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VICKYMARIEC's Recent Blog Entries


Monday, May 09, 2011

So here i am...again. I have been terrible to my body and i know it. I've ignored what i know i should have done and be doing. I have no excuses, but here is how my body reacted...

For the last two weeks it's been hard to sleep. When i lay down it feels as though someone is sitting on my chest. I cannot breathe. As though i just have a very small pinhole in which air can escape and come into. I have to fluff pillows behind me so that i'm in almost a sitting position. Sometimes that doesn't even work. So i resorted to heartburn meds - once it was figured out that was what it was. Do you know what gets rid of heartburn naturally? Exercise (losing weight), not drinking soda, not eating greasy foods...but what did i do? I drank soda after soda and ate nothing but greasy fast foods for the past 2 months.

My last few blogs have been about making a comeback...yet here i am again. I need to take one step at a time. So today i'm eating within my calories. Next week i'll start exercising again. Not crazy, no one can do this much and work and still find time to sleep exercise. But exercise to help me get healthy and drop the weight.

I'm moving this weekend so my scale is packed. I probably did it on purpose so that i don't see the number. On March 17th i weighed in at 290lbs. April 13 i weighted 295.8. I saw the scale about 3 weeks ago at 304...I AM SURE i am back up to about 310 or so. So i'm starting my weight scale over at 318...

This weekend i spoke with a friend and i told her i had an eating issue. I love to stuff my body with food. I can feel when i'm full...but i keep eating. When i leave to go to the store i stop at the local donut shop and pick up treats for the ride and throw away the evidence before i get home...but really the evidence is shown by the weight i've put back on my body.

Yesterday alone i stopped at the donut shop and picked up 2 crullers, 12 glazed donut holes, 6 sausage buns (think pigs in a blanket),and an apple fritter. I ate it myself...

I cannot keep destroying my body. I need to get off all of these meds...high blood pressure and heartburn...i need to live like a 34yr old should live. I need to not worry that i make choke myself to death trying to sleep.

So today starts Day 1...again

I'm not ashamed of that fact. I'm embracing it and moving forward.

I've already had breakfast and lunch and i'm at 580cals. My range in 1610 to 2310 so i have plenty to spare. I have my SeaWorld 64oz jug and i think it's almost empty. I feel good...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2FUN2B_LAZY 5/10/2011 10:10PM

    Ok, this sounds nuts, BUT I'm on day 2 of eating clean (google it for more information if needed) and I love it! I never knew how easy it was.. I have 6 small meals a day and I don't feel hungry at all. It's perfect! I weighed in this morning with a 1-2 lb. loss.. but my official weigh in isn't for another week or so. I definitely recommend looking into it! =)
Good luck -- it's great to see you back!

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NEWSGIRL2177 5/9/2011 8:42PM

    I've been struggling lately, too.
I'm glad you're back and I hope you keep pushing forward. You can do this!

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CAN_DO73 5/9/2011 3:55PM

    I was excited to see you had a new blog - I have always enjoyed reading them :)

I'm glad that you're back and ready to be nicer to yourself again. I really believe that we have to expect setbacks (because they happen to all of us) but it's that 'turn around' time that is really important and you did that fast!! You could have gone years before coming back but here you are a mere few weeks later. Nice job!

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BEINGGUIDED 5/9/2011 3:53PM

    Don't worry about starting again... It is the "never started back again" that you need to worry about. Start over as many times as you need to, just never stay stopped.
Things will happen for you. It took me about two years to really get grooving and moving. You will find your niche. The time will come that you will look back and won't believe how far you have come. Just keep trying, no matter how many times you "pause"... just keep starting again. That is all that matters.

Comment edited on: 5/9/2011 3:54:27 PM

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AMBERD21 5/9/2011 2:26PM

    good job!! I seem to be having a hard time right now too! We can do it together!!

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KIYOSHI04 5/9/2011 2:07PM

    glad you feel good.

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What 290 means to me?

Friday, March 18, 2011

So what does being 290 mean to me?

It means:
- i have lost 28.8lbs
- i am one step closer to being in obeseland
- i am almost at my first 10% loss
- i can move a little easier

So what now?

- i'm thinking about taking up cycling
- i'm just 20ish pounds away from 50
- at 50lbs lost i'm buying a boxing bag and PINK gloves

Here's the thing...

I think i have friends that don't like the weight loss. That are almost waiting for me to fail and walk away. What do i do about them?

Happy at 290! Can't wait for 280!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEMORIESOF2011 3/19/2011 1:00PM

You are conquering the world, one pound at a time! Don't let ANYbody take you down; if you have someone around you that can't be supportive, they don't belong in your life anymore! You deserve the moon, stars, and then some simply for waking up every day and giving it your best shot. I am SO proud of you, and those goals of yours will be met in no time! Way to go hun, keep it up!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Congratulations on your progress! I further endorse what Wolfkitty says, when people react strangely to your progress, your fitness, your food, your excitement, etc. it isn't about you and your progress. It isn't about them not being happy for your victories. It is about what is inside of them, and how they feel about themselves and their own health/fitness/food issues that fuels them to not be able to be supportive for you at that moment.

So as Tailschris says - make it happen. shock everyone. In that effort you will have achieved your goals, been supportive of yourself (just like you are above with this blog post and many more to come) and some may realize that they can do it too. =)

Great job!

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CALIKIKI 3/18/2011 11:50PM

    You do not need to tell anyone anything. This is your journey, on your time table and with your strength. Ignire the nay sayers and focus on you. If they make comments, ask why it is important to them, or just thank them for their support/concern/criticism/ and make it part of your strength. Let nothing stop you or slow you down!

By the way, WAY TO GO! YAY YOU!

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    Congrats on your awesome loss!!!! I love your 50 lbs reward. You will get there in no time and I can't wait to see a pic of you wearing your pink gloves after an great workout. As far as the haters, you just need to shake them off. I heard that burns tons of calories, lol. Also, if they are truly your friends, they will come around. It just might take them some time. Just remember this is about them in their insecurities, not yours.


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PROMISE2DESIGN 3/18/2011 3:03PM

    Those who matter, don't mind and those who mind, DON'T MATTER! emoticon

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XIMERAGREY 3/18/2011 1:56PM

    Sometimes friends aren't forever friends. For example, you may have friends that you work with that you see outside of work as well... but when you leave the job, they fade from your life. Sad, but reality.

These friends may be the same type. They may not be able to be your friend when you lose weight. *You* will be different. They won't. That's not bad; it's just reality.

Do what's right for you. You'll find new friends who support your choices and lifestyle.

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WOLFKITTY 3/18/2011 11:31AM

    For 3 years I only posted about my weight loss victories here on SparkPeople! And it's only been this year that I've been doing things like letting the iPhone fitness apps post on my Facebook page.

When I first started losing weight, all of the people I know had WEIRDO reactions!! Then I lost 100 pounds, and they were all strangely supportive, but some of them were still strange. Sometimes they feel inadequate, because of their own weight loss struggles. Or if I eat a food they don't like, they act as if I'm forcing THEM to eat it. It's still odd.

But a few months ago, my mom (lives across the U.S. from me) read The Spark, and my sister started exercising after I visited them. I get more support on my Facebook page now, usually comments about being amazed and such. And I may have grown apart from a few people, but overall my weight loss is not such a big focus anymore. I'm still me, and I'm still their friend. And I don't judge what they do. They know that.

If you grow apart, no big deal. Just remember to keep growing - keep changing and blossoming in YOUR schedule, on YOUR time, doing what's right for YOU! And it's possible some friends will have their own growth spurt later. HEehee.

Definitely try to meet some local Sparkers, too! Just having real life to meet up with occasionally for exercise has really helped me this year!

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CECE0330 3/18/2011 11:07AM

    You may need to take a step back from the friends who are not supportive! Funny thing about losing weight: You go from being the one it's Ok to eat & indulge around to being focused on calories & fitness.....aka not nearly as fun! You need to do this so that you will still be living a healthy, full life in another 20 years! You're making great progress and have a plan. Stick to it, and the people who are true friends will stick by you!

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TAILSCHRIS 3/18/2011 10:46AM

    My favorite quote of all time. . .

make it happen.
shock everyone.

LOVE this!! I would even say when I'm exercising and not into it. . .can I get a amen?!. . .I just chant this quote and it keeps me going!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/18/2011 10:46:58 AM

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NEWSGIRL2177 3/18/2011 10:14AM

    As hard as it is, you just need to focus on what YOU need. Your friends can take it or leave it. You might inspire them at some point, but if they're not on the same page now, don't sweat it. Just keep following your plan!

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CHICAT63 3/18/2011 10:12AM

    Woohoo, way to go ! Hmmm, about the friends if you read my Sparkpage only surround yourself with positive & supporting people around you. If they cannot get with your program, too bad for them (that's my opinion).

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ELAOPET 3/18/2011 10:05AM

    GIRL YOU IGNORE THAT, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO!!!!! AND prove them wrong, of course!

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AUNTIELES53 3/18/2011 9:57AM

    great job :)

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EBIELOU 3/18/2011 9:49AM

    I am going to encourage you with the friend deal. I have friends that did not want to hangout with me because I was on what they liked to call a "health kick." They were very negative n my weightloss journey. Right now though, they are all trying to get healthier now. I"ve been on this journey for a little of a year now and it's taken them this long to see that I just wanted to save my life.

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BEINGGUIDED 3/18/2011 9:11AM

    You get yourself some new friends!

I had a couple overweight friends and it seemed like the better I looked the more distant they got. One was always wanting to go to buffet and I don't think she liked it too much when I asked why our only option for dinner had to be a buffet? I never did end up at a normal restaurant with her.
It is tough because all my friends now, they have never been overweight so when I post about triumphs on my FB (like yesterday I was gushing about my dressroom adventures), they celebrate with me but I don't think they quite understand. Or maybe they don't. I don't know.

You are doing awesome! People don't like change, even if it is good change. Along with your weight loss will come personality changes in you, it is just natural. Your successes may point out their own weaknesses, whatever they may be (not weight related).

You just keep on trucking. Losing this weight is AMAZING! And each lost pounds brings a new aspect of life.

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Stupid people!

Monday, March 14, 2011

So the girl that i play racquetball and tennis with has this guy that she' s friends with. I am 100% convinced that he's into her, i think she's about 90% convinced. Well they text each other all the time. And apparently he always asks how i'm doing and what i've been up to - i should mention that i've met him a few times. She mentions to me on Saturday night that he apologized to her about something and she said she didn't understand why he was apologizing. SO she tells me what he said...He apologized to her because he hadn't gotten to talk to me at all, yet he's talked to some of her other friends. He didn't want her thinking he was ignoring me. So my friend was baffled because she didn't understand what he was saying...but i sure did!

What i heard...what most overweight people that he didn't want her thinking he was a butthole because he hadn't spoken with her fat friend yet. be fair i called a friend of mine that is also overweight and shared with her the exact words that were said to me and i asked her what she thought he meant...she said exactly what i had thought.

I know in our society us fat people get overlooked in a lot of ways. I have MANY guy friends...because they feel i'm safe. I'm great to talk to, hang out with and get advice from...because they would never date me because of my weight. It sucks! But it's also a reality. Most times i'm ok with it because i wouldn't want to date a guy that thought that way anyways. BUT this friend of mine...this guy...he's jerky! AND she invited him to play racquetball with us this Wednesday. Maybe i'll hit the ball into his balls!!!! REVENGE FOR THE FAT PEOPLE! In all honestly i am a little upset about the fact that he's joining us. I could care less about him, but i will give the guy a chance...i guess. I just hope we actually PLAY and they don't stand around and talk. I play so that i can get a good sweat going, burn some calories and get my heart rate up...not to stand around talking. We'll see how it goes.

On another note...on 3/4 i weighed in at i'm at 294.8! I didn't exercise as much as i wanted to but it's my own fault. I have the time after work to do it...i just chose not to. Today my plan is to get on the treadmill and do some intervals...and maybe get in some strength training.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATIE343 3/16/2011 3:50PM

    I have to I agree with the last comment it sounds like he may be into . i am not sure what kind of jerk asks about "friends" friend all the time. I may just be confused. Anyways a jerk is a jerk and just show him what a strong ,powerful women you are.

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    Actually the way I read his comments was that it sounds like he's into YOU not her!! Talking to her about you, apologizing for not talking to you, having her set up a date to play racquetball..

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ELAOPET 3/15/2011 6:23AM

    That is how you know your jerk when you (hear) see one! Don't worrie about him - just do your thing!
It's good news about weight loss! emoticon
I am now learning to be seen as a "normal" person as opposed to a fat person. I promise you I notice big changes!!! Sad, but so true!!! people get treated different based on the looks. I know very, very few people who treat me the same now and when I was fat.

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CELTICMOTOCAT 3/14/2011 9:30PM

    I say, just kick his backside in racquetball....

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VICKYMARIEC 3/14/2011 5:26PM

    HA! I was at 298.6 last week...not 398.6!

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PAULKNUTH 3/14/2011 5:22PM

    Any time you can drop over 100 pounds in a week is a good week. What are you on - the chainsaw diet?

I suggest you forget about that apology thing - you have unsupported preconceived negative beliefs against him which may or may not be valid.

Stay focused - You are on a roll!

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It's FRIDAY, Equipment and Killer Dolphins

Friday, March 04, 2011

Like the smell of Spring in the air, the joy of the weekend (away from work) is almost upon us!

I purchased a new pedometer this week. It's an Omron Go Smart. It tells me the steps, miles, calories burned and minutes of aerobic activity. AND stores up to 7 days of data! $20!

I play racquetball again tonight. The other night we had a blast! We are beginners and just really enjoyed ourselves playing. I got hit with that rubber ball in the back, on the butt, in the neck and on the forehead! So did my friend! We just kept laughing we enjoyed it so much. Playing racquetball...not getting hit.

Tomorrow we play 2 hours of tennis and then heading for the gym for some gym time. She's been training for her half marathon so she purchased a treadmill about a year ago. She did the marathon last Sunday and finished just over 2hrs and 26mins. BUT, she tells me this week that she's tired of seeing the treadmill and wants me to have it...YAY! So i have a friend that has a truck with a lift on it. He's going over tonight to help us get it out of her place and into mine. It feels like Christmas! I'm toying with the idea of buying an elliptical in the next 2 months. Any ideas on a good one? Around $800 is ok...

So i'm willing to share these photos with you...BUT i have a purpose. I want to save you some tears!

I went to Sea World last May. I love dolphins, in fact i have a tattoo of dolphins on my calf. My friend took pictures of me as i was feeding the dolphins. Once i saw her pictures i cried! I've NEVER seen my back fat if you haven't seen yours beware!

Oh - and i think a dolphin tried to eat my hand! That's why you see me freaked out in one of the shots...LOL

See those rolls on my back?! Yes people...we need to worry about those rolls too...sad...

That's the dolphin that tried to eat me!

Look at all those vicious teeth! MONSTER! hahaha

ATTRACTIVE! Look at that face! hahaha...i was terrified...

Where's my neck? I can't wait for it to come out of hiding!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VICKYMARIEC 3/9/2011 11:37PM

    Memoriesof2011...its a point game. BUT my friend and i play until we're tired. It's a great game to play to work your arms, legs and to burn a ton of calories!

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MEMORIESOF2011 3/9/2011 5:39PM

    You are adorable! I have also seen my back fat, it's scary. We will say goodbye to it soon enough though. The Dolphin adventure must have been a blast, even if the one was after ya.

I have never tried racquetball, but it sounds like it would be a great time. Is it a point game or "play until you're tired" kind of game?

Hope your week is going well, talk to ya soon!

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BAM0827 3/4/2011 3:55PM

    Great news all the way around! Your new sport, tennis tomorrow and a new treadmill! How generous of your friend!

Some good "before pics" - I'm looking forward to "during" and "after" ones!

Have a great weekend

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Monday, February 28, 2011

So i went to the park to walk. Each lap is 1.25miles. I planned on doing 4 laps for 5 miles...I forgot about that beastly hill! For about 0.25 miles you are walking uphill at a pretty steep incline. Needless to say i only did 2 laps for 2.5 miles. Next time i will conquer that hill 4 times!!!

My heart and passion is very much like my eyes...just like my eyes are sometimes hungrier than my stomach, sometimes i want to walk a whole lot more than i'm able to. Next time dear time

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELAOPET 3/1/2011 1:45PM

    Yes ma'am! I'm here to vitnes you'll get that 4 and a whole lot more - keep pressing, keep WANTING, keep sweating - soon, so very soon, you'll be taking it to the bank! I was where you are last year. We grow when we do not give up!!!!!!!

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BERRIMOUSE 2/28/2011 11:03PM

    emoticon with that positive attitude

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GLASSPAK22 2/28/2011 10:54PM

    What a great attitude. emoticon Keep up to good work.

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