Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Had my thyroid checked out yesterday and the doctor decided it didn't need to be biopsied, didn't think it had caused my 9lb weight gain either, so crap on that. lol I am not sure where to go from here regarding my weight. I have counted all my calories for three wks now and nothing has changed. I was down a lb on Monday but gained it back by Tue. I have varied my calories, 1500 one day, 1800 another, 1600 an other, no change. Doing interval training on my elliptical, varying that. Is this all because I will be 62 tomorrow and my body is tired of change?? I drink my water, I eat my mufa's, I don't eat in the evening due to bad GERD, I think I am doing everything right but my weight doesn't change. Could it all be my attitude?? I remember a few months ago I did HCG for the second time, I didn't stick to the 500 cal a day but did keep it at 700 or less and I lost nothing. So if I don't lose on 700cal and I don't lose on 1600 cal where do I go from here????
Friday, August 17, 2012
So here I am 9 lbs over my can live with weight and don't know what to do. I am tracking my food, drinking my water and exercising 5 days a wk but nothing is changing. You know how you weight will go up and down during the week? Well my has been stuck on the same numbers for wks now. I did find out I have a nodule in my thyroid that needs biopsied and the two nodules I knew I had have gotten larger. Could this have caused my weight gain and inability to lose?? Who knows. All I know is that I am frustrated.
My life is calm now. I have so many blessings and am very grateful for all of them, why can't my weight be what I want it to be??? lol Like no one else here asks the same question. lol
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Back to rehab. Son wanted to go he said but he was on stronger drugs this time and it was harder. He stayed inpatient for a week then came home. /wow what a mess. He was angry, moody, outbursts, you name it. Of course husband thought he could fix everything so no rules no guidelines. We all were in therapy and son got really involved, never missed a meeting. He took it seriously this time. But my household was a mess, everything revolved around the son what he was doing, when he was doing it, how it was getting done. The therapist said guidelines needed to be set and adhered to but my husband was afraid he would push son back into drugs. Therapist tried explaining that any thing son decided to do he did because of a decision he made not any thing we did. I felt so overwhelmed. I couldn't make myself go to the gym, I ate what I wanted, I couldn't sleep. Everyday was a battle of some sort. Son got into physical fitness, this meant a gym membership, this meant clothing and shoes. It meant protein powder and vitamins and minerals. And of course he wasn't working so we continued to carry the financial burden. His room was a mess, he wouldn't pick up after himself, his bathroom was a mess. Wet towels and dirty clothes were everywhere in his part of the house. His room smelled. No fun at all. My grocery bill and water bill were out of sight. He ate so much protein I couldn't keep my freezer stocked. Eggs, he would eat 5/6 dozen of eggs a week. He cooked day and night. Smells would wake me up at night, he had decided to fry bacon or bake chicken. I would go to bed with a clean kitchen and get up to a sink full of dishes, the ones that is that weren't left in his room, a dirty counter and floor. The only arguements my husband and I had ever had were over his son. This had gone on for 3 yrs, I was fighting a losing battle over what the son did and didn't do. I now weighed more then I ever had even being 9 months pregnant with my children. I decided to see a local doctor that one of my coworkers had seen for HCG injections. It was hard, 500 cal a day, very limited in what you could or couldn't eat, but I lost 23 lbs in 28 days. O my gosh was I excited. This time I was going to keep it off no matter what and I did till this last May. I broke my foot last July and had no weight bearing for 6 wks but I never gained a lb.I went on a wk long cruise, no weight gain. I went through Christmas, no weight gain. Went on a second cruise, no weight gain. Wow I had this weight thing whipped. I wasn't skinny by any means but I was at a weight I could live with and it didn't seem to be taking much effort on my part to stay there. Son had gotten a job, and was making nice money, he bought a house, he was moving out.YEA. Every thing was looking up, I tore my rotater cuff. Surgery and 6 wks at home with limited exercise but I didn't gain weight till the last wk I was home, but I went up 6lbs like over night. O no how could this happen. Son moved out my home was my own, I bought a treadmill and put it in his bedroom. This 6 lbs was going one way or the other. I joined Sparkpeople, I counted calories, I exercised, I went on a two wk vacation and gained 2 more lbs. Now I am up 8lb. I am now up to today and as of this morning I have gained 9lbs of the 23 I had lost. The end of the story tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
More of the story is we bought a house closer to where I worked, not so much my husband, and got a feel for living with just the two of us. It was wonderful. lol The first time in over two yrs of marriage it was just the two of us. I could cook when and what I wanted, we could go out for dinner if we wanted. I could do laundry when I wanted, no one elses clothes were in my washer or dryer, my spare bathroom stayed clean, never messes in the kitchen when I got up in the morning, can we say I was in heaven. lol Then about 7 months after the move it all came crashing down. His son was involved in drugs, he bought, he sold and he used. Someone had broken into his apartment with a gun trying to find the drugs. They ruined the apartment, scared the roommate half to death and the son needed somewhere to go. He moved back in with us. He went to rehab, halfheartedly, we all went to counseling, and it was a rocky road, I handled it like I always do, I ate. He made messes, he would only eat certain things, he came and went when he wanted. He had no means of support so we paid for everything. Can we say stress here. My house was no longer my own. I felt like it was him and my husband against me. I had raised my children to be adults, you made a mistake you paid for it, you worked it out yourself. Not so with my husband and his children. He did and still does to some extent like to take care of his children. Independence was not something this young man wanted to practice. He was 19 yrs old and acted like he was 15. The therapist said it was the drugs, that his brain would start to mature when he had been off of the drugs for awhile. The son was nasty to his father, he wouldn't clean his room or the bathroom. He got speeding ticket after speeding ticket to the point that his car insurance was $1500 a yr, and of course we paid for it. This continued for months. By now the son was being seen in outpatient rehab and was missing more appointments then he was keeping. He did find a job but kept having accidents, he fell off a ladder, he hit his hand with a hammer, there was always something. I kept telling my husband something is just not right. He was approaching his 20th birthday and the counseling should have been making a change in him. I figured he was back on drugs. He had a $400 phone, he had a new laptop, he was wearing $150 jeans. And he was not a nice person. So I started searching his room. Yes he was back on drugs and he was selling again to support the habit.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
A friend of mine was dating a friend of his and they thought we would be a good match. He was newly divorced with a 12 yr son he had joint custody of and he smoked. I had never dated anyone with children still at home or a smoker. But I liked him and we had fun so the relationship grew. He was a big guy, 225lb at the time, he had just lost 30 lbs, but his ex was a tiny 5'2" 120 lb person. The fact that his ex was so small intimated me, she was 50, the same as me but I was between 165lbs and 170 at that time. So I went on a diet and did manage to lose about 10lbs. Over the next couple of years I was up and down the scales, I would get up to 170 and diet back to in the 150's. I felt like I was always on a diet, never maintaining anything just trying to hold on to a lower number on the scales. Four years later we got married, I was now at 176. Thought I would try to diet into a smaller dress but never got around to it. Three months after we got married my husband had a hip replaced. A month after my husbands hip replacement his father had a stroke. While his father was in rehab his mother lived with us. This changed the whole structure of how we ate. We were use to eating protein, we were big Atkins fans at the time, she wasn't much of a meat eater and she was diabetic, non compliant, plus with the in laws at my house we had more company. I worked full time myself and drove an hour each way to work, and since my husband was still recouping most everything fell to me. I cooked, I cleaned, I waited on and I gained weight. Finally everyone moved back to their homes and I weighed 193. I should add in here also in the middle of all this my husbands ex had remarried and moved out of state and we had full custody of his son now. Nothing fit, I was angry, I went to Weight Watchers, I lost 17 lbs. I swore this had to stop, I would never gain this weight back and if I could I would lose 10 more lbs. I joined a gym, I bought an elliptical machine, I used the gym and the machine and I dieted I lost and then I gained, over and over. By now we had been married about two yrs. His son was graduating from high school, starting college in the fall and moving into his own apartment. We decided to move and downsize. The rest of the story later.
Get An Email Alert Each Time VICKIEANN82350 Posts