VICKYMARIEC   51,588
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VICKYMARIEC's Recent Blog Entries

June 7th: Where to start...Where to start...

Friday, June 08, 2012

This Wonder Woman has a WHOLE lot on her mind...



June Goals:
* My ultimate goal this month is to get that bridesmaid dress to zipper up all the way
* Complete 202 miles...completed 46.60

Other Goals:
* Yearly goal of 1500 miles...completed 595.22

Todays Goals: Cardio, CORE

Saturday: 5k, cardio, ST

Sunday: Cardio, ST

Let's start with the easy stuff...yesterday i joined a new Spark Team...The 100 Day Challenge. Basically you commit to working out for 100 consecutive days (unless you get extremely sick or injured or something crazy like that). I kinda fell in love with this idea. I actually took most of the afternoon reading ALL the blogs by Spunkyducky.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id
=SPUNKYDUCKY

You've got to check her out! She real about her struggles, and i love that. So i could have easily counted backwards and said i'm on day 15, but i won't cheat myself!

So June 7th was Day 1 and can i tell you that i just did NOT want to exercise. I went home and just read and watched Friends and had dinner...........and layed on the couch! So here i am, joining this new team that is all about exercising for 100 consecutive days and i did not want to get past day 1! What is my problem?! So i debated and debated...and at 8:30pm i put on my workout clothes and headed to the gym for a 90 minute beat down! So Day 1 was a SUCCESS!!!! Thanks Spunkyducky...it was your freaking voice in my head telling me to get my lazy @ss up!



Tomorrow is my next 5k...another Race for the Cure in Plano, TX. I'm a little more excited this time around for two reasons. 1) I REALLY want to beat my time of 54.33 minutes. And 2) because Sunny, from Biggest Loser season 12 will be out there - and HOPEFULLY other past contestants! I'm not going to even lie - i will be star struck! I'm hoping to come back on Monday with plenty of pictures! Wish me luck Sparkies!



So a few nights ago, i had one of those nights where i just started thinking about my past and my future. I reflected on my hurts and short coming of the past (terrible relationship with the parents, failed marriage, moving away from everyone i knew to work in Texas, bad relationship decisions after the divorce) and then i started thinking about what i wanted in my future. I want to be with family - this does not mean blood family, but includes friends that have become my sisters or brothers - or even parents to me (my parents repeated told me how much they didn't care for me and at this point they have both passed away). I miss just going to my sisters house and playing with the girls (4 girls). I miss bbqing at my brothers house and just sitting around the patio table talking and laughing about things we did when we were kids. I miss laughing and hanging out with my kid brother and his wife. Sure, i have some pretty cool friends here in Texas...but it' snot the same. And to be fair, i'm not sure if after living here for 3 years i've given it much time. BUT i have decided that come Thanksgiving 2013 I want to move back to Chicago to be closer to my family! I cannot even tell you how much that warms my heart and makes my eyes misty. I've asked so many ladies in my life to start praying about it - you see, i won't move unless God opens that door for me. I just won't. I moved to Texas because everything was pointing for me to leave Chicago and it was truly a God thing. So if you pray, I will ask that you say a prayer for me. This girl wants to move back home!



So while i was reflecting on my past and thinking about my future, i also thought about what it is that i want now. And a few things, and they are typically always the same things for me, are that i want to be thought about, i want to be special to someone, I want to be important enough to care about (BTW, this is usually my thought process once a month - can you figure out why?LOL). So isn't it funny how sometimes God says, "you need to just shut up and open your ears and your eyes and see what is going on around you." My own words obviously...but since then an old friend, he and my kid brother were best friends since kindergarten and late on he and i became close. He married about 2 or so years ago to a beautiful woman, well he's been calling me - for whatever reason we keep playing phone tag. He lives in California and my guess is he calls when he gets off from work which is usually when i'm at the gym. We haven't been able to actually connect yet, but it's nice to know that he's reaching out and thinking about me. See how God works.

THEN just a little while ago i was catching up on my Spark blog reading and i came across a new blog by NISHIYO.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id
=NISHIYO

In her blog she mentions me...me! She saw my motivational weight loss jars and wanted to make one of her own. Due to a spinal injury she can no longer feel or use her hands very well - from some of the things i read about her, she used to craft a great deal - but that blog of mine inspired her. So she set out to make her own weight loss jars. It took her about 2 hours but she did it! TO me that was a great NSV for her! And i was so touched that my little blog inspired her to even think about trying to get crafty and here she went and made a beautiful jar for herself! It touched me and brought tears to my eyes...why? Because for a split second, i became a motivation for someone else!



Tomorrow is my weigh in day...i am so close to my 25% loss (of the total that i want to lose). So wish me luck! Not only for the weight loss but for beating my 5k time!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAMIELOGICAL 6/8/2012 7:37PM

    Good luck in your 5k. I'm super jealous you might get to see/meet Sunny from TBL. She and her Dad were two of my favorite contestants ever!

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HEALTHYOTTER 6/8/2012 7:06PM

    From my perspective, committing to 100 straight days of exercise would be intimidating. I'm so impressed you kicked butt, esp at 8:30 at night. Took strength to come to Texas, and will be strength to head back to family. Great, great, great to share the NSV's and inspire the rest of us. Stay strong, stay thoughtful, stay positive. Believe you are worth it. If the weigh in isn't YET at 25%, keep going and it will be!

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ASTRONGNEWME 6/8/2012 2:52PM

    Thanks for mentioning the 100 Day Challenge, because I am trying to hunt down a simple but motivating challenge to get me going again.

When I have had someone tell me I motivated them to do something, I feel just blown away. I look at all of my failures and can't imagine anyone being inspired by me, but it is still an amazing, beautiful feeling to be the helping hand for someone. Great job!

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June 6th: How is beauty found?

Thursday, June 07, 2012



June Goals:
* My ultimate goal this month is to get that bridesmaid dress to zipper up all the way
* Complete 202 miles...completed 37.74
* Yearly goal of 1500 miles...completed 586.36

Today's Goals:
regardless if its pouring rain out, i will go to the gym and complete by treadmill and bike miles. I will also complete my ST circuit.



How is beauty found? Do you stare in the mirror and believe that you are beautiful? Were you raised to believe you are beautiful? Or do others need to tell you that you are beautiful in order for you to believe it?

I have 64 days remaining before i'm in my friends wedding...that makes me a little nervous. I have this bridesmaid dress that i purchased 2 sizes smaller then what i was in April. Currently, it does NOT zipper all the way up. BUT i did try it on last week Friday, and it seemed to zipper up a bit more then it had the two weeks prior (I only have like an other 2 inches to go). So that's a good sign. I just need to stay true to my plan and i'm confident it will fit for the day. I'll try the dress on again on the 15th of June to see where i'm at with it fitting. Since i've purchased my shoes to go with the dress, i'll need to see if i even need to get it hemmed. I may luck out! I found a picture of how i'd like my hair to look for the wedding. She's leaving that up to us and since it's so humid in Chicago in August - and the church is old so there isn't airconditioning - i've decided on an up do...here's the picture of how i'd like my hair to look:





My make-up is another story. I've never been taught how to apply or properly wear makeup. I'm sure in grammar school i looked like a whore (I have pictures of the heavy makeup), and in highschool and beyond i didn't wear much at all. Maybe just some gloss and pencil eyeliner across the top lids. That's all...BUT...i have this scar near my eye and cheek that i'd LOVE to cover up and hide. It's dark...it's old acne scars



This is the thing...i've never really had to look "nice" for something before. I didn't go to prom back in highschool. I've never been on a fancy smancy date - not even when my exhusband and i were dating or married. We got married at city hall and afterwards he went to work (i know red flags were all over the place the entire time we were dating). I've never been to a dance or a party where i had to wear a dress and look good. So for me...this is huge. Really, in my heart it's a milestone...a HUGE moment in my life. I get to dress up. I have a dress - it may not be my favorite, but it is flattering. My hair will be done nicely. And i'll have my sister do my makeup. She has always been beautiful and i cannot wait to allow her to work on me. For me, even though this is my friends wedding, it's my moment to shine. I've never felt beautiful...hell, i've never felt pretty. I don't think i'm hideous, but pretty - certainly not.

So now i've lost a little weight, but i still have plenty to lose, and i'm going to this party where i have the chance to look and feel beautiful. I've placed a lot of stress on myself and this is the first time i'm truly admitting this. I'm not being vain. I just want something i've never had and always wanted. In a blog a few months back, i mentioned how i've never been told i was beautiful (just the dreaded fat girl "you have a pretty face" comment, BLAH). And this event...this event i want to feel beautiful for me. I may not get told that from someone else, but i want to make myself proud. phewww....that was a lot.



NON-SCALE VICTORY!
So this morning i was shaving my legs and i noticed something. When i was looking down at my legs there was this "bump" on the side of my calf. So my other hand went to the "bump" to feel it...YUP i have calf muscles!!!!! I LOVE calf muscles. I see other women walking/running/biking and i see their calf muscles and i'm envious. I think they are truly sexy and i've always wanted to develop my own calf muscles. so Wooooo Hooooooo to me!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_NEW_MELISSA 6/8/2012 9:41AM

    I think you are beautiful. You seem to "glow" in your pictures. I'm not just saying that either, I wouldn't say anything at all if I didn't really feel that way. Hope you take pictures of you all dolled up to show us from the wedding! You're going to look fabulous and feel awesome!

Love your NSV! I envy calf muscles too!

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SPUNKYDUCKY 6/8/2012 12:23AM

    This is a wonderful blog. Full of honesty and hope. Regardless of how the dress fits exactly I am confident that you will feel beautiful that day. I look forward to seeing pictures.

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JAMIELOGICAL 6/7/2012 10:40PM

    First, I just wanted to say that my parents got married at city hall on their lunch break then went back to work. They've been married 36 years and I've never seen two people who love each other so much. So I wouldn't have considered that a red flag in your relationship.

Anyway, sooo not the point of your post. As to the actual point of your post, I can completely sympathize with your never feeling "beautiful". I've never worn make-up. I went decades of my life without owning a dress! I've never had my hair in a fancier style than a pony tail. So I can completely understand why you are seeing this upcoming wedding as an opportunity to try to look and feel beautiful for the first time. I hope you are able to fit into that dress and I hope you feel as awesome as you are!

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NISHIYO 6/7/2012 1:49PM

    I was just browsing through different spark pages and blogs and stopped at yours and I have to say, I loved reading it. I too have to lose a whole person so I can relate. As for the dress! 2 inches in 2 months easy peasy for you! you are out there exercising already. Beauty radiates from inside I believe, when you feel beautiful and confident then you look beautiful and confident. Like you I've had the pretty face comments. In august you will shine, you will fit beautifully in that dress, your hair and make up will be to die for and you will have some sway when you walk down that aisle so proud of yourself and so you should be! emoticon

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June 5th - Buckets of Popcorn! Oh ya!!

Wednesday, June 06, 2012



June Goals:
* My ultimate goal this month is to get that bridesmaid dress to zipper up all the way
* Complete 202 miles...completed 31.74
* Yearly goal of 1500 miles...completed 580.36

last night after work i did NOT work out. At about 3pm i started getting dizzy and light headed. So when i went home i ate dinner (chicken breast and broccoli) and layed on the couch watching Friends...really, is there a better show then Friends? I did go out to see Snow White & the Huntsman...GREAT movie. I must say Kristen what's her name did great in this movie. Usually she's very unemotional, but this was good! Don't get me wrong - she is good in Twilight but it calls for her to be unemotional - which is just how i usually see her in anything - except this movie.

Well...i finally got the shoe pictures downloaded...here they go!





Tonight's goals:
Cardio - lots of it!
Gym ST circuit



So last night at the movie's i ordered a BUCKET popcorn (oh ya!) with butter in between the layers of popcorn and a LARGE Coke Zero. I'm quite proud to say that i shared the popcorn with a friend and at the end of the night - the bucket was still MORE then half full! YAY me! And i think i took like 4 or 6 sips from my Coke. Lots of wasted money - i mean i could have ordered the small of both, but the point is that i didn't gorge out! Back in the day i would have finished both the bucket of popcorn and the large coke and wondered if anyone would notice if i got a refill! YAY for changes happening!



So at the movie i was sitting next to this guy that's a bit newer to my group of friend (he's the one i shared my popcorn with). He's a cutie. But here's the thing...i start to mentally beat myself up when i start thinking about whether or not i would be interested in a guy. I typically dismiss the idea with a , "why would he ever want to date a fat girl like me?" or, "I'm fat, i'll never be more then just a friend." Or, "What do i have to offer him? I mean besides embarrassment?" Yup...those are my thoughts.

BEFORE you all jump all over me - DON'T! These are my blogs and i'm free to say what i feel without someone that doesn't know me - or has at least read through my blogs to know me - tell me that i'm being self destructive. I'm really not. These thoughts that i shared - they are based on my experiences.

Anyways, i shared this tid-bit of information because i read a friends blog earlier this morning and she was down in the dumps. And it got me to thinking that i go through these cycle's where i'm great and life couldn't be better, to those moments where i wonder, "will it ever really matter?" I think these thoughts are common. I think those people that want to tell me that my thoughts about the guy (above) are wrong are lieing to them selves if they even think they've never had that thought at some point. I think EVERY overweight woman has had that thought at one point or another.



Yesterday i was talking to a friend about the shoe's i purchased for this wedding. Most shoe's out there are made for these narrow petite feet. And we both agreed - when in the world will the shoe people get with the times and realize that America is fat?! We need CUTE, STYLISH, shoes that fit our feet! Yes, i know you can get wides - but come on those aren't always easy to find in the shoes you want! Just because we are fat does not mean we can't look good in our clothes!

Anyways...i'm off to save the world!



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAMIELOGICAL 6/6/2012 9:10PM

    I think the self-conscious thoughts you had about that guy are perfectly normal. No one is 100% positive about themselves 100% of the time, especially not overweight women!

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ZELDABEE 6/6/2012 10:37AM

    I love your shoes and I totally agree about the sizes! I think your right, I think everyone has had feelings like that in there life, even if they don't want to admit it to themselves - I still feel insecure about myself and my body and I've been in a relationship for 5 years... That wonderwoman picture is fantastic btw and miss piggy rocks too. Hope you having a good day!

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NURSEWITT03 6/6/2012 10:04AM

    I completely agree with you about the shoes, which are very cute BTW. I still catch myself having those thoughts. It is all about changing your thinking along with all of the body changes. Just remember what my friend told me "The only guy that deserves you is the one that thinks he doesn't".

emoticon

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June 4th: How to Make Weight-loss Motivational Jars!

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

My inner Wonder Woman saved the day!



June Goals:
* My ultimate goal this month is to get that bridesmaid dress to zipper up all the way
* Complete 202 miles...completed 31.74
* Yearly goal of 1500 miles...completed 580.36


I must point out that my arms are looking sleeker...and that extra chin is vanishing. I know the picture, due to its angle, can be deceiving, but it's true! My chins are turning into one normal chin, and my arms are shaping up!

So i did my cardio, squats and core yesterday. Today's goals are: cardio and GYM ST routine. Here's my SMALL problem...i'm going to the movies tonight and must leave by 7pm. I need to get in all of my cardio and ST by then. Otherwise, i'll end up making up for what i lack tonight tomorrow night. And tomorrow night is already packed with a workout. I'm confident i'll get it all in - i haven't failed myself these last few days...Wonder Woman to the rescue!



So i mentioned yesterday that i made those weight loss motivational jars...here's the breakdown of what i did:

Get two identical jars that can hold up to the total number of stones you will be using


I decided to go with animal prints. So one jar is silver (zebra) and the other is gold (giraffe). Cut the ribbon to the length of the circumference of the jars plus a little overlap. Hot glue gun the ribbon to the jars.


Next i made my "signs." I used letter stickers and adhered them to vellum tags. Hot glue gun the tags to the jars.








Then i took some rub-on quotes and rubbed them on. I used a Believe definition and a Hope definition.




Then i added the correct number of stones to each jar. I ADDED 17 pink gems. Each pink represents 10lbs lost - these were in addition to the 170 stones. I have 170lbs to lose (used 170 stones and 17 gems).







Then i thought to myself..."these jars look naked still?" So i went into my ribbon box and found some christmas ribbon - silver beads and a gold rope with gold beads - PERFECTO!







And that's how i made the jars! I won't lie...i think i may add a little more embellishment OR i may make a magnetic animal print board to go along with the animal theme. Something that i can use as a motivation board at home...hmmmm...back to Pinterest because i know i saw something on there where ppl made them out of cookie sheets!

NOTE: Most of my product pieces were bought at Joann Fabrics. BUT i'm sure they could have also been bought at Dollar General - don't over spend! For my next project (the magnet board) i will be hitting up the dollar store for cookie sheets and clothes pins!

So last night after work i had to do a little shopping. NOW, i know i am a woman - BUT i HATE shopping! AND this particular shopping trip had one thing on the "to Get" list...silver shoes for my friends up coming wedding. Now, i do not wear heels ( I know Wonder Woman always wore heels, but this Wonder Woman is over weight and clumsy). So i hit up about four different shoe stores and came up empty handed. I saw all kinds of shoes that were cute - but not Wonder Woman wearable! Then i ended the trip with a visit to DSW Shoes...i roamed up and down EVERY aisle...NOTHING! Then i eyeballed the Clearance section...i thought, "Ya right, what's my luck in finding shoes in there?" The first step into that aisle and i spotted these silver, glittery, THICK heeled, strappy shoes...i thought, "No! Can this really be?" So i took a deep breathe and slipped them on...I was like Cinderella finding her glass slipper! I mean i think fireworks went off, and someone popped a champagne bottle, and cheers were going off. They fit PERFECTLY! I even walked down a few of the aisles with them on...because the heels were thick i was able to easily walk in them...YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I did take pictures but it's taking forever for them to transfer from the phone to my computer...so maybe i'll add them to tomorrows blog.

So Wonder Woman went home happy last night...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANDK156 6/7/2012 12:27PM

    Very crafty and a nice idea!

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NICETOCYOU 6/6/2012 8:07PM

    I saw the jar idea on pinterest, and I still want to make it

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CANDY1023 6/6/2012 9:34AM

    love the idea of he jar i might steal it!!

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YESCURLYCAN 6/6/2012 3:40AM

  Each time I see a picture of you, I can see a difference from the previous one. Way to go! The jars look very pretty and yay, you got shoes. You couldn't be luckier to have found them and in the clearance section to boot! emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/6/2012 3:41:53 AM

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TRACYZABELLE 6/6/2012 3:22AM

    emoticon

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TRACY31502 6/5/2012 7:14PM

    love it!

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ANGELWENDYMAMA 6/5/2012 6:53PM

    Hurray for those silver shoes! I want to see the pix! :) Those are awesome weight loss jars! I think I want to make some, too. :) I'm just afraid my son will play with them. I'll have to seal the tops, too.

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JAMIELOGICAL 6/5/2012 2:01PM

    You have definitely inspired me to make some weight loss jars. I will either make it a project for when I get home from vacation or enlist my parents to help me with them while I'm visiting them this week. It seems like the sort of thing they could get into, so long as I'm willing to admit to my parents how much weight I had to/still have to lose!

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LILLITO 6/5/2012 1:51PM

    hooray for WW!

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June 1st - June 3rd Gotta Keep on Movin'

Monday, June 04, 2012

What a great start to June!



June Goals:
* My ultimate goal this month is to get that bridesmaid dress to zipper up all the way
* Complete 202 miles...completed 27.74
* Yearly goal of 1500 miles...completed 576.36



Friday I completed cardio, core and squats
Saturday I completed cardio, lower body and upper body
Sunday i completed Cardio, lower body and upper body (I know i shouldn't have done this 2 days in a row, but i did)

Today is cardio, core and squats. I have to say that doing squats are so much easier now then they were 2 months ago. If you want to know exactly what i did, my fitness tracker is up to date and can be viewed. Let's just say that I did a lot!



So at the end of May i was sitting back at 279ish pounds...as of this morning i'm 277lbs! I've now (and once again) lost 42lbs. I'm just 0.25 pounds away from losing 25% of what i want to lose! I've also decided that i will...yes i WILL weigh myself every morning. Why? Because mentally, it works for me. When i was just weighing in on the 15th and last day of the month, i had no clear picture of where i was in my weight loss. By seeing the number every morning, i can determine if what i ate the day before was working. I've been eating ham sandwiches with chips for lunches and while calorie wise it's just about 350 calories - the sodium is a killer - even with the low sodium ham. I've switched to turkey meat and it's better but still not great. But this way, i can see the direction the scale is moving and either celebrate or fix what isn't working.



So this weekend i made myself a visual aid. I've seen it on Pinterest, and one of my Sparkbuddies also posted ones she's made...i made my weight loss jars!



Currently there are 128 stones in the "Pounds 2 Lose" jar and 42 stones in the "Pounds Lost" jar. The pink gems are extra. Each pink stone represents 10lbs lost. So there are 13 in the "Pounds 2 Lose" jar and 4 in the "Pounds Lost" jar. I'm looking to lose 169lbs, so 170 stones are in there in total.

I also made the start of my charm bracelet.



So far i just have 3 charms for good luck and the ribbon for breast cancer awareness (I've never had breast cancer, but i support the cause). Once i lose 50lbs i'll add a "50" charm. I'm also looking for a "25" charm, a "sneaker" charm, a "foot print" charm, and a "5k" charm. Then i'll also add on the following charms as i earn them: 75, 100, 125, 150, 169(custom), and a GOAL charm. Since next year i'm doing the 10k, i'll get a "10k" charm if i complete the 10k. The same goes for the half marathon i'd like to complete next March.



Speaking of this half marathon, so far i'm up to jogging 12 minutes out of the 60 minutes i'm on the treadmill! I'm trying to improve my time as well as jog the majority of the hour in preparation for being able to complete the 13.1 miles next year. No one knows i've signed up for these, except you guys. I'm nervous and I don't want the support while i'm out there. Here's the issue...i have 6 to 9 other ppl doing the half marathon. So when they ask me to support them out there, i'll turn them down and i'll get a lot of pressure to cheer them on - especially since i've been their #1 supporter these past 2 years. But next year, i want to feel proud walking/jogging across that finish line. It looks like i start training for the half towards the end of this year. I just need to make sure i can do the minimum before that time arrives.

Tonight's goals:
cardio
core
squats

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAMIELOGICAL 6/5/2012 10:04AM

    You are really kicking butt! That is so awesome. I saw the weight loss jars on a friend's blog and I think they are such a great idea! Once I get back from vacation, maybe I'll hit the craft store and get some stuff to make my own.

Stick to this! It just seems like you are really on the right path right now and it's so awesome!

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VICKYMARIEC 6/5/2012 8:50AM

    I bought most of the stuff from Joann's because i did not like what Michaels had to offer. I found a website where i can get good sterling silver charms for $16-29 a piece.

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COLETTEISGREAT 6/4/2012 6:52PM

    I absolutely love the charm bracelet idea! This would be perfect for my journey! What inspired you to make it, and where did you get your supplies / suggestions (stores, websites, etc)?

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XMAC33 6/4/2012 6:48PM

    emoticon love the jar and stnes idea, might try that myself.

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JANDK156 6/4/2012 5:59PM

    Karendee4 made her own bracelet using supplies she got from Michael's. I'm sure she can give you an idea of what they have there if you ask her. Great goals!

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CALLIKIA 6/4/2012 5:46PM

    One thing, I've read that oft times those "oops" moments don't show up on the scale until two days later. Just remember that when you're weighing once a day that it doesn't always indicate exactly how the day before went. I learned a LOT about my body and weight fluctuations when I was weighing every day and it really helped me to detach myself a bit from the number on the scale because it is just so darn flippy and unpredictable. Love the charm bracelet! Can't wait to see it grow with goal charms!

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QTPIE32387 6/4/2012 5:02PM

    I LOVE the idea of the pounds lost and pounds to lose jar! What a great idea to be able to have a visual!!! I may have to make my own!

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JKPONYGIRL 6/4/2012 4:43PM

    You sound like you are doind so well. I love your charm bracelet!

I weigh myself almost every day too. Just because I am curious. I only log it in once a week though otherwise the line goes up and down and up and down...

Dont worry about who is cheering who during your 1/2 marathon. You can all support each other by just being out there.



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