VICKYMARIEC   53,132
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VICKYMARIEC's Recent Blog Entries

End of Year Happennings & 2013 Goals

Friday, January 04, 2013

I never make new years resolutions. Those are made to be broken after a few days. BUT i do make monthly goals.

January 2013 Goals:
1 - drop 5-10lbs
2 - stay within calorie range
3 - drink 64oz of water every day
4 - no soda
5 - 100 walking/running miles
6 - 100 bike miles
7 - 2500 crunches
8 - go to the gym 3x a week
9 - 1500 squats
10 - limit eating out to 1x per week

overall 2013 goal: to end the year under 200lbs...make it to onederland!

Planned Walks/Runs:
Cowtown 10k - February 23rd (bucket list item)
Dash Down Greenville St. Paddys Day 5k - March 16th
Race for the Cure 5k - April 16 (goal is to beat last years time)
Heels and Hills Half Marathon - May 5th (bucket list item)
Jalapeņo Half Marathon - June 29th (bucket list item)
Susan G Koman 3-Day, 60 Mile Walk - November (bucket list item) (this one is still up in the air)

So it's been a while since i blogged. But this is how i ended 2012:

Picking up race packets!


Jingle Bell Run - 5k








Christmas!




Grabbing some Garrett's Popcorn!




Saying good-bye...


New Years Eve!

He was learning to do the duck face!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARYONAMISSION 1/9/2013 1:11PM

    Love the montly goals. How are you doing with them so far? Those pictures made me smile because you look so darn happy!
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PRINCESSAMY 1/7/2013 12:52PM

    I love the pictures!

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KROLES55 1/5/2013 9:18AM

    Great goals defined..You can get to onederland!

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MIRAGE727 1/4/2013 8:30PM

    Love the monthly list! Stay strong and focused!
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RICHILA 1/4/2013 5:37PM

    Spark On! We Got This! emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 1/4/2013 5:29PM

    you can do it love.love that you are doing it monthly not yearly.mine was a general year one lol.keep on keeping on and a great new year love. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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I'm Shocked and Embarrassed...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

DISCLAIMER: Typically i have a blog like this when i'm PMSing. But today that can't be my excuse. Today's blog is based solely off of my reactions towards pictures just posted from a race i participated in on December 1st.

I've been waiting for these pictures since race day (Dec. 1st). Everywhere i turned photographers were taking pictures. We walked/jogged this 5k. At the end of the race, we had our best time yet...50.13 minutes. I couldn't wait to see the pictures that coincided with, what was for me at the time, a great race!

I felt good about the 5k. The time was great. The weather was great. I felt great. I will be honest. When i arrived at the race i called my friend who had NOT registered at the time. I whispered to her that i was the biggest person there. I begged her to do it with me...otherwise i was going to turn around and go home...i know, no self confidence. She came along with 5 minutes to spare and we did great.

Today the pictures were posted. There were over 4000 pictures to weed through. When i came across the first one of me...i was shocked and horrified. I always take pictures. I don't really shy away from the camera. I started off at about 320lbs (at least i did when i finally weighed myself). I'm not sure what my heaviest has ever been. I'm still in the 260's...about 60lbs gone...

Those pictures from the race horrified me. I mean as soon as i saw it tears came to my eyes and fell down my cheeks. I flew up to cover my dropped open mouth. I am so huge...the pictures captured every bump, every fat roll, the second chin, every lump...i KNOW i'm still big. But looking at those pictures it's as though i've done nothing.

I'm embarrassed...i'm horrified...and more then ever i don't want to go home for Christmas. My brother and sister in law made comments about my weight and how i should have lost a lot more by now the last time i saw them in August. I don't want to hear it...i just don't want to go home any more...i love them. And i WANT to see them...i just don't want to hear the comments from them. I want them to love me for who ever i am and at what ever size i am. I don't want to go home and just feel bad about myself. That's my fear...that for those two weeks i'm home i'll just constantly feel bad about myself. Do they mean well? I'm sure they do. But it makes me feel so low...low enough that i don't want to go home for Christmas.

I would post the pics, but i refuse to pay $11 per picture for pictures i hate. I did snippet them but they are copy righted and i don't want to get into trouble. They are just for me to see...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANDK156 12/18/2012 3:43PM

    Forget the photos. The photographer was probably crappy. Focus instead on the 60 pounds you've lost! That is awesome!!! I didn't lose that much in a year and recently took my foot off the gas when I injured myself and regained almost 15 pounds in 2.5 months. You need to focus on what YOU think and what YOU feel, and stop giving a rat's behind what other people think. If anyone in my family picked on me about my weight, I'd let them have it and ask who died and made them the boss of everything and tell them to STFU cos I'm getting healthy and losing at my own pace. And then I would think to myself I'd rather be fat than nasty and hateful, cos at least I can lose the weight. Being a bitch is a lot worse than being fat emoticon

You're always so upbeat and cheerful, it's hard to read this blog, and I hate that you're obviously so upset. I understand it, cos I think we've all been there, but please try to focus on all the positives you've achieved, ok? emoticon

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NEWLEAF16 12/13/2012 8:17PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
I teared up reading your blog today. The comments you have gotten back on it so far sound right on to me!!! And I can't say anything better than what has been posted already. So please know that I am among these ranks supporting you, who think losing 60 # and completing a 5K in under an hour and awesome achievements, who value what you bring to this community, and who value YOU. Hang in there!

Comment edited on: 12/13/2012 8:24:23 PM

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NANCYSINATRA 12/12/2012 11:54AM

    Oh Vicky, how sad this post made me feel for you. I think most of us that started over 300 lbs have felt this way during our journey. I have a card taped to my bedroom mirror that says "life is too short to spend it hating your body". I say that OUT LOUD every time that nasty little voice in my head speaks up to say how fat I STILL am. I tell it to shut up, I'm our doing races now. I've lost over 80 lbs. I'm so much more active now, and happier.
So that said, we are hard enough on ourselves, we sure don't need others being hard on us too. Listen to what BIGBROTHER323 said. TALK to your brother and sister in law. I have a mother like them, so I'm sure they're intention is to be helpful, even if it's by being negative, so just let them know it is NOT helping you and I bet anything they will stop.
As for the pictures, find a before picture, look at it side by side with your race picture, and THAT will make you feel better. :) First, you will then be able to see how far you really have come, and second, you are racing!!!!! Would you have thought 5 years ago you'd be out doing a 5K race?? A year ago were you jogging? Look how far you've come!!
And finally Vicky, I just want to say, remember this. a year from now you're going to look back on this race. You're going to be so proud of yourself for getting out and doing it, and that picture will be what it should be, a reminder of your accomplishment!!!

Comment edited on: 12/12/2012 11:59:11 AM

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BIGBROTHER323 12/12/2012 10:28AM

    Ditto Katie below....and the general sense below. AND......

Let me be your big brother...

Sis, you have taken vital steps FOR YOU. BE PROUD. I think your brother needs popped in the nose. May I do it? Or would you rather I hold him down so you can!

Seriously, Swallow hard and say next time.....

"Brother, I believe that what you mean to encourage me, but in fact it is very hurtful. I have come along way, baby. I know I have a long way to go. I don't need you to throw it in my face. Although this time, you may not have meant it, next time you say this, you will mean it, because now you know how those words cut me. If you want to encourage me, say, "Wow, you have worked so hard, and look what you have accomplished! I'm so proud of you. ...AND STOP. You need say nothing else, but I do."

"The fact that I was the biggest one out there on my 5k IS NOT a stigma on me, but a tribute to my courage and strength. Where were all the other big women and men? Running, and exercising and pushing themselves to their limits? No...they were still sitting on their fat derierres' in front of the boob tube, stuffing their guts full of fatty foolish foods and then complaining that they look the way they do. They didn't even have the boldness to cheer someone else on. In contrast, I'm the one who is making my changes, and though, yes, I am still somewhat embarrassed that I look the way I do, I know that my day is coming when I won't. Fact is, I look better than I did last month, and I can't wait to see next month's results. I am proud of who I am and proud of whom I am becoming. I'm stronger with everyday, so you can find someone else to crap on, because I ain't collecting refuse....not mine, and definitely not yours.

So, sis, grab your compact and say this in the mirror 3 times daily, until it becomes natural.....then at the right moment....you'll have said it to your brother without having given it a second thought. Stop, Turn, chest out, head high and walk out the door, go to the store and buy yo self somethin' sexy, cuz you earned it!

When you return, act like nothing happened at all. Spend time with them and love them.

Visit my page...and if you want to know more about me...email Carbjunkie, or suze, prizm, mcjarvie, stillwaters, and any mustang....whatever you do, don't ask Kal! hehehehe

Come join the BLC21 Registrations now.

Comment edited on: 12/12/2012 10:39:59 AM

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PRIZM96 12/12/2012 10:01AM

    First of all....... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon on finishing that 5K! Wow! You are a ROCKSTAR!! Be proud and OWN it, Girl! :-)

Pictures are stupid. LOL I mean, sure they capture the memories and all that other feel-good stuff, but they also sometimes only capture a split second of time. Literally and figuratively. See, the pictures of the race on Dec 1st, is only a "split second" of your entire weightloss/getting healthy journey. A stop along the way.
You are so much more than those pictures. Think about how great you felt and how proud of YOU you were! That's the stuff that is priceless!

As far as your family goes....... *sigh* I have learned a little during my own journey. There was a time once when comments like that would hurt me to the core and I wouldn' t even think about saying anything back. Like I "derserved" it or something. But here's the truth. Noone deserves to hear that kind of stuff. NOONE has the right to talk to anyone like that. Noone. Along with all of this getting healthy and losing weight stuff, has to come confidence. Have the confidence to confront them.
If you're the type of person or family that can ask them nicely to not mention it again or tell them how it makes you feel, then great! Do it!

But, if you're family is a little more like mine, I would go with more of a HEALTHYASHLEY approach..... blunt honesty. Or my favorite...... sarcasm! :-) Once something negative comes out of their mouth, a simple "Oh, that's helpful" remark should get them quiet. Or anything along these lines:

"Do I speak to you like that about your flaws?"
"When did I hire you to be my personal life coach?"
"Do you talk to everyone this way or am I just the lucky one?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I had asked for your opinion."
"I've lost 60 lbs, dammit! And proud of it!"

Hehehehehe You get the idea, right? :-) All said with a smile.

I'm not a negative person, by far, but standing up for yourself is HUGE. And it's sooooo rewarding. Respect yourself and pretty soon, you'll be receiving the respect you deserve from others as well.

emoticon to you cause YOU deserve it! :-)

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MARY0001 12/12/2012 9:31AM

    You have lost 60+ pounds. It's an amazing accomplishment and you need to be proud of that... and you are doing races, too! You have come so very far and undoubtedly people who know you are seeing the difference and how much progress you have made. Stay positive and let the reality of what you have accomlished make you strong so you don't let a few unflattering photos pull you down. We are always more critical of photos of ourselves than others are.

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CRESHA20 12/12/2012 7:52AM

    You have gotten some great advice from everyone who has commented. I will say, "Take it from someone who has lost at the most 50 pounds and couldn't see the difference." Everytime I looked in the mirror I kept seeing every lump and bump on my body. I knew in my mind and on the scale and even from my clothes that I was smaller, but my eyes just wouldn't show me. I finally gained the weight back and have reached my highest weight. Weightloss is a journey with many struggles along the way. Don't let anyone diminish what you have accomplished thus far. Sixty pounds is a great accomplishment, and I am so sorry that your pictures didn't turn out the way you wanted them to. I believe a lot of us have a struggle with not looking the way we think we should in pictures. It can easily defeat you, but I hope you do not let this keep you down.

As for the dread with going home for Christmas, I can definitely relate. My mom is concerned about my weight b/c I am having trouble conceiving, so she worries about me a lot. If I am successful, she is very happy, but I think a lot of it is guilt that she feels it's her fault that I'm overweight, well morbidly obese. Really as an adult, it's up to me to make the changes. I asked her one day if she would love me any less if I didn't come home smaller, and she said of course not. I had to deal with others who aren't family members making wisecracks about my weight. I just choose not to see those people.

No one can tell you how much weight you should be losing at any given time because everyone's weightloss is different. Keep on doing what you're doing and pretty soon your picture will be the same for you all around.
And another thing: You totally rock doing these 5Ks. I can barely walk a mile on my treadmill without being totally out of breath b/c I have slacked off so much with my working out.

Comment edited on: 12/12/2012 7:55:44 AM

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FITNHEALTHYKAL 12/12/2012 6:00AM

    Vicky - You are surrounded by love and support and caring. Can you feel it? Now read every single quote on your background any time that you feel diminished by your family who may mean well but are diminishing all that your chosen family here have helped you build up k? Can you do that for us? OWN it lady! Strut your fine self that has lost SIXTY POUNDS and that is not just some # on a scale; it represents so much more that is so much more meaningful than just a #. Hold onto every word here and take them home with you and hold them close. Hold your head up high and proud sweetie! Do not let judgmental people take away one iota of ALL you have accomplished in losses and GAINS that are HUGE!!!!! You rock!

The family we choose for ourselves is more important than the one we were born into; that people have to earn our respect and trust, not have it handed to them simply because of genetics.

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CHICAT63 12/12/2012 5:09AM

    Vicky, I can honestly so relate to your blog:). We can be our own worst critic, last August when I did my "Tri-A-Tri" and saw the official photos I was ashamed, cried and could not believe what I was seeing too but then my friends who were there to support made me realize the accomplishment I did. So I am doing the same to you....you have done races, you have lost 60 pounds, you train, you have incorporate a new lifestyle and these are major accomplishments. Always look forward and not back. I love your blogs, stay positive, there is always going to be haters. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FITLIKENIC 12/11/2012 11:30PM

    We have a saying we use often in the BLC challenge 'Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes'. YOU are changing, making HUGE strides in your well being, getting fitter, and you've lost 60 + pounds!

Sounds like your family needs to change, show support and PRIDE because YOU are Amazing!

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MGJARVI 12/11/2012 11:21PM

    I think it's appropriate that I was directed to your blog just after reading this quote this afternoon:

" Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow." – Plato

I want to ENCOURAGE you to listen to all of these loving comments from these sparkers. 60 pounds gone, wogging 5ks, overcoming obstacles, fears, you are STRONG!! I think you should tell your family how their (hopefully) well-meaning comments are actually harmful and hurting you to the point of not wanting to come home.

(((HUGS)))

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HEALTHYASHLEY 12/11/2012 11:05PM

    It is shocking to do so much work and still realize you aren't happy with how you look. I can say I did not feel good about how I looked until I lost a 100 lbs. Part of all of this is learning to find self acceptance at each point along the way and if you keep up these 5K's you will continue to look better and better.

Also tell your brother and his wife to grow up and stop acting like bullies. Nobody should have to tolerate that kind of mean behavior, especially from family. I find the direct approach usually works for me. Something along the lines of "why do you feel you have the right to comment on my weight, it is really none of your business. I don't stand here and point out all of your flaws."

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STILLWATERSSB 12/11/2012 10:51PM

    How wonderful that you participated in that 5K at all! I still have the mindset that because I am so big that I can't do it.....you didn't let that stop you. One of those "well-meaning" people told me not too long ago "it's hard when someone big like you (me) have to lose so much for anyone to even notice". Thank you?

I weigh more than you currently do but I refuse to look at just a number on a scale or a picture that captures who I am....I know I've made a lot of non-scale victories. I have deleted more pictures than I care to count or have refused to post them because I'm embarrassed.

When I was younger, my brother used to send me "diets" in the mail. They came on a regular basis to remind me how big I was....as if the mirror didn't reflect this on a daily basis. He was that fit, lean machine who ran every day and didn't have to watch anything that he ate. I felt miserable........nibbled on salads in his presence. Passed on the deserts and hated who I had become. Then, 6 or 7 years passed and I hadn't seen him. In fact, he came to visit me when his oldest child was 6.....this was the first time I had even met my nieces and nephew. What stuck with me during this visit was that my brother no longer ran, and he was no longer lean. In fact, I almost didn't recognize this 400lb man who showed up at me door. My highest weight was 300lbs and I thought "Wow!" I'm sure he was regretting those diets he sent me.

That picture might seem embarrassing to you now.......but, do you have a picture of yourself 60lbs heavier? How fantastic is that, losing 60lbs? And as you continue on your journey, one day you will look at that picture and that picture will become a treasure to you as you realize how far you have come!

There will always be people who will be quick to give "unwanted" advice. You have the choice whether or not to put yourself in that surrounding. My guess is that you don't have to answer to them. In fact, it would be great if you just told them, "dieting or the subject of weight is off limits."

Keep up the good work!

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LUV4CHOCOLATE 12/11/2012 9:18PM

    I can truly relate to how you responded to your pictures and I know it is hard But, you have received some great advice -- you need to focus on the positive. You have lost an AMAZING 60 pounds (that is incredible)!!! You have had some GREAT accomplishments -- including a PR in your last 5K!!! And you are making continual progress. Don't let the pictures or comments from others pull you down -- think about the results you have already seen!!! emoticon

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RACHELBUGSMAMA 12/11/2012 8:42PM

    emoticon Vicky, you have been doing amazingly well! I don't have any other advice other than what has been given already, but just wanted to echo everyone in reminding you how far you have come! You are doing wonderful things for your health. Hang in there!


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RIVERNANNA 12/11/2012 7:18PM

    Vicky, I am so proud of you completing the 5K. It doesn't matter how you did it, you did it!! And losing 60 pounds is so great!

You have made awesome progress that takes determination that many do not have! You are fierce in pursuing your goals, don't let anyone tell you differently.

There can be many reasons why your family is not as supportive as they could be. Do not dwell on that, that is their problem. Do not let them make it yours.

While you are home, remember that SparkPeople and all of your Spark Friends are here.

Enjoy your time with your family and friends.

Smile and be proud, you deserve it!!

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TRUNKJUNK 12/11/2012 6:54PM

    Vicky - Girlfriend you know I'm always here for you. We've talked about this before. I think you need to contact your brother and sister-in law prior to going to home and tell them how you feel and how they can support you. I know they are fit &healthy and a lot of times when people do not suffer from a certain problem they really do not know how to deal with someone who does. So tell them they can support you by
Not mentioning you're overweight
That you haven't lost more weight since you saw them last
Going for a walk with you
Helping you and stop judging you

I know we can be our own worst critic. I've haven't lost as much as you but it's hard for me to see what I have lost. When I look in the mirror I see the same old me, but my clothes do tell a difference but I can't see it. I think you should take your scapebooks that you have chronicled your progress in. Shucks just this last race you accomplished a 5k in under 50 minutes. Sometimes our greatest rewards are not determined by a number on a scale. I know your family loves you. Let them know what you need from them and what you don't want to hear. Trust me they really don't know. I bet this visit home may end up being one of your best ever.

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EVER-HOPEFUL 12/11/2012 5:40PM

    love what can i say,you know i have lost over 140lbs and i still see my self as gianormous.we sometimes see ourselfs as we used to be not as we are now.so what if you look big love.you have an achievement that many people wouldnīt even dream of doing that in my books makes you a great person.so be proud of those photos and what they show.they show a person of great courage and determination to start something and see it through.one day when you are at goal you will look padk at theese phots with differant eyes.those photos for all you know might inspire another person to try and attempt a race.thinking if she(you)can do that so can i.so be proud of who you are and what you achieved and buy a copy of one of the photos and post it here on your spark page to encourage another person to be a brave as you. emoticon

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YESKATIECAN 12/11/2012 5:30PM

    I don't know you but my heart broke for you when I read this blog. We are our own worst critics. We have all taken unsavory pictures and I am sure that is part of the reason we are all here. You have come this far. Don't give up.

When you go home, make sure to have some time away just for you. Maybe go for a walk/jog, do stretches in your room, or encourage the family to do something like a hike or walk together! This way before they can open up with unwanted negativity, you can show them that you are in control.

This is YOUR journey. Don't let this trip you up. I've personally learned that when you stumble, log on here and you have many hands to help you right back up. Now, grab your cell phone and go take some cute pics of yourself. Seriously, you will laugh and feel alot better!

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SUZECOOKS 12/11/2012 5:29PM

    Carbjunkie made me cry with her response. Please read it over and over. I feel your pain and you have reminders here to look inside yourself and be so proud of what you are doing right now, what you have learned and all the support and friends you have made here. You are still here! You are still working on you and living your new lifestyle.

Remember her note. Clip it out and carry it with you when you visit your family and remind yourself :)

"....what I have SEEN from you since I have been on spark...

1. Consistancy
2. Inches lost
3. Pounds lost
4. Lots of smiles
5. Confidence
6. Self worth
7. Price
8. Dedication
9. Determined
10. Happy
...."
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JESSAAMI 12/11/2012 4:38PM

    Hang in there! You are doing great. I think the same things when I see my pictures sometimes too, and I look horrible in about 20-25 pics for every 1 decent pic I get from a race photographer. When I read your blog post, I thought of this article form Runners World a few months ago that made me laugh. http://www.runnersworld.com/fun/im-
headed-big-sur-so-marathonfoto-its

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ROSIEPD 12/11/2012 3:50PM

    You have so much great advice here. And I do completely get what you are saying... you saw yourself much smaller than you look in those photos. You will get to what you see in your head. You are doing SO SO great! 60lbs! That's a huge WOW! And running a 5K in the first place - that isn't even on my radar and you DID IT!

As for your family --- I don't know whether you family's comments are well intentioned or not. It would be very hard for me to hear that. I would also have trouble approaching them about it - why should I have to tell them that their comments are hurtful? It would make me feel defensive at a time I am doing the RIGHT things for myself. Anyone with a conscience would know those comments are not helpful and kind of mean. Jeez Louise, we are all adults. We already know if we are overweight or not. We certainly don't need family and friends we love making comments like "you should have lost more" when you've LOST 60 freaking pounds! I totally get you.

That said, I think part of Sparking is to learn to Love Ourselves, to build our confidence in ourselves, so that we can take the thoughtless or unkind comments of those who are so insecure that they feel the need to bully someone, for what they are - pathetic attempts to make themselves somehow 'better'. If you decide to go, than be strong and proud, because you are doing great. You've accomplished something I hope to. You ARE Beautiful. You ARE Accomplished. You ARE worthy. Never forget it.

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BEBOP4ME 12/11/2012 3:49PM

    Oh! My heart goes out to you. I had to go home for a family wedding and I went home bigger than the last time most of my family saw me and I looked even bigger than I was because I was on steriods to try to control my asthma.

My advice is to call your brother and tell him how you feel ahead of time. Tell him you are working on this but you need his support. If it was so easy to get the weight off fast, everyone of us would do it. And many of us go back to bad eating habits. You are sticking in here and sticking with it. I don't know your brother, but I bet if you called and told him how you are feeling, he would be more supportive of you.

Last, bring a picture of when you were at your heaviest and what you look like now. If you feel down over a comment someone thoughtlessly makes, look at the two pictures and know that you are not a quitter and you have already come so far. You will go all the way, it just takes time!!

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RICHILA 12/11/2012 3:46PM

    emoticon You have gotten some really good advice. emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 12/11/2012 3:43PM

    There is NOTHING to be upset about. You are doing everything you can to improve your life. You will NOT look that way forever, I promise. I still cringe EVERY time I see an "old me" pic. And for those who don't think you've lost enough... FORGET THEM! They have NO idea how hard this and what you've gone through. *HUGS*

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CHOCOHOLIC2276 12/11/2012 3:21PM

    Vicky, first of all huge emoticon

So you're not where you want to be yet, well first part is accept this. Take your CURRENT picture and compare it to your beginning picture. How freaking awesome is that? Do you see a change? You should be proud!!! Don't compare yourself right now to your goal weight or where you think you should be. Worse, where your family thinks you should be. It's not really fair. It will take time and effort BUT you'll get there too!!

As for your family. Some pills can be hard to deal with. Hear what they say and let it go. If you can, then tell them this is going to take time. You're not going to undo years of unhealthy eating in 2 months. You're not going to undo the effects of a sedentary lifestyle in a few months. It ALL takes time.

Be proud of your progress and know- THIS is progress, you're on your way and emoticon

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DIET_FRIEND 12/11/2012 2:59PM

    I think it's great that you ran in the race despite not being the perfect physical fitness poster girl. And shedding 60 pounds is quite an achievement. Keep on doing what you do and the next set of pictures you get will be a bit better.

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SWEETMNTHING 12/11/2012 2:58PM

    I'm sorry the pictures didn't turn out like you hoped. I've lost about 65 lbs yet there are pics that were taken of me over the summer that I don't like. It happens. Just focus on what you HAVE accomplished, 60 lbs is alot, pat yourself on your back. I'm also sorry your family isn't more supportive. It's hard to ignore the hurtfu; comments that you should have done more. Again 60 lbs is alot of weight and it's better than having done nothing at all. This time of year people are gaining weight and the fact that you've lost it and kept it off is a testament to your progress. I hope you are able to go home and see your family. I know it's hard but ignore the comments. MAybe when you are home, making the wiser choices of eating right and exercising they will see that you are trying. If not maybe have a talk with them and explain how their comments are hurting you and making you feel bad about yourself.

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MIRAGE727 12/11/2012 2:55PM

    I can be very in your face at times. So, with love in my heart, here goes.

Most of us have been there. I still have a whole file folder called FAT MONTY! Seriously! I look at them and it motivated me to become what I have become today. It also keeps me strong in maintaining and becoming better than ever.

Honestly, I will congratulate those who come in first at 5Ks, 10K,s and Half Marathons. But I stick around to cheer and support the real winners who FINISH! I was one of them, and, spiritually, will always be one who finished! You're a winner! I just got finished posting a comment to another SparkFriend..."I won't allow ANYONE or ANYTHING hold me back from my dreams and goals!" My sis and mom included!

Oh, and i will be at the finish line when you hit goal! Stay strong, focused, and KNOW you are not alone on this journey!
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BRENDA_G50 12/11/2012 2:53PM

    You have 2 choices:

(1) If you are dreading going home for 2 weeks of torture (because that's what it would be for you if they started in on you), then don't go.

(2) You could call them ahead of time and tell them how you feel by expressing what you did in your blog "I want them to love me for who ever i am and at what ever size i am." Maybe they don't realize how much they are hurting you and if you explain it then maybe they would be willing to back off.

Then based on their response you can decide if wanting to see them is worth it or not.

My heart goes out to you. You sound like you could use a big hug emoticon

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KJELLYBEAN15 12/11/2012 2:46PM

    I am so sorry about the pictures. But let me remind you that you have lost 60 pounds! That is such a huge accomplishment. Don't let some bad pictures take that pride from you.

As far as the family is concerned? I take it you have a pretty decent relationship with them, being how what they say matters to you as it does. With that being said, I can only assume that you could sit down and be totally honest with them? Start by saying to them what you have said just now? Something like:

How you want them to love you for who ever you are and what ever size you are. And how fear of being made to feel bad about yourself made you doubt wanting to go home. Explain how you know they mean well but that it makes you feel bad about yourself. Explain to them that you need them to be supportive of you instead of judging you even if it takes you twice as long as they think it should.

But whenever you need, don't forget that Spark People will always be there for you.



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PSAPPEN 12/11/2012 2:43PM

    I am a blunt person, and I am also a bit non-confrontational. I used to get in all sorts of trouble with the things I would say. I am much more careful now that I am older. Is it possible that your brother and sister in law don't realize how much talking about your weight the way they have in the past hurts your feelings? And hurts your weight loss journey. Have you tried talking to them?

I have never had a problem with pictures taken of me even now at my heaviest. I always think that I will lose this weight and those pictures are just a moment in time, and don't I want to remember that time I made sugar cookies with my daughter and the dough got all sticky and we made faces about the goo in our hands.

If I were you, I would be proud of the day I completed a race. That picture is a moment in time where you are working toward a goal. A goal that is worthy and nothing to be embarrassed of.

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CARBJUNKIE83 12/11/2012 2:40PM

    Oh Vicky! I am so sorry that you feel this way, I know there isn't anything anyone can say to make you feel better. But I will go through and tell you what I have SEEN from you since I have been on spark...

1. Consitancy
2. Inches lost
3. Pounds lost
4. Lots of smiles
5. Confidence
6. Self worth
7. Price
8. Dedication
9. Determined
10. Happy

I know pictures are worth a thousand words but WE are our OWN worst critic. You look AMAZING and have come so far! Nothing about your journey will happen overnight, it's all a process. 60 pounds GONE is HUGE!! I have seen a CHANGE in you since I have known you. Don't let that picture define your progress, you are making AWESOME CHANGES on and off the scale! And for your family, I am sorry they are not very supportive and say nasty things about your weight (SO WRONG). It's so hard to see the ones who we love put us down (even though they are on our side but have no clue on how to help or react). Hang in there girly and keep your head held high! You are BEAUTIFUL inside and OUT! You just keep on doing what you are doing and you will get to your goal!!! Love you and stay strong!! You should go home and prove to everyone that you are still going strong, have not given up and have lost more weight!!! Go show em girl!!!! emoticon

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PATTOMMC3 12/11/2012 2:39PM

    ....you have come such a long way! .....60 pounds gone.....that is AWESOME emoticon!!! Don't let ANYONE tell you different! emoticon

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SQUIRRELLYONE 12/11/2012 2:37PM

    Some people look good when static. I'm not just talking about those skinny ones in magazines. They call it photogenic. I'm not. If you capture only one moment of me, I generally look drunk (I never am) or goofy. My body rarely looks as good as I want it to. You are not static: you are not one moment -- the moment they took these photos. You are moving, growing as a person and working hard to better yourself. One day, you might look at those photos as inspirational, to show not only how far you have come, but how hard you've worked to get there.

Until then, don't focus too much on the photos of your 5k. Instead focus on the fact that you improved your time, and you were brave enough to do it, surrounded by tiny people. Plus, 60lbs lost is no small deal!

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Mayors Race & Hiking!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

I had a 5k on Saturday morning. It was the Dallas Mayor's race. I had a friend that signed me up. She works for a company that was a sponsor for the race so we got to do it for free - just had to wear the company designed shirt...ummm, free shirt and a free race - i'm in! Well, she and i along with two others completed it together. We ran most of the first 1.6 miles and then she hurt her foot. I KNEW we were going to beat my PR but i just didn't know by how much. Even after she hurt her foot, she still walked at a quick pace. SHe is great at pushing my limits in regards to how fast i can walk/jog...i love it! So what was my finish time? Remember, my goal was to complete a 5k in under 50 minutes. And on 12/1 i had completed a 5k with my usual walking buddy and we completed that one in 50.13 minutes. WELL...i completed this 5k in 46.42 minutes!!!!












These awards were ONLY suppose to be given to the kids. BUT they said we ;looked young and they gave us one anyways!



On Sunday I went hiking with some friends at Cedar Ridge Preserve. We completed 7.02 miles in about 4hrs. There were still about 5 trails we hadn't covered but after 4hrs we were exhausted. On top of that, the same friend that hurt her foot during the Mayors race stopped after hiking 2.5 miles. She rested while the rest of us continued the hike. The great thing about these trails is that they are each a certain distance and all end up back at the main starting point. AND each trail is marked easy, moderate or difficult.



































  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVER-HOPEFUL 12/11/2012 5:27PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COXBETH 12/11/2012 5:23PM

    BRILLIANT weekend! I love that feeling you get during a race when you are like, "OMG - it might just happen this time!" And the hike looks gorgeous, as do you. I always look like a hot mess when I'm doing anything athletic - you actually "glow" instead of sweat don't you? :p

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TRUNKJUNK 12/11/2012 3:53PM

    Great job! That hiking trail looks like it takes a lot of maneuvering. I et it was a great workout.

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OLIVIANIGHT 12/11/2012 2:59PM

    Wow, what an improvement! emoticon I wish I could cut my 5K time by that much!

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KROLES55 12/11/2012 1:07PM

    Awesome job.. Congrats on beating your time!

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PRINCESSAMY 12/11/2012 12:55PM

    That is AWESOME!!! I am very proud of you!!!

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Deck the Trails 5k

Monday, December 03, 2012

My Deck the Trails 5k was this past Saturday. This was my 7th 5k this year. My goal was to complete a 5k in under 50 minutes in 2012. My official time for this 5k was...


50.13 minutes!!!!!!

AND i got to take some photo's with Santa!!!!!





Not the most attractive pictures, i know...

My friend and i along the way congratulated this girl taht was lightly jogging most of the 5k. She came in right behind us, but she did amazing! After we talked with her for a while she shared that this was her 1st 5k ever...we high fived her! She did great!


That fanny pack i'm wearing makes me look like i have an added roll...hmmm...dislike!

Here's my walking buddy and i at the end of the race...


I have another 5k this Saturday - it's the Mayor's Race. Then i have the Great Santa Run on 12/15 and the Jingle Bell Run on 12/19.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVER-HOPEFUL 12/6/2012 10:17AM

    i see you got your photo took with santa in the end,lol.great photos,looks like you had a good time. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PRINCESSAMY 12/4/2012 2:52PM

    You ROCK WOMAN!!!!

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CHICAT63 12/4/2012 4:54AM

    emoticon awesome !!!! Keep up the excellent work..... emoticon

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NEWLEAF16 12/3/2012 4:54PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 12/3/2012 4:07PM

    You're going to beat you time ont he next race, I know it! I love meeting up with other runners after the race to congratulate them, it's awesome! You're doing great, keep it up!

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BCB1019 12/3/2012 3:32PM

  Good for you, it's great that you get so many 5k's in, One of my goals for next year is just to be a marathon.

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RAJANIEMI 12/3/2012 3:32PM

    What an amazing feeling, I can see it in your face...
Keep up the great work, I love reading about 5K's.
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Weekend Recap

Monday, November 12, 2012

Not much happened this past weekend. On Saturday i met up with a friend for a 5 mile walk.









Last Sunday was when i went to Turner falls to hike. Well, i got a few pictures from a friend of mine. I kinda like them!











11/7 266.8
11/8 265.4 (body is finally loosening up after that hike on Sunday)
11/9 264.8 - WOOT WOOT!
11/12 264.0 - WOWZERS!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHICAT63 11/13/2012 5:02AM

    emoticon emoticon awesome !!! Great photos of you and your friends and beautiful area for your hike:)

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EVER-HOPEFUL 11/12/2012 2:54PM

    emoticon

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