Tomorrow I do the deed...Official 1 Week Mark

Friday, March 23, 2007

Wow...I can't believe that tomorrow will mark my first week..and my first weigh in. I have worked really, really hard and am hoping to see some positive results. Even 1 lb down will be better than where I was a week ago, and I'm NOT going back there again...ever. I am really feeling guilty because I did no cardio today at all...aside from the daily vacuuming...which should count for something with my monster machine...it sucks...no pun intended. My knees were really bothering me, so I decided to give them a rest and get back to it tomorrow...but my brain gets all tangled up with the thoughts of how many calories I could have burned today...or how it might have meant one more lb should have been shaved off for my big weigh in tomorrow...it gets really ugly in my mind sometimes,lol. But I am making a conscious effort to leave all the coulda, shoulda stuff behind with the fat...little by little...I'm gonna git 'r done.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JCROWELL 3/23/2007 9:34PM

Don't feel too guilty...Everyone's muscles need a break at some point...a day off of cardio is good...also vacuuming counts as cardio...Congratulations on making it 1 week...Good luck on your weigh in tomorrow! Report Inappropriate Comment

THISREDHEAD 3/23/2007 2:12PM

You're meant to have "rest days" for you body to recooperate. Try not to beat yourself up. Enjoy your Friday/weekend. Report Inappropriate Comment

SHERBURNEMAMA 3/23/2007 12:01PM

Try looking up vacuuming. I did- in the cardio section- heavy housework, and it asked me how much time. I was doing some major cleaning when I started and that counts. Don't know where you live, but snowshoveling works too.....k Report Inappropriate Comment

Struggling with myself...

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I have felt very mentally committed and strong in my whole 6 days of sparkdom...but today cravings and weakness of willpower came calling without warning. No particular reason why...usually emotions or feeling out of control will send me reeling into the"all too waiting to catch me" arms of bad choices...but nothing was out of sorts in any way, to the contrary in fact. I knew my resolve would be tested...and will continue to be many times over as I struggle along this journey, I just wasn't prepared for the tests to start so soon. Even so, I did manage to handle it and not give in. Those urges and cravings to just drop everything and run through a drive-thru or fling open a cabinet to find something satisfying(I am having to re-learn satisfying) have become like a vicious spectre to me now...a villain that I have to defeat. Just holding out really drained my perk and determination today....I just didn't feel the boost in energy levels that I have in the past couple of days. I played basketball with my kids and walked a half mile this morning...but just didn't have the heart or the mindset to do what I needed to accomplish the daily goal of calories burned that is set. Meeting that goal is so important to me...and at 9:30pm tonight, I decided to hop on the treadmill instead of going to the fridge to hunt something that would completely derail me(it helps that the fridge and cabinets now hold very little that would suffice for that anyway..I just am not strong enough yet to keep the goodies around). The spectre tried to suck the energy and will from me today, but I managed to pull it out and kick his ass without giving in...and it was so hard, but I did it. Strangely I just don't feel confident and proud of myself like I should. It is defeating to even have those issues come up, even though I held out. I just hope that the next time it happens I can hold it out as well....I just simply cannot fail at this...won't allow myself to fail. I am also going to have to learn to not become solely independent on my food/excercise tracker...they have become somewhat like going to visit the great and powerful oz each time I enter something...and when my results are positive yet again...it's like the wizard himself has popped out to pat me on the back and say good job. I don't know why I seem to need that outside affirmation..but I do. Just something else to work on in this ongoing episode of "Extreme Me Makeover",lol. Another thing in a long list of many....I cannot give in...or give up...I just can't. Oh yes...and just in case anyone was curious...the Yerba Mate was not bad at all. It is in a tea bag and you just steep in a cup of hot water...it has a STRONG tea-like flavor....and I did seem to feel the brain fog lift to some extent after drinking it...and I did not have all the caffeine and creamer of the 2-3 cups of coffee I usually throw back each day...not bad.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JCROWELL 3/22/2007 5:00PM

I have been having a really hard time with cravings lately too. I have found that the 100 calorie packs have really helped me a lot. I know they are not "healthy" or "good for me" necessarily, but at least this way I can give into my cravings without feeling guilty or going over my calorie range. I also keep apples, carrots, and other good for me snacks available so that if I feel hungry I have something I can snack on without messing up my calories. If you are always depriving yourself of the things that you like it makes it much harder to stick with the new healthy lifestyle. I am glad you were able to resist temptation...good luck in the future :) Report Inappropriate Comment

MAP9980 3/22/2007 12:11AM

I'm so glad you were able to hold off on temptation and were able to get some exercise in. I know exactly what you mean about the urges and the cravings. You are not alone. Every time you don't give in to them, you get a little stronger. I really wish you the best and I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Mel Report Inappropriate Comment

Feeling kinda' loopy...

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Today is only the 5th full day that I have been eating right, excercising, and making other strides towards the changes I need to have happen in my life and I'm not sure why....but I feel quite out of whack. I don't know if I can attribute it to a shift in my metabolism(previously non-existent I'm sure) or the two cups of coffee I had this morning, but I just feel kind of spinny, jittery, anxious, and unable to focus very well. I normally drink that much coffee....but pre-SP, I had a whole lot more in my belly to soak some of it up...so I'm not sure if it isn't just the extra caffeine I needed previously...isn't quite so necessary now and I've overdone. My heart isn't racing or anything like that....I just feel really wacky, anxious, and jittery a bit. As much as I ADORE my java....cut me and I bleed dark roast....I am going to seriously cut back and possibly wean myself altogether. It is just something else I have put into my body to take the place of something I should be doing. I have found a "caffeine alternative" that I just recently learned about called Yerba Mate'. I haven't tried it yet, but it is an all natural drink harvested from the rain forest that is supposed to help your body energize itself naturally and be supportive in a weight loss effort as well. It may taste like dirt in a tea bag...not sure yet...but I am going to give it a fair shake tomorrow. I heard about it on the Living Fresh show on Discovery Health channel. Check it out at www.guayaki.com. I shall report more tomorrow...I now am off to check out my new Leslie Sansone WATP dvd and burn some of those evil calories off my person....hopefully tomorrow I will be back to my non-spinny self,lol.

{edit} I made it through 2 of the 3 miles on my new WATP dvd and I feel really good about that...first time to do it and everything. I have WATP Express...and I absolutely love it..hopefully it won't be long before I can make it through the strengthening band portion and mile 3. Jury is still out on the Yerba Mate until tomorrow : )

  

Needing to retrain my brain....

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I am sitting here tonight thinking how much I need to reprogram my brain as I try to reprogram my body and my life. In the past when I have dieted with any success...I virtually starved myself and used OTC diet aids to speed the results. My body was younger then and could tolerate jumping head on into excercise almost obsessively. I equated the feeling of hunger or emptiness with being on the fast track to losing. As I sat down to track my food for the day...I couldn't help but notice how full I felt and it made me feel very down and guilty...as if I had failed for the day. But then I stopped myself and remembered that what was making me feel full was the healthy things that I put into my body in healthy amounts, accompanied with the water that I should have always been drinking, but didn't. I had to tell myself, literally...that it is ok to feel full and satisfied and that those feelings don't always come as the result of over-eating or just plain binging...they can come as a result of something positive. There are so many little battles to fight and win in order to stay on track towards my goal of never being back where I am today. Many of those battles I probably can't even guess right now...but I will face them when they come, and I will do my damndest to fight them and cope with something other than food. I am only 5 days into this journey, but my resolve is growing with each passing day. As the things that trigger my "hit the fridge and feed away the issue" are being coped with by me facing them...and not by me being overcome by them. The urges are so strong sometimes...but I am not going to let myself go backwards from here...I owe it to myself.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PSYCHOGREENGIRL 3/20/2007 12:59AM

wow. you've got a pretty good idea of what you need to do already. its nice to use these journals to contemplate your own actions, huh? but yeah, don't feel too bad if you're full after a meal. maybe you're eating slower than you used to and you're "full" a little quicker now because of it (i certainly am and have been so surprised when i've noticed food left on my plate this past week, for the first time in many years--dang mom and her clean plate club thinking drilled in my head). keep up with it and just focus on where you're going. sounds like you know how to get there, so keep it up. Report Inappropriate Comment

Dealing with frustration in a better way...

Friday, March 16, 2007

I wish I knew and could understand what it is within myself...in my brain or dna or whatever...that causes the impulse to want to reach for something to eat whenever stress or frustration pop up. I recognize when this happens...but wish I knew how to make it go away..it is such a struggle for me. I am proud of myself today though...because I did not give into the impulse. Today is day 2 for me...and I am still doing well with my food thanks to the accountability I have with my food tracker....I also got in my 30 minutes of cardio...though I was disappointed to find that my jaunt on the treadmill only burned a little over 100 calories....but I gave it my best effort and I am trying to stay positive. That has always been a problem for me....starting slow...baby steps...not being able to go from couch potato to a 5 minute mile...and I am working on that. Giving myself credit for putting forth the best effort I can....it's the only way to make strides towards where I need to be in terms of excercise. I also decided to try and throw in some extra crunches and modified push-ups...but it is just so difficult to do when my 3 year old won't stay off of me. I am encouraging him to do things with me...but he prefers to climb on me...which frustrated me and made me want to run for the fridge and console myself....but I held strong and eventually the impulse passed and I continued doing what I set out to do and accomplished it...so I guess that's a good thing...I have just got to get where I can burn what I need to burn to stay on target...oy.