Friday, March 07, 2008
It's TGIF and I have a whole lot of things to be TG'ing about:
** We have finally completely collected for, delivered, and rid my tiny living room and my brain of over $700 in Girl Scout cookies. I managed to ALMOST keep myself out of them for the most part...and in doing so took "eyes in the back of my head" off almost 4 y/o son for a split giga-second...in which he managed to consume a whole sleeve out of someone elses order...OY! Just to replace the one box took ordering a whole other case of 12 to find homes for in lieu of my rump. Yes...it is a good...no..GREAT day when the cookies are no more....can I please get a Hallelujah!!!
**Next point of TG'ing....I am down 4.8 lbs. this week....lard be GONE!! I am approaching my 1 yr. Sparkiversary and am down 89 lbs. I owe every ounce of that to Spark and my family of friends here. This was a huge, huge point of motivation for me because I have worked sooo hard...thanks in large part to the two challenges I am participating in this month...they helped me so much psych myself into stepping up my excercise. It's been a LONG time since I had results like that...and I don't expect to see them again anytime soon, but I have succesfully got my body back into the mode it needs to be in for results. The only downside is that my house is a complete shambles and I am having to come to terms with the fact I cannot do it all(so not easy for my beyond Type A self). To keep this momentum up...I have to put myself and what I need to do for health much closer to the top of the list. My house was previously spotless, no matter what...and I was morbidly obese, lethargic, unhappy, and in all honesty...literally dying. Now....my house looks like...ummm....the atom bomb went off...BUT..I have excercised for at least 60 min. EVERY day....am not quite as fat....am getting happier...and am LIVING life now...at least to the best of my fairly sequestered sahmness abilities : D Progress...is GOOD!..and just in the nick of time because in May I will be facing......
**Fat Girl's Nightmare!!!! - Yup...that's right...B-E-A-C-H *heavy sigh* I am mentally not ready for this yet...but that's all just tough tiadora because it's already booked and non-refundable, LOL. My daddy retired this year and he and step-mom are taking us to Mexico(see pic of resort above)....I haven't been on a vacation since I was like....10 I think. This was all a very sudden and recent development...and I wasn't given much chance to protest...(who in their right mind would...just goes to prove I am NOT in my right mind, LOL)..so I am still coming to terms with the fact that I have to stuff my arse into a bathing suit...and in public no less. I don't know which is worse...that...or the thought of my son being cooped up on an airplane for 3 hours...it should prove interesting at the very, very least ; D All dripping sarcasm aside though...I am very grateful at the opportunity to see somewhere else in the world besides Oklahoma City....especially for my children as we may never be able to do something like this for them.
** Last but not least....I have finally dug around enough to figure out the Spark Goodies....and you know what...lo and behold.....they have messages that come with them....it's only taken me two weeks to figure that out =O That is definitely where Linus(or whoever it was) would roll their eyes and exclaim "good grief Charlie Brown!" LOL!!!
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
"I'm lovin' the 80s ~ Week 1 of March!!"
Holy crap...I cannot believe I am actually posting this. Can you feel the breeze coming off those 80's Aquanet hair wings...sheesh. This was me in my prom getup circa 1986...man...kids these days are soooo missing out by not getting to wear hoop skirts and Scarlett O'Hara floofy dresses, lmao!
ROCK ON and Rock Off the lbs. fellow 80's ML!!
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Time to pick up where I left off back at the beginning of this new year. Nothing like a tidal wave of life to drown the SPARK right out of you sometimes...but I managed to flail my way back up to the surface and after being drug back down more than a few times in the past couple of months...I am swimming steadily along now. I am so glad that I chose the background for my page that I did back in January...because today it helped remind me of how I felt when I found it...strong, empowered, full of movement and forward momentum....moving consistently towards my goal. I'm trading in the stress and strife that has held me under and reclaiming those feelings for my own now....ready to walk on....and maybe even run a little...at full speed ahead : )
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Grab a bottle of water if you intend to make it to the end of this,lol...I'll warn you now it's long, but I have so much flying around in my head right now. I am so thrilled to have all the holiday hoopla behind so that at least some of my time can be spent in ways I choose...and not so much how life has been demanding. The effects of the ice storm took a toll on us here and coupled with the chaos of visiting in-laws, outlaws, and ex-laws etc...well....honestly I'm just glad it's over.
I have so much enthusiasm and just sheer gratitude to be back amongst my SPARK friends and to refocus on my journey and see what and how you all are doing! So much has changed in my life, in myself...all due to what I have found here.
All in all, the collateral damage of what shall now be referred to as Christmas Sparkus Interruptus was relatively minor, I was very lucky for that. The last of the holiday feasting for our family didn't conclude until this past Tuesday, so I decided back in early December that I was going to have to take it all in stride. I tremble at the mere whiff of my sil's cheesecake or my mom's homemade ham salad...not to mention all the other savory and sweet delights that fill the gaps in between. So rather than freak and fret over all that lay ahead, I made a conscious decision to meet each morsel as it presented itself and take one day, one meal at a time. I was continuously surprised at how the knowledge I have gained here at SP really stayed in the conscious forefront of my choices and I enjoyed my ride on the Holiday Smorgasbord Express with complete awareness instead of blind gluttony albeit with some relative guilt. I knew there would be consequences on the scale...which there was, but I did not let that discourage me or steal my pleasure. SP has given me the confidence of knowing that I am in control of where I'm going and that a little detour now and then is nothing but that, a little detour.
After a few days of getting healthy foods back into my body, I am now .2 lbs down from where I started, and I am now feeling better and more energized, ready to get back to excercising regularly which is long overdue.
There have been a few things happen recently that truly helped me see how far I've come since finding SP last March.
1. I was able to sit down on a snow saucer...and ride said saucer down a hill with my children...and crash and fall off saucer...and was able to haul my big arse back up out of the muck..and repeat aforementioned nonsense a humphzillion times, something I would barely dare dream of, much less venture. In my previous life...if my knees would ever have bent enough to even get on the darn thing...once I came off it would have been all she wrote...there would definitely have been a crane involved in righting me to a standing position again. NO MORE!!
2. Running stairs at the Brick...the big baseball facility in OKC. They set up a "snow tube" there over the holidays....a big slide set up on a scaffold covered in man made snow. They tube down to the infield from the middle deck and then haul tube and self back up to do it again....those dang tubes are HEAVY and dd couldn't carry it but for a few trips...so enter mom...lugging tube and self up and down all those steps for the entire hour and a half session. I was a little winded...but only for seconds...you have no idea how amazing that was for me. This time last year...one trip up...if I made it that far...would have certainly resulted in an ugly scene...involving an ambulance...and oxygen...and the seeing of "the" white light...oy. DD has asked to do this for a few years now, but I knew that if I took her...I wouldn't be able to help her....NO MORE!!
3. In a brief moment of brilliant clarity or rampant insanity(I'm leaning towards the latter) I have decided to enter and walk my first half-marathon. There..I said it in public...so now it is out of the security of my brain and out in the universe...a commitment to keep. I was inspired by my SP friends here who are in training for one...and when I found that this one benefits the OKC Bombing Memorial(something close to my heart) and welcomed walkers...well, I felt it was meant to be. April 27, 2008...here I come!! I have no idea what a chip time is...and have to scrape up the $50 entry fee somehow...but nonetheless...game ON!
4. Pictures. Yes...a picture is worth a thousand words...or in this case...closing in on 100 lbs....lost that is : ) I have always been so painfully aware and ashamed of how I looked...I never let pictures of myself be taken...so I had very few, especially full body shots, to measure my progress. I found two from late 2006 early 2007...and actually took a few over the Christmas break to see if I could tell a difference, and I finally can. Even though I know I have dropped several clothes sizes...it really helped to see it in a photo...even though I hate seeing those old ones so much. It gave me an honest perspective of where I was and where I am. Unabashed honesty(with myself and you) have been a huge part of this for me and I have learned so much and am still learning. I do know that I will do everything in my power to NEVER go back there again!! The pics are in my gallery if you would like to check them out.
2007 will forever be remembered by me as a pivotal turning point in my life. I don't know what happened that day in March when I found myself staring at www.sparkpeople.com on my screen..what was so monumentally different in the alignment of the planets, what it was that finally clicked in my head and heart that never had before that enabled me to get off my duff and make change possible in my life and make it stick, all through my own sweat and tears...as well as with the sweat and tears of those of you here through this with me. Divine intervention would be the only explanation I could offer...and my gratitude for all things SPARK grows daily.
It just goes to show you can never give up hope...never quit trying even if like me, you have failed at the same thing , this quest for health, over and over so many uncountable times before. That next time...that next click of the mouse may just be the time the planets will line up for you too. There is no statute of limitations on starting over when your health, life, and happiness are in the stakes..NEVER give up. It simply was not in my realm of possibility to be where I am today...or to be within reach of an ultimate goal...for me...the impossible is now possible, which means that can happen for ANYONE!! The road has been long and arduous in more ways than could be stated...and the road ahead is just as long with highs and lows that remain to be seen...but the tools at SP have given me the knowledge and my family of friends here, old and new, have given and continue to give me the support, courage, and understanding that help me see myself through and over any obstacle that comes my way, of that I am certain now. I offer those same things and more back to each and every one of you as we continue on this journey together this year.
Yes...2007 saw me leave 76 lbs. of myself behind, but truthfully, I gained so much more than I lost. I gained knowledge, power of mind and body, I am building self-confidence and self-esteem more each passing day, and am starting to feel the benefits of what it feels like to live healthfully. Even all that greatness pales in comparison to the fact that most importantly...I gained a whole arsenal of friends who mean more to me each one separately as well as collectively than mere words could ever hope to express. Thank you each and all for sharing your lives and your journey with me. I would not be here now without the support you have given me along the way. I cannot thank you enough.
THANK YOU SPARK for making all of this possible for me..... for anyone! Now I am so ready to move forward...and SPARK-O-LATE in 2008!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I just wanted to check in with everyone who might have noticed me MIA again while I have the chance. We have been hit hard by a nasty ice storm. Our power came back on late last night along with internet(whew...I was getting the shakes,lol..from spark withdrawals, not cold!) so I wanted to let ya'll know that me and mine are fine now...just have some limb clean up to get on with...my yard isn't bad at all compared to those poor folks that have more trees. I have a beautiful and very old and huge oak tree that I love, and by some miracle of God, didn't come down on our house...it's limbs were hung down, but most never broke...many not so lucky. Lots of people still in the cold and dark too....I am feeling VERY blessed and grateful right now for sure! So, again it seems that life is trying to steal my Spark time and doing a great job of it...but I hope to be back on more regularly without issue,lol...very soon. The stress has gotten to me a bit and I had an ugly incident with several no bake cookies(and a block of cream cheese, salsa, and chips..and etc., etc., etc.)..ugg....and not being able to cook except outside with the propane really made me stop to think about the choices I was making out of convenience. Got to get back going with the excercise...and I'll be set. Even though in the past, things like this have felt like failure and total derailment...I now know it was just a temporary incident and I am back in the driver's seat already...and THAT feels GREAT! I apologize to the challenges I have joined in and haven't been able to participate...but just wanted to update while I could. Today the ice is all melted and it is just pouring cold rain...but they are saying more ice after midnight is a good possibility :( Soo...who knows...I'm ready to thaw out....just wish we could get some snow instead of this crap!! Hope you are all well and sparking merrily along your way....feeling great and healthy....I miss my time here...and especially my friends here SOOO much!!! Love to all!!
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