Wednesday, March 14, 2012
I don't know WHY i did it! It's not like I didn't THINK about it BEFORE I did it. But something just snapped and I went for it. WHY????!!! Then i really BINGED...not once ...not twice...but THREE times!
The voices inside of my head are arguing. The one voice is saying, "I knew she'd do it!" While the other voice says, "She won't do it. I know her. She just won't." But the thing is...I DID do it...and now...what do i do NOW?!
I love this question...a year from now what would i have wished I had done today? Would I have just done what i just did? Or would i have walked away?
A part of me...I guess and one of the voices that live in my head...thinks it's ok with my binging today. Binging is doing something in excess...like eating. So i binged today, so what? The other voice inside of my head is just shaking, yes i can picture the shaking headed voice, and repeatedly asking, I can't believe she just DID that...
Do you want to know what I binged on...
Since binging is the act of doing something in excess then i binged on signing up for some 5k's!!!!!!!!!
So that voice inside of my head...the one that was agreeing with me and egging me on to do it...that's the voice that appeared back in January - the encouraging - you can do anything - voice! take that you self-doubting, can't believe that i signed up for multiple 5K's voice!
I've only ever completed 1 5K. AND the person tricked me and then left me there to do it on my own. It was horrible! I was well over 300lbs and I came in dead last and after the awards ceremony ended. I cried it was so embarrassing. But i know I can do it this time. I just KNOW it!
So my goal, as the first of the 5K's is April 14th, is to complete that thing in under 60 minutes.
I can walk fast on the treadmill, but let's see what the pavement tells me. I'll start walking outside to see where i currently stand and go from there...
How many did I sign up for in 2012? 5 so far...4 Race for the Cures and one Jingle Bell Dash in December. They haven't opened a Halloween or Thanksgiving one yet. BUT i plan on signing up for those two once they are up and running!