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Take THAT, medical anxiety! :P

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

I did it! I passed! Hot Diggity Daffodil! (Yeah, do the Bender! Everybody do the Bender! *robot dance*)

Today was the day, returning to the doc's to see if my BP was off due to meds or nerves... The last three weeks have seen an average of 123/67, and made sure to take my BP an hour before my visit (126/69), and there I went, armed with this knowledge and a book I've read a million times before... and tada! I passed!

I joked with Jonathan that I should take him with me so that I could hug up on him while they do my pressure because he's a very calming influence. "Waaaaaait! I need my huggie thing!" *lol* So, when it came to the moment of truth, I sat up very straight, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and thought about him giving me a shoulder rub. Hoo boy, dropped my blood pressure to zen-like levels. *lol* Seriously, it's what I think about when I can't fall asleep; I imagine a good, deep shoulder/neck/upper back rub and it relaxes me right out.

I've never actually had a full body massage, but I'm pretty sure I'd fall asleep on the table if I did. ^_^

Jonathan was amused when I told him of my visualization. "Yeah, I know how you get. You're like a big ol' cat sometimes."

So yay, I can continue on my meds, no more worries. :)

Now to beat this congestion so I can get back outside on my walkies routine.


Those Puppy Feels

Saturday, May 10, 2014

It's amazing what a car ride and a walk on the beach will do for my disposition. *grin* I feel like a puppy on the Best Day Ever with my favorite human. I woke up this morning feeling awful, phlegmy and sore and raspy. I got halfway dressed and crashed on the sofa, wondering what to do with my day, considering I can't breathe through all the gunk in my head AND it's the second to last day of vacation (and really, who in their right mind looks forward to going back to retail, I ask you? [btw, this is rhetorical; no cheeky answers about people looking for work or people unable to work])... so I'm feeling angsty and restless and I'm falling asleep where I'm slumped on the sofa next to the BF watching the Auburn Car Auction on TV (and hoo baby, there were some gooooooorgeous cars being sold). Jonathan, being observant and thoughtful, realized that I'd been cooped up and miserable this last week, my paid week off work that I should have spent outdoors and enjoying myself. He knows that even though I'm a crafty introvert who enjoys spending time cloistered in my sewing space, I need to be out in nature on the regular to recharge. "Why don't we get dressed and go to the beach for walkies?"
"Walkies?" I peel my eyelids open. "Beach?" My mental tail starts to hopefully wag.
"Yup. We'll grab lunch and get outside for a while."
At this point my brain was already sitting by the front door, leash held between its teeth. So I finished dressing, we walked down to the car, rolled 3 out of 4 windows down (passenger window's got a short), and away we go. After a few minutes of wind in my hair and sun on my skin I was feeling pretty darn good. Lunch was procured, and beach was achieved. BTW, I sprung for the state park license plate endorsement once again, so we can get into the dunes all summer for $11. There were more folk than expected there (ugh, tourist season...), but that didn't deter us from walking a total of three miles of shoreline. By the time we got back to the car I had my pockets full of quartz, shells, and beach glass. Many folk had brought their dogs to the beach as well, and they must have sensed my inner-puppy because most of them came up for a sniff-n-pet. I'm telling you, dog therapy works every time. :)

Unfortunately, Jonathan felt it was far too early to dip any parts of our bodies in the lake. *lol* He's worried about how I've been under the weather all this last week, and reminded me that this winter left the lakes 94% frozen over, so we may not want to plan any swimming trips until AFTER he's done with work training in August. I was only going to put my feet in, I swear. :)

I'll admit, I thought the hike back up the beach to the car was going to be the end of me. As I am asthmatic and can barely breathe through my nose right now (and even though it was only barely 70 degrees out, my black shirt made me miserably overheated), I was sounding godawful once we hit flat pavement. And the BF had the gall to ask me if I wanted to hike the main dune. *pfft* Maybe next time.

Since mom's day is tomorrow, we stopped at the local meat & produce market on the way home and picked up veggies and a roast to put together at grandma's, and voila.

That said... I've been under radio silence for a couple days while I transferred everything over to a new computer. I finally broke down and replaced the janky tower currently sitting in my coat closet. I've been working off a borrowed tower for half a year, but now I finally have a setup to call my own. My only issue is it's Windows 8. WTF. It took me forever to figure out, and another half a forever to get updates downloaded and installed. OY. I finally reinstated my SparkTracker, and voila. Now I need to figure out why it's glitching out on SparkPeople. Kept giving me weird tab-ads and not granting points for reading articles. :P

And now that the reality that summer WILL be arriving, I need to get off my butt and go look for some cherry print swimsuit fabric on eBay! I can't be seen in last year's suit, now can I? ;)

That said, I think a quick nap before dinner sounds smashing. Who's with me? ^_^

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PATTYKLAVER 5/11/2014 1:59PM

    Now you got me wanting to go to the beach.

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Y u no budge, scale?!

Tuesday, May 06, 2014

I confess myself... irritated. There's really only so much baked chicken I can handle, seriously. *snort* So, I've been eating healthier, keeping up with walkies... well, save for the last couple of days because my sinuses went seven kinds of haywire and I'm congested as all get out so I can't breathe well right now... chugging water, doing all those things one should do when trying to lose weight... and nothing. Haven't lost a thing. I stay within a 3 pound range and it's irritating as fark. My clothes aren't fitting differently, either. I'd be fine with maintaining weight if my clothes were looser, but they're not. The ONLY thing that's going well is my blood pressure. It's the only thing about me that's normal! *lol* So I got that going for me, which is nice. XD

I'm off to strap myself to a chair, shove a bare lightbulb in my face, and interrogate me as to what I need to do extra to make the jeans fit looser.

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PRINCESS_SOFI 5/6/2014 11:58AM

    Try fish.

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Fighting a Hereditary Battle... Game On!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

And now I have a rubbed-raw ankle to add to my blisters. Time for new shoes, methinks. Seriously, the back of my sock is caked in blood. When the frack did THAT happen? *lol* I am soooo hardcore. To be honest, when it started getting bad I was at the end of the riverwalk so I had to just grit my teeth and about face. I focused on my stride, my breathing, and my boyfriend's backside to keep from thinking about my feet. *grin* I'll admit, we took a wee bit of a shortcut back, taking the main road and cutting across, then coming up the back way to our apartment. It doesn't shave too much distance off, but it's not as rough a walk. The road we live on is so badly patched that the only thing that would save it would be to rip it up completely.

Anyway... I had my yearly "how's yer father" yesterday afternoon. The place I used to go to just stopped offering women's health and family planning services, so I found somewhere closer to home. New place, new staff (who are all delightful, btw), and all new fresh anxieties. I don't know why I go into full-on panic mode entering new places, but there I was going to an exam I've had several times before, totally routine, and my heart was pounding fit to burst, leaving me lightheaded and ready to hyperventilate. My body was freaking out, my brain was rolling its eyes and telling me to STFU. Unfortunately, this lead to my blood pressure registering way higher than normal. As usual. *sigh*

Now, it was in my medical records I had transferred over that I have "white-coat hypertension." I freak out in clinical settings, no matter how routine. The usual procedure is to take my BP at the start of the visit, and once the exam is over let me zen out for 5-10 minutes and come back and take it again. The 2nd reading is always much lower and more acceptable. This still concerned my old NP, which led to me buying a home monitor to show that my BP isn't up ALL the time, just when I'm anxious. Once I was given the all clear, I stopped monitoring. Welll... this WAS a very sedentary winter, and the boyfriend is a bad influence on my mealtime habits... and I've gained weight... (Ugh, thanks for reminding me, self!) so my BP was elevated more than even I'm comfortable with. The new NP, Jennifer, is concerned that it's not just my anxiety and wants me to return in a month and see if it's improved. She didn't take a second one right then, so I'm a wee miffed... long story short, I'm now overhauling my diet and throwing myself into getting off my arse more to show that my BP is fine, it's my "cat-in-a-dogshow" nerves that are causing me issues.

Part of me is really regretting telling her about my dad's heart attack last year. Technically, the question was "Has a parent/sibling had a heart-attack before the age of 50?" and he was 56, a smoker, and very sedentary. Once I told her that whole saga I got the furrowed brows and notations on my chart. *sigh* So here I am worrying my arse off about hereditary issues once again. Heart problems on dad's side, hormonal on mom's.

(I'm picturing that dude from Mad About You yelling, "why can't I WIN, Lord?" right now...)

We also discussed my job and how my previous NP wanted me to flat-out quit due to the stress it was causing me. It's to the point where I get nauseated and anxious on the drive in. :P Yay, retail. *gag* Other than that, we had a good time. I had most of the staff laughing at my happy-go-lucky self, and I came away with a gold star on my checkup chart. :)

In other random news, I'm really wishing that The Doctor would come pick me up for one evening, just one evening, so I could go back in time to find my childhood/preteen self and eat a big ol' bowl of salad in front of her. I'd eat the whole thing, making yummy noises the entire time, and laugh as she gagged in disgust. :D I have no idea when the salad switch was turned on for me, but there we are. Go figure. :) Maybe it's the crunch.

Aaaaaand I'm spent. Time to go doctor my ankle and rustle up some dinner.

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    Thanks. :) My ankle is much better today. Once I cleaned up the blood and let it air out, I only have two little scabs left. No worse than a shaving nick. But hey, great excuse to buy new shoes, and who doesn't like that! *lol*

Comment edited on: 4/23/2014 10:06:00 AM

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GEORGE815 4/22/2014 6:46PM

    Good luck with your ankle. Sometimes we don't know what we are inflicting on our selves.

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Dedicating these blisters to my cheekbones...

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Seriously! I have blisters! LOOK! *holds up feet*

So, here is day two of the riverwalk walkies with the boyfriend, and... blisters, what the hell! *lol* But I did it! I figured I'd do halfway and turn back, but nope, I was distracted enough by the nice weather, the good music, and the great company to do the 6 mile walk again.

By the way, I had no idea I could personally track my walk and save it here on SparkPeople. that is quite possibly the coolest thing I've seen all day. I'd say all week but I discovered some pretty freakin' cool stuff I can do with my phone yesterday, so... :D

Anyway, speaking of my phone, the BF showed me how to load my walkies playlist to my phone so I wasn't worrying about my mp3 player losing juice or getting lost. Hell, I was just happy being able to look at at a moment's notice! *lol*

Right now my twitter feed is half me complaining about my achy legs and half me telling myself to shut up and work beeyotch because look at those defined cheekbones in my profile picture. That was two halloweens ago! We want that again! The porcelain skin, piercing eyes, and CHEEKBONES. So we walk. We walk to the end of the riverwalk, and then we return because no one's going to come pick us up; we have no choice by then. *grin* As my stamina builds, I will pause to work out (read: play) on the new ninja toys at the park. On a day when I don't have to be home at any given time, I will continue the riverwalk to where it extends behind the YMCA and see where it goes.

I will also get the tires on my bike reinflated. I will buy a new bike chain (or a case of WD40). I will recommit to the barre workout I bought dumbells and a medicine ball for and gave up after two achy days.

And salad. Seriously, as a child I haaaaaaated salad. But now? Holy cow, I took it to work with me. WTF. I devoured that salad like it was the most delicious thing I'd ever tasted (and I'm a steak girl, so let that tell you what it may).

I will stop my bad skin habits. I'm a lip-picker, I admit. I'm a lip balm addict, so you'd think they'd be in good shape, but the second they get a wee bit rough I'm chewing and rubbing and picking and then my lips look awful. When they're healthy, they're very pretty (and mischevious!) but right now they need work. I don't wear makeup outside of mascara, so I don't need to change my washing routine. Add a moisturizer, maybe? I will remember I have lotion and I will use it... and dig out that cuticle balm. I will use that whole drawer of nail polish that I keep collecting but never bust out.

And of course I'm going to annoy at least two out of my four twitter followers with my aches, pains, and "pull yourself up by the corset strings" peptalking. *lol* I say two out of four because I think the other two are bots. The two are people I actually know, one being my sister. To be honest, she's the only reason I got a Twitter account in the first place. She left FB and it was the only way to keep up with her news. I swear, if it weren't for social networking sites I wouldn't know a damn thing going on in her life... like my niece in the hospital again for an illness. Ugh.

Today's walk had Jonathan promising to not do the jedi-mind-trick with our walking speed like last time. Thank gawd, because this time was somewhat slower than last, and I had to stop a few times to stretch and re-learn to breathe. My asthma causes it to feel like my lungs don't inflate fully at the bottom, and I found myself taking ridiculously deep breaths to prove that yes, they are still working and no, I'm not going to die. We didn't play on the ninja toys because even the thought of trying it left me wanting to fall to the mud and napping it out. I'm hoping that after a week of consistent walking I'll be energetic to play on the workout stations. Just the beginners stuff, though. Don't want to over-do it. *grin*

About the mind-trick... I never explained it fully in my last entry, so here goes. Jonathan is a Marine, and he used to do the same thing to the Marines of which he was in charge. They'd start out at one pace, and after a mile or so he'd start picking up his pace, and they'd unconsciously match him to keep up. He'd keep doing this, assuring them that they were keeping proper time whenever anyone questioned the speed. It was subtle, sneaky, and it worked every time. (BTW, Jonathan's always been a runner. He was in cross-country in high school and placed at a state competition.) He tried the same technique on me, only with walking, and i managed to keep pace until about 3/4 of the way back to the apartment when my energy started to flag.

I'm still laughing about it.

He said that when I've got my land legs under me (in other words, when a 6 mile walk doesn't wear me to the bone) he'll start training me to run. He says if he can train his mom to run, I'll be a breeze. *lol*

So... here's to discernable cheekbones, to new cinches on belts, to looser jeans, and respectible stamina. Cheers.

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MOTTAMAMALOU 4/8/2014 6:55PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Your blog was a hoot and your walk was amazing.

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