

Yeah it stinks but yay for getting healthier :)

Proud of you girlie!

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    Wow, those are some pictures! Scary! I'm so glad there were no fatalities.

Great job on making healthy food choices!

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