Saturday, July 27, 2013
When people have babies, I knit blankets. It's almost a Pavlovian response with me. Oh, your (insert relationship here) is preggers? BLANKET TIME! It's a simple pattern (See Stitch-n-Bitch, "Big Bad Baby Blanket"), it keeps my hands busy, and it takes care of the stitching itch that rears its head every so often. This time around it's my boyfriend's younger sister Samantha who is having another boy. I got my yarn, and I've been steadily stitching for the last few days. I'm about 55 rows in, roughly a third of the way done. Admittedly, I'm not exactly burning calories like whoa when I'm on my ass knitting, but think about it. If both hands are occupied, I haven't a hand left to snack with. ;)
One thing I like to do while knitting/crocheting/cross-stitching is catch up on TV. I tend to watch informative shows like Modern Marvels and the like... when it comes to fantasy tv, it's Doctor Who or get out. *lol* Anyway, I discovered there are six or seven episodes of Extreme Weight Loss on On Demand.
Now, for those who haven't heard of this show, it's about people who have hundreds of pounds to lose who contact this personal trainer to be taken on for a year of intense life changes to get down to a decent weight. I'm hooked, and I have no idea why! Anyway, they go through 4 phases, each consisting of 90 days. The first week is boot camp week where they bust ass and learn new eating habits and food prep techniques and such. Then they're released to the wild with a weight loss goal. Phase 2 usually involves some sort of personal crisis that involves intervention, and Phase 3 starts talks of skin removal surgery. The end is a big reveal and final weigh in which usually has the person reaching their goal weight. Like I said, no idea why I'm so fascinated by this show.
So there I am, watching this show, knitting my hands off, and I get to thinking. As of yesterday I was at 170. My ultimate goal is 135. Given my body structure, any smaller would be ridiculous. I'm only 5'3", but I'm muscly and sturdy. Seriously, smaller than 135 would make me look like Skeletor. My mid goal is 150. I've seen 150 once in my adult life... although, to be fair, I was down with mono at the time and because I'd dropped the weight so fast I looked like seven kinds of hell. *lol* The folks on this show are dropping up to 100 pounds in the first three months (137 in one rare case), which made me say to myself, "Self... if these people can bust ass and lose a freakin' HUNDRED pounds in three months, there is absolutely no reason why you can't hit your mid-goal by Halloween, or at least come really damn close to it."
After every row I knit I wanted to jump off the couch and go run. I am NOT a runner. Geez, I am one easily influenced person. Next best thing, walkies with Em. I text Em, she texts back... and out of nowhere it starts raining like a fool. Oh for Bob's sake, what is this mess. *sigh* After the rain stopped, I took out the trash. As I didn't want to be chatted up by a neighbor who was also taking out the trash, I thought I'd run to the dumpster and back. Yeah, remember when I said I wasn't a runner? Still not a runner. I barely made it to the dumpster and back. It's only at the end of the parking lot! Yes, I live on ONE end and the can is at the OTHER, but... Ugh. No stamina whatsoever.
At the beginning, before the boot camp, the trainer, Chris, asks the people he's helping what they want to do, what their goals are, what they see themselves doing... and it's always something about just living life. Keeping up with kids, living longer, doing things they used to enjoy but can't because of the weight... there's usually some noble, touching, emotional reason why they want to lose the weight. So I asked myself, "Self, what 's your reasoning? Why do you want to do this?" And I answered myself, "Y'know, I already do what I want. If I want to go to the beach in a swimsuit, I do. If I want to go run around the park, I do. I don't have sleep apnea, I don't have any seriously pressing health issues that threaten to take me out the game in my middle years... if I'm honest, all my reasons are superficial. I want to buy a sewing pattern and NOT have to enlarge it because it doesn't come in my size. I want to wear a fitted shirt and not look lumpy. I want to not jiggle."
So, while I was knitting, I imagined myself talking to this dude, and trying to come up with a better reason to lose weight, and what I wish to accomplish with my health... and I started snerking like a pervy little fool. One of the things that truly needs work is my stamina. Back in the day, I could go all night. I used to put on my headphones and dance for HOURS into the night. Not because I wanted to be thin, but because I wanted to MOVE. I would ride my bike all day. I would rollerblade up and down the driveway for hours. Nowadays, I can't do that. I CAN walk several miles without stopping, but that's fairly low impact and easy. Em and I can walk and hike from sunup to sundown. Strong legs, man. :) Anyway... the one area where my lack of stamina truly shows is the bedroom. :3 My boyfriend is a Marine, and has enough energy for twelve people. Me? The spirit is willing, but the flesh can't hang. It's become a running joke between us about how easy I wear out. I want to put an end to that. I want more energy, I want more endurance, I want to be able to be able to enjoy any activity without flagging. Imaginging myself explaining this to Chris only to have him giggle himself silly was oddly satisfying. :)
So anyway... I totally borked on the Barre workout I started in my last entry. It really doesnt' help that I bookmarked it on my laptop and had the laptop throw a wobbly, thus losing all access to said bookmarks. I'm working off the Desktop now. :P
I did take my bike out today. Managed to go from the apartment to the end of the riverwalk and back in a little over a half hour. Woo. My two complaints are 1) the blind spots along the path that have high potential for collisions, and 2) my road is so badly patched that riding it KILLS my butt. But I did it. My ankles were covered in hives (thank you, sudden cold snap, for dropping the air temperature and aggravating my skin), my ears were hurting like mad (once again, thanks, cold snap), the muscles at the front of my thighs were aching, and I felt like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs (thanks, asthma!), but I did it. Now to see if I can KEEP doing it. That's the issue.
One thing I was unaware of was that apparently I'm supposed to have a little voice in my head telling me that i can't do things, that it's pointless, etc... um... I don't have that voice. I have very sarcastic and snarky and hilarious voices in my head, but there's not a voice of defeat. Chris keeps telling these people to kick that voice in the teeth, but... if it's not there, what am I kicking? Listen, dude, if I gasp that I'm not getting enough oxygen and I'm getting dizzy, it's not a voice in my head psyching me out. It's a bad set of lungs that are starting to sieze up and prevent me from getting a full breath. if I don't take a moment to relax my lungs and get some air so I don't pass out, that's not whining, that's medical science. :/ Oh, and sometimes his particular flavor of peptalking makes my eyes roll of their own accord...
See, I'm a naturally sarcastic, snarky, funny person. Don't come at me with "Let's go team!" talk, and don't scream in my face about what you think I can do. The chipper pep talk always comes off as fake, causing me to respond with snark. The drill-sargeant act? Yeah, that will trip my stubbornness button and I dig in my heels. Oh, think you'll do the reverse psychology by telling me you don't think I can achieve something? *lol* Nope, not going to work either. I'll see your reverse psychology and just smile.
Honestly, it's that chipper peptalk stuff that annoys me the most about SparkPeople. Yeah, it's a site where we all boost eachother, but 99 times out of 100 it all comes off as soooooo cheesy and insincere. People leave comments and way-to-go's and... leave me turned off. I'm a solitary animal, I prefer to be mostly left to my own devices. I'm not looking for a cheering squad, just a point of focus. Hee, I sound like a total crabapple, don't I? :)
It's lunchtime... time to forage for nuts and berries before work.
Monday, June 17, 2013
So, in addition to my bike riding (ooh ooh ooh, I bought this cool little velcro pouch thingie that holds my ID and phone and stuff, it's so awesome! Now I don't have to shove all my stuff in my bra! Yay!) I decided to take up this Ballet Boot Camp thing I saw here on SparkPeople (it's actually over on Prevention dot com but I was linked from here). It didn't look out of my range, and I've always been fascinated by dance, even though the majority of my youth experience was six months of baton class... long story there. I'd just like to brag that I won awards for my marching form, and I was one of the only girls with enough poise and proper posture to be able to set my baton on my head and walk the length of the gym twice. If it fell, you did it until you succeeded. ALWAYS got it on the first try, thank you very much. :) Then again, it could be because I have a flat head. *lol*
Anyway... I'm a clumsy, spastic person, so naturally I'm drawn to things that promote better posture and grace. Not to mention it's great on the legs, and I already have good muscly legs as it is, so... I bought a 9" ball and two 3# dumbbells last night (when I bought the bike pouch, woo!) and today I started the program. I'd have started yesterday but I had this... I don't know what to call it. It was a twinge on the left side of my body, in that area between my butt and lower back. I'm sure the wearing of my sexy red slingbacks did nothing to help it. *lol* Yeah, excuses excuses. Anyway, it bothered me enough that I didn't want to cause myself real injury, so I took it easy. Sundays can be my rest days. :D
Today... today I did the first day. I'll admit, I didn't do ALL the reps they asked for, but that's okay. I wasn't expecting to pull it off completely, but I did more than half that was asked for the first few moves, and I count that a success. The last few moves I did ALL the reps. Woo! I was shaking a bit, but I wasn't in pain, and I'm sure my form wasn't the greatest, but I'm okay with that. I broke a sweat. Isn't that the main goal? :) Of course... that could be because it's hotter than dragon's breath outside right now. So... like last time, I'm waiting for the sun to go down a bit before attempting any bicycle fun, or enticing Em to go for riverwalkies.
The barre boot camp is a 25 day challenge. So... day one down? Yaaaaay! I'm also thinking about working on something else I found, a program to work "hip flexors" and what not in order to achieve a full split. I managed to do that ONCE in my entire life, and that was after a day of running around at a park, where I was all loose and limber and full of energy. This was also several years ago. *lol* But I pride myself on being more flexible than most, and I want to stay that way.
That's all out of me. Time for finishing laundry and a sewing project. ^_^
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
So... back in March I talked about getting my bike fixed. I did that in early May. It took until today for me to actually pull the damn thing out and ride it... and I totally forgot how completely unforgiving it is on my ass. *whine* I've also forgotten the early leg burn when one hasn't been riding on the regular. *sigh*
Anyway... since my last entry, my roommate has moved out, and I'm now by myself. It's depressing as all hell, being alone.
I've also had two overnights at work, which has thrown off my sleep schedule. Not to mention the next three weeks at work are going to be stressful as all get out, since the boss is going on vacation and leaving me in charge.
That said... I didn't get to bed until six this morning, and I woke up at 1:30 this afternoon. My first activity was to take my bike out, but... dear lord, it was way too hot. Okay, that's fine, I'll wait until it's cooler out. But.. waiting was bad. I lost all motivation to even move. Even when I got legitimately hungry I couldn't get myself to get up and move. I had to shame talk myself into changing into my workout clothes! At first I texted my former roomie to see if she wanted to go for walkies. She said no, because the humidity was too high and she was in the middle of a project. Going for walkies with her is far more motivating than going anywhere by myself, so here I sat yelling at myself for not getting up and getting going.
"C'mon, just around the block. Just up and down the road, nothing major. Just get off your ass! Anything's better than just sitting here." So I put on my sneakers and went down to my bike.
Oh lord, my janky ol' bike... I bought a water bottle holder for it, but it doesn't fit, and I accidentally stripped a screw... right now it's tied down with a long strip of bias tape. *lol* I'm going to just get a basket for my keys and stuff. Oy. Anyway... as I was getting ready to kick off, Em (former roomie) texted and asked if I was available as a second set of eyes. She'd lost something and needed my assistance. Also, we hadn't seen eachother in almost 3 weeks and she wanted to catch up. She moved into a teeny cottage-like house around the corner, so I got on my bike and rode to her place.
It's true that you never forget how to ride a bike, but that doesn't mean those first few minutes aren't dicey as hell. *lol*
The ride to her house is far harder than the ride back; the terrain doesn't change that drastically, but it's enough of a grade to leave you panting your face off when you get there and almost enough to coast all the way home.
Also, I need a headlight and some flashers.
Anyway, I ended up making the trip twice because the thing she lost was a skeleton key to a cabinet containing all her books. I went back to the apartment for my collection of keys in hopes one would fit and work. ONe fit, but it didn't work. Turns out the key had been hidden under a sofa cushion. Long story there.
So... I blathered on about all that to say that I got off my ass today. It took some serious stern talking, but I did it. And once I got moving, I actually got the motivation to go get milk, olive oil, socks, and a new bathroom scale. *lol* I also window shopped for a new shower head, kitchen knives, and other goodies.
Oh yeah, remember a few entries ago where I was all kinds of excited because I got a raise and that meant I could afford better groceries? Well, since the roomie moved out I'm back to where I was. I'm paying ALL the bills around here now, and it equals out to how much of a raise my promotion got me. *sigh* Why can't I win? *lol*
On the plus side, it's only 6 months until Jonathan graduates college and hopefully will be making his way here. :D He did say if things get tight he'll transfer classes and find work up here so he can move in early and help out. He's such a keeper. ^_^
And that's that. Tomorrow, if it doesn't storm, (and my butt isn't hurting) I'll take the bike out again. Thursday I have a walkies date, and I'll sneak in some riding in the mornings before work over the weekend. :)
Friday, March 22, 2013
There is no bigger wake-up call than struggling into a pair of jeans. *snort* Seriously. So... yeah, totally sedentary winter combined with a week at the boyfriend's where we ate out every time we turned around... yeah, once again I've got several pair of jeans in my drawer that I'm not fitting. *sigh* There's an upside, though, because true spring will arrive soon and before that happens I will be replacing the tires and tubes on my bike. I will soon be able to get out and about and get some riding in. :D
Also, on the plus side... sorta, depends on the way you look at it... the roommate has hit her breaking point. The point where enough is enough and something's got to give. Her doctors are convinced that she's got a food allergy that is causing her problems... plus she's a... a... crap, what's it called? Compulsive eater. She's got a lot to work through. More than I. I'm just lazy with a hormone imbalance. *lol*
Well, to be honest, all I've wanted to do in the past month or so is eat myself stupid. I have no idea why. I'm not hungry, I just want to eat. I need to keep my hands busy so they can't be used to shovel food in my mouth. *lol* So today, I'm working on some sewing projects. Good times!
The boyfriend has had a request from some of his nephews to show them how to properly exercise, so he's been stopping by a few times a week to work out with them, and keeping it going on his own. He's a Marine, and according to him at one point in his life he was fairly cut. Bad life choices and a sedentary lifestyle outside the Marines has left him a wee chubby (not that I mind, I love his body no matter his shape) but still well muscled. It won't take much to get him whipped back into shape.
Myself? I've never been IN shape, so... *lol* Anyway, my ideas are to go with the roomie whenever possible when she gets it in her head to go for walkies and hikes, and to take my bike out whenever I can. Now that my raise is in effect, I can afford better-for-me foods and such, and cut down on the crap... fingers crossed. *lol*
The roomie is another that was actually in good shape at one point in her life. When she was away at college she got down to her lowest adult weight and was a stone fox. *lol* No, seriously, she was sexy as hell. Unfortunately for her, she has lupus, fibromyalgia, IBS, gastritis, and a whole other slew of health problems, which complicates matters... losing weight will help with a few, we hope. She had a great theory the other day about her body's resistance abilities. "Look, I weigh (undisclosed amount). My body is totally used to lugging this weight around. My legs carry me up and down stairs and I only get a little winded. I'm doing better than most; I see women smaller than I who have to get around on the Amigos. My body is great at adapting. So once I start losing weight, getting back to hiking shape should be a breeze!" Here's hoping she's right. :)
As for myself... I'm just lazy. I have no theories, no excuses, no nothing. I'm lazy, and I'm impatient. I want to jump into exercise full throttle and fit into my jeans next week. I'm also easily distracted, so I will jump full-throttle into a program and then get distracted by something shiny. *lol* I don't do things on a routine. I do things as they fit into my day. Everything is fluid, and fitting into a routine just doesn't work. Hell, I don't even brush my hair on the regular. It's like, I will finger comb and be on my way, and when I get to the point where I can't finger comb, then I brush. It's clean, just... disarrayed. So working out on the regular and keeping such draconian tabs on my diet is just... not for me. I wish I could hire someone to do that for me. To cook my meals and prod me into working out. Some kind of personal assistant to run my errands and remind me of things so I can let my day flow as the Muse of Doing Stuff sees fit.
And I realize that this entry makes absolutely no sense. I started with a point, but I lost it about a paragraph in. *lol* That happens, sometimes.
Anyway, my point was that enough was enough, and I've got to start spring fresh and get off my ass. I need to hang my inspiration back up on my mirror, reinflate my balance ball, get tires on my bike, and just MOVE. And drink more water. :D Damn that Dr. Pepper. *lol*
Monday, February 11, 2013
So... I accepted a promotion at work recently, and just passed all my training earlier today. What does this mean? I can actually afford healthy food! Zoinks, Scoob! *lol* I can buy real running shoes! OH MY GAWD. Who's got two thumbs and is excited? This girl? You bet!
The silly thing is I've got the tv on in the background and Jon Stewart just mentioned nacho cheese body shots. *snort*
Y'know what else is also exciting? The snow is melting. Yes, I realize there's more on the way, but for now it's melting. SPRING IS COMING. Soon, my lovelies, the roomie and I can go for regular riverwalkies again, and go hiking in the woods again, and go to Warren Dunes for hikes and walkies and random tree climbing again! Yay!
Anyway, I've been wandering around Pinterest looking for good recipes and motivation and workouts and what not... Pinterest is the devil, doncha know. I've discovered some random things that sound weird but tasty, and I'm happy that I'll soon have the money to be able to afford the groceries to try these things out. :D
I'm making myself hungry as I type. Geesh.
This entry has no point. :) I now return you to your regularly scheduled Sparking.
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