Sunday, February 27, 2011
This journey, though it has been short so far, is tough! I started Sparking January 5th and it started off great. BUT...somewhere along the way i've completely lost my mojo. I mean every now and then i'd get all gong-ho and write out a plan and say, "this is it!" But after that first time back at it my motivation was overcome with wanting to just lay on the couch watching television or a movie. WHICH always led to eating crappy.
I've been reading many of the blogs of my fellow Sparkers and i've noticed what has and hasn't worked for them. So I thought long and hard and came up with a plan for me.
The picture below makes me so sad. It's funny how when i look in the mirror i don't see all the imperfections, but seeing my self in a picture and i instantly go,"OH MY GOD! When, where and how did THAT happen?" I see a sad girl. I see someone that is trapped by layers of fat. And by being trapped by the fat, my mind directly goes towards the"
- you're ugly
- you're disgusting
- no wonder no one wants to date you
So over the last few days i've decided to restructure my priorities and what i want out of life...my life...my only life. I want more than...well more than THIS! So i created my vision board:
The actual picture in the middle is from a trip i took to the Grand Canyon years ago (yes, that rock is in the shape of a heart). On that trip i was the Canyons Beotch! I couldn't walk more than 3 miles and i was done. My goal is to hike all the way down the Grand Canyon, camp out and hike back up the Canyon next April/May. That's my ultimate reward. I think about being able to do that and my heart swells up with pride and determination.
Then i created a "BEFORE" collage of photos...all sad. Look how sad i looked. My eyes give away my real sadness...
Then i created another page for a "BEFORE" and my "DURING" progress pics. What I'll do is at every 10lb interval i'll post a new picture. Ultimately i'm building my scrapbook of my weight loss journey. So after i hit 290 i'll post a before at 318+ and me at 290 and so on. Once i hit 280 i'll take the old page and insert it into my album and tack up a new page of the 318+ photo (always the same one) and my 280 picture. I'm killing two birds with one stone!
Then guess what i did? YUP! I worked out! How could i not? I was motivated and pumped! I think i did just about 2hrs of strength training. Here's me after my workout:
Notice the stability ball, weighs and kettlebell in the background? My favorites to use!
I know i have muscle under here somewhere and i can't wait to see it!
Sometimes we just have to learn to believe in ourselves. Often that's the hardest part. We sabotage ourselves. We think we are less than worthy. WHY IN THE WORLD DO WE THINK THIS WAY? We are so worth the fight! I'm worth the fight and i'm in it to win in! I believe in myself. I believe that on December 31, 2011 i will get on that scale to find it reading less than 200lbs. I know it!
So now i must go strength train...oh, i'm also training with a friend to complete the Rock 'n Roll Half Marathon. I'm not looking to come in under that 4hrs but i am going to complete it.
Bye for now!