VICKYMARIEC   54,485
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VICKYMARIEC's Recent Blog Entries

What's been going on in September, you ask?

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Well, this past weekend was a busy one.

I guess i may actually need to back up to Friday night, which is 8/31...

You see, i was bored at home, sooooo...

I decided to get out the makeup and have a little fun...



On Sunday a friend had a pool party and turkey fry at her place. It was about 105 degrees here so the cool water and endless supply of fruity alcoholic beverages she kept handing me made for a most amazing day!









What was in my drink?

It was rum, banana liquor and tropicana orange juice/pineapple juice mix. SOOOOOO YUMMY!

On Monday I held a Labor Thanksgiving Day at my 1 bedroom apartment for 21 of my friends.











Fitness wise, what did i do?

Nothing.

I needed a break.

So i took one.

I did get up this morning and completed 3 miles. I won't lie - it HURT. I felt like i had taken months off from working out.

My goal for september are to:
* complete 100 walking/jogging/running miles
* end my weight at 252.8lbs
* complete my 5k in under 50 minutes

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STLADEE 9/8/2012 9:11PM

    WOW 21 friends! That's great! I can't even get my 5 friends to show up at things at my house! Looks like you had a wonderful Labor day weekend. Sometimes we need to take a break but get right back on it and you did!



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MARYONAMISSION 9/7/2012 2:45PM

    That make-up job is amazing! I wish I was that creative. Lol, labor/Thanksgiving. Interesting theme. Looks like everyone had a great time.

Comment edited on: 9/7/2012 2:48:19 PM

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PRINCESSAMY 9/5/2012 10:37AM

    I love the make up. Its a freaky pic.

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SUKIE40 9/5/2012 10:23AM

    Wow...great pics, thanks for sharing. You are truly blessed to have so many friends! Love the makeup!! lol

-Sue emoticon

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CINDYBEL 9/5/2012 9:59AM

    Sounds like you had a great weekend. Sometimes we just need a break. emoticon

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How did August End for Me?

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

I ended August at 1193.66 miles out of 1500 for the year.

I ended at 264.8lbs, which is a 54.2lb loss.

I ended the month and wanted a break!

Actually, i needed a break.

I push myself hard...maybe a little too hard.

So what happened after August 31st? well...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRINCESSAMY 9/5/2012 10:40AM

    emoticon

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TJCADDO 9/5/2012 9:53AM

    Well.... What did happen after August 31st?

emoticon on your amazing weight loss emoticon

We all need a break sometimes! emoticon

Nan

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BIGDOG18 9/5/2012 9:42AM

  emoticon

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September Goals & Halloween Costume!

Friday, August 31, 2012

August is not over yet, so i will blog about what i accomplished after today.

I tried to start a challenge in one of the private teams i'm on but i had no takers. So i extended the invite out to a bunch of my personal friends and i have 14 girls doing it.

Here's what it is basically...

Hey peeps! We're coming up on the last quarter of 2012. Can you believe we only have 4 months left of 2012? Well I've decided to host another challenge...but not a Biggest Loser Challenge. This challenge is called: Create a New You for the New Year! This is all about weight loss. There's no eliminations. 100% challenging yourself to make and meet your personal goal you've made for yourself. So how does this work? Tell me your current weight, and your goal weight for December 31st.

We will begin September 1st. Then you'll just send me your weight on the following dates: 10/8, 10/31, 11/22, 12/25 and 12/31. Each month I will give you a fitness challenge...just to keep you going. If you're in let me know by 8/30 and send me your current weight and goal weight. No one will see your weight but me.

So who's in?


TEMPLATE:
9/1: Starting Weight: XXX
1/1/13: Goal Weight: XXX

Create a New You for the New Year!
9/1 Schools' in Session! Weight:XXX
10/8 Ahoy Matey! Weight:XXX
10/31 Creatures of the Dark! Weight:XXX
11/22 Gobble Gobble! Weight:XXX
12/25 All I Want for Christmas is...! Weight:XXX
1/1/13 New Year-New You! Weight:XXX

SOOOO...

My goal by 1/1/13 is to be at 219 - a 100lb loss! My September starting weight should be right around 262ish, but i'll find out how i ended August tomorrow morning. But i should have around 43lbs to lose in 120 days. That means i'm looking to lose 10.75lbs a month for the next 4 months. VERY doable.

September 2012 Goals!
* Lose 10.75lbs
* Complete 100 walking/jogging/running Miles
* complete my Race for the Cure 5k on 9/29 in under 50 minutes

NEW SIZES!
So, i blogged about a week ago about how i can not fit into size 20 jeans. Well, i hit up Avenue two nights ago and their athletic Capri's were on sale for $9.96 a pair. I started out at a 22/24 a few months ago, and about a month ago bought some 18/20. They didn't have any 18/20's so i picked up a few pairs of 14/16 for the upcoming months! I was kind of excited at just the thought of being able to fit into them in the next few months. Don't get me wrong - i know they are stretch pants but that still means i went down a few sizes for that TYPE of clothing! So you negative people - just keep your trap shut. My jeans are my true test of going down in size, but its still fun for the other clothing as well.

When i held them up all i thought was that they were so tiny...then i thought, "OMG! That means at some point my large ass should be tiny!" Oh ya!!!

HALLOWEEN!!!

I love Halloween. I always have. I haven't celebrated Halloween since my exhusband left in Oct. 2007. Last year was the first time i went with a friend trick or treating for her daughter. But this year i'm in full gear and already planning my costume. I'm making it but i wanted to show you all what it's basically going to look like...

Here's my inspiration:


As you can tell from the picture it's a witch. BUT i'm not going as a witch. I'm going as a renegade dark angel.

So i bought this from Torrid and i should receive it in the next two weeks...my top

I will change out the ribbon for something dark gray

Instead of the orange and black tulle skirt, i'll make mine in various shades of grey...like this but long like the original picture (short in front and floor length in back)


I'll wear black combat boots with ripped panty hose...

I'll have this with me...


My make up will be a cross between these two...


And i'm considering making wings like this...


SO basically i'm making my own skirt and wings. Everything else i'm either buying or already have around the house.

I'm excited!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRINCESSAMY 9/5/2012 10:17AM

    emoticon

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LIZANNMARIE 9/5/2012 4:51AM

    I'm just found your page love it! Challenge sounds good.

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TORTILLAFLATS 8/31/2012 11:04PM

    Well, my friend, I can't wait to see a picture with you in it!

Hugs, Gail

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NANCYSINATRA 8/31/2012 4:04PM

    Love the costume. I'm a halloween fanatic myself. You should check out my wedding picture on my spark page. LOL.
I love your challenge idea, but I am not going to participate. I do not do well with having a weight goal by a certain date. Heck, I don't even have a final weight goal yet. :) Good luck to you though. :)

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THOMS1 8/31/2012 3:15PM

    CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT! tHIS SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT CHALLANGE I MAY JUST HAVE TO JOIN YOU.

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YELLOWDAHLIA 8/31/2012 2:35PM

    LOVE your costume idea!!! Please post some photos when you get it all together!

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RICHILA 8/31/2012 2:25PM

    I can't wait to see your wings!
I want to join your challenge. I am still losing inches but I want to kick start the weight loss.

Comment edited on: 8/31/2012 2:36:57 PM

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SKINICOOK 8/31/2012 1:46PM

    The costume ideas look great. You'll look HOT! It's a huge motivator to lose the weight. Best of luck with it!

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August 20th - 28th - Was i MIA?

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I have not been MIA from my fitness. I've just been busy with being in Chicago and then in Phoenix for a week each trip. But here's a rundown of what i've been doing...

August 20th
4.48 miles & ST

August 22nd
4.54 miles

August 23rd
6.58 miles

August 24th
9.97 miles

August 27th
ST & Core

August 28th
6 miles


Here's just a few pictures from my Phoenix trip...

It was a work event, so i had a little time where i lounged at the pool and walked the grounds of the hotel.













Then i FINALLY had pool time. A friend and i hit up the lazy river. We were bouncing around on inner tubes and she accidentally spilled some of her drink on my head...lol











It's monsoon season in Phoenix so it started pouring, As we were heading inside i took this quick picture. It felt like we were on Survivor Island!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRINCESSAMY 9/5/2012 10:26AM

    emoticon

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CHANGINGSAM 8/30/2012 8:11AM

    Way to go on sticking with your workouts while away! That's tough. Great photos!

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MARYONAMISSION 8/29/2012 3:39PM

    Awesome pictures, you look so happy and like you're having lots of fun. Lol, I can't believe the drink spilled on your head. This makes me laugh everytime I think about it. Great job with being consistent and not MIA.
So when are you coming to Chicago again. We should get together!

Comment edited on: 8/29/2012 3:42:17 PM

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NOT a weight loss blog today...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Today i need to just type...i need to type what i'm thinking and feeling to just get it off of my chest.

It's about a boy...

First, some back-story...

I was with my exhusband for almost 10 years. We met in college and after he continuously asked me out for two weeks i said yes. Why didn't i say yes right away? Because he had a bad attitude and i knew it. We went on our first date and he made sexual comments...red flags everywhere! I told him i did NOT want to go on another date. He pursued me for over 2 months after that...i was lonely and loved the attention. So we went out again...and again...

I knew he did not 100% love me. But i was so lonely i didn't want to let him go. I feared being alone and unloved. So when he asked me to marry him (which was in a very disappointing way - i thought he was just joking and being sarcastic) i said yes. He always compared me to other, thinner women. He once even told me that he wished i were skinny so that he's know what that felt like. He even told me that he wished i were beautiful. We were together a total of 10 years before he got back together with his highschool sweetheart - the one he said he always loved.

So...

i guarded my heart. I stopped caring. It's been four years since the divorce and i have not been ready to open the doors to my heart for fear of being trampled on again.

But somewhere along the way someone secretly nudged those doors open. I've denied it for MONTHS...maybe even for two years...but there's no denying it now...i care for someone and my heart aches over it...I've cried about it...why? Because i'm just a friend to him...

I met him almost 3 years ago and we've been building a great friendship. He trusts me completely - having told me his entire life story, including why his exwife left him, his struggles and his weaknesses. I've been the one he talks to when he doesn't know how to approach a woman, who he talks to when he is interested in someone new...the man is a serial "liker" of women...but it's never been me. He's never once treated me in any other way but a friend. And it's hurting me.

After i came back from Chicago my loneliness was amplified! He and i had a few discussions about the possibilities of us sleeping together. How do we go from "just" friends to sex? Easy...friends that have sex with no strings attached. We've talked about it twice...each time either he or i said no. My reasoning for saying no...well what i told him was that if we ever did get physical it would be when he was NOT buzzed. His reason for saying no...he simply said he did not have a good reason not to, but he still said no. I'm glad we never slept together...truth is i want more from him.

I want to be that damn woman he chases after. I want to be the one that he holds hands with. I want to be that one...

Truth is i'm also terrified...

I don't want to get hurt. I don't want my heart broken again. Truth is my heart is breaking now...and he doesn't even realize it...

i've been good at not letting anyone in...but dammit i didn't see this coming...

I'm just his friend...

and then that voice in my head starts talking to me...and i wish she were right in front of me so that i could bash her head in!

she knows what to say to hurt me more than anyone else ever could...

she tells me i'm too fat to ever be loved

she tells me i'm too ugly...why would ANYONE ever want me

she tells me i deserve to be alone

she tells me that i will die alone and lonely

she tells me that i'm not good enough

MOST of the time i can shut her up...but sometimes i hear her words as truth...

We're friends...and that's all...but how do i continue being just a friend to him when i clearly want more?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RICHILA 8/31/2012 2:55PM

    emoticon I don't have any real advice, but I can tell you that finding the man who loves you and always finds you beautiful is worth the wait. I have never been thin, but I am back at the weight I was when my husband met me and asked me to marry him-over 22 years ago. My husband tells me I am beautiful and has believed it for me when I couldn't believe it for myself. emoticon
(My mother was that voice-she actually told me the week before my wedding that my soon to be husband would leave me if I didn't lose weight.)

Comment edited on: 8/31/2012 2:59:24 PM

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WRITEWAY73 8/30/2012 2:58PM

    I feel your confusion. I hope he opens his eyes and sees the beauty right in front of him. Much love. Stay strong.

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BIZZ27 8/30/2012 1:01PM

    I have to tell you, I've been there!!!!
I met this guy a couple of years back, we became amazing friends... Then one day, I joked around about sleeping with him, and we ended up doing just that. It was turning my world apart, so I decided to be honest about it, and I told him the truth. I believe my exact words were "If we keep doing this, I'm going to end up falling in love with you, so if you're not ready for that, then we need to take a step back". His response was NOT what I had expected because I had that same b***h inside my head telling me a hot guy like him would NEVER want a life with me, especially since I have 3 children. His answer was "Who said the same wasn't happening to me??". From that day on, we were a couple. That was 2 1/2 years ago, and we are still going as strong as ever!! He made her disappear! She is no longer in my head because he understands me, he makes me feel good about myself and no matter how much my body changes, he still tells me everyday how much he loves me.
Don't think that just because he isn't showing it, that he isn't having the same feelings. Men can be very emotional as well, they're just as good as we are at hiding it. Honesty is ALWAYS the best answer to any situation...

Good luck!!!!

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ANGELWENDYMAMA 8/29/2012 1:07AM

    Thanks for opening up and sharing about this.. I don't have a good answer, but I have had relationships go from friendship to sexual relationships.. that happened with my first husband.. We were mostly afraid of losing our friendship, but it did deepen for the 12 years we were together. (well, until the end, that is)..

You might consider counseling about the inner voices because that is damage from your first husband, I think..

Be open to meeting other people, too..Just love yourself and you will find the one.

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FROGGYFROGERSON 8/28/2012 1:04PM

    emoticon

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AUNTIELES53 8/28/2012 12:44PM

    boy do i know how you feel mine is a little worse because he flirts with me and talks about being together when he is single but when he is not single anymore i am nothing put a text every 2 months if i am lucky... he knows how i feel about him and he still trys to say we are just friends and if that is the case why do you flirt with me and wanna be with me when you have no one else. makes me feel very unwanted and used. I agree you need to tell him it will be harder then ever to move on but you will know if he really wants you or not and if not then you can do better :)

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CHOCOHOLIC2276 8/28/2012 12:44PM

    I read your blog and there were some parts in there I could have written myself. My take is you should talk to him. I don't think the friends with benefits is a good idea because you are in love with him. It might end up hurting you more in the end. Talk to him. If he feels the same do a happy dance:) If he doesn't then you will have to decide if you can still be friends with him. Is it better to hurt in silence like you are now or face it and move forward whatever his response is.
As for these, with my answers to that voice

she tells me i'm too fat to ever be loved- there are women that are 400+ lbs who are married; weight has nothing to do with being loved

she tells me i'm too ugly...why would ANYONE ever want me- have you seen that cute pic of yourself? You are beautiful:)

she tells me i deserve to be alone- no one deserves to be alone. We go through it and sometimes not by choice but it gives us the opportunity to really love who we are.

she tells me that i will die alone and lonely- can you be happy and single? I think this has always been a thought in the back of my head. When I realized if I am alone, so what? Can I still be happy? Heck yeah!

she tells me that i'm not good enough - Not good enough for what? to be loved? There's no special skill required. Just the right person
emoticon

Huge hugs- when you hear that voice - talk back to it. emoticon

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LADYJ6942 8/28/2012 12:33PM

    You need to tell him how you feel. I too had some rough experiences, nothing that bad, but was used and after my divorce I didn't date for 3 years. I had a few dates last year with a few nice guys but they all got to a point where they wanted benefits with out being committed which I was against. I waited it out, had strong feelings for a friend who was with someone else. We'd kind of hinted around a bit about our interest in each other but didn't act on it. When she broke it off with him I was the shoulder he cried on and the one he talked to during his toughest time and in the end I'm the one who got him. I've never been happier. Our relationship is friendship not sex based and we are there for each other, really listening. He was treated by his ex's a lot like you were and I'm working to undo that damage. I have my own damage from being teased and rejected but have come to realize those people aren't a part of my life anymore so why am I letting them live rent free in my head, they gotta go.

You can do this, your worth it. You'll find away, don't give up.

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